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What an epic battle it was. 1500 points Orks vrs Dark Eldar. Standard force allocations.

Now Everyone knows how orks play right? Orks are meant to die in large numbers and often. 1500 points should be at LEAST 100 boys and support. Dang DA template weapons can put the hurt onto small units and you have to get into close combat so you don't get slaughtered in the open. Well I tried a different tactic. It would either be the most brilliant Ork move ever or I would be dead by the end of the 3rd turn.

The DA army I faced was heavily mobile. I counted 4 sailboat looking things and only 1 foot unit on the board. 6 of these evil jetbike guys that I had seen drop We declared and i found that one boat had a unit in it including some old hagg named lilith. I went to the book rack at the store and looked up lilith and almost puked. Who in there right mind would give some skinny skank 7 close combat attacks and all these special rules! GW kiss my green butt!

My unit did not inspire fear as an ork horde should. I went with 2 HQ and 2 troop choices Gutzmech and Thraka, the great prophet of the WAAAG himself would field with troop choices. Thats right. I fielded 21 models and a blue truck! 20 nobs with power claws and big choppas. Cybork bodies all around and 10 of them on bikes. Hit hard hit often!

My first move at flat out got me within what I thought was 25 inches. The bikes led and the truck followed. He missiled and lanced and templates flew at the orks. His first shooting turn resulted in 9 1 rolls on the dice! yes it was going to be a great day! only 2 Bikers down but unfortunatly one of the special weapons takes out the big boss biker himself- Gutzmek. ! turn in shooting phase and I am down an HQ!
Then the witches and lilith unloaded from the sailboat. I had strung out my bikes to minimize template doom but now at his assault phase this was going to hurt. Due to an incredible bad roll of dice by my opponent I actually got out of the assualt phase with only one more biker down But being so strung out only 4 bikes could swing and only 2 had PK's. I rolled much better than the other guy and killed 2 witches. I WON THE ASSAULT PHASE YAAY!

Now onto turn 2. It was obvious to my opponent that I had decided to pile in everything together and keep in assault to eliminate those dang missles and lances. He had moved his jetbikes close and i knew he would wait for my to unload the truck and then fly over them. What he did not realize that I was not married to the idea and could change tactics when presented with an option. My bikers are in pile in but the truck was free to move. I starter with a BEEP BEEP BEEP and my opponent looked at me funny. I guess he did not know that Ork trucks came with DOT approved reverse warning beepers. I flat out backed the truck up within 4 inches of the jet bikes and unloaded THRAKA and his Nobs MOB! DOOM TIME!

I am a big fan of combi weapons and the scorcha rules. I had 3 in my mob and they killed off 4 of the 6 bikes. Now what to do what to do. I could let them try a leadership test but if it passed I would see them bikers up my butt. I could assault now but could not get back into the truck if i did this. I decided to end the bikers NOW rather than have to deal with them again. Thraka was in base contact so I had him do his 7 Pk's. Bye Bye Bikers! Now I have to wait and see who is left after all these missiles and lances and whatnot get thrown.

His turn 2 results in 2 dead Nobs in Thrakas group and one of the blast templates results in a pinning test. Lilith and her gang again throw a buncha 1's and only kill 1 Biker and would one more. My big bike choppas kill a witch and the Pk's kill 2 more and then the painboy throws down. 4 hits! Awsome. 4 poisoned hits now to wound......... I THREW 4 FREAKIN ONES! We looked it up- 1 in 2600 chance or some such dreck. Made me feel so much better! But still the DA lost the assault and then LOST THE LEADERSHIP TEST. RETREAT! O wait i do not want retreat I want assault pile in to stay. If they run away I may have broken contact and that was NOT in the plans.
Turn 3 WAAAAAGH!
Thrakas unit gets back in the truck and goes back after the bikers. I think I may need them to finish the witches as the bikers were dropping hard so i moved them into some cover but close enough to get into assault range next turn. The bikers assault and the results go bad for me. I am down to 2 bikers but the witch unit is down to 4. I am fearless due to the waahg and the witches pass the test.Then my opponent does something that I can not believe. He parks a sailboaty thing right where i just slaughtered the jet bikes. THE SAME PLACE! The truck with Thraka dodges missles with it's cover saves and only 2 lances hit. Both result in can not shoot. So what it's a bus I could care less that it can not shoot.
TURN 4
I back the truck up and unload the mob. I have nothing that shoots that will scratch this razorwing thing but i have some PK's. Come lets dance!. He had moved flat out so i was hitting on a 5 but I also was dropping 16 dice. 4 hits 2 pens and it is Wrecked!
The bikers are all dead. The witches get back in the boat and hover off. They clear a tree and settle down to watch the missiles and lances pound the Thraka Mob. When the dust clears I have 4 orks left on the table.
Turn 5
We get into the truck and WE RUN RIGHT AT THAT BITCH LILITH AND HER SAILBOAT! RAAAARG!
We park the bus and unload. The sailboat shimmers with some sort of field but Thrakka walks up with his much depleted mob and assaults the boat. The result sucks. No damage and lilith and 3 witches climb out of the sailboat. But whats this? There is a tree in the way? They have ta get off on the other side? This little thing would save the day. After the barge moves Lilith is to far away to get into base contact with the Nobs Mob. She will swing but not use these evil powers . At the end of the Assault phase lillith and the witches are dead. I have 2 nobs and Thrakka on the field. They are in cover behind a tree. Everyone has 1 wound left- on to turn 6

Turn 6- I roll a 4 and the game is OVER. Orks win 5 to 2

What a great battle for a noob like me to win. Great fun and i have done what only 3 other members of our 12 people Wednesday night warhammer 40k unit have done- I Killed Lilith!

I don't think your army was legal. Wazzdakka lets you take a unit of Warbikers as Troops, not a unit of Nob Warbikers. So, you actually had 1 Troop choice (Nobs taken as Troops thanks to Ghaz) and one Elite Choice (Nob Warbikers). Still, good work taking out the DE. That's what I like about Orks. You can win with any theme army, as long as you pick a theme and stick with it full force. It's when you try to do "balanced" type armies that Orks get into trouble.

Well thanks for raining on my noob parade man 8*/
I will check the rules and it seems like something I would overlook being a new guy.

You really need to slow down when typing these up man :

I know you are really excited about your Elf stomp, but I had a lot of trouble following what was going on.

One thing I noticed is that you "flat outed backwards" and it sounds like you assaulted out of the trukk after... which is also illegal.

You can't do anything after flat out move, you can of course still go 12 inches get out, assault. But once you go 24 you can't disembark or shoot or nothin.

Don't worry about it too much though man. When I first started, I played LOTS of games where I played something totally wrong, only to find out later. Just learn and remember for next game, and continue to have fun. That's all that's really important.

Wow i am going to have to opoligize to my opponent. It looks like I made several illegal operations in my game. Both uf us use a local " rule guy " who is like the groups go to guy in rule stuff. Guess i better brush up on the big expensive book i bought!

Yup but don't beat yourself up to much, Apologise and learn, read the big expensive book, make sure you get your money's worth out of it before GW change it and force you to buy another one...

maybe it would be worth the time to type your reports up in a word processor application then copy and paste them to dakka after you get someone to proof read them as there was quite a lot of spelling errors in there that were confusing even to me..