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This a story I wrote when I was bored. Enjoy!


It has been a long and bloody year since the end of the great war. The sons of Sigmar though victorious have lost many great heroes for a peace that has not settled well. Warriors of Chaos still taint the lands of the Empire, raiding villages and slaughtering its inhabitants that have not succumbed to the madness of chaos. Small warbands, though leaderless, still harry the free peoples of men. Detachments of Troops have been despatched to stop these merciless reavers before they cause more carnage…

The small contingent consisting of Empire state troops and handgunners wandered cautiously through the murky forest, broken trees barring their way scattered like bodies flung after a mortar explosion. The patrol was led by Otto van Huus, an accomplished veteran captain from the wars against chaos. As the company quietly walked through the endless, leaf-strewn paths, their presence did not go unnoticed. A lone wood elf waywatcher watched them carefully, wary of intruders in this forest, sacred to Athel Loren. Quick as a blink, a twig snapped. The young captain held up his hand and signalled for the patrol to stop, cautious of ambush. As the frightened troops looked around worriedly, there was an eery silence in the glade. Suddenly out of nowhere a single dark warrior appeared, clad in black armour with a menacing barbed helm. He was quickly joined by more troops, emerging out of the mist like death itself. These terrifying spectres rapidly increased and quickly surrounded the company and waited like a cobra in the grass, ready to strike. The captain lifted his great hammer into the air with his strong left arm and declared “ You will hear me sons of Sigmar! For the Emperor!” and charged bravely at the black warriors, hammer aloft, with his men close behind swords drawn, handguns loaded. The dark traitors held their ground until the last moment before striding into the fray. As the two sides closed in on each other, swords raised, axes grasped, the waywatcher looked on with interest and fitted a single arrow to his bow. The sound of the impact from the troops was tremendous. Bloodcurdling screams howled through the night like a demented banshee, ravenous claws raked tender flesh, a gorger seeking prey. Handguns fired and let loose a mighty salvo which felled several dark warriors but was not enough to stop the march of chaos. The captain looked around still swinging his hammer but with a heavy heart he saw that his own troops were being slaughtered. Young faces looked at him pleadingly, streaked with blood before breathing their last and falling onto the ground, lifeless. The captain himself was in trouble. He had taken wounds himself and was rapidly losing strength. He cried suddenly “To me!” before a large figure from behind knocked him to the ground. The captain tried to pull himself up but an ironclad foot pinned him down. He was surrounded by black warriors until the wall of darkness parted and an other warrior strode through, wearing a blood red suit of armour and a great sword of Khorne. The nightmarish figure stood next to the captain and raised his sword to plunge it down into the captain’s heart. His sword was about to knock the life force out of the captain before he suddenly jerked forward and tumbled to the ground, a feathered arrow prutuding out of his neck. Pandemonium erupted. Warriors picked up their weapons, confused and looked around searching for their mysterious adversary. As the looked around they quickly saw the waywatcher running towards them bow in hand, firing of salvos of doom unbound. Dark warriors dropped like flies whilst charging towards the newfound enemy, the cannon fodder of the gods. As the first of the deadly wave got close the wood elf slung his bow over his back and with a flourish drew two hand weapons which he stabbed and sliced at the dwindling enemy, whilst dodging nimbly from their clumsy blows. He threw one of his weapons at a warrior behind him, which struck cruelly in between the iron face guard. The figure writhed in pain before ceasing movement forever. The silent elf now wielded his weapon with both hands, swiftly eliminating all the warriors that remained. After that there was a silence with the stench of death in the air. The waywatcher sheathed his bloody sword and nimbly ran over to the captain who was moaning softly, amid the carcasses and covered in gore. His saviour took out a laced hankerchief and mopped at the captain’s brow and then softly dragged the body out into a glade in the forest. He looked for a way to go but found none as chaos reinforcements were rapidly approaching them. The elf looked around desperately before looking up and flinging the captain to one side. Suddenly a mighty Bloodthirster of Khorne landed directly on the unfortunate elf, crushing him instantly. The daemon howled a deafening feral scream which shook the forest for miles around, pleased of the blood spilt for his god. It spread its colossal wings out to their full extent and menacingly advanced on the captain. With all his strength the captain lifted himself up, his bloody hammer in his left hand slumping towards the ground. As he stood there he feebly clutched his amulet of the cross, which started to glow orange and radiant. A sudden beam of light from the sky engulfed the captain, which seemed to give him new strength and hope. With a cry of “For the Emperor!” he ran, hammer aloft at the daemon…

Well?

Any thoughts?

ANYONE?????

Please!

Pretty Please!

What i read was great but i could only get through the first third of the Titanic second paragraph, split it up a bit, makes it easier to read and as a by product ups the tension. Oh btw Quintuple posting is not a recommended way to get comments :-P... I commented because i like the title 'read my story and smile'.

Thanks I will post it again split up. Means a lot to me that someone likes it

I have reposted it with it split up a bit

It has been a long and bloody year since the end of the great war. The sons of Sigmar though victorious have lost many great heroes for a peace that has not settled well. Warriors of Chaos still taint the lands of the Empire, raiding villages and slaughtering its inhabitants that have not succumbed to the madness of chaos. Small warbands, though leaderless, still harry the free peoples of men. Detachments of Troops have been despatched to stop these merciless reavers before they cause more carnage…

The small contingent consisting of Empire state troops and handgunners wandered cautiously through the murky forest, broken trees barring their way scattered like bodies flung after a mortar explosion. The patrol was led by Otto van Huus, an accomplished veteran captain from the wars against chaos. As the company quietly walked through the endless, leaf-strewn paths, their presence did not go unnoticed. A lone wood elf waywatcher watched them carefully, wary of intruders in this forest, sacred to Athel Loren. Quick as a blink, a twig snapped. The young captain held up his hand and signalled for the patrol to stop, cautious of ambush. As the frightened troops looked around worriedly, there was an eery silence in the glade. Suddenly out of nowhere a single dark warrior appeared, clad in black armour with a menacing barbed helm. He was quickly joined by more troops, emerging out of the mist like death itself. These terrifying spectres rapidly increased and quickly surrounded the company and waited like a cobra in the grass, ready to strike. The captain lifted his great hammer into the air with his strong left arm and declared “ You will hear me sons of Sigmar! For the Emperor!” and charged bravely at the black warriors, hammer aloft, with his men close behind swords drawn, handguns loaded.

The dark traitors held their ground until the last moment before striding into the fray. As the two sides closed in on each other, swords raised, axes grasped, the waywatcher looked on with interest and fitted a single arrow to his bow. The sound of the impact from the troops was tremendous. Bloodcurdling screams howled through the night like a demented banshee, ravenous claws raked tender flesh, a gorger seeking prey. Handguns fired and let loose a mighty salvo which felled several dark warriors but was not enough to stop the march of chaos. The captain looked around still swinging his hammer but with a heavy heart he saw that his own troops were being slaughtered. Young faces looked at him pleadingly, streaked with blood before breathing their last and falling onto the ground, lifeless. The captain himself was in trouble. He had taken wounds himself and was rapidly losing strength. He cried suddenly “To me!” before a large figure from behind knocked him to the ground.

The captain tried to pull himself up but an ironclad foot pinned him down. He was surrounded by black warriors until the wall of darkness parted and an other warrior strode through, wearing a blood red suit of armour and a great sword of Khorne. The nightmarish figure stood next to the captain and raised his sword to plunge it down into the captain’s heart. His sword was about to knock the life force out of the captain before he suddenly jerked forward and tumbled to the ground, a feathered arrow prutuding out of his neck. Pandemonium erupted. Warriors picked up their weapons, confused and looked around searching for their mysterious adversary. As the looked around they quickly saw the waywatcher running towards them bow in hand, firing of salvos of doom unbound. Dark warriors dropped like flies whilst charging towards the newfound enemy, the cannon fodder of the gods. As the first of the deadly wave got close the wood elf slung his bow over his back and with a flourish drew two hand weapons which he stabbed and sliced at the dwindling enemy, whilst dodging nimbly from their clumsy blows. He threw one of his weapons at a warrior behind him, which struck cruelly in between the iron face guard. The figure writhed in pain before ceasing movement forever. The silent elf now wielded his weapon with both hands, swiftly eliminating all the warriors that remained. After that there was a silence with the stench of death in the air. The waywatcher sheathed his bloody sword and nimbly ran over to the captain who was moaning softly, amid the carcasses and covered in gore. His saviour took out a laced hankerchief and mopped at the captain’s brow and then softly dragged the body out into a glade in the forest. He looked for a way to go but found none as chaos reinforcements were rapidly approaching them. The elf looked around desperately before looking up and flinging the captain to one side. Suddenly a mighty Bloodthirster of Khorne landed directly on the unfortunate elf, crushing him instantly. The daemon howled a deafening feral scream which shook the forest for miles around, pleased of the blood spilt for his god. It spread its colossal wings out to their full extent and menacingly advanced on the captain. With all his strength the captain lifted himself up, his bloody hammer in his left hand slumping towards the ground. As he stood there he feebly clutched his amulet of the cross, which started to glow orange and radiant. A sudden beam of light from the sky engulfed the captain, which seemed to give him new strength and hope. With a cry of “For the Emperor!” he ran, hammer aloft at the daemon…

Pretty good, thumbs up. If i'm honest i think the captain is screwed lol, i don't care what magic item he's got...

Yeah thats why it has a cliffhanger ending. The Bloodthrister will probably accidentally tread on him and squish him. Thanks for support though

Please do not bump your threads. Thanks!

What do you mean?

Brother Hestapheus wrote:Well?

Brother Hestapheus wrote:Any thoughts?

Brother Hestapheus wrote:ANYONE?????

Brother Hestapheus wrote:Please!

Brother Hestapheus wrote:Pretty Please!

This is called "bumping" and it refers to posting without contributing for the purpose of getting attention. Please don't do it anymore. Thanks!

I'm sorry. I'm just new to this forum so i'm just getting the hang of it. Sorry it will not happen again :(

No prob!

Also, your story is a pretty good rough draft. An easy next step is breaking it into paragraphs for ease of reading.

Thanks

You just wrote what happens in the trailer for Warhammer: Mark of Chaos. You then had the audacity to spam this?!?

That's lazy and unoriginal. Get your own ideas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3pOljQqvX8

To be fair, I think writing out a narrative of something you've seen in audio-visual format is a pretty good exercise for a beginning writer.

In fact, I may try it myself. It could even make for an interesting competition, now that I think of it.

Thanks for the support Manchu!!

Manchu wrote:To be fair, I think writing out a narrative of something you've seen in audio-visual format is a pretty good exercise for a beginning writer.

Possibly, but touting it as original fiction isn't.

Very true. I shall retitle the thread.

I'm sorry if I caused any inconvience :(

I know that in art school one of the best ways to learn how to paint is solely from copying others,

and as a student in a literature/creative writing program I also see manyof our prompts evolving around taking something that has already been written and making it your own. That is exactly what you did here, and it is an interesting way to explore your abilities as a writer.

would love to see anything more you do in regards to writing!

Manchu wrote:In fact, I may try it myself. It could even make for an interesting competition, now that I think of it.

A story writing competition. This could be loads of fun

but how are we going to arrange this?