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Militaristic meals requiring only minimal mastery of the mind and meaningful mastication.

Here lies instructions to create your very own meals from the Kookbooks of living (but more often than not, dead) Korzacks, from the barrelfires of weathered warfighters, to the prolifically parallel barrelfires of Korzack commoners, you too may enjoy recipes of the homeland!

1. Gu-lashes

Not to be mistaken with Goulash, Gulashes originated in the fabulous workers camps. Without them, the Korzack warmachine would starve, and without their lashes, so too would Korzacks.

Materials

A whole Avian - or whatever looks good, be it boots, leather, tank rubber, wood, ferrocrete, raw sewage, it's all the same to the Tyrannids, why not you?
Gallon of Water - Or sweat, blood, or piss - preferably your own, after all, good in, good out so sayith commissar and survival expert Byeras "Piss-head" Griliuz.
1 40lb bag of brown Rice - Or lice, or mice, or every Cadian named bryce .
1. Jalapeno - Or the red fist of an Imperial Fist
1 container of Spice - From planet Arrakkis, or Tallaran, whichever is more readily available.
1 Cup of salt, can be distilled or decanted from your body or another's.

Instructions

Boil water above barrel fire, be sure not to douse fire, be sure that fire cannot be seen by an enemy - both will cause meal to be ended shortly.
Put main ingredient in pot of boiling liquid.
Add 40lbs of secondary substance
Add other ingredients, boil for 19 hours.

Be the Imperial Gaurdsmen that survives your fist 15 hours, add fallen comrades affect's as garnish, and enjoy your hard earned lashes.

what did i just read?

Entertainment from a very bored mind.

hahaha you dont say