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Ok Im preparing to write this story, still getting characters together and trying to wonder were im going to go with it. Basically the timeline im going for is kinda the end of the M41 and it going to go into M42 so I can make up some my own fluff that happing in the 40k universe bit of more working room too(til GW finally moves on which prob never happin). So anyways my main character is the leader of an exiled company(dont want to give too much away) thats in search for a rare weapon there Primarch, Sanguinius(what he intents to do with them,only he knows for now). Anyways to the chase I was wondering if anyone had any ideas or suggestions about my Main characters love interest(yes I know not Grimdark Arrrrgggg) anyways im doing it but I was wanting it to be an Eldar Ranger cause the main character himself is an outcast,(but dont even know if there are female rangers) Eldar Banshee or Eldar Farseer. Now I know heretical, that would never happen, yadda yadda, but hey gak happens lol. I just got done reading Dawn of War: Ascension and I dont know if it was just me but Macha and Gaberiel had something going on there. Also, what craftworld would you think would be good that she would come from? I was thinking Beil-Tan, apparently the eldar chicks from that craftworld dig mon-keigh lol. Thanks for any help you can give and be gentle lol

you do know that sanguinius is dead dont you?

Yeah I know, my character is questing for the lost relic, would it help more if I provably just threw my whole story idea out there? And thanks for responding , guess noone was interested or nothing, my fault tho

Make his love interest a rogue psyker outcast of a powerful rogue trader clan. She would potentially have strong connections/resources, but at the same time, she's damned with psionic power. The reason her family keeps her alive/around(albeit at pole's, or perhaps polearm's length) is because her abilities are so useful to their particular...goals.

Maybe she could be suppressed and locked in some dungeon when the main character travels nearby, and she sends some psychic signals to him, promising power or success or some such if he were to rescue her.

Another plot goodie would be to make it such that she's extremely cynical, and is attracted to the main character because he has a singular sense of morality and is the only mind she's not uncomforted/agitated by in close proximity(if you know what I mean >.&gt.

Is this outcast perhaps a certain vindicare assassin...?

Also, there are female rangers. No gender bias there really. They are just eldar (of all sorts) who get sick of not getting to do anything.

That psyker idea is pretty good, thanks for all the info so far. Well my main character is the first ever Champion of the Blood Angels Legion, He has basically been alive since The arrival of The Imperium on Baal and took part in most of The Great Crusade from that point on. During the Siege of Terra, when there Rage overtook the Blood Angels, Michael, Champion of Sanguinius(main character) and a company of Blood angels at the forefront of the final charge against the fleeing Traitors, Michael having fell Kharn(yes thats right Im making a character who was the one who is the only person to best Kharn and kill him, thus the world eaters found him on the pile of bodies) a Halo of light and power blazing around his head as were wings of Light that shone from his back as he defeated Kharn, wound up actually boarding one of there vessels and eventually taking it over. However, the badly damaged vessel had been stranded out in space, and with Michael and his fellow brothers were slowly becoming consumed by the black rage(tho not sure as to the full nature of it), taken the only action he could think of, he had the company sized force put in hibernation sleep(or you know were they sleep for light years and stuff dont know if this right name for it) to try and stave of the effects.

However the ship had been so badly damaged that there was only enough pods for the company excluding Michael. Slowly but surely it broke at his sanity, almost consumed to the point of destroying his fellow brothers while they slept, but this did not come to pass. Michael awoke one day,week,year he does not know and he had changed, his skin paler, his features younger, he his chapter trait of vampirc teeth had grown slightly lager, but the biggest change was he felt diff faster,stronger then he had ever felt even as an astares. Eventually, a fellow Blood Angels vessel had come to found them, when they boreded they found Michael and almost mistook him for a Traitor Marine, however Michael was able to disarm the marine Squad and explain his situation. After the formality's Michael figured that it was time to wake his Brothers, to his surprise they too had undergone the change he had, becoming something....more then Astares.

They were viewed with suspicion upon there reunion with there brothers, but despite there newly endowed power, they were exiled, sent on a never ending crusade to seek redemption for the rage that they had embraced and made there own. With that Michael, Champion of Sanguinius, set off, outcast by his brothers, having no aid from The Imperium or The Blood Angels, however never far from them, he and his own self styled "11th Death Company" set out fighting in every major conflict, The Armageddon Wars, The Dameous(cant spell) Gulf Crusade(dont know any others off the top my head but basically he has been rendering aid to the Imperuim were ever he can) to name but a few, countlessly trying to regain his brothers trust. Always being investigated by the Inquisition and Eccleriacy(cant spell) for any hint of Chaos ready to jump on the supposedly "Chaos" marines at any chance they can. Now the end of the 41stM is at a close, and Michael grows weary and bitter unable to gain his Brothers trust even threw he and his company's selfless sacrifices threw the millenium . he seeks to bring about a great blow to the Chaos forces and once again join his Brothers in rightful service of The Emperor and take revenge on the Legion who betray not just his Emperor but his Primarch, he seeks to destroy Abaddon The Destroyer, he seeks revenge.

Michael has caught wind of a rumor, just a rumor of one of his Primarchs treasured weapons. He himself had seen The Primarch wield these weapons before but had figured them lost that day on the planet when they were ripped from the primacrhs hands. A pair of beautifully crafted vortex claws(basically lighting claws but vortex blades, also open to other ideas bout weapon I wanted it to be something different from other characters signature weapons) called Blades of the Righteous(better, cooler name?). He seeks them, and then he palns to destory the tratiro Abaddon once and for all.

Ok This is pretty much a rough outline of the main story plot, so let me know what you think and if you need me to explain anything or fill in any holes let me know. also think I mite go with Female Ranger, shes and outcast and well having a fling with a xenos is not going to help Michael's situation either. Mite go with an SOB not sure tho(already been done). Also the hardest part about staring a story is the opening(for lack of better word) any suggestions?

The sleepy thing is called stasis. And I know what you mean about Gabriel and Macha
I will hunt you down if you kill off Abaddon btw (oh, and it's Abaddon the despoiler )

Here's a random thingy.

Michael drew his chainsword in a low arc(power sword?), sweeping the legs off several approaching cultists. They screamed in agony, clutching the bloody stumps with withered, dirty fingers. One by one, the pathetic bawling stopped until only the champion was left. His emaciated head had strange runes carved into it, along with his baroque shield.
Michael picked it up, a master piece of adamantium. A small sign was emblazoned on the right hand corner.
The sign of the blood angels.
The wings of Sanguinis. This was obviously a blood angel relic, and an idea cropped up into his mind.Could this lead him to the blade he so fervently sought out? A more pressing thought presented itseld.
How had the thrice damned heretic gained access to it?
"Throne above"
He turned to see Brother Baoil, a devastator staring at the shield. His head was home to a magnificent helm, found on a daemon world in their eternal search. It was whispered that this helm was a gift from sanguinis to his accursed brother, whos name they did not speak. It currently was illumanted by a blue light, which was growing brighter every second. It seared Michaels eyes. By the time his helms vision had auto-adjusted, Baoils head was gone, replaced my a molten mush. On the floor, the heretical champion prepared to take another shot.
Roaring in fury, with the name of the emperor on his lips Michael picked the unbeliever above his head, and threw him through the wreckage of a nearby tank. He smashed through two times, and landed with a sickening thud on a pile of debris. Horizonta rain hosed the area, and strafing, repeating guns churned and threw up the mud.
Michael walked through it all as a man walks through a light breeze, and approached the cultist champion. He was coughing, dried blood staining his once proud imperial uniform.Michael knelt by him and pulled of his helm, revealing a handsome face, marred with a scar which started from his brow, and curved down his chin. A gift from Kharn.
The heretic stared up at him, fear mixing with disdain. He recoiled as Michales deep vpoce sliced through him.
"Tell me where you got this shield. And I will ease your death".
The heretic needed little encouragement.
"New Badab" He snarled, baring vicious sharpened teeth.
Michael smiled. The hunt was on.

Lol, dont worry I know I dont have the whole thing planned out but it will get interesting when or if he gets to Abaddon, and thanks for telling me he the despoiler not the destroyer(dont know were I got destroyer from).

For a Random thing that was really good, defiantly want to use your bit bout the scar that Kharn gave him(is that ok?). Also, I think Im going to go with a power sword for him, even know he is an outcast he still was once the Primarch champ so they let him keep the blade Sanguinis gave him. Thank you, awesome bit there

Perhaps one of the eldar companions was introduced because he tried to kill the other team members (the ranger is a best fit for this) but was then stopped, captured and convinced to join the quest??

Random suggestion: since you're putting Eldar in the same arena(pun possibly intended) as SMs, consider injecting some unofficial "martial arts fluff"--basically, make it such that the more elite Eldar warriors master some esoteric martial art that allows for their physical forms to be enhanced by their "spiritual power"(not necessarily psychic power, but "strength of soul").

It could be manifested in passive manners(enhanced strength), or maybe limited use, like feats of strength.

For instance, a Banshee Exarch can confidently engage an Assault Marine Sergeant equipped with power fists by "expending his/her spiritual energy", but can can only do so for a limited amount time before said points are expended and need to "recharge" through meditation or some such.

A radical idea, I know, but w/e.

Maybe you got the destroyer from typhus, the master of ownage
Take any ideas which you want-maybe he could be friends with Dante? Dante wanted him to return as a normal BA champ, but the other captains, the inquisition and other succesor chapters voted against it.
Heck, Dante is the oldest non-chaos space marine, at 1,100 years old. He must at the very least respect this 10,000 year old champion.
Or maybe Dante really hates him.

Hum, I don't know, what about an eldar force which its half has becomed dark eldar, and they want to purge them? This ,as secondary background.

lol that's pretty good idea karimabuseer your just freakin spitin good ideas out like nothing and thank you. Well the thing is Im not really focusing too much on the eldar, kinda just want it to be that Michale and this eldar ranger and leads to her capture and eventually(threw all the beatings and trying to escape they found out tho they are different species they have more in common then meets the eye and the whole fall in love thing. Im going to go more depth bout it in the story they have a longer history together then you think at first, also the reasoning behind the eldar showing up is of course there mysterious ways. Its all good ideas bout doing the eldar different but the only really thing different going to do from norm fluff is the 11th Death Company and Michael, dont want everyone in the universe getting super charged all the sudden

Also Ive just realized I think I have this in the wrong Forum section, hopefully not a problem if it is, is there anyway to move it to the proper place? Or will I just have to copy paste the stuff?

It's fine in the background section imo

K, thank you, so anyone else have any ideas? or what you think bout the idea?

this story needs tau battlesuits

It needs tau battlesuits...getting ripped apart! boo-yeah!

as long it has battlesuits i dont care !!!!!!
btw it needs nids

Woot, into the 41,000's we go ^^

Just a few points/theories/critisicms, whatever.

1: First off, totally cool the love interest idea, and you are correct she should be an Eldar Ranger. However, you should make the actual leading up to the whole thing in a very fraught way. I think you should make this new companies new mutations more pronounced and not so attractive (so their a bit farther away from 'Space Vampires' as possible) and it is these that makes the quintessentially no-human. You should have your main character still trying to act as a regular Astartes, trying to be accepted by the Imperium et al, and only in his darkest moment, when all hope has faded does the Ranger evetually see him as a kindred spirit. I'd avoid any ludicrous kinkiness and stick with a platonic respect and love.

2: As for his age, I do find that kind of iffy. His age does kind of nullify the traits of both Dante (the oldest living marine commander), Bjorn the Fell-handed (who actually did live alongside the Emperor in his day) and the Chaos Marines (who are still alive due to the warp). I know ou want him to be cool, but build up his own innate coolness. Instead of having known Sanguinius or having seen him, make it a fever-like gene memory. The BA are alot closer to the spirit of their Primarch than other chapters, and so due in part to his transformation, he could have a memory of one of his ancestors fighting along Sanguinius. In fact, you could really open that up and have the Ancestor speak to him throughout the story. This could draw him closer to the Eldar as well, as they are frequenlty in contact with their fallen brothers and sisters.

3: Slaying Kharn the first time, umn, I don't really imagine so. Sure, he could have fought and narrowly defeated Kharn (thus allowing him to maintain his scar) but I imagine Kharn would have survived. As for Kharn's death (which I imagine will be a big part in the HH novels) I imagine he actually died due to an obscene amount of firepower being levelled at him, all the while he's screaming at the cowards who refuse to come and face him. Also, don't take any hints from G.S. Goto, that man is a numpty with his multilazors!

4: Also, be very careful with stories that start in the actual 40K timeline and then move beyond it. I've been asked plenty since I started on this lovely forum to actually read peoples fluff and give opinions. And the honest opinion is don't make your characters overpowered and don't have them commiting galaxy-changing events because generally that's boring. Too often you see stories of the "Most Powerful Marines Evar!!!", "Another Chaos God, even stronger than the others" and the worst of all "My Uber Primarch of the 2nd Legion who is the bestest one although noone talks about it funnily enough".

Dan Abnett is the best BA writer because he shies away from the major stuff, and works on the everyman and the smaller characters. Whilst his Iron Snakes book means nothing amidst the vast brutality of the 40K universe, it IS very important to the actual reader because it is interesting

There's my pennies worth ^^

Maybe throughout the story some of his troops slowly succumbed to the black rage and have to kill him or leave the crazed BA behind and when he gets the primach weapon finally he and a couple others are alive so the reader can get more attached to the other people instead of just michael.

Just my thoughts.

can i just ask?
what is this weapon exactly? is a gun? a vehicle? or perhaps a fortress?

It's a boanabardlement! Just kidding but yeah I'd like to know too. Also check out my story. The link is in my signature.

Thanks all for the help, sry its been awhile I ve been away in cali takin care some stuff and haven't had access to comp till recently, sadly I still havnt even begun on my story arrrg , hopefully start first chapter end of this month, have to find a job. Anyways really thanks Dark Lord, I wanted him to defeated Kharn but ur prob right but the heresy novels telling more bout that, I guess I could ask yall would you all be angry as a 40k fan if I put that in there that my character fell Kharn?

Also, I think I could get away with him be older cause he(and his fellow afflicted Marines) is listed in the Imperial records as lost in the warp, kinda like blood angels dirty secret also they are only ever out in the outer systems(halo stars, etc.) or thats basically what I was going to use as back story for them. Also thanks for bringin up the point bout overpowered guys, I think what im going for is overpowered(is it?) i tryed to balance it out by they dont receive aid from anyone there kinda doing there own thing, no reinforcements and make do with what they have, figured that would balance out there crazy increased abilities, also thought of maybe there all slowly succumbing to and even worse variant of black rage? IDK didnt really wanna go that route.

Also Dark Lord dont want to step on ur toes but could possible go from current 40k timeline into yours? Just a thought and of course wit ur permission, think it would be awsome and kinda a perfect timeline for what im going for.