Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

I yield to fixing powers, although I sense, the fix is in!

Fill my gerbil powered space ship with genetically engineered, 4-arsed super monkeys, and go invade the Planet of the Nymphos.

Fixed.

Can't begin to imagine what the offspring would look like though...

Seriously, invade us? Well... if it means a regular diffusion of the new Doctor Who series on TV, Dr Pepper,Irn Bru and Cadbury chocolate available in supermarkets, I'm with you guys!

Look the french surrender for chocolate and soda! Bring the Blitz of American products!

I say Italy after that. When was the last time anyone was afraid of an Italian in uniform? Pin striped suits don't count! I mean come on they got beat by Ethiopians. ETHIOPIANS!

Andrew1975 wrote:

Seriously, invade us? Well... if it means a regular diffusion of the new Doctor Who series on TV, Dr Pepper,Irn Bru and Cadbury chocolate available in supermarkets, I'm with you guys!

Look the french surrender for chocolate and soda! Bring the Blitz of American products!

Cure for our weight problem anyone?

xxBlazinGhostxx wrote:

Andrew1975 wrote:

Seriously, invade us? Well... if it means a regular diffusion of the new Doctor Who series on TV, Dr Pepper,Irn Bru and Cadbury chocolate available in supermarkets, I'm with you guys!

Look the french surrender for chocolate and soda! Bring the Blitz of American products!

Cure for our weight problem anyone?

Texas Chainsaw Weight Loss.

Anything that needs doing, Texas does it better and bigger!

Yeah, welfare needs a radical fix. I can't tell you how many times I've had to beat people away from me at the grocery store. No i don't want you to pay for my groceries and give you 50% of the value in cash. They do this at the register in front of the checkout person, the checkout person is telling me its a good deal. Seriously this is crap.

I also love when I'm buying my generic food and the person in front of me has all major brands and six slabs of ribs. Put that right on the wic card. ARGHHHHHH. I mean i like ribs, can I get some ribs free on the government, it's my tax money? CRAP.

WarOne wrote:

SilverMK2 wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:POLAND

Why the hell would I want to invade Poland when there is a perfectly good France just over the sea, begging to be invaded, with their silly hats and "I'm not over compensating for anything" bread sticks

France has nukes.

Poland has planes that go backwards that kill their heads of state and much of their functioning government.

Which would you think would be easier to invade?

Any country which has the prescience to get rid of its government before being invaded is clearly not to be trifled with.

Pick France. They can't nuke use because we are too close.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Anyway, back on topic,. I would pinch £1 billion from the Tresury and emigrate to Liechtenstein.

You gentlemen are not thinking this through. Wars are not won or lost by armies anymore, or by who can beat up whom. They are won by who is deemed right by the world and the UN. Therefore, you must invade the country least likely to be viewed as a pathetic target of aggression. In this case, the historical precedent definitely states that public opinion is on the side of Poland if they are invaded. On the other hand, America is only going to lift one finger (yes, that one) to help the French.

This means that if you can invade France, then you have a great shot at holding it. It shouldn't be that hard- let us not forget that they always suffer a rash of deaths from the fearsome summer. Apparently guzzling wine and not using air conditioners is not an evolutionary survival trait.

Now the Polish can be quite useful indeed. Especially if you need to make something shiny, or get your armies into excellent shape. Save them until after you've got your boots filthy from invading France.

Pick France. They can't nuke use because we are too close

France can't nuke anybody, they'd have to put their hands down first.

Just don't try to invade Australia. If the killer kualas won't get you, the diggeroos will. Even Team Weinie's not going to &*^ with Australia. They're crazy, and when a Texan says your crazy that means you're screaming bat*&^%^ out of your mind...

Start war with ANOTHER country and drag europe into it again? Wouldn't sort out the economy but it would give people something else to complain about instead.

War is the best thing for economies since... war!

Case and point: WW2

xxBlazinGhostxx wrote:War is the best thing for economies since... war!

Case and point: WW2

Point against you:

War of 1812.

Brits were scratching their heads on this one, as they were already embroiled in a war, and the Americans shot their economy from right underneath themsevles.

Question: What is sane? Going to war with the nation with the world's best navy when your nation's lifeblood is maritime trade?

Well it stopped you from kidnapping our people didn't it.

Frazzled wrote:Well it stopped you from kidnapping our people didn't it.

We only kidnap Texans in order to complete the other half of Tex-Mex menus.

xxBlazinGhostxx wrote:War is the best thing for economies since... war!

Case and point: WW2

Unless you lose, or aren't in a position to lend out massive amounts of materiel support to your allies.

Hmm, emperor of the United States eh? I'd legalize marijuana and tax it all for revenue. Then annex Mexico into the Union and use some of the pot money to rebuild the infrastructure so I can launch an assault and take back the Panama Canal. Then ask Canada if they want in...if not I 'annex' (read military action) another Central America country and dump over the gangs as I legalize drugs there and make more revenue. Maybe look to France and give Mountain Dew/Caffeinated drinks for support to sway popular opinion to becoming a commonwealth.

At this point rebuilding is going well in Mexico/others and I blitzkrieg ads to make Canada mine finally and the US becomes the United Empire of North America (seriously I just want Canada so I can rename the place) UENA will hopefully have a foothold in Europe to, in 10 years, overthrow drug lords in the middle east and 'do it up proper'. With commonwealths spreading the option of using nukes to stop UENA may force other countries' hands. In the Post war environment UENA is able to survive thanks to my ruthless orders to bum rush South America
and flourish eating coffee beans, potatoes and penguins (thanks Chile).

I will rise triumphant from the South (this ad slogan will help pick up militia numbers) to reclaim what was lost and UENA will annex more of Europe, the Middle East and Asia to become UTHME, United Territories of His Majaesty's Empire...

I'll pick up again if I can think of what I'll do with Africa and the UK...

SilverMK2 wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:POLAND

Why the hell would I want to invade Poland when there is a perfectly good France just over the sea, begging to be invaded, with their silly hats and "I'm not over compensating for anything" bread sticks

The Polish made perogies. PEROGIES MAN!!! Think of the power you would weild by decided who get's the delicous treat of cheese wrapped in fried potatoes!

dogma wrote:

xxBlazinGhostxx wrote:War is the best thing for economies since... war!

Case and point: WW2

Unless you lose, or aren't in a position to lend out massive amounts of materiel support to your allies.

Which is why we're dictators of America, the only country to not lose a war, Viet Nam don't count, we left, we didn't lose.

Well, sarcasm and ork logic off.

I would make everyone wear identical grey uniforms. After that I'm out of ideas.

Im stunned more people didnt get behind the whole big brother death by plank nights idea to be honest. Thats a ratings winner right there!

mattyrm wrote:Im stunned more people didnt get behind the whole big brother death by plank nights idea to be honest. Thats a ratings winner right there!

I got it and I thought it was hilarious that was probably my favorite idea of yours.

Bah, been there done that.

Frazzled wrote:Bah, been there done that.

The book was much better.

yep.

Cheers cheese, clearly your a man of taste.

All banks are nationalized. Insurance companies are done away with. Health care becomes reasonable, non profit, prevention based system where people are rewarded for good health habits and the unhealthy are taxed much more heavily.

Drug use crimes are punished with forced rehabilitation, crimes relating to drug dealing or transporting are dealt with severely, and repeat offenders are capitally punished.

Immigration reform would be immediate and a much more widespread and regulated guest worker program would be initiated which would give the benefits of under the counter labor for cost with the regulation and standards of above the counter. Troops are moved into mexico to secure the border and forcibly destroy cartel presence. Al-queda kills vastly fewer americans then mexican cartells.

Largescale financial crimes become capitol offenses (I like the chinese system in this regard). High level government corruption crimes become capitol offenses. The electoral college is done away with and replaced with a system based entirely on popular vote. Gerrymandering becomes impossible through the abolishment of the counter-populist voting system that allows it.

Stem cell research if fully legitimized, gay marriage is fully legalized, pot is fully illegalized, and the USDA is reformed to be less corrupt and ineffective.

On a case by case basis labor unions are forcibly dissolved or forcibly allowed to form. Same with teachers unions. New performance based standards for k-12 teachers and the protections of tenure are diminished in at the collegiate level.

Relations with Iran are reset and theoretically improved. Relations with Israel are reset and theoretically worsened until they leave Palestinian territory. Hamas is treated as an official governing party for a trial period to test for their ability to reform when not under the oppressive thumb of israel. If they can not then relations with israel will be improved again. Nuclear disarmament will proceed, however our stockpile will not dwindle below the number needed to kill every man women and child on the planet.

I'll think of more later.




:Edit: Also, sean hannity is tied to the nose of the space shuttle and shot into space.

mattyrm wrote:Cheers cheese, clearly your a man of taste.

Sigged. Thanks mattyrm.

ShumaGorath wrote:

:Edit: Also, sean hannity is tied to the nose of the space shuttle and shot into space.

You do realize:
1. You're going to damage the shuttle doing that. I call foul. What did the shuttle ever do to you?
2. Although the rest of him is skeletonized, his hair will be both completely undamaged and unruffled.

Frazzled wrote:

ShumaGorath wrote:

:Edit: Also, sean hannity is tied to the nose of the space shuttle and shot into space.

You do realize:
1. You're going to damage the shuttle doing that. I call foul. What did the shuttle ever do to you?
2. Although the rest of him is skeletonized, his hair will be both completely undamaged and unruffled.

If Hannity damages the space shuttle he will be flogged and then shot.