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Is sepia wash just retributor gold watered down? It seems to me to be that very fact...does anyone actually know this for sure?

That seems extremely unlikely to me... is sepia wash metallic?

EDIT: Also, since your post isn't a tutorial, you should not post it in the tutorial forum

No. Sepia wash is a transparent yellow-brown colour. Retributor gold is a ~opaque metallic yellow gold colour (not totally opaque in my experience).

I take it you properly shook/stirred your gold, otherwise it probably would seperate into what one might describe as a yellow brown wash and a thick metallic sludge...

No.

However, it is platimum blonde hair in a bottle.