Australia continues to horrify the world

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**Desubot**

So everything gains infiltrate and instant death right?

**Talizvar**

Desubot wrote:
So everything gains infiltrate and instant death right?

Poison, deep strike, fear, stubborn, character model, preferred enemy, relentless... so much springs to mind.

**LordofHats**

Codex: Australian Wildlife contains a new army wide rule;

All the NOPE

At the beginning of each opponents turn they roll one D6 for each unit in your army. Resolve after making all rolls. Use the following table to calculate results;

1-2; Game Over Man, Game Over! Hope is lost and that gun looks awfully friendly. Your opponent applies one wound to each non-vehicle unit, and one glancing hit to each vehicle unit.

3-4; All my NOPE! Hope is lost. Your opponent rolls a leadership test for all units. Any unit that fails flees the field.

5-6; Come at me bro! Hope is lost but hope is overrated anyway. All units in your opponents army may add D3 wounds to all ranged and melee attacks.

Obviously I missed my true calling as a rules writer for table top war games

**RiTides**

To all our Australian Dakkanauts... we salute you.

**Frazzled**

Drone coverage of Australia's wildlife following behind surfer's to ensure their safety.
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Drone-video-shows-shark-going-after-two-surfers-10963700.php

**SagesStone**

Sharks aren't bad, it's the jellyfish.

**Frazzled**

n0t_u wrote:
Sharks aren't bad, it's the jellyfish.

Oh yea, jellyfish, the floating owies of the ocean world.

**SagesStone**

They're the swimming equivalent of Florida man standing his ground.

**Frazzled**

I really liked the bits with dolphins actually, It looked like some were body surfing for a bit.

Yea, thats trippy though. And its not like GWs won't attack surfers there...

**Nevelon**

Frazzled wrote:
And its not like GWs won't attack surfers there...

We all know how GW feels about Australia, and not just the surfers

(I assume you mean "Great Whites", but the mouseover was just funny in context)

**Frazzled**

Nevelon wrote:
Frazzled wrote:
And its not like GWs won't attack surfers there...

We all know how GW feels about Australia, and not just the surfers

(I assume you mean "Great Whites", but the mouseover was just funny in context)

HAHAHAHA

**chromedog**

http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/crowd-in-byron-bay-stunned-to-see-a-python-devour-a-possum-whole/news-story/f112f6083ddd7fd08d49bd825de46bc8?nk=22793a98d3e78147593e8c2081d2be41-1488367002

Python devours possum whole.

Ringtail possums aren't small. They're usually about the size of a large cat.

**AllSeeingSkink**

chromedog wrote:
http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/crowd-in-byron-bay-stunned-to-see-a-python-devour-a-possum-whole/news-story/f112f6083ddd7fd08d49bd825de46bc8?nk=22793a98d3e78147593e8c2081d2be41-1488367002

Python devours possum whole.

Ringtail possums aren't small. They're usually about the size of a large cat.

Ringtail possums are the small ones, I'd say smaller than your average adult house cat. It's the brushtail possums that are fat buggers that are more like large adult cat size.

Ringies are the cute little guys. When it sounds like an elephant stomping on your roof, that's more than likely a brushy rather than a ringy.

EDIT: Though the ringtail in those pics does look exceptionally large.

**Frazzled**

And Indonesia decides to throw its hat into the ring:
http://www.wxyz.com/news/national/missing-man-found-in-the-stomach-of-20-foot-long-snake

(warning video, yea video)

A man who went missing in Indonesia earlier this week was near his own garden — inside the stomach of a 20-foot long snake.

Photo Gallery: 5 largest types of snakes

The Straits Times —an English-speaking newspaper in Singapore — reports that Akbar Salubiro was last seen on Sunday morning when he went off to harvest palm oil. After he didn’t return home that evening, a search party was formed.

On Monday, those searching for Akbar found the giant snake lying dead just feet from Akbar’s house. According to the Times, Akbar’s boots were clearly visible in the snake’s stomach. Villagers used a knife to cut open the snake and remove the corpse.

Village secretary Salubiro Junaidi told Tribun Timur, a local media outlet, that cries for help could be heard from the palm grove at about 1 p.m. on Sunday afternoon.

It's assumed the python choked Akbar to death, and the python then choked while attempting to swallow Akbar. It's common for pythons to choke on large animals they attempt to eat.

**Grey Templar**

sebster wrote:

I normally roll my eyes at the 'australian wildlife is so dangerous' stuff, because it's pretty silly. I mean, it's kind of amazing that America, which is a country with bears and rattlesnakes and stuff like that would be afraid of stuff here.

Rattlesnakes are complete gentlemen. They give fair warning before they bite you. Bears also tend to GTFO when they hear or smell a human approaching.

I've seen stories of a human minding his own business jogging when a Kangaroo blindsides and roughs him up.

**Frazzled**

I had a rattlesnake come out of the grass coming right for me and TBone. unfortunately the snake failed to see the Angel of Death in the form of Rodney the shanker who grabbed him on the run and then literally ate him without breaking his stride. The little fatty has learned to run to the end of his leash when he grabs something or else he's going to be dangling upside down while I try to get him to let it go terrified he's going to die from whatever it is still sticking out of his face. You haven't lived until you're pried part of a dead squirrel out of a dog's mouth spraying dead zombie like crap all over you.

**chromedog**

http://www.news.com.au/technology/science/animals/bull-shark-found-washed-up-after-devastation-of-cyclone-debbie/news-story/3d7acdb9ab07257b1f2cd632a110aa3d

**Desubot**

Oh god you have land sharks now?

**KommissarKiln**

I always figured** Australia and Catachan were the same thing. There's probably someone who lives down under named Straken who lost an arm to one of its siblings.

I really don't want to vacation anywhere where there could be tiger fish, sharks, or jellyfish in the water... I'd pee myself if one of those things made it into the Great Lakes area.

**sig

**chromedog**

It's a bull shark.

One of the rare types that can handle fresh water (most sharks are ONLY neutrally buoyant in salt water, bull sharks can do this in fresh, brackish or salt water.)

It's not uncommon to find them in rivers here, usually closer to the mouth of the rivers, but they will swim upstream. This was deposited by floodwaters.

@KK: If your "great lakes" connect to the sea, then they could very likely make their way in (but I think that that area might be too cold for them).

**Grey Templar**

Bull Sharks can actually be found in almost any river system. Including those in the US. Especially Florida.

**BigWaaagh**

It's been too long since an addition to this classic thread, so here ya go!

http://www.msn.com/en-us/video/newsvideos/crocodile-spotted-eating-sawfish-because-australia/vi-BBzLYra?ocid=ASUDHP

**chromedog**

http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2017/04/new-spider-species-found-in-queensland

Just to reinforce the "nope train to nopeville" vibes.

The diversity of arachnids in the area was “mind-blowing”, said Robert. The specimens collected range from small ant-mimicking spiders the size of a fingernail, to huge tarantulas as big as your face, and with “legs the diameter of a biro”.

**Azreal13**

Extra nope with nope on the side please..

It was at night and waist-deep in a creek when Robert came across the tarantulas on the bank. Here he also discovered that not only can the tarantulas swim, but they can also stay underwater for extended periods of time.

**Grot 6**

Desubot wrote:
Oh god you have land sharks now?

With lasers!!!

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Grey Templar wrote:
Bull Sharks can actually be found in almost any river system. Including those in the US. Especially Florida.

Oh yeah... We have a ... few interesting stories like this, all the time. You keep an eye out for them, like you do for the Panthers, Bears, and Gators. ( They really are that big, people are ripping up their areas, so they go take another one

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=92630

Those sharks are like Mosquitos, down here..... give it a fresh one, it goes away. They try to roll up on your backside, take a chunk out of you, then move off...

**Farseer Anath'lan**

Yeah, we keep our golf courses interesting.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/wildlife-on-golf-courses-animals-can-be-an-extra-hazard-for-players-20151015-gk9phi.html

**nerdfest09**

Fangs as long as a Tiger snake's not a real endearing feature, lucky they live a fair way away from me :-)

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/a-new-species-of-funnel-web-spider-found-in-tasmania-has-fangs-longer-than-a-tiger-snake-2017-4

**MechaEmperor7000**

Australia is my proof that the world has already been infested with Tyranids.

**Dakka Flakka Flame**

I think this calls for Exterminatus.

**nerdfest09**

Dakka Flakka Flame wrote:
I think this calls for Exterminatus.

Dis they Exterminatus Catachan? nope they just left it there to harvest those hulking Imperial guard and to have some wicked stories to tell!