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Flashing lights. Screams of terror. Orders being yelled out. Everything Pvt. Jake Ryans saw was like it
was in slow motion. A gunshot that almost hit him slowly penetrated the mud in his squad's trench. The blood of
his teammate slowly leaked across the blood-and rain soaked ground. The mouth of Cpt. Yankowich slowly opened wide
and the slowly closed again as he yelled out an order Jake couldn't even hear over the sound of tanks tracks rolling, gunshots and screams, the sound of war. Then, as fast as a bullet leaving a gun barrel, everything went into its normal speed.

"We have to get the hell 'outta here now!"was yelled by a troop not far away from Jake.
"Their tanks are almost here, we're gonna get crushed under the tracks or shot Captain!" yelled someone else. The captain seemed to be losing his temper. Now that Jake thought about it, Cpt. Yankowich always looked like he was losing his temper.

"Well if you wanna run out of the trench and get shot down while running like a coward you weaselly little maggot, be my guest."He yelled. Nobody ran. Well, he never mentioned that they'd be shot down by the enemies, Jake thought. He would have been smiling because of that thought if he weren't on the middle of a battlefield. Plus, it seemed like there were only two choices. Run and die, or stay and die. He blinked his eyes and tried to get the mud out of his eyelashes. If he would try to stroke them out it would only add to the amount of mud already in his face.

"Sir, if I may?" Jake said, and to his surprise, very calmly. Yankowich nodded.
"If we don’t get out of here now we'll get killed, if do run without any covering fire we'll die as well." He thought carefully before saying what he was about say, chose every word for itself.
"So why don’t we communicate with the trenches that are behind us,Sir? If the higher trenches give us covering fire we could retreat safely to them and make more use than we would if we wait here. Honestly, if the tanks get here with us still dug in, they would roll over us and there's no use in dead soldiers, sir?"
The captains face became one big frown. You might have thought someone med him eat liquid lead and then gave a good kick to his private parts.
"Well, private," he yelled while his face turned more red by the second. "if you really wanna communicate with the upper trenches go ahead. But as a side note, we are the ones with the RPG's, not them. Can you tell me what you think a rain of bullets will do the tanks? They might slow down the soldiers, sure I'll give your pea-sized brain credit for thinking that far, but the tanks will just blow us to pieces before we even take the first step once we're outta here." The captain was right. Only problem was, the RPG's we're out of ammo.

In order to get more ammo they would have to get a shipment from behind the gates which was as close to impossible as it could. The 508th company was to the government like dirt on their shoes. And even if they would get the snobbed and rich to send out a runner he'd probably be shot to his last particles before getting to them. They were on their own, like so many times before, and had to get out of the shittiest situation on their own, like so many times before. A trooper named Nick something yelled out.
"Sir, I think it would be best if we just.." He didn't get to finish the sentence. A shot to his head, from the left side to right, straight through. Jake felt like rock boulders were being thrown at him when the blood splattered on his bright green uniform. Well, it was bright green before the battle began. Now it was covered with both dried up and moist blood, none of it his own, dirt and drenched it rain. Plus the newly gained brain splatter of his former teammate.

"Okay then, get a radio signal going asking for covering fire while we retreat!" Yelled the captain. He hadn't even finished his sentence when one of the troopers started running while yelling out the order. He had taking about twenty steps, Jake counted, when he was shot o the side of his chest three times. Jake heard one loud moan and then the trooper silenced. But his message got trough and another soldier started running instead, his body bent like he was an old man, yelling out the same order.

Jake stood up and fired three rounds, then crouched behind the safe of the trench again. His whole body was on fire, he felt like he hadn't slept for a long time and this was only the sixteenth hour of the defense. How in the world did the traitors and outlaws get here so fast without anyone noticing? Well, it was to late to think about that now. Now it was about surviving. As Jake stood up again and shot some rounds the trooper came back.
"The upper trenches are gonna give us covering fire in fifteen minutes sir!" He was young, not a day older than 19 , Jake thought.
"Well then, lets get ready to run!"Yankowich yelled.

Those fifteen minutes felt years. Jake was exhausted. He wasn't sure he would make it, running at this point the twenty meters to the next trench felt to Jake like he was supposed to run to the next star system. Training camp was hard, but in the field it was different. How so? When you’re in training your mind isn't always focused on the chance that you might very possibly get killed. When you’re in the training camp you don't see your teammates get shot. When you’re in training camp you don’t get your teammates brain on your uniform. When you’re in training camp the heat of the battle doesn't temper with your sense of judgment, or sanity for that matter. Jake's thoughts were interrupted by Yankowich's yell.
"Lets go, lets go, lets go!"

The world slowed down again. Jake felt like it took an hour to get out of the trench. Five steps. Looked to the side and saw two troopers get shot down, seeing their faces frown and their mouth shaped in a scream, but he couldn't here it. Ten steps. His shoulders and legs feeling like someone drilled a hundred screws in them. More troopers getting shot down. He thought he heard on scream out 'Finally'. He looked to his left. The soldier’s face was in the mud, his back already covered in blood.

Fifteen steps. Half the way done. A limb flew past him, it was to fast for him to see what part it was, for that he was thankful. Twenty steps. Shrapnel of a helmet landed in his upper arm. The searing pain in his arm was awful, it went right into the bone. He looked behind himself. The trooper that was shot had his eyes wide open, his jaw blown of by a sniper. The mud behind him was no longer dark brown, it was dark red by all the blood. Will anyone survive the run?

Twenty five steps. Almost there, just a couple of more steps. His right arm had now lost all feeling. he had to hold his gun with his left hand. Two more steps and he was there, the relief was unbelievable. Then he felt something penetrate his left kneecap. Lots of awful pain, falling down on his knees, looking down.

A start to a story or whatever you'd call this I'm making.

Would you continue reading if I make more?

NOTE: English is not my first language, so typos and stuff like that I'll have to ask you to excuse.

Seems okay...
Need to break the larger paragraphs up a bit...

purplefood wrote:Seems okay...
Need to break the larger paragraphs up a bit...

Thanks Could you point me out were it would be best to break them?

gretar wrote:Flashing lights. Screams of terror. Orders being yelled out. Everything Pvt. Jake Ryans saw was like it
was in slow motion. A gunshot that almost hit him slowly penetrated the mud in his squad's trench. The blood of
his teammate slowly leaked across the blood-and rain soaked ground. The mouth of Cpt. Yankowich slowly opened wide
and the slowly closed again as he yelled out an order Jake couldn't even hear over the sound of tanks tracks rolling, gunshots and screams, the sound of war. Then, as fast as a bullet leaving a gun barrel, everything went into its normal speed.

"We have to get the hell 'outta here now!"was yelled by a troop not far away from Jake.
"Their tanks are almost here, we're gonna get crushed under the tracks or shot Captain!" yelled someone else. The captain seemed to be losing his temper. Now that Jake thought about it, Cpt. Yankowich always looked like he was losing his temper.

"Well if you wanna run out of the trench and get shot down while running like a coward you weaselly little maggot, be my guest."He yelled. Nobody ran. Well, he never mentioned that they'd be shot down by the enemies, Jake thought. He would have been smiling because of that thought if he weren't on the middle of a battlefield. Plus, it seemed like there were only two choices. Run and die, or stay and die. He blinked his eyes and tried to get the mud out of his eyelashes. If he would try to stroke them out it would only add to the amount of mud already in his face.

"Sir, if I may?" Jake said, and to his surprise, very calmly. Yankowich nodded.
"If we don’t get out of here now we'll get killed, if do run without any covering fire we'll die as well." He thought carefully before saying what he was about say, chose every word for itself.
"So why don’t we communicate with the trenches that are behind us,Sir? If the higher trenches give us covering fire we could retreat safely to them and make more use than we would if we wait here. Honestly, if the tanks get here with us still dug in, they would roll over us and there's no use in dead soldiers, sir?"
The captains face became one big frown. You might have thought someone med him eat liquid lead and then gave a good kick to his private parts.
"Well, private," he yelled while his face turned more red by the second. "if you really wanna communicate with the upper trenches go ahead. But as a side note, we are the ones with the RPG's, not them. Can you tell me what you think a rain of bullets will do the tanks? They might slow down the soldiers, sure I'll give your pea-sized brain credit for thinking that far, but the tanks will just blow us to pieces before we even take the first step once we're outta here." The captain was right. Only problem was, the RPG's we're out of ammo.

In order to get more ammo they would have to get a shipment from behind the gates which was as close to impossible as it could. The 508th company was to the government like dirt on their shoes. And even if they would get the snobbed and rich to send out a runner he'd probably be shot to his last particles before getting to them. They were on their own, like so many times before, and had to get out of the shittiest situation on their own, like so many times before. A trooper named Nick something yelled out.
"Sir, I think it would be best if we just.." He didn't get to finish the sentence. A shot to his head, from the left side to right, straight through. Jake felt like rock boulders were being thrown at him when the blood splattered on his bright green uniform. Well, it was bright green before the battle began. Now it was covered with both dried up and moist blood, none of it his own, dirt and drenched it rain. Plus the newly gained brain splatter of his former teammate.

"Okay then, get a radio signal going asking for covering fire while we retreat!" Yelled the captain. He hadn't even finished his sentence when one of the troopers started running while yelling out the order. He had taking about twenty steps, Jake counted, when he was shot o the side of his chest three times. Jake heard one loud moan and then the trooper silenced. But his message got trough and another soldier started running instead, his body bent like he was an old man, yelling out the same order.

Jake stood up and fired three rounds, then crouched behind the safe of the trench again. His whole body was on fire, he felt like he hadn't slept for a long time and this was only the sixteenth hour of the defense. How in the world did the traitors and outlaws get here so fast without anyone noticing? Well, it was to late to think about that now. Now it was about surviving. As Jake stood up again and shot some rounds the trooper came back.
"The upper trenches are gonna give us covering fire in fifteen minutes sir!" He was young, not a day older than 19 , Jake thought.
"Well then, lets get ready to run!"Yankowich yelled.

Those fifteen minutes felt years. Jake was exhausted. He wasn't sure he would make it, running at this point the twenty meters to the next trench felt to Jake like he was supposed to run to the next star system. Training camp was hard, but in the field it was different. How so? When you’re in training your mind isn't always focused on the chance that you might very possibly get killed. When you’re in the training camp you don't see your teammates get shot. When you’re in training camp you don’t get your teammates brain on your uniform. When you’re in training camp the heat of the battle doesn't temper with your sense of judgment, or sanity for that matter. Jake's thoughts were interrupted by Yankowich's yell.
"Lets go, lets go, lets go!"

The world slowed down again. Jake felt like it took an hour to get out of the trench. Five steps. Looked to the side and saw two troopers get shot down, seeing their faces frown and their mouth shaped in a scream, but he couldn't here it. Ten steps. His shoulders and legs feeling like someone drilled a hundred screws in them. More troopers getting shot down. He thought he heard on scream out 'Finally'. He looked to his left. The soldier’s face was in the mud, his back already covered in blood.

Fifteen steps. Half the way done. A limb flew past him, it was to fast for him to see what part it was, for that he was thankful. Twenty steps. Shrapnel of a helmet landed in his upper arm. The searing pain in his arm was awful, it went right into the bone. He looked behind himself. The trooper that was shot had his eyes wide open, his jaw blown of by a sniper. The mud behind him was no longer dark brown, it was dark red by all the blood. Will anyone survive the run?

Twenty five steps. Almost there, just a couple of more steps. His right arm had now lost all feeling. he had to hold his gun with his left hand. Two more steps and he was there, the relief was unbelievable. Then he felt something penetrate his left kneecap. Lots of awful pain, falling down on his knees, looking down.

A start to a story or whatever you'd call this I'm making.

Would you continue reading if I make more?

NOTE: English is not my first language, so typos and stuff like that I'll have to ask you to excuse.

Something like that...
I tidied up the spelling whilst i was there as well, though there are a few strange sentences i left in case it was me being weird and forgetting how to read.

purplefood wrote:
Something like that...
I tidied up the spelling whilst i was there as well, though there are a few strange sentences i left in case it was me being weird and forgetting how to read.

Thank you

Jake went into a blackout. He only remembered quick flashes of what went on. A medic running to him, saying something he could barely hear over the sound of the traitor's tanks, the gunshots, the screams. When will this battle end? He was now in the trenche, Yankowich looking at his knee with a face that expressed both sympathy and disgaust. Jake didn't even dare to look at the wound, he thought he might faint, his mind was overdriven with pain and fright.

Jake had no sense of time, but some time later the medic said something that got Jake both worried and reliefed.
"I'll have to take you to the medical centre beind the gates. There's not much I can do with the equipment I have right now."
Jake was put on a stretcher and the medic and one of the soilders from the trench lifted him up. Jake tried not to show how scared he was. What if they got shot down? He'd have to lay there on the stretcher until he got shot or the battle was over, won or lost.

They arrived safely to the hospital center behind the gates. As they walked trough the wooden doors Jake stared into roof. Seeing injured men always made him feel sick, he hoped he wasn't the only one. The medic walked past 4 beds - well that's what they called the metal cots anyway - and put him down on the fifth one. After unstrapping him and carefuly supporting him to the bed the medic walked away to get some equipment. He overheard his conversation with the head of the hospital centre.

"He hasn't lost that much blood, but his kneecap is busted pretty bad." he said. "I would appriciate if you would get a trained surgeon to help with this, its not my zone to put a whole new knee on a person." Silence. Then the man responded, with a wierd Valhallan like accent.
"I'm very busy but I'll get one of my men to help you with it. We'll need to make a new kneecap, so he'll be out of the field for a day or two while me make one out metal and place it in. He should be battle ready tomorrow or the day after."
A whole new kneecap? Jake couldn't resist the temptation. He slowly raised his upper body up, his right arm refusing to move, and looked at his leg. It was horrible. The bullet had went straight through his kneecap and all that were left were blood covered bone chips standing out of what used to be his knee. Now he understood the face Yankowich gave him back at the trench. Jake was also thankful for the anesthetics the medic must have gave him. Otherwise he would probably be in much more pain than he was in already.

Jake's armor was taken off him and he was left in nothing but his soft clothes, the sleeves on his left leg cut off above the knee. The wound was cleaned and then he was left alone. He slept for the most part of the day. The man besides him, someone that was well into his forties, had gotten shot to the stomach. Lucky to be alive, Jake thought. The man had a hologram of a woman and girl holding her hand on the floor beside his cot. His wife and daugher was what Jake thought they were.

After sleeping for two hours Jake opened his eyes. The man besides him had also woken up and sat up. His body was still on the bed, he had only raised himself up. He was holding the hologram and looked at it like it was the only thing he cared about in this world. His lasgun and armor were still on the end of the bed, Jakes equipment had been removed. The man slowly turned his head and looked at Jake. His eyes were red and swollen, he had been crying, and as a confirmation of what Jake thought his voice also indicated that the man had been crying.

"Hey there. My name's Brian. 801st company. And you?"
"Jake Ryans. 508th."
"The dirt on the Imperium shoes," The man said and gave him a faint grin. "You'r leg looks almost as bad as the mayors face." They both laughed quietly. Jake was already starting to like the man. A laugh was excaclty what Jake needed at the moment. The man pinched in pain as he laughed becouse of his wound. Jake peeked at the hologram. Either Brian noticed or he just wanted to talk about it.
"These girls here are my sister and her daugher. The only family I have left after the traitors attacked Guttingberg. The woman's name is Lily. The little one's called Barbara. I like to call her Barra. A real beuty isn't she?" The man slowly handed the hologram to Jake. Even though the hologram wasn't in colour and not the best quality available, Jake could still see the girl was pretty.
"I think you should introduce her to my little brother, they'd like each other. I dont have a picture or anything of him though."
Before the man could respond a man walked in. He walked quickly to Jake and stretched his hand out.
"Kyle Larryson, head of the hospital center. I see you have met Brian." He smiled. "How are we feeling today boys?" Brian was the first to answer.
"I'm doing fine. When can I get back on field and show these bastards that they picked the wrong city to mess with?"
"Like I already said, you need to heal better before you can get out on the field again." Kyle responded, obiusly a bit frustrated. "And you Jake?"
"I'm in pain but other than that I'm doing okay." Kyle laughed.
"Well, if you weren't in pain you wouldn't be here. You'r arm should heal very fast, the shrapnel just managed to penetrate the bone, but thats already been taken care off. The feeling will come back before you know it. Your kneecap on the other hand.." He stretched the last word like he knew Jake had heard the conversation between him and medic.
"I know, I'll need a new kneecap. When will I be battle ready?"
"Tomorrow the metal kneecap will be ready. You'll take a day or two to get used to it, then you'll be ready to get out there again. If you'd excuse me I'll have to get going now. Try to get some sleep, both of you." He added and looked over to Brian.

I'll finish the rest tomorrow, right now I have get some sleep.

Swap out government for Imperium and replace Russian with Valhallan.
Much better though.
Keep it up.

purplefood wrote:Swap out government for Imperium and replace Russian with Valhallan.
Much better though.
Keep it up.

Swapped out Thanks for the comment

Jake didn't sleep at all that night. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw the faces of the troopers that got shot during the retreat. Their eyes were open wide, their mouth gaping. He couldn't stop thinking about that and the fact that his teammates were out there. He just barely heard the sound of the battle from the hospital centre. It was a bright night. The moonlight gave everything inside the hospital blue tones. Jake got a little startled when Brian started talking.

"Cant sleep?" Jake nodded."Its always like this the first night. Two of my teammates have been sent down here and they couldn't sleep either. I could'nt sleep the first night I was here. Its the worries about you'r squadron isn't it?"
"Yeah. I cant help it but.."
"But you feel bad about being in the safety behind the walls while they're out there getting shot at."
"Absoloutely correct."

They talked for the rest of night. When the first glanse of sun started penetrating the windows of this old house, they both decided to try and sleep. Jake had trouble with that. He had only just slept for two hours, at most, when the medic that brought him walked in.

"Good day." Jake murmured some type of answer.
"The kneecap has been made. Looks like you haven't slept much but you'll have plenty of time for that once we've put you to sleep. You'll have something to eat and then I'll take you to the surgeon office. It on the third floor, right belove us."
"Okay, how much time will it take?"
"Not more than an hour really, but you'll be sleeping like a rock for at least four hours."
"Those are some strong medicene you have." Brian, the medic and Jake all laughed at that.

After eating Jake was taken to the surgeon. He had only been the for five minutes when the syringe was brought out. Everyting went foggy withing the next minute or so, voices started fading out and before he knew it all he saw was black and all he heard was his own breath.