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 G00fySmiley wrote:
5e orks, game lasted 1 player turn. I won the roll off to go first, 2 SAG, 45 lootas, min gretchin troops and some big guns. i shoot the SAG first turn, double 1's (at the time that meant it explodes and everything in 6 inches was removed from play) roll for the second double 1's again. I lost enough lootas guns and gretchin to force leadership, failed all leadership rolls and my units all ran off the board before my space wolf opponent even go to move a model.

On the one hand it must have sucked, on the other hand, makes a great story.

Casualty wrote:

 G00fySmiley wrote:
5e orks, game lasted 1 player turn. I won the roll off to go first, 2 SAG, 45 lootas, min gretchin troops and some big guns. i shoot the SAG first turn, double 1's (at the time that meant it explodes and everything in 6 inches was removed from play) roll for the second double 1's again. I lost enough lootas guns and gretchin to force leadership, failed all leadership rolls and my units all ran off the board before my space wolf opponent even go to move a model.

On the one hand it must have sucked, on the other hand, makes a great story.

not at all, as a narrative player mostly (i was bringing pure shooty orks vs pure choppy space wolves for a scenario. So the story was these orks blowing up everything with seemign warp entities (the SAG) and the space wolves answered the call to help the planet as they were closest. they show up, find the orks, watch them blow themselves up, have a few pints then head home reporting a victory with zero casualties

FB games okay? Back in 5th ed. High elves vs dark elves. Opponent gets first turn and promptly killed my general. Pretty much entire army failed panic tests and ran off board. Not much point continuing with like 10 archers and RBT left on board.

That one was in 4th Ed, I believe. 13 year old me thought it was an EXCELLENT idea to use about 1000 of my 1500 points on an LRC with a massively geared up captain, master, emperors champion and a full 10 man command squad, armed to the teeth (I know that ECs were not able to join a command squad, honest mistake of mine on that). The rest of my army was two (similarily geared up) crusader squads in razorbacks and, I think, one land speeder. Don't know if I am missing something.
Opponent was playing eldar.

He got first turn and shot up my LRC with his lance weapons (didn't take the anti-lanve-weapon upgrade) and I lost a couple veterans to that. After some plinging on them with a random assortment of weapons he lured the squad via the must-move-after-taking-casualties-special rule he let loose a full squad of dark reapers that had Guide on them (oh, and my death ball of death had Doom on them) and annihilated I believe everything that was left. I remember I lost the captain and chaplain to ID caused by either a lance or eldar rocket launcher. To top it of, he plopped a razorback and immobilized the landspeeder.
I did not give up and charged him with my... about 400 points that were left, but in the end it was hopeless.
Fun game though, opponent was a good friend and a couple others were watching and we had a great time.

4e, 3 turns, about 5 minutes total (not counting set up & some rules explanation). Casualties = Opponent: 0, Me: 100%.

So a brand new CSM player comes into the shop looking for his 2nd or 3rd game ever. My buddy declines the match (he doesn't like playing brand new players). I accept.
But all I have with me are my SW drop pod force wich I intended to play later that evening. I ask if he minds if I use it as-is since it contained FW drop pods & their rules or if he wanted me to rewrite it without the pods. He shrugs & says since he hardly knows anything FW/no FW is all the same to him.

So we set up the board & he deploys. (everything of mine is in pods, so nothing to deploy) I explain the FW pods special rules.
Turn 1:
He goes 1st - other than some minor movement there's nothing to do. I determine wich pods are arriving & plot their courses. He opens fire with everything in range & blows both pods out of the sky. Dead SW reign down.

Turn 2: Exactly the same as turn 1 - only this time I lose 3 pods & all aboard.

Turn 3: Rinse & repeat with my final two pods.

We had a good laugh &, as we were already to go, played a much better 2nd game.

Years ago I opened my army container and my opponent saw my Kroot army. He didn't even bother to get his models out ( all reserve list ) gave up and didn't want to play. Fastest win of my life, lol.

Fantasy Battle again. Undead (me) vs Orcs. I get first turn and fired a couple of screaming skull catapults that after good guesses and scatter, hit a nice portion of his army. The subsequent panic tests made his entire army flee off the table. We just laughed, set up again and had a much better game. C'est la vie.

Bharring wrote:
6E, I think - might have been 7th.

Opponent had a DP of Tzeench, and rolled all the good powers and all the good gifts except for +1t. So a T5 flying DP with 2+ rerollable and tons of wounds.

He had Abadddon and an extremely well-geared squad in a Land Raider - don't remember if it was Chosen or Posessed.

He had a nasty Soul Grinder in cover.

A squad of Noise Marines.

Some other support.

I had a standard demicompany-ish (the style, not the formation) list of UltraMarine descendants - lots of Tacs, bunch of Devs and ASMs, smattering of Rhinos, and some support.

I also had a Chapter Master.

I seize.

Orbital Bombardment scatters, placing it's center in a dead zone - right in the middle of everything. Barely clips the Grinder, Prince, and LandRaider, but fully covers the Noise Marines.

IDs the Prince, before he can start flying

Pens the LandRaider. Expodes it. He rolls straight ones for wounds on the squad (Abby lives, but entire squad dies).

Pens and destroys the Grinder.

Kills most of the Noise Marines.

He now has something like 100-200 points on the board.

He forfeits.

We agree to play again. He puts his models back. I roll to sieze again, and we play another game.

That is priceless. It sounds like a movie and it made me imagine a funnt scene. One blast and one by one the biggest enemy units start exploding and dying instantly. I would have loved to see that in person


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 G00fySmiley wrote:

Casualty wrote:

 G00fySmiley wrote:
5e orks, game lasted 1 player turn. I won the roll off to go first, 2 SAG, 45 lootas, min gretchin troops and some big guns. i shoot the SAG first turn, double 1's (at the time that meant it explodes and everything in 6 inches was removed from play) roll for the second double 1's again. I lost enough lootas guns and gretchin to force leadership, failed all leadership rolls and my units all ran off the board before my space wolf opponent even go to move a model.

On the one hand it must have sucked, on the other hand, makes a great story.

not at all, as a narrative player mostly (i was bringing pure shooty orks vs pure choppy space wolves for a scenario. So the story was these orks blowing up everything with seemign warp entities (the SAG) and the space wolves answered the call to help the planet as they were closest. they show up, find the orks, watch them blow themselves up, have a few pints then head home reporting a victory with zero casualties

Oh yeah. that battle is funny because its something that could and would happen with Orks

The_Real_Chris wrote:
Had one on Monday. Third game, one day doubles tourney.
Objective - Field of Glory
Place one objective at the centre of the battlefield before rolling off; starting with the winner of the roll-off, each player sets up one objective marker in their deployment zone more than 6" from any battlefield edge.
At the end of the fifth battle round, the player who controls the most objective markers wins the game. A player wins immediately if they control all three objective markers at the end of their turn.
Twist - Eager for the fight
Add 2" to the Move characteristic of all models and add 1 to all Advance and Charge rolls.

5 Storm troopers in their Valkyrie took the centre objective with ObSec, allied took the deployment zone one, other valk with 10 storm troopers in flew over and obsec'd the one in the enemy deployment zone. Game over.

Did you say this was a doubles match? Did one player control all three objectives or one team?

BaconCatBug wrote:Not mine, but a classic from I believe 4th edition.

Full story: https://imgur.com/gallery/V0gND

My personal shortest game in 8th was my Kraken Genestealer + Swarmlord army vs a Transport and Jetbike (not Shining Spears) heavy Biel-Tan army which in retrospect might have been a little unfair. Despite his best efforts at tactical deployment, two units of Sanic The Jeanstealers managed to race up his board and get turn 1 charges, at which point he conceded.

Was hoping someone would post this one, it's my absolute favorite and saves me from having to find the link.

BuFFo wrote:Years ago I opened my army container and my opponent saw my Kroot army. He didn't even bother to get his models out ( all reserve list ) gave up and didn't want to play. Fastest win of my life, lol.

This was the same for me in a tourney, but it was a Dark Reaper laded Biel Tan army who saw my case full of Legion of the Damned. This was the time in 3rd Edition before the Cursed Founding list nerfed them into uselessness.

 Inquisitor Lord Katherine wrote:

The Newman wrote:
Not really Pleasestop. Nobody but guard has a transport that lets troops deploy after it moves (see below) and Deep Strike can't happen turn 1 anymore.

...oh right, bailing out of the Valk after it moves is built into the Valkerie. It just sounds like something that ought to cost CP.

Man IG just ignore so many rules meant to reign in cheesy BS.

Orks, Necrons, even Grey Knights could have done that with Da Jump, Veil of Darkness, or Gate of Infinity. Grav Chute Insertion is also limited by the 9" rule, like the other options.

I don't think those other armies can move after arriving outside 9"? The Guardsmen could move as they are just disembarking. - Move, plus the extra D6, both with the mission twist.

Of course even if they couldn't move after grav chuting they still get the move move move order instead of shooting which would have done it this mission.

Was just a deployment error by the opposition that we didn't spot until the movement phase.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Ginjitzu wrote:

Did you say this was a doubles match? Did one player control all three objectives or one team?

It was for one team to control all three. As it transpired I could have have held all three on my own. My team mate said it was the most underwhelming game he ever had.

 BaconCatBug wrote:
Not mine, but a classic from I believe 4th edition.

Full story: https://imgur.com/gallery/V0gND

That thing is definitely from 6th or 7th since edition.

Surprised no one else has told a 3rd edition rhino rush story (maybe I'm getting old

3rd edition - Me playing Blood angels vs a friend that was playing elder -
I went first. All my units were in rhinos, all rhinos raged (extra movement) and turbo-charged (more extra movement). All of my units got in contact with his units. If I wasn't able to assault a unit the following sweeping advance got me in contact with them. Game took longer to set up then it did to play.

 werewolfhunter wrote:
Surprised no one else has told a 3rd edition rhino rush story (maybe I'm getting old

3rd edition - Me playing Blood angels vs a friend that was playing elder -
I went first. All my units were in rhinos, all rhinos raged (extra movement) and turbo-charged (more extra movement). All of my units got in contact with his units. If I wasn't able to assault a unit the following sweeping advance got me in contact with them. Game took longer to set up then it did to play.

Even better than that - there was a 3rd edition mission that required you to move units off the table via your opponent's deployment zone (Breakthrough possibly?) Unfortunately the speedy BA Rhinos could do it in the first turn. It could lead to a game lasting all of 30 seconds once set-up was done.

As I only game at the moment with my best mate (due to lack of anyone in my area playing 40k) and because he chain smokes, and has to take a break every 30 or so minutes, our games tend to go on for hours, sometimes as much as 5 hours!

Having said that, we had a very short one a couple of weeks ago, the last in a 4 loss streak for my best mate. We've not played since by mutual agreement as we're going back to playing Warhammer Quest 1995 for "a change of scenery".

I was Dark Angles, he was Tau, the mission was Patrol, with 1500pts each on the table.

By turn 2 the game was pretty much over, with a total annihilation by turn 4!!

I basically pinned him in his corner of the table and he couldn't bring anything on that had any effect! I lost 0 squads so he didn't even get any victory points!

5th edition orks in 7th, vs a Space Marine list with the ultimate jump-infantry smashhammer deathstar with all the trimmings (vanguard veterans?). I hadn't anticipated doing well.

I went first, scout moved deffkoptas and shot rokkits at the thunderfire cannon, who got no saves due to the angle I got, and it died. nothing else died.
he went second, moved up and failed a 3" charge with his veterans. He then, surprisingly, conceded.

So result was 1 game turn, a single dead model, and a disappointed ork player. It was either 1750 or 2k points.

 Jidmah wrote:

 BaconCatBug wrote:
Not mine, but a classic from I believe 4th edition.

Full story: https://imgur.com/gallery/V0gND

That thing is definitely from 6th or 7th since edition.

Earliest sighting of that image on Google is in October 2008, so smack bang at the start of 5th ed.

1500 point game against Tau with my Primaris. Two riptides and the bigger suit with a couple of fire warriors. Nearly tabled me turn 1 and then my turn 1 shooting phase was so bad I conceded with a laugh of how bad that was.

Back in 6th ed I was running the Flying Tyrant circus. I played against a Eldar player who was heavily invested in a big unit of bikes + characters that relied on invisibility to protect itself. His turn he moved, failed to get off the power, killed a unit of Venomthropes. My turn I moved my six Tyrants, shot his entire unit off the board, and he conceded. Entire game took maybe 10 minutes.

Around that time I frequently played a local DE player, who ran Venom spam. Those games effectively boiled down to who got first turn. If I could get my Tyrants the air I could do enough damage to swing it to me, and would win in 2-3 turns. If he got to shoot at them on the ground he would cripple me, and he would win in 2-3 turns. We got to the point were when we got matched up in events we would roll first turn, roll seize, and call the game.

Around the end of 4th edition, 1500p game against my friend using his cheesy word bearers list. He was the best player in our group. The game lasted about 25 minutes, I phased out on his second turn, having done almost no damage in return

From memory as this was 11 years ago, he had two Defilers, Obliterators, Chosen, Termies, standard marines and the dreaded Daemonette bomb.

 werewolfhunter wrote:
Surprised no one else has told a 3rd edition rhino rush story (maybe I'm getting old

3rd edition - Me playing Blood angels vs a friend that was playing elder -
I went first. All my units were in rhinos, all rhinos raged (extra movement) and turbo-charged (more extra movement). All of my units got in contact with his units. If I wasn't able to assault a unit the following sweeping advance got me in contact with them. Game took longer to set up then it did to play.

My version is the opposite of that. I was opposing a BA Rhino rush army and, going first, I blew up every Rhino and knocked out a bunch of Jump Pack Death Company. Foreseeing the rest of the game as becoming a one-sided turkey shoot, my opponent conceded.

 Grimtuff wrote:

 Jidmah wrote:

 BaconCatBug wrote:
Not mine, but a classic from I believe 4th edition.

Full story: https://imgur.com/gallery/V0gND

That thing is definitely from 6th or 7th since edition.

Earliest sighting of that image on Google is in October 2008, so smack bang at the start of 5th ed.

In 5th putting everything in reserves meant auto-losing the game, as you would only start rolling 4+ for each of your units starting turn 2. In addition, White Scars could outflank, meaning he would be able to just appear on the board anyways.

Last, but not last, why on earth would you hide from tau in fifth edition? Not to mention that none of what's described in that imgur matches 5th edition.

8th edition. Before Deep Strike was limited to T2.

We play the Messenger Open War Mission (I think that's what it's called) where you select one model to carry something really important, and if you kill them, game.

I have a Nurgle Daemon force with some allied Nurgle CSM, notably Obliterators. Epidemius, surrounded by Cultists and Nurglings, is my Courier.

His Courier is a random Kabalite Sergeant.

I win the roll-off to go first.

I Deep Strike three squads of Obliterators near his Raider with the Courier. I blow it up with the first volley.

The only thing between me and victory is 5 T3 5+/6+++ bodies. And I have 6 Obliterators left to shoot.

He concedes.

My shortest 40K game was probably 6th edition when I started playing again. I brought a fluffy black legion army to the table with a land raider, terminators, close combat weapons and everything. He brought a tournament level tau army with inquisition allies. I think he tabled me by turn two and killed my chaos marines by charging me in assault with his riptides...very embarrassing.

Needless to say I hate competitive 40K

My shortest fantasy game was 6th edition Dark Elves vs Skaven. First turn his Screaming Bell goes off, causes all cavalry to panic. My giant unit of Cold one Knights with my Lord and Battle Standard bearer fail leadership, panic and run off the board before I even had a chance to move. The rest of the game he just mopped up my army with rattling guns and warp fire throwers.

 Jidmah wrote:

In 5th putting everything in reserves meant auto-losing the game, as you would only start rolling 4+ for each of your units starting turn 2.

5th edition didn't have the rule that lost you the game if you had nothing on the table at the end of a turn. It was perfectly valid, and a very, very common strategy, to keep everything in reserve.

IIRC, though, that game was late 4th edition, and it was controversial at the time due to the lack of any rules covering what should have actually happened in that situation.



For the topic, not my game but a friends' - 4th edition, him playing tank-heavy Guard vs Dark Eldar. The Dark Eldar player chose to keep everything in reserve to come through his webway portal, putting only his board-riding, portal-carrying lord on the table. In that incarnation, if the Reserves rule wasn't included in the mission, Dark Eldar in reserve died if their portal was destroyed before they arrived.

First turn goes to the guard player. Battle cannon from the first Leman Russ takes out the DE lord. Game over.

7th edition, round 2 of a 3 round RTT. I'm running Tau with a Riptide Wing and some other stuff, my opponent is running a Necron Decurion including a big nasty deathstar with Lychguard and a bunch of characters that can kill almost anything they can catch and with their 4+ Reanimation Protocols (that can't get reduced even by D-weapons thanks to stacking +1s from relics and stuff). I go first, do some shooting, by some miracle I manage to drop one of the Lychguard and some Warriors in another unit. My opponent's turn comes, and he uses whatever relic it is that lets his deathstar basically go into reserves and Deep Strike (like the old Gate of Infiinity power from Grey Knights). He chooses to drop them right behind my Riptides. He rolls for scatter, gets an 11 and the arrow points straight toward the edge of the board, so he mishaps. Proceeds to then roll a 1, meaning that the entire 800+ point works is just dead. Gone. Finished. He immediately concedes the game. Our group still picks on him about that game to this day.

In I think 5th I was playing my Deathwing against my buddies Tau. He 1 shot my land raider with terminators in it turn 1 with his hammerhead railgun. I basically just conceded right there.

2nd edition, orks vs Tyranids (before the codexes were released). Tyranid player uses Virus Outbreak strategy card, by the time its effect is resolved, I've only got one Goff Boy remaining out of 1,500 points. We didn't bother rolling for 1st turn ...

Start of 8th edition 2000 points Eldar vs Grey Knights, I got the first turn and tabled him before his turn 3. This took less than half an hour as by his turn one he had lost over half of his army. Our friends who started at the same time as us hadn't even finished deployment in their orks vs nids game.

 AndrewGPaul wrote:
2nd edition, orks vs Tyranids (before the codexes were released). Tyranid player uses Virus Outbreak strategy card, by the time its effect is resolved, I've only got one Goff Boy remaining out of 1,500 points. We didn't bother rolling for 1st turn ...

Heh... the one and only time the Virus Outbreak card got played at my club (before being removed from everyone's decks) was against an Ork army as well... I think in that one, the guy wound up with about 6 models left. The only reason that doesn't qualify as the shortest game ever is that it took so long to resolve