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27th Capellian Infantry Regiment

"All troops to transports. Repeat. All troops to transports."
The whine of sirens and the bellow of the alarm made the Gaurdsmen jump to their feet. Private Harris grabbed his kit and lasgun an head for a near by Valkyrie. One thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine other gaurdsmen, men and women, young and old, leapt for their Valkyrie's aswell. A planetary reinforcement mission had become and invasion... no one was left on Praicore IX but the twelve regiments still left holding off the Tyranids. Harris and about several thousand gaurdsmen were walking into hell. Everyone knew it.
HE pulled himself into the Valkyrie droped his gear and spun to pull the next man in. His friend, and the pilot, Cadet Isrow, was helping bost the men up aswell. He grined as he pulled the Sargeant in and grabbed his shoulder.
"Sargeant Rai, I need to start the ship up and prep for take off. Take my post," he said. THe Sargeant nodded and turned to help as Isrow leapt down and went around to the front. Harris pulled two more men when he saw a Commissar, bearing a powerfist and the iconic bolt pistol and black coat, walking towards the Valkyrie.
"Sarge," Harris said tapping his shoulder as the last member of the squad was pulled in. Rai knew immediately knew what was going on an jumped done to meet the commissar.
"Comrade Commissar," Rai saids shaking hands with the commissars hand. The Commissar simply nods. Sargeant Rai Continues, "What brings you here?"
"Sargeant, I've been ordered to your squad for the landing," He said passing by and pulling himself up into the Valkyrie.
"Yes Commissar," The Sargeant says grabbing Harris extended hand to be pulled up. Harris grabs the door and pulls it shut. Locking it shut and airsealing it, he sat down and pulled the secure brace down over his head and locked it. HeE looked about the room, and counted.
"Sargeant, we've got one to many," He says pointing him out. The man whom he refers to is a younger soldier, holding a missile weapon and a kit of explosives in hand. "HE doesn't seem to be part of our squad sir."
"I'm part of a heavy weapon team. My team is inthe next Valkyrie over but we wanted to have some insurance incase the Valkyries got shot down," them man says. He leans forward and slides the rocket launcher into the holder. The Sargeant nods and looks at the commissar.
"Okay but we have to get both your and his name," he says looking sharpely into his eyes. The Commissar returned the stare.
"Corperal Respo," the man said first.
"Commander Commissar Trakov." The commissars voice is cold and creul making several men flinch.
"Okay. Lets get the plan layed out right now. We hit the ground and we ready the heavy bolter. Markus, Harris and Jonsey. Your covering the bolter. Iccorus and Carlo, you going to get the vox ready and have it going by the time Captain Visco hits the ground. Mako, have your flamer warm," He barks. Everyone quickly nods.

Cadet Isrow turns all power on.
"Thurster. Check. Weapons lock, off. Secondary systems ar up and running sir," He leans over the console in front of him and prepares for a response.
"Alright Cadet. I just got clearance from the tower for lift off," We'll wait for Harpy to get her clearance and the squadron will take off as one," Captain Lapore says. The Comm. cracks and a female voice comes on.
"I heard that furball. We just got clearance too so lets go."
"Ah miss Victoria, her voicce makes my day shine brighter," anotehr voice come through.
"Come on, Victor, you have no chance with a women like her," another speaks through. Isrow laughs.
"Payloads right, a Cadet like me has more chance then you Victor," he speaks as the Canopy closes above him.
"Shutup, Hawker. You guys have no right sto spe-" Victor says being cut off.
"All of you shut it. Hawker, Payload, and Victor you taking the left. Jester, Rook and Guardian, your on the right. When we break the atomsphere we hit the landing zone with everything we've got first then swing around and land the troops got it. Jester and Rook, You're flying the speacial Valkyries so watch yourselves. He have to make sure those two Chimera's hit the ground. Or else the Regiment will take heavy causilties. Understood?" Victoria ordered.
"Understood Commander," all the pilots responded.
"Kid your flying this time. I've got weapons," Lapore said. He closes the mask to hsi face and makes ready for the launch.
"Understood sir. Thanks for giving me the wheel," Issrow responds. He sees the Captains head nodded approvingly.
"Valkyrie, one-two-four-alpha, you are on launch ramp, you are green, launch when ready." The ships 'tower' operator came on as the Valkyrie was lowered into place.
"Understood tower. Engines are hot. I have green light," Issrow toke a deep breathe, "Engaging thrusters, power to one hundred percent. Release clamps now Tower."
"Releasing clamps. see you when you get back Hawker."
The Aircraft lurked as the thrusters brusted with power launching Valkyrie forward. Issrow felt the G's hit him in the gut. HE felt his breakfast and his lunch come in to his mouth, he forced himseklf to swallow and hold it in. The Valkyrie exit the tube just missing a pair of Thunderbolts, chaing a Tyranid Bio form. Issrow watched at they shot at it and laced it with lascannon rounds.
"Holy gak! I thought space was secure!" Screamed Victor through the comm as he pulled into formation infront of Issrow.
"Doessn't look like it Victor. Jester you out yet?" Victoria said.
"Yes Commander, I see Rook launching too with Payload right beside him," a roughy voice said.
"Unberstood Jester. Wheres Guardian? Anyone see him?" she said.
"Negative no visual. Wait scratch that, there he is," a voice said.
"Where Rook? Where?"
"About two kilometres below us Commander."
"Gaurdian here Commander. I had to avoid a bio form. Pulling into formation now," Another voice said.
"Understood. Lets go down boys. We've got a job to do," Victoria said.
"Black Squadron, this is your escort, Grey squadron. We are pulling in behind you," A static filled voice came in as several Thunderbolts pulled int formation.
"Great, how many are there of you?" Victor said.
"Eighteen. You guys must be pretty damn important," the pilot responds.
"Incoming directly above! Two, NO Three Biofroms. The Gonna Ram," Jester screams.
"Break formation. Watch you dierction, keep an ey out for anything else," Vitoria said calm and collected. THe Group of aircraft as the first bioform fly through completely missing. THe second one hits a thunderbolt derictly as the burst of flames and genetic material fly apart. THe Third hits Gaurdian Valkryie, tearing the right wing completely off.
"Mayday Mayday. I have lost my wing. No control. gak! Engine's gone too, Engine one is still operating but I'm spininng. can get bearign of heading," Guardian Screams out.
"Gaurdian! Kill your engine and activate your stablizers. You headed for the ship. Repeat your headed for the ship! JACKSON PULL OUT!" Victoria yells. THe Squadron pulls back into formation as everyone watchs the swirling smoke trail and debris falling off the ship.
"Crap, come on Jackson, you can do it," Jester said.
"Engine one, flaring up. Can't shut her down. Stablizers not responding. Damnit. I cant-" he did finish the Valkyrie hit the ships starboards side and burst into flames.
"Damnit," Rooks said queitly.
"Rescarp, you have the wings she's all yours," Victoria said. She was in shock as Jackson was her husband.
"Undrestood Commander. Squadron, pull back into formation and begin descent," a male voice said. The Sqaudron roled over and dove into the battle head for a flat planet below. Very little trees or cities but it had resourses. Making it Stratgical to command. Nearly all the planet below them was under Tyranid control, but nearly a fifth of the planet was being held by Imperial Forces.
"Here we go," Jester said over the comm. He had no idea how right he was...

Looking good so far!
Just a little bit of puncuation and such.
Also, you should of built up the relationship between Jackson and Victoria a bit more, it seemed cold to just add as he died that they were husband and wife. Also, please provide more insight into the emotions of the guardsmen and people, so far it seems a lot like dialouge only.
Keep it up!

Chapter 2

"Hawker, your coming in too steep, pull up your nose about ten degrees," Payload said ove rthe comm. as the entry started. The heat began to build as Hawker pulled back slightly. He heard the engines roar as the stress began to pull on them. He heard a a snap, making him flinch.
"Victor, do you have view of me?" Issrow asked. The sound made him quite nervous and very jittery. He flinch as he heard another.
"Relax Hawker, its just the pressure gage readjusting. Nothing to worry about," Victor said. This was all new, fresh out of the academy on Capella and thrown strait into battle.
"Understood. How much longer?"
"About two minutes. Rescrap, how Jessica?" Victor asked. This was natural for the squadron to be worried about their fellow pilots.
"Can't tell, she seems to be trying to relax. She's taking it pretty hard. I can understand, I'm still recoiling after the lose of my wife on Syprus II," Rescrap respond. He was the veteran of the squadron, seemingly like the squadrons eldar and gave advice to anyone who asked. Even Guardsmen.
"Rook, Jester you still there?" Payload asked.
"I think their more focused on their loads then the talking, Payload," Victor said. He geussed right, becuase carrying a light transport full of Gaurdsmen in an atomsphereic landing was hard but doing it with Tyranids around made it that much harder.
"Thunderbolt Sqaudron, you guys still with us?" Victor asked quickly.
"Thats a yes and no, Victor. Several of my fighters had to pull off their descent due to the fact that we had several Bioform in pursuit," the squadron commander said.
"They won't try that. Would they?" Payload pondered out loud.
"Their Tyranid, they would try it and you know it. But it doesn't make sense why they would though. They'd burn up," Victor said. A burst of flame lit up the right side as a Thunderbolt's wing broke off. IT tumbled then broke apart as the pilot ejected.
"gak, Squadron watch you angles of descent, we have to make it to the bombing point. Then we can go home for the day," The Thunderbolt commander barked.
"Valkyries, we have 30 seconbds. Inform your passengers and mates to be ready," Rescrap order. Issrow flipped a switch and change to internal comm. set.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, will you please put your tray's and seats in the up right position as we are about to passover the landing zone, um if you please relax you will be fine the moment we hit the ground, and thank you for flying Navy airlines. Enjoy your day," Issrow said, strait faced and every thing he was wondering how the Guardsmen were tanking it.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH DID IT AGAIN SIR!" Markus yelled out. Everyone was laughing haard expect the commissar. Harris felt some tears roll down his eyes as he grabbed his stomach.
"I'M SERIOUS!" No one was laughing at Issrow, but they were laughing at Markus.
"Markus, you know he does that when every we go in, even during training he did that. So why are you getting mad?" Sargeant Rai asked.
"Well first of he said Enjoy your day. Thats just creepy. Second, he said when we hit the ground. That make me thing we are going to literally hit the ground. Third... its Issrow," Markus said calming down. Everyone started to get a hold of them selves as they looked at the red light that just lite up.
"Get ready. We hit in 30 you all know what that means," Sargeant Rai said.
"YES SIR!" the squad respond. They were scared and unsure, but they were will to fight the Tyranids at all costs.
"Sir I feel like roasting some 'nids. So lets get there so I can do that," Mako said. I lit a cigar and puffed some smoke out.
"Blow the otehr direction Mako," Jonsey coughed up. Both were good friend but you won't be able to tell with all their bickering.
"How 'bout, no. Either way, I can't blow with out some coming at you," mako said turning his head. He place the cigar back in hsi mouth and began to talk agian, "Either way, I need to have this thing out to help me relax. And you can't reach me to punch me."
Jonsey made the motion and saw that he was right. So he grabbed his lasguns butt and moved it to his lap, hitting Mako with the butt end.
"Now I can hit you," Jonsey chuckled.
"Damwit."

"Captain, we are 30 second out. You can activate you weapons when ready," Issrow said.
"Understood pilot. Engaging weapons power systems, disarming safeties and preparing to fire," Lapore responded. He was calm and collected as usaul. Issrow looked at the ground they were headed for. Infested was the only word to discribe it.
"Thunderbolts are you going in?" Resrcap asked over the comm. The thunderbolts roared past and dived on the position. Bombs and Missiles tore the ground apart as Tyranid body parts rose up. Groups of monsters ran for the Laning zone.
"Alright squadron, light 'em up!" Rescrap ordered. Rockets roared for the ground with hellstrike missiles. The scream of the rockets being launched from Issrow Valkyrie tore the most forward point up.
"Issrow, pilot fires the Multi-laser, strafe the landing zone as we pass over," Lepore said. He was throwing switchs and activating come. Lascannons and Multi Lasers strated to kill anything that move. Clouds of black smoke from burning bodies filled the sky, and the Valkries flew through quiclky spinning, strafing again. The smoke cleared and the Valkyries landed.

"MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!" Sargeant Rai bellowed. Harris leapt out seeing feilds of flame and carters. He turned to see a heavy lift Valkyrie hover a metre above ground and drop the armour casing holding the Chimera. IT roared as it toke to the sky spinning firign it Multi-laser at a line of advancing Tyranids.
"Move it, head for a carter and open fire!" another Guardsmen yelled.
Harris ran to the front of Valkyrie and signalled Issrow. Issrow nodded and the Valkyrie roared as it toke off, raising a cloud of dust for cover.
"Welcome to Praocore IX, it gonna be a good year for experince boys!" One of the Chimera's commander yelled out. He didn't know how wrong he was...

Looking good mate!

Pretty good, need to watch punctuation and maybe spelling, but great effort keep it up

Chapter 3

"Squad 3 lay supressive fire. Sqaud 2 Cover the left!" Leuitenant Forshberg yelled. It had been hours since the last drop and it was starting to show as the heavy bolters and sqecial weapons started to run dry.
"Leuitenant! Carnifex!" Eadmund screamed. To Harris's surpirse, there it was. A gaint creature stroling towards the lines, two sythe like arms coming from it and a smaller one under them. THe long barrel on the oppiste side was what worried him. but hte carnifex roared and charge on of the Chimera's, the crew leaping form it. One of its sythes imbedded itself int he Chimera as it pushed it over, causing the sythe to tear a massive gash through the hull of the tank.
"Gunners! Take the thing down!" He barked over head. the long barrel toke aim at a group of men and smouther them with a acidic liquid melting them. Their screams filled the air and at boiling bodies started to slump forward. Harris toke aim and fired three shots. the first missed while the second l hi the carapace on its back. The third hit it in its eye and monster screamed a high pitch squel. Men grabbed the heads, feeling pain form the pitch.
"FIRE!" The leuitenant screamed. More lasguns started firing. The round hit and started to injure the beast but it strolled towards another squad. It raised its sythe and crushed one under it, while swiping with the other. Finally a rocket hit its side and caused it to fall to the ground finally dieing.
"Sir several more on the horizon!" Sargeant Rai yelled. Thing were getting worse and worse.

"I just put them down though? Why are we pick them out of there now?" Issrow yelled over the comm.
"THe Regimental commanders just lost contact with 12th company. And worse yet, the two other landing zone have been completely compermised," the Lepore said. Teh Valkyrie banked hard to the right, turning towards the landing zone.
"Damnit. Alright do we have any cover this time?"
"Negative on that, All thundebolts are being ordered to the southern sector to hit a large Tryanid position and then head for the Hive Tryants coordanats
"What in all of th warp is going on down there?"
"Destruction."