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my brother said nuffing like this could happen. well, maybe the orgryn part. but cuold the other stuff?

Da Smasha Boyz

Klotz, who was only one of da Boyz then, was on the Ork controlled planet of Gorkaderk following his Warboss Argrecka Rogro, when he was brained on the head during a fight over some good grog. When Klotz was unconscious, he saw visions of Ork glory and heard Gork and Mork talking to him about how he needs to rally da Boyz together again, ‘cause Argrecka Rogro wasn’t doing his proper job as Warboss. When Klotz came to, he went to Argrecka and told him what Gork and Mork told him. Da Warboss was surprised that a Boy would come to the big bad boss and tell him what to do, and he was also impressed with it. Argrecka promoted Klotz to a Nob in his own guard (but he still received a good thumpin’ for tell da boss wat to do). So Argrecka started organizing da Boyz of all kinds across Gorkaderk into one ‘uge powerful Waagh! Coincidently, the Imperium decided that the planet Gorkaderk held far too good a tactical position for the Orks to have, and sent the Mexdurem 24th to reclaim the planet. When scouting the planet, they realized that the once Ork-covered world now had ninety percent of its population in Argrecka’s city, unbeknownst to the Imperium, that’s where he was organizing his Waagh! The Ork city held off five waves of Imperial Guard, and the commander of the 24th, and extremely rash and angry man, decided that he would crush the city entirely. He took the entirety of his army and surrounded the city. Luckily, the infamous Snuckskar and his kammandos saw the Guard closing in, and warned Argrecka. Da Warboss decided to use some of his Ork cunnin’. He ordered every Ork in his city, which now numbered in the hundreds of thousands, to use the city’s extensive sewer systems to leave the Da Boss’s city, undetected. Argrecka then fortified the center of the city into an unbreakable fortress. Then, with only his own retinue of Nobz, including Klotz and a few mekboyz to run da big gunz, he sealed himself in and waited for the coming invasion. When it came, the Guard stalked the empty streets, with only a few booby traps here and there. They headed towards the center of town, and to Argrecka and Klotz. When the Guardsmen were sighted, the big gunz started shootin’ with a wild fury. When the Guard finally broke the door, Argrecka’s Orky plotz started going off. First, the door was wired to explode when opened, and this obliterated the twenty or so men trying to open it. Then when the smoke cleared, the remaining men found themselves staring down the barrels of Argrecka’s bestest, meanest, shootyest Zzap gunz. And gaining entrance to the rest of the fort was just as hard (such Ork jeeniuss as dumping boiling hot tar, and a buggie, on the oomies, mobz of Grotz twenty deep charging them with live Stikbommas, razza wire, doors with nothing behind them but a brick wall, and automated shootas, which made the Guard turn one way, only to be shot in their exposed back.) But, nonetheless, the Maxdurem 24th eventually got to Argrecka’s inner chamber. Knowing what was behind those doors, the Guardsman Commander ordered his best squad of Storm Troopers to remove the Ork Warboss. The speed and decisiveness which the Storm Troopers assaulted the room shocked Argrecka, but not for long enough for them to gain the upper hand. The Storm Troopers fought hard and well, but it was impossible to match the ferocity and power which Argrecka himself and his biggest, best boyz fought with. After witnessing the destruction of his men, the Commander then ordered his Orgryns to take the room. Vicious hand to hand combat erupted when the Orgryns assaulted. The Commander now smiled, thinking that the only Orks on the planet were these ones, and the rest must have mutinied and left their old Warboss for dead. At that moment, one of his sentries, who was scouting the city, radioed in and told the Commander that there were Orks on the horizon. Expecting to see a small band of loyal Orks, the Commander turned to see the entire Waagh! surrounding the city. The Guardsmen, even with their entire army in the city, were still outnumbered two to one. In Argrecka’s chamber, the Orks and Orgryns were fighting hard to gain superiority. Each Nob was fighting two Orgryns each, and Argrecka had three. One of the Orgryns saw an opportunity, and stabbed Argrecka through the back, and out his chest. Argrecka gave a mighty roar, turned, and hewed the Orgryns in two. Argrecka Rogro, Warboss of the mighty Waagh!, then fell dead to the floor. The ferocity that was awakened in the Nobz when they saw their great Warboss fall was unimaginable. Orgryns were ripped in two with bare claws, choppas were buried so deep into skulls that they could not be freed, and those who were wounded fought only the harder. Klotz picked up Argrecka’s enormous chain choppa, and wielding it with bottomless strength, chopped down two Orgryns in one blow. The Guardsmen in the city tried, and tried hard, to fight off the returning Orks, but in the end, none could stop their beastly charge. Once all the Orgryns were dead, the Nobz walked out to see the Boyz cheering wildly. The city had been taken back, and the Maxdurem 24th was utterly destroyed. The only surviving member was the Commander, who had situated himself into a high tower, to observe the claiming of the city. Klotz scaled the tower to find the Commander. He fought valiantly with chainsword and plasma pistol, but Klotz was too quick. He chopped off the Commanders arms with Argrecka’s Choppa, and held his still-living body high above his head to show the Boyz below. Klotz dropped him to the seventy feet to the ground, where he was torn to pieces. Everyone knew that Klotz was now Warboss.

Knowing that the Marine-boyz would be coming after destruction of the Imperial Guard company, and that their assault on Gorkaderk would halt any chance of a Waagh!, Klotz decided to start the ooniverse crushing charge now. He left Gorkaderk on his battleship Da Cuttin’ Choppa and was followed by da Boyz in a massive fleet. His first landfall was on the Dead World Serien II, where he found, surprisingly enough, more Orks. He met Metalgrim, a wily insane Painboss and his group of remade Cyborks. Klotz detested everything too teknology-y, and took an instant dislike of Metalgrim, who was mostly a Cybork himself. Metalgrim tried to strike a deal with Klotz, offering up his services to the Waagh! if Klotz helped him retrieve a trinket from a nearby ruin. Klotz wasn’t very interested in having Metalgrim and his Cyborks in his Waagh! but he figured, at the very least, he could kill Metalgrim and keep whatever this trinket was, for himself. Klotz agreed. Klotz took his retinue of Nobz, including Morgop and Gersik, who fought along side him and Argrecka. He followed Metalgrim and his Cyborks to the ancient ruin. The object Metalgrim lusted over so badly turned out to be a simple pyramid with stupid shapes and squiggly lines on it. It wasn’t even worth killing Metalgrim to take it! While Klotz was thinking “Stoopid meky boyz and der expeerriments not knowin’ how to be da real green mean ork boyz”, Metalgrim removed the pyramid from its pedestal. As if on command, several large, metaly, skellitony boyz rose from the sand behind the pedestal. Metalgrim insisted it was time to flee, but fleeing wasn’t Klotz’s style. He and his Nobz chopped down the skellitons with little trouble. Metalgrim turned to leave, or maybe run, but more skellitons rose from the sands. They outnumbered the Cyborks three to one. Klotz stood there, waiting till the skellitons killed of Metalgrim for him. However, the Cyborks and Metalgrim fought harder than Klotz would have thought possible. Some had blades stuck right to their arms, which crackled with electricity, some fired massive gunz fused to their flesh, and one ever shot long metal spikes out of his mouth. The Cyborks killed the skellitons almost as fast as Klotz had killed his, and there were more for the Cyborks to kill! Right then, Klotz decided to let Metalgrim and his metal warriors join his Waagh!, but he wasn’t gonna have anymore than those Cyborks in his Waagh! Klotz, his Nobz, Metalgrim, and his Cyborks, eventually fought there way from the ruins. But Klotz called it “tatikal retreat” not runnin’. When they got returned to where the rest of da boyz was stationed, Klotz realized he had been followed. Klotz and his Smasha Boyz were in there first battle as a Waagh! After several months of hard Ork campaignin’ against the metal skellitons, and seeing thousands die (and just as many get back up) Klotz decided that there was a non stop supply of them on the planet, and it wasn’t worth losing good boyz to dem. Klotz left the planet and continued his Waagh! elsewhere. Sometimes, Klotz would chuck some of his wounded best boyz to Metalgrim to see if he could heal them, as long as he didn’t turn no more good real Ork boyz into them redicurus Cyborks. During one attempted saving, Metalgrim went behind Klotz back, and turned a boy into a dreadnot. Klotz was furious until he saw that there wasn’t no handles or buttons or levers in da Dread, but instead the boy was wired directly into the machine. Klotz figured that this was da same as a power suit some Nobz wore, so it was ok. Klotz had Metalgrim build one more, and a few Kans too, in the same fashion. Now, Klotz and his massive Waagh! scourge the stars, crushing and killing and destroying any and all resistance in his way.

By the dice, no. But everyone knows that Orks can do anything, just like Space Marines and Eldar or whoever the story in question happens to be about.

'Some Orks got in a fight with some Ogryns, but were outnumbered a smashed into funny green pulp'

OR

'An Ork spearhead, outnumbered by heavily-armed mutants (because they are, that's why), saw nothing but un-hacked meat and bone, and made things right.'

The bottom one makes for a better story, even if I worded it oddly. Yes, 'crons tend to just appear/rise out of sand. It's an interesting argument whether an ork-infested world could defend itself against one or two Necron tombs with the 'native population'.

'Five waves' is standard Imperial Guard procedure - at least before 'changing your mind' comes up. Ogryns are expendable - mainly because they're MUTANTS!

That's actually exactly how they worked in 2nd. They gave it to Sisters in 3rd for some reason though. I like this fluff. Has the feel of the fun and spirit that has truly drained out of GW since it became a public company.

edit - frankly by the game system it's a lot more plausible than any of the "classic" stories about the Emperor and the Primarchs.