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this is the background story for said =][= munda campaign the thread for the campaign is in the p&m section, the fluff will not be very serious
here goes

Welcome to the =][= archives, please enter passcode
=][=processing passcode=][=
passcode accepted welcome Inquisitor...

Recording taken from Inquisitorial Servo-skull "Murray"
Thought for the day- do not use the powerfist hand to wipe

=][= Ruined city, Inquisitorial figures are crouched behind a wall, the leader speaks, he is identifiable as Vipus Valentine =][=
VALENTINE: "Murray are you getting this?"
MURRAY: "Affirmitive"
VALENTINE: "Good, if we get our =][=Purity Censored=][= rammed through our eyeballs, at least they'll know what happened"
=][= A sister hospitaller speaks =][=
SISTER HOSPITALLER:"Good to know you haven't lost your positive attitude Vipus"
VALENTINE: "Be quiet! we have to know if there still out there, if they get their traitorous hands on that bomb, were all going to end up inside out or something"
=][= Valentine turns to a servitor =][=
VALENTINE: " Go and scan for Those mercenary scum"
SERVITOR: "1101010100111010101011001"
VALENTINE: "Now's not the time for fear, or binary, just go out there"
=][= The servitor heads out from behind the wall =][=
VALENTINE: "Murray, you follow him too"
MURRAY: "I WILL OBEY"
=][= The servitor moves clear from the cover, immediately he is hit by several shots =][=
SERVITOR: "Syntax error, press CTRL ALT DEL to resta...*Bleep*"
=][= The servitor dies, then a shot hits the servo skull recording the file =][=
VALENTINE (audio): "Damn they got Murray, let's teach the slime a thing or two about flamers guys!"
=][= Recording ends, Vipus Valentine missing, presumed dead, suggested action: send a ham to his wife =][=

Round 2:

The ruins of the city were bathed in the ruddy glow of a hastily prepared campfire, around it sat seven men, dressed in Imperial Guard issue flak armour, coloured grey and black. A man, with stern features and a commanding presence stood and addressed the group.
"I know times have been tough lately, little buisiness and a fair few bounty hunters on our tail but tonight, gentlemen, all that is about to change"
The group's eyes turned to face the man
"I have come across information on a certain artefact, one which could help us... persuade others to do what we want"
A mysterious looking man with a hooded head spoke
"It must be some kind of shovel, to dig us out of the gak we're in"
The standing man shot him an icy look
"No I'll tell you what it is, the Goliath bomb"
The circle was silent for about half a second, before every man save the standing one burst into harsh laughter
"what? Stop laughing! I'm serious! SHUT UP!!!!"
This last remark silenced the group, one man who had been jumping around with laughter, stopped in mid air and fell three feet to the floor
"Ow" he said
"Listen, I have reliable-ish maps to locate the bomb, when we have it, we can bribe the planetary governor into lending us a ship to get off this blasted hellhole"
The group considered this, it was an insane plan, but just insane enough to work

Round 2.5

A tall man with a ceremonial powersword burst into the room. He wore black carapace armour and grey fatigues.
The rest of the men in the room stood to attention and saluted. "Gentlemen, we are in grave danger, a group of runaway PDF troopers have discovered the near about location of the Goliath bomb." His sentence was greeted with gasps and quizical looks. "I have faith in every one of you to do whatever it takes to save this planet from destruction, Ave Imperator." The men echoed back an Ave Imperator and boarded there Chimera APC.

I dont mind at all you are involved too in the 'paign

Round 3

=][= ALERT! the following information is extremely delicate and requires proper authorisation =][=
=][= Please allow us to confirm your identity using a simple blood test press any key to accept =][=
=][= Good, now this wont hurt a bit... =][=
=][= DNA confirmed, and for being such a brave boy/girl a lollipop will be dispensed to you after the viewing =][=

++Munitions file 85886-Goliath Bomb++
Thought for the day: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,

Greetings, inquisitor, The following file contains sensitive data about a form of pre-heresy weapon known as the goliath bomb, The first Goliath Bombs were comissioned by the Emperor's personal weapons advisor, Fabricator-General Blastius Bangum. He planted a small warp rift generator in each bomb, this meant that detonation would cause a warp rift to open and suck in an entire planet or in the v2.0 mod, entire subsectors. After the first detonation, the Emperor was so shocked, he sent Bangum to the Imperial Spankatorium to be disciplined, however, he realised that he could not destroy the bombs as that would effectively detonate them, nor could he dismantle them as the only one who knew how to do so safely was Blastius, and he was being chastised. So he hid them on several backwater planets scatered throughout ultima segmentum. These bombs are never to be discovered, or else a catastrophic war would occur over their ownership with the winner subsequently destroying the whole galaxy, causing, in leyman's terms, a big sucky death thing, ANY suspected locations are to be thoroughly searched by order of =][=

=][= File ends =][=
=][= Commence lollipop dispensement programme Alpha =][=

Round 4, This time relating to the of the campaign

The squad moved in a line through the cover, capes and silly tassles catching in the breeze, They were too slender and graceful for humans, and they were also too effeminate. They of course were Eldar, the ancient race whose downfall is a long and depressing story, kinda like Titanic but with less cruise liners and more trans-galactic empires. Their leader raised a hand, the signal to pause, unfortunatley, the command was somewhat sudden and the entire line rear-ended him.
"what are we stopping for?" whispered one of the Eldar, "enemies?"
"no" replied the leader "I just wanted you guys to tell me if this armour makes my arse look big?"
the squad groaned, this wasn't the first time their leader had gotten fashion conscious in the middle of a stelath mission.
"who bloody cares? turn around you idiot so we can keep going!"
The leader was disgruntled, he just wanted to know how he looked and what did he get in return? Abuse and insults! He didn't need them anyway, he knew he looked fabulous, he wore skin tight body armour that he was certain was in fashion, and a long plumed crest rose from the nape of his neck to stand a foot tall over his head, the others mocked him about it but his mum told him it looked handsome... But he tore his mind away from the pains of fashion and focused on getting his line back in order, they did have the goal, of course, get that bloody bomb of the planet, the Eldar were the only race mature enough to deal with it properly. He was so involved with his day dreaming he barely noticed the first crack pierce the air, followed by a thud as one of the line fell, a sniper bolt having just pierced his eye. Instinctively, the squad dived for cover, digging themselves in and taking aim for the fight to come.
Balls, thought the leader this is gonna ruin my hair...

Now the fiction based off the battle report. Mostly to do with the fates of the =][= gang
AKA Round 5

Uber the Lexmechanic was confused, mostly because all he could see were 1's and 0's flashing in front of his mechanical eyes. They'd started doing that after the Eldar had kicked him in the head, he felt dazed and confused... he could hear, but not see, his Warrior-Priest companion Jon, clashing with the alien over control of the fusion core. He knew the states of the others. Vipus, the Inquisitor, was worm food, his brains scattered where the PDF seargant had stood on his head, the Assassin was dead from a bullet through the eye. The Sister Hospitaller Mary Rose (whom he'd taken a liking to...) had a wound that would trouble her for a while now, though she was otherwise fine. Tertius, the Crusader, had recieved horrific scars and would scare anyone who looked on his face. Sidomeus, the acolyte, lover of fire and burny things, was predicted to recover, despite the odds, he would learn from this experience. Luc, the penitent, achieved his goal of redemption in death, and Giggles, the beloved Cherubim had been downed, but his holy, chubby body was set for a full recovery... Uber was alarmed as he felt himself being dragged back, he heard the voice of Jon.
"Come on you bloody machine! We're out of here!"
Uber tried to reply but came out with a stifled "Syntax error..."
"The flamin' Eldar has been taken care of but we can't do much else, with everyone dead or unconscious"
Uber began his depression programme, he knew they had failed, they set out to kill the heretical PDF and the Xenos, and in the meantime claim the Fusion core, A weapons cache and a lampost (for no real reason) now with the cache and the post in the hands of the Eldar and the PDF respectively, and the fusion core unclaimed, it was an epic fail for the Inquisition.
To cheer himself up, he booted up his inbuilt internet explorer and decided to visit icanhascheezburger.com

This is the last installment of this thread relating to the aftermath of the campaign and what happened to all the factions:
PDF renegades PDF Eldar =][= and Scouts
Round 6
Sarge paced up and down the spaceport hangar, he felt miffed, cheated by the Ultrasmurf scum who had cheated him out of his glory, they took the bomb right out of his hands he was so close, he could smell the inside of the spaceship, but now he and his renegades were doomed to be persecuted forever on a world that didn't understand them, after all, they just wanted to be loved... The sound of guns from outside the spaceport brought him out of his sorrow, they were of course pinned down by bloody PDF, with their big guns and proud ways, Sarge hated them. He hated the Eldar, they had run away in short order, he hated the PDF, for obvious reasons, he hated the =][= who were mostly dead. And he absolutely hated the BLOODY SCOUTS! But he had a plan, he turned to the whizzing machine next to him, and the confused ganer trying to work it.
"How's it doing Patch?" he asked
"Well sarge, it should be ready to go in five minutes" replied the one called Patch
"Five minutes? How do we know they won't be out of range by then?"
"Oh they won't be, this thing has an incredible range, we could send 'em to hell if they were in the Eastern Fringe"
Sarge didnt have time for a witty, morale-boosting response, as the wall blew open in a spray of rockcrete. A hooded face appeared above the breach, "They've broken through!" the owner of the face yelled.
"Get over here if you can!" yelled Sarge and a handful of men appeared, just as PDF troopers started pouring through the gap. The following battle was frantic, las bolts flying as the two groups exchanged fire, Sarge knew his men were better, but there were so bloody many of them... he watched as one by one his group were wittled down, five minutes passed...
"Detonation controls primed Sarge!" gasped a dying Patch, his left arm a bloody pulp. Sarge ran to the machine, he hammered on a large red button.
"If we die here, we're taken those smurfs with us" he said, he turned and saluted his enemy, before charging, alone, for the last time...

In orbit the Space Marine Scouts were celebrating upon the ship, the Goliath bomb safely tucked away in the hold, however, the Techpriest on duty noticed a red light on the status display, and a detonation countdown of 3 seconds
2...
1...
0...
All the Techpriest managed to say was "Oh sh-"