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So every once in a while I post a rant on Facebook about a random subject. This is my latest and thought I would share for enterainment purposes:
Top 7 Things Women Just L-O-V-E!
7. Deception: Only in the mind of a woman does "No" mean "Yes", "Fine" mean "Inwardly Seething", and "OK" mean "Not in this Lifetime".
6. Repetition: Ever watch two women have a conversation? Notice how the conversation seams to go on...and on...and on...and on, and yet get know where at the same time? Know why? Hint: both women’s' lips are moving at the exact same time. Similarly, have you ever wondered why women feel the need to repeat themselves to men 80 biggillion times? Habit.
5. Car Accidents: Men's response to engine noises is to pull the car over, carefully check the engine, and if not satisfied, take the vehicle to a dealer. Women's response...is to turn the radio up. Not convinced yet? Tell me then, what explains a women's propensity to apply makeup, comb their hair, and TEXT, all while mounting your back bumper (Err...I mean tailgating ) and merging into adjacent lanes without the use of a signal.
4. Discomfort: Three words...high heel shoes. What do they do? Permanently distort your Achilles tendon. Another word...corsettes. What do they do? Permanently deform your ribcage. One more word...thong. What does it do? You REALLY don't want to know...Yeah; I bet you won't see a man wear one of those to bowling night.
3. Crying: Seriously, do they ever stop? I mean how many guys do you know cry... when-they-are-happy!? Not to mention chick flicks...I mean they purposefully go out and pay (mind you...PAY) money to see a movie where the dog gets run over, the husband runs off with the babysitter, the wife gets cancer, and the son becomes a Democrat. And what else explains their infatuation with the bad boys? The guy they just know is going to break their heart...Hahmm...has already broken their heart...Hahmm...repeatedly.
2. Melanoma: What else could explain their all consuming desire to consistently bake their skin to the color of burnt umber?
1. Man Sweat: Ever wonder why your women insists on dragging you out to the beach when the humidity is 80% and the tempurature a scorching 100 degrees, all the while loading you up like a pack mule with 200 lbs of her "necessities"? Or why she turns the temperature up in the house to one degree above "sweltering" and then insists on cuddling with you?
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