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Today, the 21st Cadian Heavy Infantry Regiment suffered an unmitigated slaughter at the hands of my Coven, the Divine Agony, aided by Baron Sathonyx himself as well as elements from the Cult of the Bloody Lips and the Kabal of the Twilight Maw. The action took place at an abandoned industrial facility in the midst of a heavily wooded valley. There is a hill in each corner of the battle field. Here is the list:

List: 1499

2 haemy w/ agonizer, casket of flensing, web way portal
Each haemy was accompanied by 9 wracks w/ liquifier gun, mounted on a raider w/ shock prow and flicker field.

1 Venom w/2 Splinter Cannons, flicker field, and night shield, with 4 Trueborn riding, carrying 3 blasters and 1 splinter cannon.

(in reserve)
Talos w/liquifier gun, chain-flail, and twin-linked heat lance
9 Hellions, led by Lord Sathonyx
10 Scourges, 4 haywire blasters
1 beastmaster w/ agonizer, 5 khymera


The other force was composed of 2 leman russes, 1 basilisk, 1 valkyrie, 2 infantry squads, 1 verteran squad, a command squad, and 2 3-team heavy weapon squads. There were lots of flamers and heavy bolters.

TURN 1
The Coven Lords begin cautiously, moving 12" behind cover. Not wanting to be outflanked, each raider moves across opposite table halves, the Venom gunship moving to bolster the western flank. The Trueborn aboard the venom fire their blasters at the armored sentinel, turning its assault cannon into a wad of molten metal.

The Cadians quickly mobilize to counter attack. The infantry elements are ordered to run into the forest to set up fire lanes while vehicles and heavy weapon teams scan the tree line for enemy contact. The Dark Eldar skimmers are well hidden, however, and only the venom presents a clear shot. It is quickly shot down and the Trueborn run for cover behind a pile of quarried stone. Battle cannons are fired at the raiders, but the ordinance scatters off its mark. The valkyrie is able to draw line of sight over the trees and knocks the east raider out of the air with its 3 twin-linked lascannons. Three wracks perish as the raider explodes.

TURN 2
Trueborn lay down covering fire as the Haemunculi advance. The haemunculus who survived the crash moves towards the North Eastern hill where the basilisk, valkyrie, and a heavy weapon team are positioned. He fulfills his mission objective by deploying his webway portal. The other Haemunculi also achieves his goal after his raider moves him closer to the enemy line. The trueborns' blaster shots fly wide as the now weaponless sentinel charges toward them.

The Imperials are hoping to suppress the Dark Eldar advance with overwhelming fire power. Unfortunately, the wracks are shielded from the bulk of their fire power. Cannon fire proves sufficient to reduce both wrack squads to half strength, nonetheless, and the remaining raider loses its darklance.

TURN 3
The Coven Lords can't suppress their grins as their true strike force erupts howling from the webway portals. From the western portal comes Hellions and a Talos, from the eastern portal emerges scourges and a beastmaster, khymerae in tow. The Talos propels itself toward the nearest squad of troopers (veterans in carapace armor), spraying a jet of boiling acid from its liquifier, causing 5 troopers to die from agonizing burns. The Hellions move around the infantry formations to cut off their retreat. They fire splinter pods at the rear squad of veterans, but only two die as the hail of splinters ping off of the carapace suits. The efforts of the trueborn are equally futile as their blaster shots do surprisingly little to the advancing walker. Scourges fire 4 haywire blasters at the looming valkyrie, and the crew must set down quickly before their smoking engines give out. The beastmaster squad charges across open ground, straight at the gun emplacement on the ridge, but it is not close enough to spill any blood. The Talos and Hellions assault their prey, but the wracks are still too far away. Their raider decides to use their last remaining weapon: the raider itself! They fly straight into the side of a leman russ, immobilizing it, but raider is smashed to pieces. By the time the Guard can respond, the scent of blood has already began to permeate the air.

The Imperial Colonel, unnerved by the speed at which his lines were overrun, orders the rest of his infantry into the frey. Now able to draw a bead on the wrack squad, they open fire, leaving only their haemunculus master alive! Emboldened, they charge into combat, but still manage to find themselves outclassed; their blows are turned aside and any wound they make is ignored by the pain-drunk Haemunculus. He fells two guard with his agonizer. The guardsmen fighting the Talos can only stab uselessly into it as they are mauled by the whipping chain-flail. A steel-nerved veteran shoots a Hellion from his skyboard but not before his brothers, hopped up on Gravelotus, cut a good half of the squad into bloody chunks. Meanwhile, a lucky cannon shot breaks the bodies of 8 scourges! The haughty creatures decide to remain on the battle field rather than flee. The sentinel finally overtakes the trueborn, but the clumsy machine can only flounder as the trueborn dance around it. They can do no more than that, however, as all they have available to them are their knives.

TURN 4
The Dark Eldar are literally beying for blood. While the scourges continue to harass the crippled gunship, the Talos and Hellions finish off their prey and move off to fresh kills. The Hellions are close enough to engage the Colonel's bodyguards while the Talos drifts toward the line of tanks. It's heatlance blows off one of the hull mounted heavy flamers. The Haemunculus kills two more guard, and the beastmaster slaughters two of the heavy weapon teams. While the bulk of the Hellion squad is too far away, the models that are engaged in combat chops off the head of one human warrior. The three wracks from the eastern squad slowly make their way to the carnage while the trueborn continue their game of ring-around-the-rosie.

Defeat seems a sure thing, but the Colonel would rather die than capitulate to xeno scum. Tragically, his guns can find no mark, and his frontline troops continue to be mercilessly slaughtered. He begins his prayers to the Emperor.

TURN 5
The Dark Eldar won't rest until they've had their fill of pain and misery. Hellions sweep over the panicking guardsmen, cutting down the last of the command squad, the beastmasters pounce on the basilisk, destroying its earthshaker cannon. The Talos carves the armor off of the Leman Russ and brutalizes the terrified crew. The Haemunculus giggles girlishly as she murders two more guardsmen, even as the sarge's power sword cuts a deep gash in her belly.

At this point, the humans are simply trying to preserve their own lives. The defenseless basilisk attempts to grind the warp beasts under its treads, and the beastmaster takes flight. Heavy Weapon teams are able to would the Talos, but it is still alive and thirsty for human blood. Leaderless, relatively defenseless, and utterly hopeless, the Imperial Guard are soundly defeated by the cackling denizens of the Dark City. The dead are thought of enviously by the ones doomed to serve as playthings to their demented captors

That was well written! Sounds like a good time, made me want to go play a game or two myself!

Thanks, man I was concerned that I didn't really capture the proceedings of the game.

I also neglected to mention that the Haemunculus on the Western side fired his casket of flensing on turn 3, killing 5 regular troopers The other one died on turn 2 when it was blown to bits by a battle cannon.

The variety of ridiculous weaponry available to the DE is pretty intimidating... especially that Pain Engine, which is a unit that one of my gaming buddies is considering fielding.

Are they really as fragile as everyone says? By the sounds of it, you lost a few guys but overall seemed to hold up pretty well, considering the shootiness that you were up against...

Honestly, my opponent was pretty unlucky with his scatter rolls, otherwise I would have lost the better half of my dudes. I was also very careful to present as few targets as possible. I think I still had it in the bag, though, because he simply wasn't expecting so many baddies to walk-on from the center line of the table. That was my strategy: assault units deploy straight into close combat.

Yeah, the DE arsenal is probably the most varied in the game. There is a unit for every task, and you can equip your army for any set of circumstances, but that also presents the risk of accidentally not having what you need. All the entries have a lot of character to them, too

The Dark Eldar are indeed very fragile. With the exception of the Dias of Destruction, the highest armor value on any vehicle is 11. The average armor value for infantry is 5. The DE simply have to be fragile, other wise they would be a completely broken army. I mean, they already have speed and firepower on their side, and they have some of the best close combat units in the game, to boot. They can dish out a lot of pain, but they can be bowled over by a robust sneeze. Their speed gives them the ability to decide when are where the actual fighting takes place. This is why they are often considered an "experts' army;" tactically, they are very unforgiving.

That was very well written indeed, I like the battle reports that have a bit more cinematic style to it. I do think you did a good job on handing those guardsmen. And I hope to see your future reports.

Thanks Ragedar, that's very encouraging Yeah, I get pretty inspired by the types of Batreps that they have in White Dwarf.