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2011/06/05 04:49:54
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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(this is i guess a "book" about people from different perspectives and races fighting and surviving on a war struck planet.some will live,others will die. each chapter will be from a different characters perspective. please fill free to comment and give advise about making it more fluff accurate.)
prologue
war came like it was the wind itself. no one was safe,no one knew what to do. the civilized world of omafu turned into a pit of death and blood in less than a day. the chaos soldiers came fast as lightning,the local militia was wiped out before they even fired a shot it seemed. 3 hours in the marines came,landing like angels from heaven,until the inqusitioners arrived to. they killed as if all were guilty. the imperial guard also sent a nearby group to help with the fight,but it was a wasted effort. at almost the exact time they arrived,and ork whaaaaag! showed up and streamed into battle.
also little did anyone know that the tau were silently moving threw all of this,trying to find the entrance to an ancient underground chamber for unknown reasons. also the planet was a target of a large dark eldar raiding party,who saw the war as an easy raiding inhibitor.
chapter 1, krooth of the flying rage
"KILL ALL IN YOUR PATH! LET IT RAIN THEIR BLOOD,LET YOU TASTE THE PLEASURE OF DEATH! LET THEM ROT AS CORPSES!" krooth screamed at his squad of chaos marines. as he blew a civilian to bits,he licked the brain bits off his face where he could. he had never enjoyed such easy targets before. as a kid started running to his parents corpse,he stepped in its way.
"hello boy." as the kid stared up at him with fright,he stomped on the brat,sending bits of kid and blood everywhere.
"stupid,stupid brat. MEN,KEEP MOVING! THEY ARNT GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES!"
"i hope not,then we wouldn't have any fun!" yelled back one of his troops. it made all of them laugh. then,krooth heard a crash.he looked up to see pods coming down like meteors.he then looked behind him and saw one had landed not 10 meters behind him.and it was opening.
"ha ha boys,we got us some purple space marines!" as he spoke his men yelled and hooted until the pod opened and bolter fire rained on them,blowing 2 to pretty red cheese. krooth rolled behind a truck then jumped threw it firing like a maniac. as he came out the other side,he cut down 3 charging marines,painting the ground with another layer of blood. as he landed,he aimed at the pod and shot all of a new clip. as he reloaded,a shot flew out and hit him smack in the chest. as he flew back he laughed a blood curtiling laugh. when he landed,he flung to his feet and tossed a frag into the pod. the following explosion and red mist from the pod made him impulsively yell "HA! THESE BUFFOONS IN THEIR thick ARMOR AND HOLY PROTECTION ARE NOTHING BUT MEAT LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!" he then looked around and realized that all of his squad were dead.
"you weaklings,i see your also just meat. i have no use for meat." krooth then started walking back torwds the meeting point. he might get beat for loosing his squad,but he would enjoy it just like all the other times.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/06/05 05:19:11
 Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f  g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f g time! [Pause] I didn't think so.
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2011/06/06 01:28:55
Subject: Re:book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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chapter 2, argus quermin
argus awoke to the sound of glass breaking. his window had been shot. as he got up and tried looking outside,several bolter shots whizzed by his ear. as he rushed down stairs,he saw a scene that would never leave his memory. his dad got turned into a blob of red right in front of him,his mom was being slowly ripped in half. as argus stood their watching,shots flew into the hall threw the front door. as one chaos brutes head was turned into mist,he fell to his knees. he had never even seen an xeno before,and now they had killed his parents. as he heard the fire stop,he looked down to see the chaos men had won.he then saw something at the bottom of the stairs...a bolt pistol. he made a mad dash for it and got it. as a chaos brute turned around,he put a shot threw its guts,and it looked at him for a second before falling down. as the others reacted,he turned to run,only to come face to face with a bolter barrel.
"well well well boys,looks like we got us a brave one." all the chaos men laughed and chuckled.
"say,boys.how should i kill him? maybe ill eat him."
" cut his throat open with his mothers bone!"
" slowly crush him to bits!"
"rip off his arms and drink his blood!" that one made them laugh. as he closed his eyes he heard fire,but he didnt feel anything. as he opened them,he saw they were all dead,burn shots threw them,like plasma from his dads factory. as he looked around for its source,he saw yellow suited xenos up on his railing and one in his living room. argus sat down on the ground,trying to think straight. more aliens,but this time they had saved him. he looked up to see one staring at him pointing at a hollow map or something speaking in xeno language. he didnt know what the heck it was saying but he guessed it needed him to tell them were that place was. he stared at the map.it was of the underground ruins his dad always talked about. they used to be on the surface,but a great earthquake had made them fall underground. he stared at it a little longer,he knew that spot,it was under the old sector of the city.
"umm,i think that over there." argus said,points to his left. the xeno looked at the wall he was pointing at then looked back and said something else he couldn't understand. another came over and said something and then pulled argus to his feet. it said something then pointed obviously meaning for him to lead the way.
"umm,ok? i think? ill ummm try leading you to that spot,but you wont be able to get to it,its underground." the xeno seemed to understand,but he couldn't tell because of the helmet. he started walking to the door,then decided to gothrew the back,least he be seen by anymore chaos troops. he just hoped he knew what the heck he was doing.
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Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f g time! [Pause] I didn't think so.
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2011/06/10 16:20:51
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Screaming Shining Spear
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Fething sucks dick bro(Im kidding)
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2011/06/10 16:24:28
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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TheWildHost wrote:Fething sucks dick bro(Im kidding)
 then  then OOOoooohhhhhhh.....
also any ideas to make it better would help make it better.
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Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f g time! [Pause] I didn't think so.
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2011/06/10 16:29:20
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Screaming Shining Spear
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Spelling is ok, story is good, but grammer needs improvement and you need better word choice, it just seem's so repetitive.
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2011/06/10 16:30:38
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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yeah,i kinda know :( i use as alot....
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Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f g time! [Pause] I didn't think so.
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2011/06/25 23:01:10
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Hellacious Havoc
on my own personal space hulk with the population of several worlds living on it with me
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you hould read some actual 40k books before you try to make one yourself, its not bad but it seems very unfamilyer to me and since im an avid chaos fan i think you should try to make it seem a little more erm realistic? idk it just seems off and not quite like... well you get the point 
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 if i did it, i did it for chaos... or for oranges, either way i will kill you
"why yes i do live under a rokk" says the ork to the other ork. |
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2011/07/02 12:18:51
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Drop Trooper with Demo Charge
Sydney
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TheWildHost wrote:Fething sucks dick bro(Im kidding)
agreeed!!!!!!!!!! ;D
its good bro!
wish mine could be as good as yours :\
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2011/07/02 16:14:23
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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James The BloodFiend wrote:you hould read some actual 40k books before you try to make one yourself, its not bad but it seems very unfamilyer to me and since im an avid chaos fan i think you should try to make it seem a little more erm realistic? idk it just seems off and not quite like... well you get the point
like 40k is realistic to any point  but ill try to keep it more...fluff accurate?
AD YEAH wrote:TheWildHost wrote:Fething sucks dick bro(Im kidding)
agreeed!!!!!!!!!! ;D
its good bro!
wish mine could be as good as yours :\
 thanks. hmmm....thinking bout starting this up again. i really ran into writers block and then kinda forgot about this :/
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Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f g time! [Pause] I didn't think so.
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2011/07/10 17:20:26
Subject: book-1 / the flying rage (40k based)
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Screaming Shining Spear
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hey! Check Mine out( I have been working on it FOREVER(I forgot about after I started it)
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