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Made in us
Storm Trooper with Maglight





Ishtar Sub-Sector (40k)

I am gonna be posting a series of battles written like Fluff but are actual battles that only have been modified to sound fluffy/ to eliminate any actual fluff characters like Shadowsun of the Tau. These are actual outcomes of battles between my Bloodmoon Hunters Chapter and Regiment vs my friend's Tau Army lead by Various versions of Shadowsun. Each week we play a low point battle, this first battle was a 500pt battle based off of Big Guns (though neither of us have heavy support lol). So read on and tell me what you guys think.

PS I have my friend's permission to posts these and they are vetted by him as well.


Tau vs Bloodmoon Hunters Space Marines (2nd Company)

During a war on the northern most contested world in the eastern fringe near the Tau empire. The planet’s name is Cyprus Eden, an agriculture world for the Imperium of Man. During a review of the firing line by the chapter master of the setup done by two squads guarding the corridor to the Imperial Guard regiments main fire support battery, the Fire Warriors of the Tau open fire onto Chapter Master Michael Dread and Senior Sergeant of the line. The Chapter Master ordered an Orbital Bombardment from the Battle Barge Terra Nova onto the charging Kroot as they swarmed from the Tau line. As the remaining Kroot regrouped the enemy line commander and her squad of stealth suits launched a surprise attack from behind the lines killing the half the squad that was left behind to guard a checkpoint as the other half went with the chapter master. The assassins then snipped all but the sergeant of the second checkpoint, leaving him to be overrun for when her forces swarmed the line not realizing that the forward movement had been halted by the Chapter Master and the Squad that was with him. The remaining Kroot sniped and killed majority of the Sgt. Nick Carver’s squad while a fast attacking piranha tried to flank and attack from the side. With a well placed shot from the Dread’s plasma pistol, he shot right into the cockpit blowing the piranha into pieces as Carver picked off the remaining Kroot with his own plasma pistol. Commander Darkfell upon hearing from her fire warriors about the Kroot’s failures, she turned her squad to attack Michael Dread and Sgt. Nick Carver. They closed into close combat where the Chapter Master and Sergeant showed their martial prowess as they eliminated the threat. The Fire Warriors upon hearing their commander defeat called for a cease fire.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/07/03 15:06:25


"We have all and none. Death better come to the other bastard first." - SSG Alton, 19th Valerian Light Infantry Regiment

"With iron and fire the beast shall be lain low at the hands of the Hunters whose home is under the Bloodmoon." - Bloodmoon Hunters Chapter

"Bring on the Angels of Blood and Darkness as thy descend from the heavens to smite our enemies. Let the Wolves of war rend and tear our foes to pieces. And we of the Bloodmoon Hunters shall bring the iron and fire as our vehicles crush all that oppose us under our treads." - Tech-Captain of the Bloodmoon Hunters

My 40k Armies:
Bloodmoon Hunters (Iron Hands Successors)
Lunar Venatorii Regiments (Astra Miltarium)
Mjior Prime Expediton (Skitarii/Admech)
Ordo Machinum (Inquisition) 
   
Made in us
Slaanesh Veteran Marine with Tentacles





Green Bay, Wisconsin

Michael Dread you say. Nick Carver you say. Are these real hooomans? Anyway, nice idea. But it suffers from being so short. It's transitions are iffy and need some sharpening, also is your chapter named the blood moons? Space Marine orks anyone?

Formerly TheObsidianKing lost my password.

Ten thousand poisons

Join cybernations

http://www.cybernations.net/default.asp?Referrer=High%20Emperor%20Aggron 
   
Made in gb
Thunderhawk Pilot Dropping From Orbit





Agreed, it sounds short and disjoined at times. Have linking sentences between the action like.

(rough example) The tau snuk up on the chapter master and said man and where able to lay an amush, they take cover nearby. the weight of fire was so intense and the ambush so complete that Chapter Master was forced to call down obital support, etc.

You have most of what you need already writen, you need to add more that's all.

Come into my web, said the spider to the fly.
Come rest your wings, and let us talk eye to eye.
For I am a spider, and you are the fly. Now that you are here, let us sit, and say hi.
But I have have no morsel to share, nor anything to eat. But wait, what is that stickiness upon your feet.
Ah now I have you, now I can eat. Now I can enjoy you, or store you as meat.
For I am the spider, and you are the fly. How else could it have gone, between one such as you, and one such as I.
 
   
Made in au
Conniving Informer





Sydney

Mate, you've got a cracking opportunity to pen some awesome fanfic based upon your ongoing battles. I wish I'd done it when I still had mates that played for fun!

In my opinion, you should ditch the narrator-in-the-sky style of writing, and write from a character's perspective for each battle-report. Pick Nick Carver this week, Judge Dredd the next, and Awe'sum of to Tao the next.

It'd be a good test of writing skill and ability and a great way to fluff out the imagination of your games by adding personality to your model's stories.

"Write drunk; edit sober."

- Hemmingway

www.adriancollins.com.au
www.facebook.comAdrianCollins.Author 
   
Made in us
Storm Trooper with Maglight





Ishtar Sub-Sector (40k)

Here is the Second battle of Cyprus Eden. Its a little longer being a 1000 pt battle. So go ahead and tell me what you think so I can make it better before making this stuff an article on my chapter. Also I am working on the Fluff for the rest of the surrounding system/ and Regiment so any tips there would be appreciated. Also thanks to the idea above I will also be coming out with first person encounters as well, but this will probably be based off the Kill Team series my club is starting in a couple of weeks.

Tau vs Bloodmoon Hunters Space Marines (2nd Company) (2nd Battle)

Chapter Master Michael Dread called for a reinforcement of the center line after the stealth assault that decimated his squads. These squads were the main defense for the important points in front of the big guns stationed around Cyprus Eden’s main space port. 2nd Space Marine Company of the Bloodmoon Hunters Chapter, whose command area is this key area, deployed two more tactical marine squads and a terminator squad. While the defenders of Cyprus Eden redeployed, the Tau brought in more troops sending no less than four squads of fire warriors with Kroot support and another piranha to cover their troops. The enemy command tried to flank the space marines as soon as another orbital bombardment dropped on the oncoming fire warriors decimating one squad to a single survivor. An advance Stealth Suit team attacked the emplaced space marine squad covering the western point of this portion of the line while Crisis Suits dropped right in front of them, releasing a hurricane of fire unto the western squad and Michael Dread himself. The Beleaguered Space Marines fought valiantly but if it wasn’t for the timely intervention of the Legion of the Damn landing right behind the attacking forces. The distraction cost them, their lives, and all could have been lost if it wasn’t for their timely intrusion into the battlefield. With that intervention the Space Marines were able to drive them back foot by foot, gaining the valuable time to reorganize and strike back. A squad of Kroot tried the Eastern Flank of the line coming into contact with the heaviest of Space Marines the dreaded Terminators, led by no other than the veteran sergeant Archimedes Killjoy, who unleashed a hurricane of bolts into them decimating their numbers as they move cumbrously into the center of the battlefield bringing death and destruction in their wake. The center squad of Space Marines seeing opportunity lent their support to the Western squad helping them drive the Tau back. The toll for driving the Tau back though was high with the deaths of most of the western squad and the entirety of those legionnaires that aided in this battle. While the Tau were merely driven back losing most of two squads of Fire Warriors, a couple Crisis Suits, a few Stealth Suits and many Kroot Warriors

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/07/03 15:04:37


"We have all and none. Death better come to the other bastard first." - SSG Alton, 19th Valerian Light Infantry Regiment

"With iron and fire the beast shall be lain low at the hands of the Hunters whose home is under the Bloodmoon." - Bloodmoon Hunters Chapter

"Bring on the Angels of Blood and Darkness as thy descend from the heavens to smite our enemies. Let the Wolves of war rend and tear our foes to pieces. And we of the Bloodmoon Hunters shall bring the iron and fire as our vehicles crush all that oppose us under our treads." - Tech-Captain of the Bloodmoon Hunters

My 40k Armies:
Bloodmoon Hunters (Iron Hands Successors)
Lunar Venatorii Regiments (Astra Miltarium)
Mjior Prime Expediton (Skitarii/Admech)
Ordo Machinum (Inquisition) 
   
Made in gb
Thunderhawk Pilot Dropping From Orbit





It sounds ok but you need to string it out more with more detail and slow it down. It seems jumpy or rushed to read.

Come into my web, said the spider to the fly.
Come rest your wings, and let us talk eye to eye.
For I am a spider, and you are the fly. Now that you are here, let us sit, and say hi.
But I have have no morsel to share, nor anything to eat. But wait, what is that stickiness upon your feet.
Ah now I have you, now I can eat. Now I can enjoy you, or store you as meat.
For I am the spider, and you are the fly. How else could it have gone, between one such as you, and one such as I.
 
   
Made in gb
Renegade Inquisitor de Marche






Elephant Graveyard

Writing from the first person or at least the first person looking back might be beneficial to turn this into actual fluff as opposed to just telling us what happened.

Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
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