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"When will I see you again?" Her brown eyes filled with tears that pierced my soul.

I looked down at her holding me, latching on to me not letting go.

"Soon, It'll be over before you know it," I said calmly, trying not to let her see the dismay in my eyes... "I promise I'll be back soon."

Her face turned to something of anger, "You don't know if you'll even come back... You can't tell me that!"

She was right... I didn't know if I was coming back.

As she let go of me I turned away from her and went outside... The sun was setting and it was completely hot pink. It was such a lovely thing, but it came at such a sad time.




The sound of lasguns rippled through the air as we desperatly fought off the advancing eldar. One by one they fell to our lasguns, collapsing atop one another in massive piles of corpses.

"Keep firing men!" I yelled at my fellow guardsman trying to hold the line.

The sentinel screeched above me as it fired its lascannon at the approaching eldar, disintegrated a few on impact. It certainly was a morale booster.

"Sentinel Alpha, Keep firing on the approaching eldar! Don't stop to shoot the one's up close, we'll handle that!" I said over the comm.

"Roger Sergeant!"

I fixed my laspistol at an Eldar aiming his shuriken cannon out of the side of a rock. I pulled the trigger and saw the las blast go clean through his head.

Then they stopped advancing. They were up to something.

Suddenly a squad of swooping hawks appeared through the dust and smoke.

"HAWKS!" I yelled as loud as i could while revving my chainsword.

The descended upon our squad and I immediately clashed with a hawk. He came at me with his spear but I deflected it with my sword. As he went off balance I put my laspistol to the eldar's head and pulled the trigger repeatedly.

"PULL BACK SERGEANT! PULL BACK YOU'RE GOING TO GET OVERUN!!!" I heard over the intercom.

But it was too late. The Eldar encircled us, their numbers not easily counted. I revved my Chainsword and looked up at the sky. The sun was setting and it was completely hot pink. It was such a lovely thing but it came at such a sad time.

Nice; this is well written and has definite depth. It shows that those Imperial Guardsmen dying out there in massive droves had identities beyond their Unit Number. My only criticism is that one sentence is really awkwardly worded and sticks out.

One by one they fell to our lasguns falling overtop of one another, making piles of corpses.

This might work better as one, "One by one they fell to our lasguns, collapsing atop one another in massive piles of corpses." or something like that.

Overall this was a good piece and keep up the writing! I'm eager to read more from you.

Thanks for the critique its much appreciated! lol my grammer is awful tbh need to work on that