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This is my first ever Army Background so here goes nothing:

Crusade of the Great Gulf

Upon the closing years of the 41 millenium, A Black Templar Fighting Company numbering in the hundereds after a significant engagement against A Daemon Warhost, embarked on a Crusade into the Eye of Terror. Led by the Fanatical Marshal Ramius, a veteran of 697 years of mortal combat, the Crusade rapidly gained momentum as the more zealous Battle-Brothers from a multitude of Chapters joined the fray. Battling Daemons, Traitor Astartes, countless renegades and cultists alike; The fury of The Crusade is such as that the Imperium hasn't seen since the Great Heresy.

This, is His story:

The planet that was once a veritable paradise had changed dramatically. In the place of lush grassland was a savanagh of razor-sharp, bright pink vegetation. Being the home world of one of the vilest Daemon princesses Man has ever known: The Pleasure-Fiend of Vornak Prime. Once a simple office-clerk in a Monufactorum on a Hive world, The Pleasure-Fiend swiftly became a genocidal maniac. Over the course of 5 weeks, she is claimed to have killed, or worse, 173 people before smuggling herself offworld. Ramius knew that their trespassing on her planet wouldn't go un anwsered. It was just a question of time. A bone-chilling screech rent the air silent, like the calm before the storm. The sky went black. With a thunderous crack, a plume of dense smoke fell from the once emerald green sky. Yet not an inch did Ramius move; even when the Templars were beset on all sides by foul, twisted daemons. The Daemon-Princess danced and taunted the warrior edging ever closer to him.

From its scabbard, Ramius tore his Sword! He held the mighty blade toward the foe, and roared "SILENCE DAEMON! FOR GLORY! FOR HONOUR! FOR VICTORY!" With this battle cry, the still-living marines stopped yielding ground, They stood firm. Faced down by countless millions of Daemonettes and other, more horrifying, creatures. Meanwhile, Ramius and the She-daemon duelled. Cackling and effortlessly dodging the Marshal's blows, she launched him flying, despite his bulky stylised Terminator armour. He landed in a crumpled heap, 30 meters away. Turning her Back on the broken Marshal, she gloated of her victory over the puny human. Yet even as she said this, the Marshal got to his feet, Reclaimed his blade and knelt facing the Daemon whom was watching the mumbling Templar with curiosity. Slowly; Purposefully; Ramius stood, and with a calm certainty in his voice, he proclaimed "Nay, I am not defeated, for the Holy God-Emperor guides my purpose. I will never yield, nor shall I rest, for He is with me." And thus, Raising his blade to the Heavens, Bellowed "COME ON, DAEMON, SLAY ME! OR DO YOU LACK THE NERVE?" At that Moment an Electric blue flash of lightening struck his sword causing both it and his eyes to glow a blinding white. Slowly at first, the Marshal began to charge, steadily gaining momentum; Then he impacted. Shattering the Daemons alluring form with the fury of the onlaught, she fought like a cornered animal with bared fangs and sharp claws, slashing and snarling at the Marine whom was parrying the blows before lopping off an arm and crippling the Daemon with a vicious kick to the leg. Whimpering pitifuly, the Daemon begged for her life, insisting that she had no choice. She met her demise swiftly, with a single, mighty blow being dealt that seperated its head from its body.

Ramius was last reported to be engaging a Bloodthirster in 1 on 1 combat.....

Okay. So no introduction to as why are you doing this or anything?

My buddy said writing army fluff was fun and such so here I am

Okay...
First off- He's very old for someone who apparently has a deathwish.
Millions of daemons is a bit much. And by a bit i mean way too much...
Commas and full stops either not used or used incorrectly...

On the second time of reading it i think i understand the general setting but you need to explain it more...
Also though the BT would probably jump at the chance to charge into a daemon world guns blazing the GK would probably either have a crack at it first or be the main strikeforce with BT supporting them.

In all fairness I did it in 15 minutes as a draft

That's fine. Now go make it magical!