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This is a short story about a Crimson Fists tactical squad ambushed by Orks.


Sargeant Vasquez stalked through the tall grass, bolter aimed forward. Around him was his squad members, fanned out in a skirmish formation. Using sign language, he ordered the men on his left to move forward in a sweeping motion. For the past 5 days they had been tracking their prey, and now, its seems, they had finally found it. " Right side, fan right." he said quietly into the comm-feeder.
"Aye sir, For the Emperor." Replied a marine. The target was in their sights, all they had to do was pull the trigger.
" Move in." said Vasquez. He could feel the energy in the air, like the tentative calm before the storm. As Vasquez aimed through his M40 targetting system, attached to the entire squad's bolters for better sight, he spotted the leader of the pack.
" Brothers, the Warboss is in my sights. You all know your targets, are you ready?" Said the sargeant. A collective " aye sir" was the reply.
" Good, unleash hell upon them, For the Emperor." Vasquez held down the trigger sending special silenced bolt rounds towards the Ork Warboss' head. As they penetrated his skull and body, he awoke screaming, which startled all the boyz around him. Just as they realised something was happening, his, and the rest of their command groups heads exploded as the bolt rounds detonated.
"Move, move, move!" He yelled. In unison, all the marines started running to the ork camp, bolters ablaze.
" Death to Xenos!" Yelled one of the marines as he shot a Ork Nob in the head. They had quickly subdued the Ork encampment, the mission was a success.
" Sir, we have removed the threat from this area, should we purge the field?" Asked one of the marines.
" No," said Vasquez quickly, " everyone get down, defensive positions, there's something amiss here."
" What do you mean sir?" Asked another marine.
" The orks we were tracking these past few days were a much bigger horde than this," replied Vasquez, " I suspect the rest of them are waiting to ambush us." He finished. Just as a marine was about to say something, a cry was heard from the nearby forest.
" Wwwaaaaagggghhh!!!!"
Ork boyz spilled out from the trees hooting and hollering. " Switch to rapid fire mode brothers." Said the sargeant as he started shooting into the horde of green.
" There's too many of them!" Yelled a marine over the comm-feed.
" Aye!" replied another, " but we will meet them in battle nonetheless!" As the ork horde was whittled down by bolter fire, another appeared over the ridge near the camp.
" Sir, orks on the right flank!" Yelled a marine.
" Brothers," said Vasquez gesturing to the 5 marines on his right, " Engage the Xenos on the ridge."
" Aye sir, for the emperor!" was the reply. As the battle raged on, the orks got closer and closer to the Crimson Fist lines. Finally, after hours of constant battle, the orks relented. This gave the marines a much needed opportunity to rest and regroup. After counting all their left-over ammunition and weapons, they were down to 250 rounds of bolter ammunition, 50 rounds of bolt pistol ammunition, a flamer and a unused plasma pistol.
" Sir, we are running dangerously low on ammunition, we need to send someone to get more." Said one marine.
" No, thats suicide one marine would never make it." Said another.
" But what else can we do?" Replied the first.
" He is right brother," said the sargeant, " we must send someone back to the chapter to get help."
" But who?" asked the second marine.
" How about brother Julio, he is the fastest runner in the chapter." said the first marine.
" Aye, Brother Julio you will go back to the chapter to get aid, here take this with you." Said Vasquez, handing him a bolter with 50 rounds of ammunition.
" For the Emperor." Said Julio.
" For the Emperor." Replied the squad.

how is it so far? I was thinking of entering this into the black library opens for short story, is it good enough?

That was good, if I were to change this I'd add more detail about the sky, tent colors, if it was hot or cold. Thing like that would make it from 2D, me seeing the action to 3D, where I can really feel the story. If you are looking for 2D its great.

I would suggest describing more also. Something that sometimes help when writing stories is including little details like "He could feel the radiating warmth of the plasma pistol." Though it isn't signification to the plot or characters, it really makes you feel like yer there.

Otherwise great work!

thanks for the feedback guys, im gunna edit it soon.