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Good evening ladies, gentleman and xenos.

I recently started a blood angels army and thought of an interesting idea. One troup of Terminatours from the heresy era has been sent to help another legion in that time. However they get ordered back to Terra as the heresy culminates. Now, they prepare for warpjump, everything goes as expected. However the jump not only transfers through space but also through time. They make their way into reality around the current time of 40k. They aid a significant aid in a war against trators in the system they clash into. Yeah I know "what a coincidence! :O" but I just like that dramatic thought.
The chapter of the Blood Angels reforms them into their chapter as the Cataphractii are formidable fighter, besting even the best of their chapter.
I have even written a short story for their arrival on Predem Secundus. The narrator is a depictor, not sure if right word. The guys who take films and pictures of wars, heck!

*Predem is a world of black stone and churned earth. It wasnt always so. The Bearers of the Word sacrificed all of its prospering life to their foul gods. I am Kyerem Salak. I am here to deliver the stories of this wars to our descendants.
The Angels stand upon the black soil. They ravage the enemies, yet the Bearers drive them back. They are aided by horryfing beings. Wretched and evil. Beings which should not exists, defying the laws of nature by their existence.
Captain Ariemes leads the assault, yet one by one falls to dust. For every Word Bearer who falls to ground, more take his place.*

-A sudden explosion and a beam of light shatter into the fortress of the Word Bearers-

*What was that? The Trators run and try to exit their fortress? No...they do not run, the flee! What did happen inside of there? A fine red mist parts the gate, a pair of shrieking claws, saphire blue circuits lining them, cut the dust appart. Its a Blood Angel! Eight more follow him, everyone armed different but that is not the pattern of armour that terminators bear....They must be Cataphracts, relics of ancient times of glory!*

-The Cataphractii with the claws lets his thundering voice tremble across the battlefield- "Traitors of humanity! Wretches and genetic overspill! Face the fierce fury of the Angel!" -He leaps forward, surprisingly movable for a landraider on two feet, and crashes 6 traitors with one sweep of his claw. His companions shreding, bludgeoning and ravaging every foe who dares to stand infront of them.-

"The war is swiftly won through the surprise effect of the Angels"

Ariemes : "Who are you, Blood Angel?"
Mereanes : "My name is Mereanes, son of the Sanguinius. What is happening on Terra?"
Ariemes : "What do you mean? Another trick of the enemy to lure us?"
Mereanes : "Horus, the traitor son, he assaults Terra. He wants to tear the Empire down!"
Ariemes: "T-that happened almost 10'000 years ago.......That would explain your armour and your unknown intervention. Are you one of those who have fought beside the Angel, before....his demise"
Mereanes: "The Angel, Lord Sanguinius...He is dead? " -the eyes of Mereanes darken, a shadow passing his face- "When are we going to be reunited with our legion?"
Ariemes: "First of all. There are no more Legiones Astartes. That is however another story. We will have to report to Chapter Master Dante. He must learn of you."
Mereanes : "Very well then, guide the path, Commander."



What do you think? I know , it needs a whole load of work on it, probably unfluffy but I kinda liked the idea. Tell me your ideas! Feel free to criticise as long as you can keep it polite, of course ;D

I liked the Idea in general, but it's a little short, & I don't think that Mereanes would just follow someone who he just met. He's 10k years older, He might be a little be more cautious, about anyone who's saying Horus is Dead, Sanguinius is dead. And the universe is fethed.

Just proof read the bit you have written up to make sure if you can't swap out some word. Apart from that i liked it, though it could do with streching out and more description about their armour and the ebb and flow of battle.
Keep it up