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How much deference are first founding chapters afforded over a second or subsequently founded chapter. I mean on name alone, obviously a second founding chapter with a large battle history and reputation would have a lot of gravitas, but would it be treated the same or have access to the cool toys as say a Salamanders or Iron Hands force? How much does being a first founding chapter count for in terms of authority or respect?

First founding chapters are given more respect than other founding chapters. First founding chapters also tend to get new gear before them, like terminator armor and such. The other chapters probably do get gear, and they would get more depending on how important they seem, but First Founding chapters get more toys sooner.

Well, most of the 'cool toys' in the Imperium are ancient relics, so you would see those in First and Second Founding Chapters a lot more than in later Chapters.
Whether a Chapter gets new gear sooner or later will probably depend on their relation to the AdMech, as it is the AdMech that supplies the SM Chapters. Of course, the First Founding Chapters are the most revered of all Space Marines, so all of them should easily be able to get new stuff before others get it.