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I really enjoy Warhammer 40,000 and I would love to one day play a game. Yet, despite painting my first models over 10 years ago, I've never played a single game. Why not? The simple answer is body odour.

Today I experienced a prime example of why I may never play a game of 40K...

I'm married and my wife is very gracious about my hobby. So gracious in fact that she even accompanied me to my local hobby store to collect the latest issue of White Dwarf. It wasn't long, however, before I realised that my beautiful wife's sacrificial nature was about to face its biggest challenge.

We approached the hobby shop and were confronted by a teaming horde of boys and men who occupied at least two thirds of the undersized store. They moved about their boards, zombie-like, fixated on the game and oblivious to other customers trying to access the store. Occasionally, the game would require them to move in such a way that a fleeting gap would appear. Our challenge was to dart through that slim opening without knocking the boxed sets of miniatures from the shelves that lined the walls.

This, however, wasn't the limit of our trial. Our biggest threat wasn't the movement patterns of the self-serving gamers. Our greatest torment was the odours that they collectively produced. The smell that filled this hobby shop could only be the results of a conscious effort to avoid soap, water, deodorant, and a washing machine for at least a month. My eyes watered and my thought processes diminished. I was dazed and confused.

I have never experienced so much trouble gaining a copy of White Dwarf as I did today. Worst of all, my wife has been subjected to this torment.
That is why I will likely never play a game of Warhammer 40,000

I don't quite get the connection between the apparent behaviour of several humans and your resolution never to play 40k.

I really hope you never play Magic either then! They're worse.


He's got an 8-post count, Shandara-enjoy the trolling til the mods kill the page.

Try joining a gaming club. Both me and my wife hated playing in stores for the exact same reason you stated: especially 40k is crowded by teenagers with severely lacking hygiene "skills".

We looked for a gaming club, found, joined one and worked on improving the club. As of today, the club has over 50 members and we're in close connection to two other clubs, regularly hosting tournaments with a competitive ruleset - both for 40k and WHFB. Managing it cerrtainly is a task you gotta invest time into but it really pays off. We play in an apartment rented solely for the club which is paid by the members.

The average age of our club members is 31 years, with our oldest member being 72 (!) and the youngest one 19. It's a really mature and relaxed atmosphere and we've yet to run into bigger problems.

Long story short: never go into GW stores. Try to find a gaming club with an own place or play at one's house.

Better luck next time