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"You killed them all, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Captain Hesh'Ka screamed into the impassive face of the Grey Knight. "They had seen the face of a daemon, they were impure." Hillen responded. "They were loyal Imperial citizens! They're only crime was having eyes!" Hesh'Ka fumed. "Sometimes, the crime of sight is the most heretical." Hillen responded, still void of emotion. "The crime of sight is surpassed by one other. Genocide of loyal men and women! You sit on your Inquisitorial pedestal and assume that you are the most pure in the galaxy, but you purge with abandon, caring not for your victims loyalties. You are worse than the scum you claim to fight. The Warp can have you for all I care." Hesh'Ka shouted at the Grey Knight. "You forget one thing Salamander. You are also amongst those who saw the Pleasure Prince." Hillen said with the faintest hint of a smile and rose his force halberd. Hesh'Ka brought up his blade and sparks showered everywhere as the two power armored hulks clashed.

***************************************************************Three Months Earlier***************************************************************************************************

The strike cruiser came out of the warp abruptly. A sliver of grey cutting the blackness around the planet Kern. The call had gone out to the Inquisition just hours before and they had traveled to Kern in hours, an impossible time even with the warp. The Salamanders had seen it fit to send a call as soon as they realized what they were fighting. The Salamanders Sixth Company had come to Kern to fend off a small incursion of the Emperor's Children. A few villages had been raided and destroyed. The Salamanders had driven the heretics to their mountain lair. Then the Daemon attacked. A Greater Daemon of Slaanesh. It was lightning quick and took bolt shell and flamer alike. The presiding Captain sent out a call to the Inquisition. A strike team comprising of 5 Purifiers and an Inquisitor met the Captain at the Salamanders base at the foot of the mountain. Imperial citizens looked with shock and awe at the silver titans as they approached the green armored hulks. The captain bowed to the Inquisitor. "Lord Sizt, you have responded with appropriate haste. We have a foul Daemon holed up in the mountain." Hesh'Ka said and rose. "Very good. We will assist in its destruction, however we must act immediately before it can summon more of its minions." The Inquisitor said. As if on cue a purple flame burst out of the mouth of the cave in which the Heretics hid. Hundreds, if not thousands, of daemons poured down the slopes. The Inquisitors face contorted in rage and he raised his Psilencer. His men fanned out, their Storm Bolters glowing with the Psybolts in them. A Thunderhawk came down from the sky full of ammo and weapons. "Load up, and Emperor bless us." Sizt said as his men rushed for cover.

Well.....This was intresting but I feel bad for saying this, you really, really need to flesh out your guys alot more.
And I know this may be somewhat weird comming from me, but grammar is your friend.

And to point out once such issue is that its raised not rose his silencer.
But except for this I think this has major promise if you give it some more tender love and core

Thanks for the advice! This first one was more to see if there was any general interest in such a story, the characters will be fleshed out in coming installments, I promise. And I will work on grammar as much as I can

Oh I see well in that case color me interested in more of this thing then.

Excellent, I will write more this weekend

The daemons descended with furious speed, dancing down the cliff in a deadly waltz. Hesh'Ka grabbed a meltagun and a power sword and ran to the front line. When the daemons reached the foot of the mountain, they vanished. A puff of purple smoke and they were evaporated. Hesh'ka and his men looked around in confusion, guns at the ready. A tune began to cascade down the slopes. It was slow and melodic, and one of the Salamanders began tapping his foot to the beat. In seconds the motion had escalated and the giant was swinging side to side in a low stance, shuffling backwards and waving his hands past his head. He shuffled into open ground and a tentacle erupted from the ground and tore him in half. Bolter fire raked it and it shot back under. Then the daemons resumed their assault, popping up all around them in blurs of purple activity. Blades lunged out and shots pinged from bolters, each hit being avoided by a dancing beauty. Hesh'Ka saw a Purifier embattled with four monstrous Fiends and jumped to his aid. He disembowled one with the power sword and shot another with a point-blank melta range. The Purifier drove his halberd into the fiends skull and fired his storm bolter twice, dissipating it. The last one jumped at Hesh'Ka, only to be cut down by Psilencer rounds from the Inquisitor. The Purifier lifted him to his feet.
"Good show, I'm Hillen, Knight of the Flame." The marine said through his grated vox.
"Hesh'Ka, captain of the sixth." Hesh'ka responded, drawing his bolt pistol and blasting a daemon between the eyes. The men nodded to each other and set back into the horde. Purple fire consumed the mountain now, but the tide of daemons had stopped coming. As the last vestiges of this surge were cut down, the Inquisitor looked to the mountain.
"This is no ordinary summoning. A great daemon is to be released if we don't get up there to stop it. I need you to send one thunderhawk to The Sacrosanct, and tell it to call for reinforcements. Tell them that protocol Deep Purple is being enacted under clearance Gold. Also, pick your ten best men here and come with me." Sizt said and began towards the mountain with his team. Hesh'Ka told the Scouts to go to orbit and selected his Honor Guard and five Sternguard Veterans to join him and the Inquisitor. Purple fire now formed a swirling tornado around the mountain. A flash of gold lit the world for a moment and twenty chariots flew from the tornado. Five were incapacitated before they hit the ground by focused fire from the Sternguard and more were dealt with as they charged. Four came to the area where the team stood, rotating blades churning up rocks and dirt as the seekers found their prey. The Purifiers formed a protective circle around the Inquisitor and Hesh'Ka's men dove out of the way of the gnashing blades. A whip caught the bearer of the squad's plasma gun in the shoulder and sent him into the maw of whirling blades. The Banner Bearer, Akashi, put the banner's end through the skull of the driver and mounted the seat. He steered the beasts into the other chariot in a fountain of gore. The two remaining chariots circled the group and bolter shots whirred past them, missing by centimeters. One came for another pass, but Psybolt fire cut her down. The last chariot tried to retreat, but the Inquisitor blew her apart.
"Men, move up. This ring means that the first bodyguard has arrived. Five times will this circle grow again if we don't stop it, and then on the 6th, the Great Beast will rise from his hiding and kill us all. It is apparent that this was no mere warband you chased here Captain Hesh'Ka. You chased the Pheonixes, original guardians of the Primarch Fulgrim more than 10,000 years ago." Sizt said with an air of both awe and terror.
"And let me guess. This 'Great Beast' is the daemon Fulgrim returning to the mortal plane?" Akashi asked, his armor bearing a great rent down the breast from his assault.
"In simple terms yes, and that would be bad. So lets stop a major incursion." Sizt said and plunged through the fire.