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Chuck Norris always strikes first, ignores armour saves, and has WS 1000.


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Chuck Norris doesn't make love - he Tank Shocks.

Chuck Norris doesn't go out 'on the pull' - he performs a 'Sweeping Advance'.

Chuck Norris once rolled a D6. He got a 7.

I just finished a convoy through Helmand Province with no casualties. Chuck Norris led it on a tricycle carrying a nerf gun.

JEB_Stuart wrote:Let me assure you, Chuck Norris is still there, even in his advanced age, and can kill us all when he feels like it. I took this picture of him and then I snuck around to the back of the hotel and met him as he left. I didn't wash the hand that shook his for 3 days...

Why did you wash it all???
Also how did it feel to touch GOD!?!

If you watch a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, you'll see he actually rapes his victim, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them.

snikkyd wrote:If you watch a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, you'll see he actually rapes his victim, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them.

That's bullcrap, that camera would have to film at 300 000 frames per second

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a man so fast, his foot went back in time and killed Amelia Earheart while she wa flying over the Pacific.

Chuck Norris does not die. He simply gets bored with Earth and returns to his home planet, Roundhouse Prime.

If someone ever calls Chuck Norris 'G*y', the logic loop will cause he universe to colapse on itself, creating an infinately dense dot. The only survivors are Chuck and the man, who is sentenced to an eternity to roundhouse kicking in what he tries to pass for nads.

Chuck Norris once destroyed the periodic table because he only recognises the element of suprise

Chuck Norris uses another woman as a condom when he has sex.

Behind every great man is a great woman. Fething that woman in the ass is Chuck Norris.