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Made in nl
[MOD]
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Still working on First Contact, just somehow managed to write myself into a kerfuffle where I have an ending and a beginning, but the middle..

However, somewhere in the long run, this will somehow tie into the rest of the adventures of the 102nd Expeditionary Fleet under the command of the Rogue Trader Militant Beauchamp.

Who knows, maybe this is all taking place on Minerva?

+ + +

Number seven.
Female.
Adolescent.
Eyes: brown.
Hair: blonde.
No distinctive marks visible so far.

Note: massive trauma suffered, body below abdomen missing.


The medic looked up from her scribbled observation, studying what remained of the body again. Massive trauma was the politest way to describe what she saw: a young woman torn in two, the bottom half of her body absent, somewhere nearby, discarded like refuse by her opponent no doubt.

It was a violent way to die, the poor thing. And yet, her pale face, bloodied and marred, yet somehow serene. It reminded the medic of the plastic face used on CPR dummies. Had she accepted her fate as it happened, or did it occur while she lay there, life rapidly leaving her destroyed body? She looked so young, too young.

How old was she?

Reluctantly a gloved hand slid inside the jacket and gingerly pulled the cognomen discs free. There was a sigh as the poor things date of birth was discovered. Only just seventeen, still very much a child on her way to womanhood, such a waste of potential. But, wars were greedy and indiscriminate, their opponents certainly did not care what they were laying into. Both discs were torn free from their chain, one disappeared into a pouch after her name and age were written down, the other was gingerly put in the mouth of the dead girl. Almost as an afterthought the gloved hand slid over the eyes, shutting them. She may be dead, but it was the least that could be done for her. It felt respectful, it felt right.

'May you find peace in your next life,' the medic quietly muttered, closing her own eyes for a moment. May your next one be lived to the fullest, she added mentally. She was getting too involved again, something she had promised she wouldn't do any more. She opened them again, giving the girl one last look before moving on. The medic made a mental note to keep an eye out for the rest of her body, as hopeless as it was, it felt like the right thing to do, the dead being buried as intact as possible.

Karoline Rockatansky sighed at the task. This wasn't a battlefield she was searching through, it was a charnel house, the beasts fought with reckless abandon, leaving few wounded, they were too thorough in killing everything they came across.

She was about to make her way over to a clawed hand sticking out from the lip of a crater when she heard something that didn't belong. Something other than the soft blow of the wind and the cawing of the always hungry birds flying overhead. It sounded like the purring of a mechanical device.

Dropping down into a crouch Karoline focused, slowly moving her head around, trying to find the source of the sound. There is was again, the purr of something that sounded an awful lot like a saw. It was followed by a horrible wet crunching sound and something that sounded like laughter, only the sound came from a monster's throat.

Rising from the crater was one of them: a beast. A massive, deformed mass of green muscle and leather, it's head an ugly misshapen mess of crooked teeth and eyes glowing a malevolent red. How did she not hear it? Was it already here? Damn, could those bastards ever be quiet at the most inopportune of moments.

The beast had not yet noticed her, it admired something in its massive paw for a moment, turning it to and fro before tossing it aside with a dismissive grunt. A severed head landed not far from Karoline, the stump of the neck showing rough cuts where a saw went through it. She was about to quietly back away when it turned and saw Karoline.

She froze, locking gazes with the beast, who likewise paused.

It was a vile thing, as vile as its brethren. It did look different however, sporting a bloodied apron, several rusty and blood encrusted tools dangling from leather loops. Was this one of their medics then? A counterpart to Karoline? Perhaps the beast was thinking likewise, as its ugly mouth curled into an even uglier smile and it started to rumble, as if chuckling. It raised its right arm, a crude mechanical claw where the hand used to be. Each finger ended in a syringe, saw or scalpel. Her eyes were drawn to the saw in particular, which was dripping with blood. Slowly Karoline slid her right hand to her thigh, her gloved fingers carefully grabbing hold of the weapon strapped to her own leg.

The beast took a lumbering step forward and raised its mechanical limb menacingly, growling something in its alien tongue. Karoline simply rose up from her crouch and pulled her own weapon free. There was a -click- as she cocked it. The beast noticed this and studied the weapon for a moment, before deciding that it probably wasn't much of a threat.

The beast roared its battle cry and charged forward, the saw on its claw whirring into life. It was like looking at an incoming freight train, the way it pounded towards her. She had fought them before and by now knew that they weren't known for their finesse or creativity, the beast clearly telegraphing that it wanted to make a wild horizontal swing, one that would be easily dodged by jumping aside.

Karoline threw herself clear, into a crater full of reeking viscera and gore. She tried to kick herself free of the disgusting muck she found herself in but the beast got to her first, its massive left hand reaching for her and easily lifting her up. It had her by the throat and pulled her in close, the vile stench of its breath making her gag. It started to laugh again as it flexed its right hand, the tools on the end purring and gnashing, no doubt intending to take her head or do something equally sinister with the devices.

Karoline smiled, her white teeth standing out in stark contrast to her gore streaked face, as she brought up her shotgun and shoved it upwards into its open maw, pulling both triggers. Two barrels discharged at once, into the roof of the mouth of the beast and up into whatever passed for a brain. It had the desired effect as the beast spasmed and dropped Karoline, keeling over onto the ground.

Tinnitus lingered for a few moments as Karoline slowly clambered to her feet, looking round to see if there were any more of the things around. As she did so she snapped her weapon open and let the two spent cartridges fly out, quickly reloading it. She flipped it shut again with a deft flick of the wrist, having long since perfected such a simple act.

Satisfied that she was both alone and could feel her hearing return, she turned her attention to the beast she had killed. There had been first stories, then reports that the beasts could shrug off quite the amount of trauma before dropping dead. Seemingly tall tales of soldiers recounting how they kept fighting on despite missing limbs or being blown into pieces. Not this one though.. Two barrels of a shotgun did the trick, the top of the head blown outwards and away.

She spat onto the ruin that was once the head of the beast, then calmly stuck the shotgun back into the holster strapped to her upper leg, giving it an affectionate pat on the grip.

She wasn't the sentimental sort, but the shotgun was something of an exception, as it had at one point belonged to her father, a laird of some stature who enjoyed a good hunt every now and then. It had once been a fine weapon, handmade for the specific purpose of shooting birds, but now, after a night with a saw and file, it was more compact, with most of the barrel and stock removed. It made for a brutishly effective self-defence weapon.

With one last look at the beast Karoline resumed her grim work.

Several hours later she returned to the forward post, caked in dried blood and other fluids. She waved aside the worried sentry with an irritated snarl that she was alright, heading straight for the CO's office, a former store of sorts, now long ransacked of anything worthwhile. Arrayed around the building were several tents, the sorry remnants of what at one point been a company of soldiers, but now whittled down to a platoon, though that was being generous.

She knocked once and didn't wait for a reply, she simply entered. He looked like gak, he had a lot to worry about. Though Karoline probably looked worse, judging by the look she was giving him. Was he shaking?

'Twenty-seven,' she said as she handed him a fist full of cognomen discs. 'There may be more out there, but we both know the beast makes a mess of its victims.'

All the man could utter was a quiet 'damn it' as he let the discs slip from his hand, clattering onto his desk in ones and twos. She gave a nod and left the man to it, he had a lot of letters to write to next of kin before the night was over.

Karoline was about the exit the building when the sudden crack of a pistol discharging made her jump, half-turning to face the source, her right hand half-pulling the shotgun free. She saw her former commanding officer, slumping forward, the side of his head blown out, the contents of his head smeared across the wall. From a limp hand slid his service pistol, still smoking as it thumped to the floor.

A moment later the sentry stormed in, machine pistol drawn. He paused when he saw what had happened, not quite believing it.

'Did he..?'

'He took the coward's way out. You may want to inform sergeant Dolton that she's in charge of this sorry mess now, whether she likes it or not.'

'Crap,' was all the soldier could manage before storming out again. Karoline could hear him repeat the word over and over again outside, louder as each word was accompanied by a kick to the wooden wall, until there was the sound of wood splintering.

She ignored him for a moment, instead gathering the discs from the desk with a weary sigh. Looks like she'd have to write those twenty-seven letters herself.

Exiting the building she found the sentry, panting, a splinter poking from his trouser leg, a blotch of blood around it slowly increasing in size.

'I'm fine,' he snarled, angrily stomping off to find the last remaining NCO still in the camp. Nerves were frayed to say the least. At least he wasn't blowing his brains out like his erstwhile commanding officer, they were going to need all the bodies they had if they would ever stand a chance of..

Who was she kidding? How many of those letters she was to write would ultimately reach someone? The war had raged for a little more than three years now. It had progressed to a stage where they were forced to send kids to their premature deaths because everybody else was already filling a uniform or a shallow grave. Yet the beasts? They showed no signs of growing weak or having their ranks drastically thinned with each battle. It was as if they thrived on war.

She pulled a crumpled carton of cigarettes from the fold of her rolled up sleeve and lit one, gazing dead ahead of her, idly running her thumb over one of the cognomen discs.

They were all screwed, this was a war they could never win.



Fatum Iustum Stultorum



Fiat justitia ruat caelum

 
   
Made in gb
Raging Rat Ogre





England, UK

This is the first piece of your writing I've read and it's an interesting introduction to your style. I'm assuming you're female, which makes you only the third female GW fanfic writer I've read, and I find the differences between male and female writing to be very noticeable.

Men tend to write more aggressively, and be more occupied with what the characters are doing, whereas women tend to include more feeling, emotion and thoughts. I'm going to use your writing as inspiration to make my own characters deeper and more realistic.

There are a number of minor grammatical issues throughout. It mainly relates to use of commas where full stops, colons and semi-colons might be more appropriate. "They were all screwed, this was a war they could never win" would become "They were all screwed: this was a war they could never win". I cannot coach anyone about grammar because I am not super-happy with my own.

I liked the idea of putting one of the soldier's dog-tags in their mouths when they're dead, it was a strange ritual which differentiates your regiment from the vanilla "Saving Private Ryan in space" some people write about.

Upcoming work for 2022:
* Calgar's Barmy Pandemic Special
* Battle Sisters story (untitled)
* T'au story: Full Metal Fury
* 20K: On Eagles' Wings
* 20K: Gods and Daemons
 
   
Made in nl
[MOD]
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Thanks for reading and the feedback!

First off, hehehe, I am very much a chap, though I am of the lonely and squeamish sort, which may explain why I write so many female characters these days. Maybe it's a cry for help?

This was supposed to be more violent and to the point in a choppy sort of way, as it had been pointed out to me in the past that the folks around here love their violence more over the slower stuff. But, violence and other things can go hand in hand.

English is not my first language, so the grammatical errors will most likely haunt me for the rest of my life.

As for putting tags in mouths, it is a practice done by some military back in the day when they are unable to retrieve the bodies at the time, thus ensuring that the tag stays with the body, even if years have passed since. Though seeing as they're up against Orks, I doubt it will help much..



Fatum Iustum Stultorum



Fiat justitia ruat caelum

 
   
Made in gb
Raging Rat Ogre





England, UK

Sorry about that, it's because your avatar is female (apparently) and not too many male writers bother writing about emotions, or portray them in any depth. They also typically avoid female lead characters.

No offence was intended, I simply assumed on the basis of you being skilled in areas that are stereotypically female - you're carrying the fight to the girls on behalf of all men. And you've inspired me to create more female characters, particularly leads.

Upcoming work for 2022:
* Calgar's Barmy Pandemic Special
* Battle Sisters story (untitled)
* T'au story: Full Metal Fury
* 20K: On Eagles' Wings
* 20K: Gods and Daemons
 
   
Made in nl
[MOD]
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Hehe, none taken whatsoever, no worries there.

I very much like to think that the setting of 30k/40k promotes equality for all (unless you're a mutant) and as such, I tend to write the characters as neutral as possible for the most part, unless I have a strong idea of what I want the character to be like. Or sometimes the general idea gets rewritten a few times over as I juggle between characters, to see who would fit best into the setting. It certainly helps that the now mostly dead range of roleplay books by FFG are heavy on having both genders do their thing, instead of it being just a massive sausage fest.

In this case though, I have a mini on my desk for an upcoming Halloween event that's a medic from Raging Heroes, with a sawn-off shotgun kitbashed on. This is mainly due to watching a lot of Fury Road and playing the tie-in game. For this story I took some elements of the Max character that I personally like (along with his surname) and threw them together. Then I just started with "shotgun blowing out brains" and worked my way out from there. I'm not sure where the character will end up at the end of the day, but right now we got someone who has a sense of duty, but at the same time is perhaps cynical about the outcome of the war. Plus, who knows what happened before she wound up there?

But, there will be more grrrls fighting against the aliens for sure, as that's what the fluff for my 30k regiment is like, plus they come from a world called Minerva, oh so subtle. Hue hue hue.



Fatum Iustum Stultorum



Fiat justitia ruat caelum

 
   
Made in gb
Raging Rat Ogre





England, UK

What's interesting is, I feel like I'm learning a lot from you and the more you post, the more I learn. I don't often read something and feel my brain switching on. That's no insult to other authors, it's purely a compliment to you.

Horus Heresy era stories might promote equality among humans (although there is definitely a pecking order from least to most: humans-astartes-primarchs-emperor). However in 40K, the only "equality" is that everyone is equally worthless. There's a much more negative tone in the 40K universe.

Upcoming work for 2022:
* Calgar's Barmy Pandemic Special
* Battle Sisters story (untitled)
* T'au story: Full Metal Fury
* 20K: On Eagles' Wings
* 20K: Gods and Daemons
 
   
Made in nl
[MOD]
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Just be sure to warn me when I start waffling, I forget to unplug the iron every once in a while.

But yeah, the Horus Heresy novels in particular really push the equality to the fore a lot, by having important posts of high stature populated by a wide variety of characters, some competent, some not. It's subtle perhaps, but it nicely shows that the Imperium at that point was the place to be, whether you liked it or not. I find myself drawn to the boundless optimism of the pre-Heresy era, those two short centuries of amazing progress and light, all too swiftly cast down again. I'm not looking forward to writing about that stage when I finally get to it, but tackle it I shall. Mind, the Imperium then was very much the same "join us or die" entity spreading across the galaxy like a cancer as it is now, but it was for a just cause, how misguided it may have been. I plan on sticking to the glamour of the Great Crusade though.

Mainly because we've already got 40k, which is an insanely depressing stage of the Imperium, where agreed, the essence of the setting really is that you're not entitled to your happiness, nope. Though this may be in part due to the guidelines set down by GW itself with regards to the setting. There are no clean victories or happy endings, it all ends on a bitter note and the lingering question if it was worth it all.

Hmm, I feel an idea stirring, maybe it's time to revive an old concept I have resting in a dusty folder on my hard drive.



Fatum Iustum Stultorum



Fiat justitia ruat caelum

 
   
Made in gb
Raging Rat Ogre





England, UK

I agree. The HH makes 40K seem depressing and cartoony in a childish, hack-writing way.

The HH series is the bes thing the Black Library ever did by a mile. They got into the New York Times list for a reason.

Upcoming work for 2022:
* Calgar's Barmy Pandemic Special
* Battle Sisters story (untitled)
* T'au story: Full Metal Fury
* 20K: On Eagles' Wings
* 20K: Gods and Daemons
 
   
 
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