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Made in us
Unhealthy Competition With Other Legions






The Hells Liberators had deployed to the world of Terrisax to fight the Chaos scourge there. Meeting some resistance at the drop zone but few casualties were taken, they were able to establish a foothold. They needed to act quickly, at the moment they had the element of surprise, but it wouldn't last. Drias ordered four units to clear the bridge leading to a mass group of shrines to Nurgle.

''Ferrus squad your leading, you will be backed by the Ogryns, Carran and Gorbat squad, your with them as well, move out we need to get that bridge clear if we want to get the tanks through'' Drias barked.

''Yes sir, you heard the man'' Desech yelled ''move out''

Ferrus squad and the others approached the bridge, it was covered in a thick fog, dark green clouds swirled across the entire bridge, they stopped in front of it not sure what to expect.

''be on your guard men, whatever is ahead of us it can’t be friendly'' Desech looked at the men before him, and entered the fog they all followed with their auto-guns ready.
they started to hear groans that sounded like dyeing men and the tortured screams of victims being mutilated. The dark presence of shadows revealed creatures circled them around the fog.

''Hold your fire men, don't shoot until they are in your sights'' Desech yelled.

''Cammmmmaannnnnderrrrrrr'' Stansfield whined with a worried look on his face.

''What is it Stansfield'' Desech replied impatiently, Waiting for one of the shadows to reveal itself.

''They sound unhappy, kind of like that time I stubbed my toe.'' Stansfield shuddered recalling the horrific memory of his past.

''Yes i remember, you cried for a half hour'' Desech laughed at the thought.

''IT HURT'' Stansfield protested
suddenly the daemons emerged from the fog charging them, their warped Grey skin flayed off as the as shells from auto-guns ripped into them. They fell dead, but more kept charging they looked like skinny Grey skeletons with skin covering them.

''HOLD THEM BACK'' Desech yelled, spraying bullets at the daemons, but they kept coming. Gorbat squad pulled out their chain-swords and charged them in close combat cutting through them and toppling over their body's one after another. Suddenly the daemons mobbed them dragging guardsmen into the fog. Oplios screamed as he was dragged by three of the creatures. Lanerus pulled two laspistols and charged the creatures’ one of them threw Oplios on the ground at the sight of Lanerus pursuing them, Lanerus raised his pistol and fired hitting the creature dead center in the head spraying rotted flesh across the ground.

Two charged him from each side. He fired with both pistols killing one, and wounding the other. Lanerus called out as one of the daemons jumped on his back, he fell forward onto the ground. The monster came at him with its razor sharp claws; just before the claw slashed open his neck. Carberus grabbed the monster and tore it in two. Oplios was wrestling with one of the daemons; he scrambled for his pistol and blasted the monster in the jaw blowing rotted flesh across him. He pushed the monster aside turning his gaze to see the guardsmen falling back in formation; he hurried to rejoin Ferrus squad.

The assault squads had returned to the foothold after very thoroughly cleansing the bridge of all Chaos activity.
''I assume what i requested has been carried out Captain.'' Drias said sternly studying Desech.

''It has sir although not without resistance, we lost some of Gorbat squad and two men from Carran. But now the tanks can get through without issue.''

''Ample work captain i am impressed. Get the tanks ready to assault the shrines, we have a break in the enemy's defenses, we must hurry'' Drias ordered the crew man.

''Will we be with the tanks in the Assault sir?'' Desech asked

''No you will not, we are being attacked from two areas making troop movement difficult, I won’t have it.''

''What would you have us do sir'' Desech replied obediently

''Why kill them naturally. One of the camps is located at an the ruins of a chapel to the god-emperor to the north, the other near a bunker to the west illuminate them then join up with us at the shrines. This is of the utmost importance. I trust you won’t fail me. You will be accompanied by Carran squad''

''yes sir. Men form up on me. Amulius you will lead Carran squad and take the chapel. Ferrus squad and I will take the bunker. Move out''

''For the Emperor'' Amulius said grabbing Desechs wrist in a hand shake.

''For the Emperor'' Desech repeated shaking his hand.

Ferrus squad had taken them by surprise; the cultist didn't even have the chance to retaliate. Lanerus made good use of his sniper, covering the rest of the squad as they charged to massacre the unsuspecting cultist it was over in minutes. They never stood a chance.

''Do you think Amulius had this much ease in taking the chapel'' Carberus laughed

''I assume so. Ferrus squad return to the base and wait me there'' Desech ordered

''where are you going Captain'' Oplios asked

'' I'm going to get Amulius.'' Desech replied

Desech approached the chapel. Seeing bodies of cultist strewn about. Blood splatter from the dead going in all directions. The smell of the fresh corpses filled the air. Desech walked through the ruins of the chapel and saw Amulius kneeling before the alter shaking.
''The Emperor protects, the Emperor protects, the Emperor protects.'' Amulius kept repeating.

''Amulius what’s going on here and where’s Carran squad'' Desech demanded

''I heard him, the Emperor spoke to me'' he said turning, Amulius was the palest Desech has ever seen him

''Where is Carran squad'' Desech repeated with anger in his voice

''He said the imperium was a lie, he said we are all rotting, we are all in a state of Decay!'' Amulius rambled with a crazy obsession in his voice

''You Murdered them didn't you!'' Desech roared.

A grin crept across Amulius’s face ''He told me if I slay you I can be saved, if I cleanse the blind then he will make me immortal''

Desech revved up his chainsword and charged him. Amulius laughed as he pulled his blade. Desech jumped at him, Amulius side stepped and smashed the hilt of his sword into Desechs face. Desech fell backwards and rolled to the side as Amulius stabbed at him, Desech swung at him from the ground. Amulius skillfully avoided the blade and grabbed his wrist

''We don’t have to do this, you could join me we could both be immortal. We could remain brothers.'' Amulius said staring into Desechs eyes
'
'No we can’t, you gave brotherhood up when you forsook the word of the Emperor'' Desech yelled tackling Amulius to the ground both of them throwing punches at each other.

''YOU FOOL, IT WASN'T THE EMPEROR, WHO SPOKE TO YOU IT WAS NURGLE'' Desech screamed. But Amulius was deaf to anything he had to say. Desech pinned him on the ground and picked up a stone

''Last chance Amulius, don't make me kill you'' Amulius looked up at him and spit in his face. Desech looked down seeing nothing of his former friend. He smashed the stone into his head until the corpse no longer resembled anything of Amulius, Just a bloody mess. Desech returned to camp having killed the traitor in their midst.

''Commander are you alright'' Heinrich yelled horrified at the sight of Desech stumbling into camp covered in cuts and bruises with dried blood covering him.
Lanerus and Carberus rushed over to him alarmed
''What happened to you and where’s Amulius'' Heinrich questioned Desech turned his face from them

''Amulius and Carran squad were killed. There was more resistance than we expected, they are dead the chapel is clear now though.'' Desech said not wanting them to know the fate of the once good man who served with them. Each man of Ferrus squad lowered their head at the news of their comrade’s death.

'' We have to meet up with Drias, they have no doubt cleared out the shrines by now'' said Desech. The men left to join their fearless leader in whatever else was to come in the future.

 
   
Made in gr
Skillful Swordsman




Greece

the whole thing with Ammulius is like a remake from Horus rising. the scene just is the same with the book.
moreover, during some points, in the beginnings, i could understand whether they were marines or IG.
finally there is no punctuation. despite that, yor writting was not so bad.
keep practising. a good idea would be to give more background to your characters.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/09/23 13:45:28


''Whoever controls the past, controls the future.''
''Whoever controls the present, controls the past''
George Orwell, 1984

WFB:
Empire

Games in 8th with empire:
wins: 1
loses: 1
draws: 2

 
   
Made in us
Tzeentch Aspiring Sorcerer Riding a Disc






The Claw

I think that this was good, just like rockabill-gr said. PUNCTUATE. Also, you do need to clarify whether or not they are guard or specce merehens.

Mael-Dannan Ravenous Angels Tomb Kings Protectorate of Menoth
halonachos wrote:Mordo is evil, the cute walrus wearing a monocle is just a disguise for the evils within the confines of the avatar box.
darksage wrote:And then the darkness approached the computer screen ready to unveil untold horrors on millions of unsuspecting innocents... Some knew him as the bringer of terror...some knew him as the spawn of all things evil...some knew him as the walrus, but then their lives would account for nothing, for they would be dead in seconds of the words leaving their lips.The walrus has posted, prepare for the death of worlds.
 
   
Made in us
Unhealthy Competition With Other Legions






I clearly referenced that they were imperial guard sorry i said they were imperial guard in the first part. i dident realize the first time i wrote this i put space marines

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/09/25 18:07:48


 
   
Made in us
Tzeentch Aspiring Sorcerer Riding a Disc






The Claw

...and this is'nt finished because? Damn it, if you don't finish this, then I will.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/11/07 03:01:06


Mael-Dannan Ravenous Angels Tomb Kings Protectorate of Menoth
halonachos wrote:Mordo is evil, the cute walrus wearing a monocle is just a disguise for the evils within the confines of the avatar box.
darksage wrote:And then the darkness approached the computer screen ready to unveil untold horrors on millions of unsuspecting innocents... Some knew him as the bringer of terror...some knew him as the spawn of all things evil...some knew him as the walrus, but then their lives would account for nothing, for they would be dead in seconds of the words leaving their lips.The walrus has posted, prepare for the death of worlds.
 
   
 
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