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HEADQUARTERS:

Calgar, armor of Antilochus, 285
Mordaci Blaylock, 185

ELITES

Assault termies (x5), 3x TH/SS, 215 (scoring)
LRC dedicated transport, MM, storm bolter, 265
Terminators (x5), HF, 210 (scoring)

TROOPS

Tacticals (x5), PG, combi-plasma, rhino, 130
Tacticals (x5), MG, combi-melta, rhino, 125
Scouts (x5), 2 shotguns, 3 CCWs, 75
LSS dedicated transport, HF, 45

FAST-ATTACK

Stormtalon, sky hammer ML, 125

HEAVY-SUPPORT

Devastators (x5), 2x LCs, 2x Flakk missiles, 240
TFC, 100

2000pts on the dot. I'm thinking of Calgar + assault termies in LRC for a forward push supported by the 2 rhinos. The termies + Mordaci can come down on Calgar's beacon and roast something upon arrival. Combat-squad the devs for AA and anti-armor. Stormtalon for extra fire support and AA. And scouts for late game objectives.
This is meant as a fun army to have scoring termies (I've played DW many times, just trying something different). I don't imagine winning tournaments but I think it can still give some armies a run for their money.

Thoughts?

I get what you're trying to do man; but there are more effective ways to run a top heavy, herohammer/deathstar style army as marines. You could take Calgar, Tiggy and stick them in with 6 grav centurions; rolling for gate. You could take multiple chapter masters and still raider rush with them; or half calgar, half beatstick, each in their own raider. Here's the thing, as it stands you're begging to be intercepted by an Ion Accelerator template...or two...or 3...with some Broadsides to boot.

If you want to just meta bust these power gamers but not be hated on in friendly games, how about making the most of calgar with plain old marine spam? At 2k you can fit 60 marines in rhinos plus calgar with a bunch of honor guard in a raider.

True, my "competitive" UM build includes Calgar and a bunch of power-armoured marines but here I just wanted a scoring terminator army that's not DW.
I could drop Calgar in favor of Tigurius to free up some points; I just love Calgar as an overall army-multiplier.
Or lose the 2nd HQ altogether and just take Mordaci.

Thanks for the feedback.