The H8er Guys like to ask lots of questions like ‘What’s the Capital of Arizona?’ and ‘How come yo mamma so fat?’ And if you give the wrong answer they tie you up and hit you a lot. They’re kind of like Alex Trebek except that Alex gives you answers and you have to give him the question back. But if Alex asked questions he’d be like the H8er Guys. – Sneak Preview of Codex H8er Guys
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The Demon H8er Guys really (x2) hate the Space Demons. That’s too bad cause the Girl Space Demons are real (x2) hot. Oh well more Girl Space Demons for me I guess. Sometimes the Demon H8er Guys like to go up to the Big Space Demons and hit them with hammers. That’s real (x2) funny cause, like, even if you’re a Demon H8er with your dress and your skulls and your hammer and everything, what’s that gonna do to a Space Demon? Nothing. The Space Demon’s just gonna scrape you off his cloven hoof. Oh well. No great loss. – Sneak Preview of Codex Demon H8er Guys
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The Witch H8er Guys really (x2) hate the Space Witches. That’s too bad cause those chicks in Charmed are real (x2) hot. But they’d be even hotter if they were like Lesbians. Mmm Lesbian witches. Lesbian SISTER witches. Sometimes the Witch H8er Guys like to go up to the Lesbian Space Witches and poke them with their stakes. That’s not what I want to poke them with, heh, heh, heh. – Sneak Preview of Codex Witch H8er Guys
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The Alien H8er Guys really (x2) hate the Space Aliens. That’s too bad cause the Girl Space Elfs are real (x2) hot. Man this one time we were playing Dungeons & Dragons and we found this pit where like these girl elfs were prisoners and the pit was filled with this special green slime that only dissolved clothes so they were totally like naked and stuff so like we told the DM we were jumping right in of course that meant our clothes dissolved too but hey that just made it easier. But then we had no armor and the one-eyed snakes attacked and we died but it was like so worth it. Right now I’m photoshopping pointy ears onto Porn Stars so I can I have a picture of that adventure as my wallpaper. That’s why I can’t finish Codex Alien H8ers. – Sneak Preview of Codex Alien H8er Guys
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The Crazy Fixit Guys are these crazy guys who like to fix stuff such as bicycles, 8-track cassette players and plasma reactors. Normal fixit guys wear dirty teeshirts and smell like BO but Crazy Fixit Guys wear bathrobes and smell like incense. They’re cool. They have like, these wacky giant robots that wear like, Cathedrals as hats! Wacky! And nutty flying skulls with radio parts glued to them! Nutty! And crazy cyborg zombies with hoses! Crazy! This one time we asked a guy to make a wacky, nutty, crazy Fixit Guy army but he cracked up and now he’s in a padded room drooling. That’s why we can’t make Codex Crazy Fixit Guys. – Sneak Preview of Codex Crazy Fixit Guys.
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This one time this guy on the Universal Intarweb asked “WHEN WILL THE PAN-FO BE REVILED!!!1!!” and everyone was like “WTF?” So like everyone checked out Codex Pan-Fo with its Space Aliens who move by farting and its S7 AP3 guns and misspellinks and claims that Andy Chambers was going to get it published and then we learned the truth… The Pan-Fo always have been, and always will be Reviled. – Sneak Preview of Codex Revilers of the Pan-Fo
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Unlike normal Televangelists who like to take your money and spend it on silk suits and strippers, the Space Televangelists like to take your money and spend it on Robes with Skulls On Them and Crazy Bondage Chicks with Knives. This one time they had a telethon and the Space Pope was all like “Send me your skulls or Baby Space Emperor will Cry!” and this widow in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:state w:st="on">Florida</st1:state></st1:place> was all like “OH NO!!1!eleven!” so she sent all her skulls, even the one in her head. So she like died and stuff. But the Baby Space Emperor was very (x2) happy because he could get even more Crazy Bondage Chicks with Knives. – Sneak preview of Codex Space Televangelists
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This one time the Space Emperor was telling his son “Son you’re going to grow up be a mighty warrior and conquer the Space Universe, you’ll be a man’s man just like Rogal Dorn!” But the son was all like “No way dad, I’m going to Japan to teach English and drink sake and watch porno-mation and sleep with skinny Japanese girls, I’m going to be A SENESI!” and the Space Emperor was all like “you do that and I’ll disown you! I mean it!” but the son didn’t listen and that’s why you can’t play the Sensei anymore. – Sneak Preview of Way Cool Super Powered Ninja Jedi Emperor’s Star Children Sensei That you Can’t Play Anymore
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This one time the Space Emperor was raising prices when all of the sudden he realized his money bin was full! He was all like OMGWTF and stuff. So he called the Bean Counters and they were all like you have to raise prices to buy a new money bin! So he did but that made it fill up even faster. So he raised prices again. And many people on the Universal Intarweb were mad because like, a guardsman cost $1 a point and sales went down and the Bean Counters said the Space Emperor has to raise prices to cover less customers. This why, even though they don’t play Warhammer, the Bean Counters they beat you every time. – Sneak Preview of Codex Bean Counters.
