the "nonexistant item"

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**Ensis Ferrae**

how many of you have been to a new job, and had a co-worker ask you to grab something from the closet or storage place that was in fact, non existant??

for example, in the military a common thing to do to new privates, is to sent them after any number of the following:

a roll of flight line
Chem light batteries
a box of grid squares
a can of elbow grease (apparently this one DOES exist in Korea, from what i understand, its a small brand of grease based lubricant)
a "prick E-7"

the list goes on and on....

what about it, any more you want to share with the community?

**reds8n**

If we have new casuals and we're setting up for a formal dinner we sometimes send them to look for the soup knives, which of course are placed under the soup spoons. Or the butter fork depending upon how we feel. "Everything has an opposite that goes with it" we tell them.

The maintenance guys apparently often send the new guy to the sheds for a bulb wrench when they've got to change some lights in one of the halls.

Tartan paint is the classic from memory. The response of course being to ask from which clan/pattern.

**Hordini**

It's never happened to me (I'm not in the army, but I've got family who are and were), but I've heard about going to fetch a "box of grid squares." It was kind of funny, because my step dad asked me if I knew what a grid square was. Luckily I did know, so I don't think I'd fall for that one. Of course, I wasn't under much stress when he asked me so who knows.

He also talked about grabbing some "Squelch" for the radio. I didn't really think that one was as funny though.

I hadn't heard chem light batteries though....that's pretty good.

**Hordini**

Oh, I just remembered about cans of Muzzle Blast for tanks!

**Ensis Ferrae**

hehe, the muzzle blast one reminded me of another activity to tell the new guy..

give him a ball ping hammer, and a stick of chalk, and tell him to mark with a circle, all the "weak spots" in the armor... this works especially well with the 113s, Bradleys, and Apache helicopters

have been just reminded by my father-in-law of these:

Barrel magazine for stinger
left-handed screw driver
cockpit wrench
horizontal tail stabilizer
middle seat for the jeep.

oh yeah... the ID-10-T form (you'd say it, I D-ten-tango) haha, thats a good one to do too

**malfred**

They sent my buddy at the mall looking for wall spanners.

**LuciusAR**

At school when I was about 12 my history teacher sent to get a "long Weight" for the door from the head of the CDT department.

It was long running joke betten the 2 and I never heard the end of it.

Bastards.

**HoverBoy**

Last time we pulled that it was "glass ink" the guys at supplies where so laughterstriken they still giggle when he walks by, a week later

**Kilkrazy**

When I worked at Aiwa (hifi company) new staff were sent to the spare parts department for a long weight for a turntable arm.

**sexiest_hero**

In basic training, My Instructor send a kid every day to the command building to get a Flux compasitor, for his delorian.

**chaplaingrabthar**

Always did like a good Snipe hunt.

**Kilkrazy**

What about teasing the receptionist by asking her to announce that Mike Hunt is waiting for someone in reception?

**grizgrin**

When I was in the Navy the guys in my workcenter tried a few things. 10' of shoreline, mail bouy watch, a few others. My dad was a Coastie and I had heard all their stuff before, and a lot more. So I shot them all down, kinda scornfully too.

Never was much of a traditionalist.

**youbedead**

chaplaingrabthar wrote:Always did like a good Snipe hunt.

The great thing about this is the fact that snipes are real birds.

This is where the term sniper comes from if you were able to kill a snipe you deemed a sniper.