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Mug'Krusha and Spud, a thought on ork genetics and reproduction  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
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Made in us
Nasty Nob





United States

This story begins in the middle of a hot, dusty, desert wasteland. A small ork battleforce of trukkz is recklessly driving over dunes, through light vegetation toward an oasis. Spewing exhaust and automatic weaponfire, a seemingly endless stream of brass, dust, and smoke, lay in their wake. Cut to Mug'Krusha, hanging on the upright exhaust pipe of trukk with his klaw, leaning out around the cab to peak at an Imperial outpost with his binokular. Spud, his grot, is helping feed bullets to the Big Shoota that an Ork Boy is firing on top of the cab. Mug'Krusha turns to his boyz and shouts "Dey dun see us and we'z almos dere! Git ready for the Waaagh!". Mug'Krusha pulls spud off the trukk cab and tells Spud that it's time to 'lighten the load'. While you would think Mug'Krusha got his name by having a power klaw and crushing heads, he instead has it because he carries a large keg of drink on every trip and he uses his klaw to puncture it and then drinks his share and passes it around to his boyz. All this has become a sort of ritual for Nob Mug'Krusha and his boyz, a ritual that never really seems to bring any kind of luck or anything really resembling success in battle.

A flare goes up from one of the Ork trukkz and Mug'Krusha can be heard screaming "Dat's it, Oy turn da gun aroun ya git we'z need to go fasta!". Mug'Krusha's obedient boy on the gun almost happily turns the gun in the opposite direction the trukk is going and starts firing the weapon direction. As if by magic, the vehicle started going fasta, even passing the Warboss's sweet red ride. The Warboss's boyz didn't take to kindly to this shame, and turned their slugga's on Mug'Krusha's trukk which lead to a retaliation and before you know it, the orkz were shooting one another while speeding to the fight. Mug'Krusha picked up his empty keg and threw at the Warboss's trukk, striking a tire, and somehow causing an explosion which sent the Warboss's trukk Kareening into another Ork trukk. By this time, even the gunner boy in Mug'Krusha's trukk had stopped firing his weapon, stuck in awe at the amazing throw. Mug'Krusha broke the silent with 'We'z first, we'z da best!'. And, just behind the celebration on Mug'Krusha's trukk, Spud can be heard yelling 'INCOMING!'. Mug'Krusha turns just in time to see an imperial rocket striking the front of the cab. Everyone is ejected, and the last thing Mug'Krusha remembers is flying at breakneck speed through the air with his boyz into a sand dune.

Hours pass, and Mug'Krusha comes to his senses buried by dirt and sand. For hours he yells for his gitz, Spud, or anyone, to let him up out of the ground. An hour or two later passes, and a voice answers "were are ya!". Mug'Krusha says "Iz me, Mug'Krusha, ov 'ere". There is a pause, and the voice responds "Wat you mean ya git!?! I iz Mug'Krusha, now come get me up!".
"No I am Mug'Krusha, and wen I'z git up I am gonna show you who iz the real Mug'Krusha!" Mug'Krusha responds
"No I am gonna show you!" The voice responds.
This continues for almost another hour, Mug'krusha threatens the voice, demands help, and the voice does the same. And suddenly a third voice chimes in,
"I don't know what either of you gitz is goin on about, but I am Mug'Krusha!!"
And to this all three voices become loud and violent, who could be the real Mug'Krusha? And why is everyone trying to pretend to be Mug'Krusha also stuck?.

Finally, Mug'Krusha sees a light, and his grot, Spud, has dug him out of the ground and freed him from his orkish gestation pod where he unknowingly grew. He looks around and says in a rage "ere are dem over two!!" Spud points to the ground next to him, without thought, Mug'Krusha stomps up and down, laughing to the screams and demands of the other two orkz claiming to be Mug'Krusha just under the dirt, until there was silence. Mug'Krusha looked to his grot "Wer are my tings! Did sum git rob me while I was sleep!" Spud gestured to a corpse stuck halfway in the ground next to were Mug'Krusha awoke. "Dis git stole my fings?" He ripped the corpse up from the dirt and started looting his former body of it's possessions including a surgically placed jaw enhancement, which Mug'Krusha would have to have a painboy do surgery to replace. A noise could be heard in the distance, the Warboss was calling for another go at camp. Mug'Krusha gathered a couple boyz, and instructed a mekboy to start making a transport from the wreckage nearby. It seems Mug'Krusha's ritual had, unknowingly, lead to the demise of his unit, and he would be reborn to rejoin the Waaagh! and make the same mistake again.

Edit, is this kinda how it works for orkz? Die, reborn with all your thoughts and past, krump your impersonating neighbor then go rejoin the waaagh!? have I figured it out yet?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/06/22 07:35:57


I am the kinda ork that takes his own washing machine apart, puts new bearings in it, then puts it back together, and it still works. 
   
Made in gb
Growlin' Guntrukk Driver with Killacannon





Scotland, but nowhere near my rulebook

No. It isn't. Orks don't reincarnate with their memories intact, it's just that their souls don't dissipate in the warp or get devoured by Daemons because they join Gork (or Mork)

But it's a really rather cool story!
   
 
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