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Welcome to Webway Hold'em, a skit series about people playing poker in the Webway and featuring slightly modified rules due to me being too lazy to look up all of the nitty-gritty rules for actual poker. The rules of the game are explained as the skit goes on, but mostly adhere to Texas Hold'em. This is meant to be a humorous exercise and a bit of a logic puzzle for y'all to figure out what happened in these crazy games of poker. Don't take the logic part too seriously--there are clues in the skits, but mostly I'd like to see your conspiracies run wild. I have three skits prepared so far and will post one every few days. The solution to the previous skit will be included in the next one.
And so, here is the inaugural hand of Webway Hold'em.
Table 1
The Emperor, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver are playing their regular game. The dealer is Mork (or is it Gork?). It doesn't really matter which one--brutally kunnin' or kunnin'ly brutal, for some reason everyone believes that they're a fair dealer, and as long as everyone believes that they can be trusted, they can be.
Gork (or is it Mork?) deals the cards. The Emperor has an 8 and 9 of Hearts. Tzeentch has a 9 of clubs and 9 of diamonds. Cegorach has two jokers, which have been marked by the dealer to represent the missing Jacks of spades and diamonds. The Deceiver has the 9 of Spades and 4 of Spades. Once the hands are dealt, the dealer immediately deals three cards known in Webway Hold'em as "the tunnel." They are as follows: Jack of Hearts, King of Hearts, Ace of Hearts.
These beings are wagering the only thing that is of value to them: souls. The Emperor wagers 1000, very traditional for him at the start of a round following his daily influx of funds. Really, he's pulling this expected start to disguise his strong hand--he's already got a flush. Tzeentch grins and calls, explaining that it's more than willing to wager a thousand sons against the corpse-emperor. Emps doesn't respond to the jibe. Cegorach laughs and ups the wager to 2000 souls--after all, three jacks is a strong hand. The Deceiver doesn't really have anything, but he bluffs it anyway and calls. The Emperor calls, Tzeentch folds, and that's the end of the first round of betting.
Now Mork (or is it Gork?) deals the "Profundus," or fourth card. It is a Queen of Hearts. Emps cautiously raises the bid to 3000 souls, which Cegorach cackingly calls. The Deceiver continues to bluff that he has something of value and ups the bid to 4000. The Emperor calls. Cegorach hesitates, then calls. That's the end of the second round.
Gork (or is it Mork?) deals the last card, called the "gate." It's a 10 of Hearts, meaning the Emperor has a Royal Flush "reaching 7," or extending 7 cards instead of the prerequisite 5 and breaking any possible ties. Of course, it means that everyone has a Royal Flush, since the five cards are just sitting openly on the table. Of course, if everyone has one, then really no one has one except for the Emperor. Being a cagey player who doesn't want to scare off the competition, Emps ups the wager modestly to 8000 souls. Cegorach, notoriously cautious with the souls of his followers, folds at this aggressive bid. The Deceiver calls, and when the cards are laid out the Emperor wins all 21,000 souls that were on the table.
Assuming that our Orkish dealer is a fair arbitrator, who cheated, and why?
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