My intention with these early battles (above just testing the basic functionality of this virtual tabletop system) is to teach new players the basics of play.
As such, I supplied everyone with a single image "menu" of 17 units instead of a proper army list.
This makes things much simpler for beginners. However the resulting armies aren't remotely lore-friendly.
First we've got a brand new player AcidicIV with his army that I'll call "The Carolina Argonauts"
On the other side we have Dracula, a long-time
40k lore buff and meme-enjoyer.
He fights for the glory of West Prussia.
This auto-roster program helps generate a force and reach the fighting quickly.
The procedural terrain generator we use normally would not make such a flat map.
But both players requested an open space for their all-vehicle armies.
What followed was a strange crossover between Jason and the Argonauts and a Mad Max film.
Drac won the first turn and fanned out his tanks and battlewagons in a V formation.
Meanwhile his mascot character Cornholio put the pedal to the metal on his Scorcher.
One of the Genestealer Cult limosines filled with skeletons got destroyed by a Leman Russ lascannon.
Acid's surviving vehicles all rushed forward straight towards the offending tank.
[The Leman Russ, of course, didn't exist in 1st Edition. I've thrown in various 2nd Ed Datafax vehicles. They are competitively priced with late term 1st Ed vehicles like those found in the Vehicle Manual]
At first I had a bit of a caveman moment reading the old school turning rules.
But not to be overcome, I quickly found that making a disc of variable size helped as a straightforward visual aid / virtual protractor.
Turn 2
Corholio screamed forward and sprayed flame over Acid's Speed Freeks.
While open-topped vehicles give the occupants plenty of fresh air and good visibility, they aren't all they're cracked up to be at a time like this.
As it was, Drac rolled a 23 out of a possible 24" range.
Fire roiled over the battlewagons cooking most of the occupants and sending the middle wagon out of control.
When Acid's turn came around he had certainly learned to prioritize this menace.
His surviving Orks shot Cornholio's vehicle but the bolts bounced off its track.
Channeling his inner John Rambo, Acid sacrificed one of his skeleton limos in a ramming attack.
The rules for "vanilla" vehicles (pre-Vehicle Manual) increased damage per every 5 inches of combined speed in a crash.
In this case the total was 44" of velocity for a combined total of 9D4 wounds on the limo, while the Scorcher (which had seperate crash rules) practically disintegrated in its own right.
Noble Cornholio and his mates were of course killed instantly, various crippling effects were stacked on the vehicle's drive systems.
Lastly, the special Scorcher fuel tank began to leak with the possibility of exploding each turn.
By this time one limo and one battlewagon had gone out of control and were moving in random directions at random speeds.
However they'd not headed anywhere problematic so Acid didn't bother to dismount.
Turn 3
...although perhaps he should have.
In a remarkable comedy of errors, turn 3 saw both out of control vehicles turn toward the wreckage of the limo and scorcher.
The battlewagon plowed into the pileup first, followed by the limo crashing into them all.
Not gonna lie, even with all the tools we've been making to speed this process up, it got fairly tedious dealing out all the damage results.
The Speed Freek Kaptin survived his own crash only to die when the limo joined the fun.
Only the Undead Hero leading the skeletons walked away miraculously intact.
Drac's Russ's continued to pound away at the undamaged battlewagons, focusing entirely on their respective front wheels.
The result spun them both around and left Acid with no more transportation to call his own and a long hike to the nearest bus station.
As the Grim Reapers exited their defunct vehicles they formed up a line to regain unit coherency.
Turn 4
Undead never give up, never lose concentration.
Not that it made any difference as battlecannons and boltguns cut them to pieces as they loped in vain across the open.
Last to be destroyed was the Undead Hero when his Ork-issued Kustom Force Field overloaded and blew him up.
The banner of West Prussia flies proudly over a scene of utter carnage.
It was Acid's first battle and many new players (and this holds true up to 9th Ed / 30k I'm sure) underestimate the importance of having solid tank-busting elements in one's force.
Only the unit Drac sent on a clear suicide rush became a casualty on his side.
He linked this image of the British officer from The Patriot to describe how he felt about the battle.
All things considered, it was a really entertaining little match.
Anyone is welcome to join us in the future.
Players can drop in-drop out freely.
Thanks for taking the time to read this battle report.
