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Me and my friends are making some HH raps. Most of it is really stupid, but some of it is kinda funny. Anyway, this is Who we have so far:

Lorgar
Lion vs Mortarion
Fulgrim vs Manus
Perturabo vs Dorn
Khan vs Alpharius
Angron vs Vulkan
Russ vs Magnus
Sanguinius vs Horus
The Emperor
Rowboat shows up at very end.

So far we have Lorgar-Fulgrim.

Lorgar: Our Emperor who art on Terra
Sent the smurfs of Rawbutt from the Palace of Herra
My city is burning and everyone is in terror
While you were playing idiot ball you made a grave error
I've gone to the so called "place where gods meet"
I look into the eye and I like what I see
You left me with your hounds led by Valdor
Right after I smacked that little bitch Malcador

Lion: I'm the Lion and I got a secret
I'm gonna beat your ass and have no regret
I wrecked my own legions gak and came out on top
I'll play target practice with your boils see how many I can pop
You're disgusting you look, sound, and smell awful
You're not just a pussy you're Nurgles blue waffle
I've heard about your plauge marines and their blight grenades
And if it wasn't for the progenoids I'd be scared of AIDS

Mortarion: Bitch you better be scared of these raps
Because you know my legion's gon be bustin caps
You gotta watch out for a little snitch
Cause one wrong move could wreck your image bitch
Your name is the Lion but we all know you're just a tabby
And it looks like spending that much time in the rock has made you flabby
You were always daddy's favorite daughter
But now is the time to prepare your legion for slaughter

Fulgrim: Mirror Mirror on the wall
I already know whose the sexiest of them all
I'm the Phonecian and you dont have a chance
Now I'm rollin with Slaneesh y'all are crappin your pants
(As a Daemon) Your little boy Fulgrim is dead and gone
Now I'm taking over and you won't be able to carry on
If you thought he was a bad bitch prepare to be amazed
Or you could roll with Slaneesh and we could all get blazed

And that's all we have so far. So C&C, ideas for the remaining parts, etc?
And if you want to submit your own that is great, make it four sets of two lines each, and the two lines have to rhyme. Other then that go wild, we don't care about time-line accuracy, so if you want to make fun of Dorn for the soul drinkers, go right ahead

These are pretty funny...
I'll see if i can come up with some of my own...
IMO the Lion's rap is in a New York accent (The stereotypical one of course) and i'm not sure why...

Magnus: Take a look at Lexicanum im a giant of mental stature
You're just a mental slave to a faux-omniscient master
1000 sons to carry on my name
The winds of change shall avenge Propero's dying flame

* Spur of the moment, will add some later

This just reaffirms that rap is just not my thing.

Thanks for the feedback. And nice one for Magnus. We have a format if anyone wants to submit a rap. I will put it in the OP soon


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Posting rules are at the end of the first post, go nuts

And we will update this as we get new ones done, having particular trouble with Manus, so if anyone has anything good for him feel free to post it

I'll do my own riff on Magnus vs Russ, just gimme a few minutes to iron it out.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Russ:
Mighty Russ here from the frozen lands of F-town
Here to stamp out a traitor that needs a put-down
They send in the dogs to deliver a common crook,
They send in the wolves for a wannabe x-men with a book!

Your time is come brother, your deathknell has been given
Now I'll crush you, drive you 'n hear the lamentation of your women,
Me and my home dawgs will hunt you to til you see your error
Even if we have to follow you into the Eye of Terror

Forget the Emp, you're better off callin' mum
Cuz this is an assault that you'll never see come
Better grow another eye in your freaky psyker head,
Cuz when I'm through with you they'll call you Magnus the Dead!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Magnus:
My my, look what at the little barbarian dealing death
If only we could all strike down foes with our breath
I've only got one eye, but even I can see
There is no contest in a battle 'tween you and me.

You're a furry freak, I can smell it with a whiff
And you have yourself a pack of wolves just so you can yiff!
What's your strength worth, I have the warp at my command
So bend over , I'll issue you a personal reprimand

I'll smite your packs with just a thought, turn them into ash
Thousand Sons will squash you in a flash!
So tuck your tail between your legs and run off back to dad
You're all washed up, 'n werewolves are a passing fad.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HERESY!!!!
Sorry it had to be done hehe awesome idea squig, once again you made me chuckle

Andilus Greatsword wrote:I'll do my own riff on Magnus vs Russ, just gimme a few minutes to iron it out.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Russ:
Mighty Russ here from the frozen lands of F-town
Here to stamp out a traitor that needs a put-down
They send in the dogs to deliver a common crook,
They send in the wolves for a wannabe x-men with a book!

Your time is come brother, your deathknell has been given
Now I'll crush you, drive you 'n hear the lamentation of your women,
Me and my home dawgs will hunt you to til you see your error
Even if we have to follow you into the Eye of Terror

Forget the Emp, you're better off callin' mum
Cuz this is an assault that you'll never see come
Better grow another eye in your freaky psyker head,
Cuz when I'm through with you they'll call you Magnus the Dead!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Magnus:
My my, look what at the little barbarian dealing death
If only we could all strike down foes with our breath
I've only got one eye, but even I can see
There is no contest in a battle 'tween you and me.

You're a furry freak, I can smell it with a whiff
And you have yourself a pack of wolves just so you can yiff!
What's your strength worth, I have the warp at my command
So bend over , I'll issue you a personal reprimand

I'll smite your packs with just a thought, turn them into ash
Thousand Sons will squash you in a flash!
So tuck your tail between your legs and run off back to dad
You're all washed up, 'n werewolves are a passing fad.

That is brilliant :slowclapinitiated:


Automatically Appended Next Post:

The Son Of Russ wrote:EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HERESY!!!!
Sorry it had to be done hehe awesome idea squig, once again you made me chuckle

Hahaha, thank you Son of Russ, and that is a great idea

Epic Rap Battles of Heresy is a great title for this I might actually make a video of Russ vs Magnus, and I found a great celtic-style beat for it:

YEAH i did good?

The Son Of Russ wrote:YEAH i did good?

Why yes, yes you did

SCHWEET. I am not very good at writing up raps, so i aint even gonna try. But i can help give ideas and stuff if needs be

I'm sure we will need ideas soon

To the Original Poster: The Fulgrim one was awesome (the best in my opinion) well done on the whole!

Thanks, you can credit my friend, Crystal Geyser is his Dakka name, for that one

Andilus Greatsword wrote:I'll do my own riff on Magnus vs Russ, just gimme a few minutes to iron it out.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Russ:
Mighty Russ here from the frozen lands of F-town
Here to stamp out a traitor that needs a put-down
They send in the dogs to deliver a common crook,
They send in the wolves for a wannabe x-men with a book!

Your time is come brother, your deathknell has been given
Now I'll crush you, drive you 'n hear the lamentation of your women,
Me and my home dawgs will hunt you to til you see your error
Even if we have to follow you into the Eye of Terror

Forget the Emp, you're better off callin' mum
Cuz this is an assault that you'll never see come
Better grow another eye in your freaky psyker head,
Cuz when I'm through with you they'll call you Magnus the Dead!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Magnus:
My my, look what at the little barbarian dealing death
If only we could all strike down foes with our breath
I've only got one eye, but even I can see
There is no contest in a battle 'tween you and me.

You're a furry freak, I can smell it with a whiff
And you have yourself a pack of wolves just so you can yiff!
What's your strength worth, I have the warp at my command
So bend over , I'll issue you a personal reprimand

I'll smite your packs with just a thought, turn them into ash
Thousand Sons will squash you in a flash!
So tuck your tail between your legs and run off back to dad
You're all washed up, 'n werewolves are a passing fad.

In true Rap Battle fashion, I've thought up the rebuttals:

Russ:
This is a day you'll remember, take a long hard look
I'm gonna rape all your people and burn all your books,
We're the Space Wolves we never give an inch
So go run off to the Chaos Gods, pledge your soul to Tzeench

Magnus:
You're weak, in our litter you're the runt
I'm like a quarterback, I'll ditch you with a punt
Your barbarian brain can't comprehend my power
So howl while you can, this is Magnus' finest hour!

WHO WON? WHOSE NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EEEEEEPPPPPPPPIIIIIICCCCC RAP BATTLES OF HERESY

Fulgrim vs Manus!

We are working on Manus right now, but its really hard becaause none of us know much about the Iron Hands

Horus to Sangunius:

You think your bishonen ass can stand up to me?
Just cuz you have a fancy set of angel wings?
I'm through with the Emperor's gak,
You know what, feth it!
I'll tear off your fluffy chicken wings,
and eat them out of a KFC bucket!

Sanguinius to Horus:

So you've turned to chaos...Upsetting

OR IT WOULD BE IF I CARED BOUT YOUR BLOODLETTING
I'm the Emperors Golden boy
Your a 2-bit god's sex toy
I can rap on the ground or I can take to the sky
You're just jealous of my wings because they're lookin so fly
I'm a flying rap master
I'll kill you with a blaster
Scratch that you might come back like Eastwood to the hood
So I'll take that stupid eye on your chest
And hit it so hard you go into cardiac arrest
But the torture won't stop there
I'll whip you with my hair
I got locks of gold and my raps are icy
So don't catch a cold with Nurgle things are dicey