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Start off with a relatively simple army. You might be handicapping yourself with a less-than-optimal army build but complex stratagem/aura/relic combinations don't actually HELP if you don't set them up right or forget to use them.
"More Dudes With Stabby Things" on the other hand is always going to benefit you; even if it just means it takes longer to wipe out a unit. Plus, as noted, three squads of generic dudes can be in three seperate places, and even if one squad of elite murderdudes wipes out their opponents you're still winning 2-1 on objectives taken.
As you gain experience, both with the game in general and your army in particular, add in the specialist and complex stuff.
Agreed that the specific problem of salamanders and grey knights is "that last few inches" of ground - with a flamer and melta happy army, or a bajillion stormbolters, it's easy to take so many casualties that your generally superior (or at least superior for points if not necessarily model-for-model) melee punch doesn't get eroded.
Generally, if you need to pin down shooty stuff then fast stuff is the answer; even if it can't win it can pin it in place long enough for the heavy mob to arrive.
If you have teleporting stuff, that can work too. You might want to look at Emperor's Children - they have a stratagem called Honour The Prince which is great for making a teleport-in-and-charge without letting opponents get a shot off (beyond overwatch).
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