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I said cop, not cock. Kepe that in mind. In response to this thread,
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/238385.page#700073
I feel dakka needs more of these types of jokes.

How'd the officer know I'm getting stronger?
T.vs are heavier.

That's all I've got for now.

Its not a cop joke but its close, heard it a while ago but its good

My uncle is with the FBI...


They caught him in Cleveland.

The FBI, CIA, and LAPD have a bet to see who's better. The bet is, whoever cancatch a rabbitin the forest wins.

CIA asks around forest, gets no answers, and burns down the forest.

FBI conduc investigation, conclude there never was a rabbit, and leave.

LAPD go into forest, walk out five minutes later beating a deer. The deer screams

"OKAY, OKAY, I'M A RABBIT!"

A cop stops a drunk guy at about dawn.
The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"
"If I could," the drunk guy says, "I'd be home by now!"

I love cops btw.

There great, like gum on your new shoes haha

Cops love me.

In the back of a cruiser.

Nice set up

BloodInTheSand wrote:Nice set up

I know, right?

I'm gonna stay waaay away from this one. The cops in my neighborhood have no sense of humor. I don't want by some Rube Goldberg-like chain of coincidences anything said on Dakka to get back to them.

A cop pulls over an Irish Priest for drunk driving, as he walks up he sees an empty wine bottle rolling around on the floor of the car. He asks the father "have you been drinking today"
"only water' he replies
"well why do I smell wine on your breath"
at this point the father looks at the bottle and exclaims
"Good Lord he's done it again"

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Americans are really fond of boasting about their efficient and timely police officers arriving at the scene of a crime. That's nothing. Back in the PI, our cops are already at the scene of the crime.

Worst cop joke of all time, Y/N?

"Sir, your eyes seemed to be bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
"Your eyesh sheem to be glazed, offisher. Have you been eating donuts?'

Ghost, someone already told your last joke. In the Third post.

What'd the cop say to me when he pulled me over?


"FREEZE PUNK!"