Khorne Quest!

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**Cheese Elemental**

Scenario: You are a Khorne Berserker, the last of your warband, and you have been captured by the Ordo Hereticus. You have awoken to find youself locked in a 5x5 cell with no windows and a solid metal door. The only object in the room is a rock that someone has used to scratch a tally marking on the wall.

You rage and scream a lot, and bang on the walls to no avail. From outside, you hear a pair of guardsmen bang on the door and yell at you. You yell back, but since you are a Khorne Berserker, you suffer from DISLEXIA and INSANITY and can only say MAIM, KILL, BURN, and other phrases associated with destroying people.

This is how the game works: You all post an action, and I shall regularly check up on the thread, pick the best response, and continue the story from it.

Have fun!

**bigdaddydreadnought**

Ok then, i'll pick up the rock and use it to smash the lock on the cell door, then attack the guards.

**Lordhat**

I pick up the rock and proceed to bash in my brains for being taken prisoner, all the while chanting "Skulls for the Skull Throne!".

**Brother Condon**

put the rock up my butt and then give myself a wet willy

**Cheese Elemental**

Um. Can we keep this somewhat sensible... please? I know it's a chain fiction game, and by all means make it funny, but don't say stupid and pointless things.

You seize the rock in your mighty hands and smash down the door, slamming both GUARDSMEN aside. One of them slams headfirst into the wall, the contents of his head painting it a lovely shade of red.

The other GUARDSMAN gets to his feet but falters and starts trembling at the sight of your gore-splattered form and his dead comrade. A foul smell fills the air, and the GUARDSMAN becomes a SOILED GUARDSMAN.

Note: CAPS indicate an item you can use or interact with.

**Lordhat**

Lordhat wrote:I pick up the rock and proceed to bash in my brains for being taken prisoner, all the while chanting "Skulls for the Skull Throne!".

I thought this was a surefire way to open a warprift in my cell.

**Deff Dread red Edition**

Picking up the dead guardsmans helmet I proceed to smash his friend into a bloddy mess.

**Brother Condon**

I name my new rock Wilson and use the dead guardsmans blood to draw a face on Wilson. I then use wilson to smash guardsman # 2. Then because wilson asked me too I use him to smash guardsman # 1 even more. (Don't tell him but I think wilson is crazy!)

**Mekboy**

Rip the SOILED GUARDSMAN's LEGS off and beat him to death with the LEGS.

**Cheese Elemental**

With a mighty rending sound, you tear off the SOILED GUARDSMAN'S LEGS. Before he can die from shock, you smash the LEGS with all your might into his head, sending it flying away to bounce off the wall and roll to a stop. In a rage, you beat away at the body until it's just a bloody mess.

You are now equipped with LEGS!

As you straighted up, the legs dangling from your hands, you hear footsteps around the corner and a pair of STORMTROOPERS carrying SHIELDS and POWER SWORDS dash into the corridor and charge at you.

**Deff Dread red Edition**

Sinking my hand deep within the reaches of the leg I pull a bone from it.Snapping it I make a crude sword and dash into the fray,it is no match for their power swords so I just decide scew it.I run back down the corridor grabbing my cell door charging at them,with the whole corridor filled they have no way to dodge this attack and end up on the floor,were I proceed to grab their swords and kill them.

**Mekboy**

Yelling and screaming (kill, maim, burn mostly), I throw the LEGS at my new foes then barrel into a melee with them.

**Breotan**

I headbutt the first stormtrooper while punching his mates to either side of him as hard as I can.

**Cheese Elemental**

Yelling and screaming (kill, maim, burn mostly), you throw the LEGS at your new foes then barrel into a melee with them.

The first stormtrooper dies instantly as you throw one of the legs like a javelin so hard that it pierces his body and pins him to the wall, waves of blood flowing onto the floor.

The second leg smacks the other stormtrooper so hard that his entire upper body explodes. His legs totter around for a moment and fall to the ground.

Both POWER SWORDS and SHIELDS are intact, as is the DEAD STORMTROOPER and the STORMTROOPER'S LEGS.

**Anshal**

I take both power swords and make my way towards the docking bay, to make my escape

**Deff Dread red Edition**

I pick up both weapons and then pin the bodies to the wall with them.Then start to beat them while chanting,"Skulls for the skull throne,MAIM,BURN,KILL!!!"
all in the hope of attracting attention from the blood god himself!!!

**Mekboy**

I grab the LEGS and make my way towards the wherever the nearest enemies are. I leave the power swords, as they have imperial aquilas on them, and defacing them would take time. Plus killing people with other peoples' legs is cool.

**Golden Eyed Scout**

Taking a power sword, I deface it using the soiled guardsmen's fecal matter. I then proceed to chant under my breath
"KILL THEM ALL GONNA BREAK THEIR BACKS AND MAKE A BANDANA FROM THEIR SPINE GONNA KILL EM AND SLAUGHTER AND MAIM"
as I look for more enemies to kill. i happen upon a few more bastard imperials and dispatch them using by slashing the blade through their pelvis, up to their chest. His comrade begs for mercy, claiming to have a daughter. I knock him out and take a flask. I fill it up with his tears.

I now have INNOCENT'S TEARS. More slaughter awaits.

**Orkestra**

I grab one of the power swords, knowing that it's all about the quantity of the blood on my hands, not how it's obtained, and set off in a random direction, making as much noise as possible (NRUB MIAM LLIK or am I not that dyslexic?) in order to find more skulls for Khorne's throne.

**Cheese Elemental**

Taking a power sword, you deface it using the soiled guardsmen's fecal matter. You then proceed to chant under your breath
"KILL THEM ALL GONNA BREAK THEIR BACKS AND MAKE A BANDANA FROM THEIR SPINE GONNA KILL EM AND SLAUGHTER AND MAIM"
as you look for more enemies to kill.

As you squeeze the SOILED GUARDSMAN'S body to force all the gak onto the power swords, a massive explosion rocks the corridor. A large hole is punched in the wall by a grenade of some kind, and standing on the other side are a trio of Slaaneshi Marines with stark erections. They lick their lips and scratch their balls in anticipation of the coming (no pun intended) orgy of pain.

**Golden Eyed Scout**

I stride forth, promising pain that transcends any pleasure they have ever felt. My blade slashes their hands from their boners, quickly taking their heads (big and small)
and bask in the glory of my kills. I bend down, and take one of their BOLT PISTOLS. I can hear more noise from the other cells, and grin as I open them up, one by one, and destroy the inhabitants.

**Cheese Elemental**

You cannot decide if you successfully kill someone.

**Deff Dread red Edition**

I throw the soiled guardsman at the slaaneshi marines.Being strange sick freaks they start to take turns in touching and genrally doing things with the corpse that no man should be doing.I then shout the only three words I know and proceed to run into battle with them power sword swinging madly!

**Orkestra**

I decide to let the slaaneshi marines know that they missed all the fun by throwing the SOILED GUARDSMAN at them, and dive into a roll behind it, hoping to hit them in their exposed regions. (That'll teach them to fight with their flies down)

OOC: Man, can you imagine having your privates removed by a power sword covered in feces? :O

(Bet they can)

**Cheese Elemental**

You decide to let the slaaneshi marines know that they missed all the fun by throwing the SOILED GUARDSMAN at them, and dive into a roll behind it, hoping to hit them in their exposed regions.

The SOILED GUARDSMAN distracts the SLAANESHI MARINES. As they prepare to thrust their manhoods into the ruined corpse, you dive in and in one swipe, remove their boners. They scream in agony as their blood and you-know-what flows onto the ground. They all drop to the ground, rolling around before dying of shame and bloodloss.

They drop their CHAINSWORDS, which would make excellent weapons for spilling blood and removing heads. They also drop a syringe of COMBAT DRUGS and a bag of white powder with a straw in it.

**Deff Dread red Edition**

I pick up the chainsword,and combat drug.I inject myself with the combat drugs,the room starts spinning but after awhile I am fine and go about the merry business of cleaving the slaaneshi marines heads of as a sacrifice to the blood god.

**Arctik_Firangi**

Concerned that the powder in the bag may in fact be CONFECTIONARY SUGAR, I toss it into the air, destroying it with a chainsword's flash and filling the corridor with plumes of white dust. Inhaling deeply, I deliberately stomp onto the exposed syringe of the combat stimm and wonder where my space-marine-shoes got to.

If no one else disturbs the scene, I start removing Slaaneshii skulls.

**Golden Eyed Scout**

FAter dispatching the slaneshi pervs, I carve their skulls from their bodies, and drink what appears to be cherry soda coming from their throat holes. I then stalk about for awhile, speaking dislcsicly.