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Not sure whether to put this is Background or General discussion, so I figured I'd try both and a wandering mod will tell me which is right, but here it is:
I was inspired by a friend to post the backstory behind my army here on dakka, so without further ado I give you the full story of the Kabal of the Malicious Light. Comments and Criticism much appreciated


The Lady paced back and forth across the room, waiting for her husband to return from his war conference. She checked the camera feed she had planted on him and saw that he had found it, just as she had planned, and placed it on the mantle looking at the meeting. As Lord Vect adjourned the meeting he strolled over and picked it up.
“Hello darling,” he said, his snake tongue flicking out, “shall we take a tour?” Lady Malys very nearly responded to it, then realized it was just a camera. Her husband carried the small device to a room where a concubine lay on the bed and once again he put it on the mantle. This time Malys was slightly more engrossed in the video than she had been when it was just a war meeting. She tore herself away from the screen and calmly walked to the closet where she kept her war gear. She took out the segmented armor and grabbed her weapons. She strapped grenades onto her belt and flicked out her steel fan. At long last she took out her favorite pet from its diamond cage. It was long and sleek, perfectly pointed to ensure maximum killing power. It was The Lady’s Blade, a sword carrying in it a vile and destructive sentience. She walked to the intercom system and blasted over the station vox.
“Sliscus, you’re days are numbered, The Lady is on her way,” she said, hoping that the threat would scare him into a mistake.
Sliscus heard the message and laughed out loud.
“Looks like I need my gear,” he said and strode to a closet of his own. He put on thicker armor that had sophisticated refractor fields built in to it. He clipped on the shadow field, a device that shrouded him in darkness and flipped the switch on. He also took several grenades and grabbed countless vials of combat drugs to ensure that he would be at peak performance. Next he grabbed a blast pistol and locked it to his thigh holster. Finally he grabbed the two blades that hung on either side of the armoire. They were jagged and sharp, with ornate decorations covering it. They were also both dipped in a deadly cocktail of virulent toxins. Then he strode to his personal intercom and shouted.
“Kabal of the Bleeding Hand, turns out that we are to take an early leave of this place, The Lady is hunting,” he said, adding a small chuckle to the end to ensure that his troops didn’t think he was afraid. At long last he turned to the girl laying on his bed.
“Oh dear Lelith, put on your gear, its time for us to go,” he said, but the girl simply smiled and reached behind her pillow. She whipped into action, drawing a splinter pistol and firing it off wildly. Sliscus bent and twisted around the shots, dodging each little needle as it drew near to impaling him. He bent back to let one fly over his head and sheathed his blades behind his back before drawing his blast pistol. Lelith had taken cover behind the bed and snapped off an occasional shot. Sliscus dodged these easily enough, waiting for her to give in to her primal urges. After a minute of cat and mouse she gave up and vaulted over the bed, assuming Sliscus was also in cover. He met this assumption with a beam of dark matter to her torso. She collapsed to the ground, looked at the hole in her chest and keeled over, dead. Sliscus left the room and shot the three honor guard that rushed to see what the disturbance had been. Then he ran to the ship docks and saw his army assembled.
“Everyone get aboard those three ships!” He shouted and pointed in the direction of three relatively unguarded space vessels. He watched his army board and seize the first two ships before personally taking control of the third. He relayed orders to the captains that he had given command of the other ships to. The ships rose in perfect synchronization and Sliscus allowed himself to smile. He launched several lances into the spire that held his ex wife and many of the important Archons of Commorragh before leading his small fleet into the webway and escaping forever. Ever since, the outcasts of the Eldar race and the exiled of Commorragh have flocked to his banner and he has obtained a massive strike force. But he is ailing, the great enemy Slaneesh swallows every soldier that he loses and he has so far been unable to find a solution to this. One day when he was pacing around his flagships chamber and the proximity alert on his door sounded.
“Who is it?” He hissed.
“A man with an offer.” A voice replied.
“Rakarth, how nice of you to drop by, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Sliscus said, his tone taking a much nicer turn.
“You have raised quite a Kabal serpent. But it is not full yet, I have noticed that you don’t have a way to avoid the Great Enemy.” The twisted Haemonculus said through one of his many mouths.
“I was just thinking on that, do you have a solution?” Sliscus asked.
“I do my friend, and I will share it with you.” Rakarth said, his many mouths now curling into a smile all at once.
“What is your price fleshsmith?” Sliscus asked, having to spit out the word price like it tasted bad.
“I have angered the leaders of the great Kabal’s with an experiment, and I am exiled from Commorragh. I have with me a sizeable force of my servants and the key to protection from Slaneesh. Allow me to fight with you and I will give you this key.” Rakarth said.
“It would be an honor Urien, now hand over that key.” Sliscus said, his snake-like tongue flicking out.
“Daark, I summon thee to this chamber to share your wisdom!” The Haemonculus boomed and several paintings fell from the wall as the room shook. A small black portal popped out of thin air and a hand burst through it. It was not an Eldar hand, but the hand of a lesser creature, gnarled and clawed. It smashed against the sides of the warp portal until another hand came forth. At this point the daemon used its unholy might to pry apart the edges of the Immaterium and a creature burst out. It was gnarled and hunched, its skin white as snow, but randomly spotted with black.
“Who is this disciple?” The daemon asked, addressing the fleshsmith quite informally.
“Duke Sliscus, give him your benefits daemon, or we will see if the immaterial can be tortured.” Rakarth said, returning the informality.
“You are the Serpent my master has told me of?” The daemon asked.
“I am Duke Traevelliath Sliscus, lord of the Kabal of the Bleeding Hand. Many refer to me as the Serpent.” Sliscus responded.
“Yes, you are the one master has told me of, you will destroy the dark ones, you will bring discord to the warp.” The daemon said.
“My Kabal would enjoy nothing more then bringing discord to that hellish realm, tell me how.” Sliscus demanded.
“First off, your name must be changed. Bleeding Hand is no doubt a reference to your pathetic war god Khaine. You will henceforth be known as the Kabal of the Malicious Light, and you will take a cadre of daemons to war with you. You will give praise to your new dark lord by slaughtering the forces of chaos wherever they may arise. Do you agree to these terms?” The daemon asked.
“I do.” Sliscus replied.
“Then kneel Duke Traevelliath Sliscus, lord of the Kabal of the Bleeding Hand, and rise Duke Traevelliath Sliscus, lord of the Kabal of the Malicious Light, chosen of Malal.” The daemon said.
“I accept the rule of your chaotic lord Malal, but THE SERPENT KNEELS FOR NONE!” Sliscus shouted and shot the daemon through the head with his blast pistol. A wave of dark energy shot from the portal as it closed and Sliscus looked around, all of his extravagant décor had been turned into black and white skulls, all pierced by an eight-pointed star. He examined his own armor and saw that he was also changed, his once glorious armor turned black and white in devotion to his new god. He immediately received a host of vox messages saying that the same had happened all across the fleet. He switched vox to the general channel that let him speak to every warrior under him and began to speak.
“Men and women of this great Kabal, fear not the changes that have occurred. We have sacrificed our grandeur for the good of our race. Live no longer in fear of the great enemy Slaneesh, for we are saved from it. Speak the name of the Unholy One, all of you, from the lowliest slave to the grandest Trueborn. Speak it now and rejoice that we are safe from it. Now speak the name of our savior. Everyone say it’s name, MALAL. He is the one that has delivered us from the fear that we lived in. He is the one that gave us his blessing. He is the one that will lead us in the crusade against the palace of our tormentor. We sail again warriors, we sail to wherever the tunnels of the webway takes us. I am aware that many sections are broken and splintered, but in our force we have builders and artisans. We will rebuild the webway and begin the return of the great Eldar Empire of the past. The mighty Imperium of Man will be driven to it’s heels by our force, the forces of Chaos will find themselves wanting for souls, the unending tide of Orks will be stemmed, the fledgling Tau Empire will never rise above adolescence, even the alien and terrible Tyranids will meet their death at our blades. WE ARE THE KABAL OF THE MALICIOUS LIGHT, WE ARE THE NEW FORM OF ELDAR, WE ARE PERFECTION AND WE ARE THOSE WHO WILL RETURN THE EMPIRE TO ITS FORMER GLORY!” Sliscus gave his speech and cheers rose across the Kabal.
“Do you really think we are capable of any of that?” Rakarth asked.
“I just told the men what they needed to hear, but I do believe that we will gain momentum as more people flock to our banner, and if we can heal our wounded webway, then yes we will reforge the Empire.” Sliscus told him.
“Very well, I will go inform my men of your plans.” Rakarth said and departed.
“Thank you Urien, you have shown us the way.” Sliscus said.
“My pleasure Serpent, I look forward to your company in battle.” Rakarth said. And with that Rakarth returned to his own ship and gave a speech to his own men. Sliscus switched the vox to his helmsmen’s private channels and gave a command that would shape the history of the galaxy.
“Men, into the webway.”

It would make it much easier to read if you would be a little more generous with the spacing.

also seems everything happened a little suddenly, although I understand that you might not want to write something extremely long but allying with an unkown dark eldar and joining chaos all within a minute or two of each other just seem a little to "24 hours" like.

Yeah sorry about the spacing and it does read sort of "24"ish now that you mention it, I'll try and work on it over the long weekend