Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

This is the start - about a crew of Orcs and gobbos


'D'ere's only one Boss of der Four Seas! He'll bash in yer feckin 'ead and skin yer knees!'
'Quiet Lads!' roared Baltag Gut Spiller.

The towering Orc, face pocked with scorch marks ahd a dead parrot tied to his shoulder, glared at each of his boys. They had been up and down this hot Jungle coast for days now.
His gobbo lookout, Sqat, had spotted a lone elf ship somewhere in the distance, but they hadn't found any wreckage in the past week.
'And dis bucket is starting ta come apart!'

The rotten mast cracked and slowly toppled over, crushing a single orc while the rest seemed unfazed.
'Sos boss,' mumbled the next biggest Orc.
'We was gonna do one more verse...'
An orc holding the severed head of a beautiful woman and wearing her torn red dress grins.
'Yay!'
'Bunch of stinking Glitter Gits. If we don't find that ship soon, half the maggots here will be going overboard.'

Sqat squeaks.
Baltag leans over his catapult.
'You best pray we don't find it!'




'Gold! Gold and lots of lizards dat need killing! What did I tell you, lads?'
'Can I come down now, boss?" Sqat said.
Baltag regards the goblin.
'I wont stab you in the toes again.'
The horde mutters and avoids Baltags glare..
'Well is he's not gonna stab you in the toes, boss..'
Baltag sighs.
'Okay.'
The Orc cuts Sqat's ropes.
'Aww, thanks Bo-'
Baltag picked up the goblin and raised him up to his head.
Sqat stiffened as a hundred darts pierced his body.


Hundreds of orcs charge toward the Lizardmen pyramid.


The mighty slaan mage, hovering in an ornate golden throne, raised his hand and a wall of fire enveloped the horde. Awful screams and the stink of burning greenskin erupt.

'Now what was I saying?’
The toad like creature slowly scratched it’s chin.
‘Yes the -'
'Waaagh!’

Two hundred orcs, singed, and even angrier race toward ranks of Saurus marching up the hill to meet them.

'D'ere's only one Boss of der Four Seas! He'll bash in yer feckin 'ead and skin yer knees!'

It's evocative, but I had to re-read "D'ere's". It may just be me, but I felt it stuck on my eyes a bit until I realised it was "There's"

The towering Ork, face burned and dead parrot tied to shoulder, glares at each of his boys. They had been up and down this hot and creepy Jungle coast for days now.

Try: "The towering Ork glared at his boys, his burnt face scowling as his parrot clawed at his shoulder. They had been up and down this jungle all week."

I'm not trying to re-write this for you, I just feel that this flows more nicely and it's also not too good an idea to mix up the past and present tense

It's a very difficult task to write in a dialect and it's especially difficult when it's a fantasy race! I would err on the side of caution and be more conservative with it. Something like "What you gits messin' wiv now!" If you focus more on changing the grammar, rather than the words, you might find it works better. The main thing though is to keep writing!