Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

So, here we be, up in Dallas. I'm ready to represent my invented-during-online-registration gaming club, the Fabulous Unicorn Lords. Ready to get the weekend started right with... painting? My roommate is in a desperate state- just hoping to get 3 colors on his high Elves. I'm finishing off 5 hammerers, so I don't have to suffer the indignity of ironbreakers in the back rank of my hammerers. What a travesty.

In the long-standing tradition of my only other GT appearance (last year's Capital City Carnage), I thought I'd take a moment, pre-tournament burn-out to lay out some goals...

1) Good attitude through 5 games. Managed this last year, even in the face of a brutal hammering from Lady Luck in game 3. I feel this isn't a big problem for me any more (perhaps in my younger days), but I want to be sure I don't get down if I lose. If I'm not having fun, what was the point. Priority #1.

2) Come away with a winning record (or at least .500 on the outing). I've got a pretty good win record, but I'll be seeing lists built to win, by players who know how to use them. Last year at CCC I picked up 3 wins to 2 losses, but the wins were by razor thin margins.

3) This one's a long shot, but I'll be gunning for top Dwarf general. Mr. Aaron Chapman is in attendance, and he's brought Dwarfs. I think his list is stronger, and he's got more experience on the big stage, so I expect this one is his to lose. Nevertheless, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a goal I was shooting for. On the plus side, there's a total of 5 dwarf players (according to the last update on Lonewolf's website), so hopefully 2nd is doable!

4) Can't say that I'm realistically shooting for overall top 10, so I'll put top 20. I'll take a hit on painting, since I'm still sporting some models I painted about 12 years ago. On top of that, some of my cool conversions (AAA bolt thrower and Dwarf Lord) aren't seeing the field for this tourney, so I'll be losing "cool points" there.

5) Take pics! I'd like to write this up properly- so at least 3-4 pics per game. I have a tendency to take pictures of every player turn through turn 2 and then getting too caught up in the game. I should at least be able to get one any time my opponent is in his movement phase.


So there they are, updates probably won't hit till after the weekend is over, but watch this space!

Good luck out there man! Here's to more gripping tales of victory than gripping tales of defeat

- Salvage

Good luck Zeke...drink Bugman's Brew for strength...

Good Luck Zeke!
go the stunties

Quick update, now that day 1 is down. Apparently, I didn't pack my USB cord for the camera, so no early reports, unfortunately. I'll keep the results a secret for the purposes of amazingly suspenseful battle reports later, but I definitely had 3 awesome games. The last one had a pretty big stack of empty beer bottles by the end, but from what I can recall, I took enough pictures to get an actual report. I may have to just make up the details, but no one will be the wiser.

So objectives 1 and 5 are on track thus far. More to come on objectives 2-4.

Haha zeke I was there too!!!

Which army were you, I saw the dwarf armies... Dont you run combat heavy dwarves?

I was the daemon player that took 2nd best sportsman

You going to CCC?

The weekend was a blast, hope you met your goals!

Need reports

Hope you accomplished all these goals, RZ!

Well, let's get things started!

Edit: Suppose I'll add the list in for completeness-

Runelord, Shield, Rune of Stone, Spelleater, Spellbreaker, Master Rune of Balance, Jedi mind trick to avoid being attacked
Thane, BSB, 1+ re-rollable save, immune to killing blow, poison, 2+ ward vs. flaming, flaming hammer, most of a kitchen sink
35 Warriors, standard, musician, shields, inferiority complex
30 Warriors, full command, great weapons, snazzy modular movement tray
10 Ranger quarrelers, musician, foam darts
10 Warriors, shields, musician, unacknowledged death wish
20 Hammerers, full command, 5+ ward vs. shooting bubble, willingness to fight to the last dwarf
20 Hammerers, full command, willingness to let the other unit fight to the last dwarf
Grudgethrower, rune of accuracy, 2 x rune of penetrating, engineer, 20" rims
Cannon, rune of forging, rune of burning, engineer, high expectations
Organ gun, bad reputation
Gyro, Sky Mall catalog


We strolled in to the hall with just a little time to spare, my roommate having valiantly attempted to paint about 700 points of White Lions through the night. A quick glance at the matchups, and I saw I was facing Jonathan's Daemons of Chaos. They looked a little something like this...

Bloodthirster of Khorne- Armor of Khorne, Immortal Fury, Firestorm Blade, Axe of Khorne, Fond memories of 7th edition
Herald of Nurgle- BSB, Palanquin, Banner of Unholy Victory, Slime Trail, deodorant
Herald of Khorne- Juggernaut, Obsidian Armor, Disdain for Look Out Sir saves
Herald of Tzeentch- Winged Horror, Master of Sorcery [LIFE], secret liberal impulses
26 Bloodletters, full command, surprisingly nuanced world-view
21 Plaguebearers, full command, standard of seeping decay, cart load of breath mints
7 Flesh Hounds, Beggin' Strips
7 Flesh Hounds, Actual bacon
6 Flamers, crate of dice for their shooting phase

This was actually only my second matchup against Daemons in 8th, but as draws go, it was pretty good. I figured on shooting down the thirster, and if there were shots to spare, knocking the herald out of the bloodletters too. I'd try to deploy to make the plaguebearers walk a long way, combo up the bloodletters and then see where to go from there. Rangers, gyro, and screening warriors divert as needed.

Our scenario was The Lone Ranger- your most expensive per-model unit could give up one member to become The Lone Ranger, with a good statline and a repeater pistol. The Daemons gave a flamer, I gave... a ranger. That had to be a good sign, right? Victory to the side that causes the most wounds with their ranger and does not lose him (or it).

So how did that deployment plan work out?


Anyone know what I was thinking with the great weapon warriors? I sure don't.

Deployment went pretty well, though I realized halfway through that I didn't know how we were playing the pond. It ended up being impassible, which stumped me a bit.

With fewer drops, Jonathan had first turn, and we were off:

Turn One

Daemons trot forward amiably, and the Bloodthirster lands behind a tomb to hide. Winds blow a mighty 2 dice. Which puts me at 4 to his 1. I somehow find a way to contain the magic phase for now.

In my turn, some minor moves start, including some lightning quick swift reforming and masterful maneuvering that might get my great weapon warriors back into the game by Turn 10 or so. The rangers gently caress the flesh hounds on their flank with some foam tipped darts. On to war machines! With no Bloodthirster visible, the bloodletters draw duty as targets of choice. The cannon pegs the jugger right in the noggin' but a one to wound halts me in mid celebration. I decide that next time I'll wait till the thing is dead before I jump on the table and start with the crotch-chopping. A grudgethrower shot sails far, far away from anything of note. The organ gun *does* kill 3, which makes the turn not quite a total write-off.

Turn Two

The daemons make the main push to the middle, though the floundering great weapons on my left keep one unit of hounds back. The Bloodthirster does decide to make his presence known, though. Magic really picks this turn and blows a mighty 3 dice. I took a break from declaring myself the lord-king of anti-magic to snap this picture:


Crunch time approacheth.

Flamers burn half my screening unit to death, which is fine, since they're about to get another suicide mission.

This brings it over to my turn. I push the screen forward, and hop the gyro up as well. On the left, the great weapons can't get past the rangers because of the 1" rule. I'm convinced the hounds will charge the ranger anyway, so I decide to slow what is already an incredibly drawn out reinforcing maneuver. The cannon opens fire, blasts the bloodthirster, but we realize we somehow forgot the ward save (i.e. I pretended it didn't exist) and one 5+ later, I'm climbing back off the table. The grudgethrower *does* put a stone straight through his head, dropping him, but at this point, my quads are burning pretty good, so I just hand the model over.

The organ gun and gyro combine to kill another three bloodletters, which still makes them look pretty scary. The rangers continue to embarrass themselves.


Somebody has somebody right where they want them. I hope it's me.

Turn 3

The bloodletters charge into the screen warriors, allowing the hounds to charge the gyro, who flees over the hammerers. Away from the BSB, and with a dead general, the hounds fail to redirect. Magic blows a little stronger this time. My strategy of letting Throne through backfires when Regrowth goes off irresistibly, and restores the bloodletters to full strength. The miscast is ignored. Ooops.

The flamers also draw a bead on my lone ranger, who gets away with one wound left thanks to look out sirs and his natural ward.

The overrun after wiping out my screen takes his bloodletters right into my big shield block. Time to close my carefully laid trap! And hope this isn't one of those Wile E. Coyote things...

So I send both blocks of hammerers in, one in the flank and one in the front. The gyro rallies, turns, and makes sure the hounds can't assist the main combat. On the left, I also give up on the rangers, sliding them out of the way so the great weapons can advance.

The organ gun misfires at the fleshhounds, and will miss next turn. The cannon and grudgethrower both also fire to no effect.

In the crucial combat, I ponder for a while, then challenge with my BSB to keep his herald from racking up combat resolution. I figure I can hold out for a few turns, and if the combat lasts longer than that, I'm in trouble anyway. Taking none in the challenge, I even cause a wound back. Looking good! The rest of the combat is decidedly more sedate, with pleasantries exchanged and not a whole lot of damage on either side. I win by 7 or 8, but a low break test leaves the bloodletters at a healthy two full ranks.

Turn 4

Daemons go after the gyro again, who has to hold to prevent a redirect. The plaguebearers need a 12" charge to get involved, and they make it, though only the herald will be able to fight. The other hounds back up, daring me to try to march past them. Magic gives me a dice advantage, which, having learned my lesson, I use to make sure throne doesn't go up. I plan to spelleat flesh to stone when it comes, but it goes irresistible on 3 dice (with a negligible miscast). So the bloodletters go to T5. Time to stop ordering my traps from Acme, I guess.


My lone ranger isn't sure how to get out of the way when this all goes bad.


This is what it looks like when 20% of your army sets up to just pick their noses most of the game.

I take heavy damage to the frontally engaged hammerers (especially with help from the palanquin and herald combo!) and don't do a whole bunch in return, though I continue to persevere in the challenge. Steadfast checks with re-rolls all 'round come up good. Meanwhile, the gyro escapes with a wound, and the hounds let him go, reforming to face the main event.

In my turn 4, I start sending the great weapons around the pond, but keep the harassing flesh hounds to the front to make sure I don't get charged. I don't think they can break my GWs, but they can certainly pin me, which is looking like it would be almost as bad. The only shooting of note is a wound finally inflicted on the annoyance hounds, and one hound getting cannoned off near the main combat. Fighting goes poorly. though my BSB continues unscathed. The frontline hammerers are crippled though the shield warriors do a great job absorbing damage with parries and armor. In return though? Only 2 'letters removed. Balls. I do retain the presence of mind to reform the flanking hammerers to face the approaching hounds.


Still waiting on those reinforcements, boys...

Turn 5

The fleshhounds towards the middle join the fray, while their buddies continue to mill around and smell each other's rears. Flamers sweep around to try to burn up my organ gun to no avail. Magic is stomped on since I still have two scrolls and it's this close to the end.

The combat finally has the 'letters back to toughness 3, so damage is dealt in return, though not a ton. The nurgle block fights clear of combat, and the charging fleshhounds get pretty frisky and kill 8 hammerers with 12 attacks for negligible return damage.

In my turn, the gyro sallies forth once more to block the flesh hounds from charging my greatweapons, who finally commit with a chance of getting in the game in the last turn. My organ gun blasts his Lone Ranger to death, grabbing 4 objective points. In combat, the last of the front line hammerers goes down, and the fleshhounds and hammerers grind eachother pretty hard. The bloodletters are down to 3, but the challenge takes a crucial turn. The herald gets a wound through my armor, and I get one through his, though he wards it, staying alive. The juggernaut closes things out though, goring my BSB (and most of my hope) to death. The shield warriors pass their check, but I don't know if they can hang out for two more turns. Thankfully, they've taken enough casualties that the plaguebearers can't see the back of their unit to declare a fresh charge.

Turn 6

The gyro is destroyed by flesh hounds, and the flamers move to block my great weapons from the main combat. Magic comes up empty, which leaves combat. The flesh hounds don't slow down and tear up the last of my hammerers. My shield warriors kill one more bloodletter and pass their steadfast check. Two letters left.

Entering my final turn, what looked like a comfortable position about mid-game is now needing something big to turn around. Despite severe damage to the bloodletters, they haven't given up any victory points, and I've yet to get anything other than the Thirster. The great weapons finally charge, weathering a heavy stand and shoot. My lone ranger springs into action, and guns down the Tzeentch herald. Better late than never! Speaking of which- the great weapon warriors blow straight through the flamers, causing an impressive 7 unsaved wounds, getting the rest through crumble.

In combat, I can throw 8 attacks at blood letters. 4 hit, 2 wound, requiring 2 ward saves. He fails both, and the herald passes his crumble to finish the game.


Result: After picking up 737 victory points in the bottom of the 6th turn, I walk away with an 18-4 victory. Just like I planned it...

(Scoring worked as follows: 100 VPs for the win, 500 VPs for a big win. Big win was worth 16, small win was worth 14, objectives worth 4.)

Got away with one here. I liked the matchup and so got lazy in deployment, and came within a hair of not recovering at all. I might have been OK, but got caught out a bit by magic. Massive last turn swing for the win!

Good report!

Thanks Shivan. Sorry I didn't catch you up there. I also forgot to go find Orkimedes, who was at Lonewolf with Skaven. I'll definitely be at Cap City.

Congrats on 2nd sports! What was your list?

GUO Lvl 4 noxious vapors, pestilant mucous

Herald of tzeentch on disk, spellbreaker, loremaster shadow

Herald of khorne, obsidian armor

Herald of nurgle, bsb, great banner of sundering, noxious vapors, stream of bile

30 letters, command d6 charge banner

25 plaguebearers, command, reroll wounds banner

4 flamers

4 flamers

3 screamers

3 screamers

I was trying to avoid bad game votes and comp hits and all that, in retrospect, compared to the venue, I think my list was to soft. It was my first GT and all, now I know.

Of yeah, and skaven can go to hell and back.

Probly going to bring my lizards to CCC, no slann combat list, or depending on how im feeling I could bring skaven.... but everyone plays skaven soooo.

Great bat rep Zeke!
congrats on the win (still not entirely sure how you managed it )
honestly though, well played, you managed to make up for a bit of an (erm) unlucky deployment
cant wait to see how the rest of the tournament went!

Red_Zeke wrote:I decide that next time I'll wait till the thing is dead before I jump on the table and start with the crotch-chopping.

Nice win RZ, and great report, funny funny stuff - I may have laughed out loud, startling some of the degenerate minions scuttling about my dreadnoughtarium

One thing, it looks like your pics are getting a little downsized when they're hosted then reposted on Dakka, which makes the font a little blurry and hard-ish to read. Could be fixed by resizing them slightly before putting deliciously hilarious text in, or hosting somewhere else or something. Dunno, maybe it's just me

- Salvage

You know, ive completely taken the sheer hilarity in all your reports for granted...Red_Zeke, will you ever forgive me?

Great report man! I damn near got in trouble with my wife, nearly laughing out loud reading this while I was supposed to be commiserating with her on the phone... Great stuff!

Keeping things rolling as long as I can...

Game 2

For this one, I drew Tobin's VC. To be perfectly honest, I don't have nearly enough practice against VC, so had only theoried out some ideas. His list wasn't exactly the Drakenhoff star either.

Vampire Lord: Charmed Shield, Level 4 [Undead Horde, Van Hel's, Curse of Years, Winds of Undeath], Helm of Commandment, Crown of the Damned, Master of the Black Arts, Summon Ghouls, jaunty chapeau
Vampire: BSB, [Raise Dead] Staff of Damnation, Master of the Black Arts, bad toupé
Vampire: Hellsteed, [Raise Dead] Crimson Gem of Lahmia, Wristbands of Black Gold, Dread Knight, Stockholm syndrome
24 Ghouls, Ghast, Halloween costumes
24 Ghouls, Ghast, Halloween candy
18 Ghouls, Ghast, Easter candy, confusion
Corpse Cart, sandwiches of questionable quality
20 Zombies, Musician, a brand new funk
38 Grave Guard, Great weapons, full command, Banner of the Barrows, lots of frequent flier miles
Varghulf, very complicated back story
Varghulf, degenerative clone disease

Our scenario was 6 flags over Texas. Each flag could be given to anyone but a character, and gave additional combat resolution as well as several one use abilities. Most were modest, but one restored D3x100 points worth of models to a given unit. I put this on a unit of hammerers, and unsurprisingly, Tobin loaded his Grave guard with them.

Double Master of the Black Arts was going to be really hard to contain. I wasn't really sure how I'd win this unless war machines went crazy. The graveguard would chop through anything and were going to grow back with magic *and* the special banner.

As you'll probably notice, I'm on the exact same table (33, which I assume meant that we weren't being assigned tables based on place just yet). I ended up on the same edge, and, at the very least, didn't make a total mess of things in deployment. I did leave the backfield more open than I needed to, which left me vulnerable to that flying vamp. I also put rangers deep in his deployment zone, planning to steal the flag off his zombies, then threaten his bunker later. I was done first, but in an ominous sign, Tobin won first turn anyways.



When your strategy was starting to look like, "Hope to go first and get lucky with shooting," you might be in trouble."

Turn 1

The vampires advanced, ignoring the rangers, and looking to put pressure on immediately. Both Varghulfs would have a potential long charge next turn into my rightmost hammerers. I don't remember, but I may have actually burned a spelleater on Van Hel's this turn. It didn't eat the spell.

In my turn, the gyro hopped up behind impassible to be able to locate wherever needed next turn. The rest of the army shuffled slightly to try to protect war machines, and it was on to shooting. A cannon popped the head off a Varghulf, and a good direct hit on the grave guard killed 12-ish. The organ gun pitched in for a couple more.



I try not to stop believin'. Somehow, streetlights get involved.

Turn 2

The Varghulf makes a 16" charge with plenty to spare in to the front of my hammerers. The flying vamp lands out wide with a charge set up on my machines in the backfield. The rest of the army pushes forward. Van Hel's is pushed through and the graveguard are now right in my face. In combat, the last Varghulf eats 6 or 7 hammerers but is handily pasted in return.

When my turn comes around, I've got a decision to make. There's not enough room left to push a redirector in the way of the graveguard. After some pondering, I send the gyro into the flank of the Vamp Lord's bunker and then warriors, and hammerers into the front of the graveguard, with a second block of hammerers in the flank. They're down to about 26, so maybe I can land a crippling blow...

The artillery swivels to take out the flying vamp. The cannon skips short, and the organ gun blows itself up. The grudgethrower misfires as well. Combat is pretty close to disastrous. A few graveguard are killed at initiative, leaving 26 swinging back. Needing 3s and 2s, they kill a horrifying 22 dwarfs. I kill 17 back, but with that kind of damage, I only win by one, which is suppressed by the BSB. Elsewhere, the gyro survives and even causes a wound to the unprotected vampire BSB, but breaks and flees.

Turn 3

Tobin piles it on, sending ghouls into the flank of hammerers, and marching the other ghouls into the face of my great weapon block to prevent them from getting involved. We both pop our healing banners- I gain 8 hammerers, and he gains the same number of graveguard. Magic gets Van Hel's off on the graveguard after one dicing some Nehek to bump the graveguard's numbers back up. I also shut down a boost from the corpse cart along the way.

Combat is still bad news, though I get some more damage through, it doesn't look like it'll be enough. The hammerers dwindle, and the shield warriors are just not made for this kind of combat.

In my turn, I resignedly charge into the ghouls with my great weapons. Here’s what things look like (right before I rally the gyro and charge with rangers).



Grim situation is grim.

Combat is, in my professional opinion, “bad news”. Hammerers on the frontline are have a brief reprieve and hang on with four left, while those on the right hold on a little longer. Shield warriors have a final turn of steadfastiness to enjoy.

The rangers chop zombies for no losses, leaving a meager 5 to carry on the fight. The great weapons do good work, but probably not enough. I reform to maximize attacks, and hope for something awesome.

Turn 4-5

(Note: Seem to have lost a turn in here somewhere. My next picture is taken at the bottom of 5, but I don’t remember exactly what the sequence was to get there.)

Tobin mercilessly twists the knife. What a jerk. The flying vamp cleans up the last of the war machines by the bottom of 5. Just to be on the safe side, tries to fire off a summon undead horde. It goes off on a 17. I try to stop it on 6 dice, but roll a big, fat, 10 (including my +2). 3D6 come up for 16 wounds raised, putting 9 back on the wounded ghouls and the grave guard. One more nail in the coffin.

Tobin also catches me out by burning a wound off the flying vamp to get an extra dice, and power through the staff of damnation. I didn’t realize this dice went to the pool, but after some looking, it seemed like it probably did. More dwarfs die as a result.

I try to keep the pressure somewhere, which turns out to be on his ghoul bunker, actually reducing them to 2 ghouls, the BSB, and the Vampire Lord (narrowly missing a chance to finish off the BSB when he fails a look out sir).

The combat phases hold no miracles. The graveguard finish off the hammerers and remove steadfast from the shield warriors, who need snake eyes and book it, losing the BSB in the process.

My great weapons manage to chop the ghouls down to 2 after crumble, but they only need one to keep me there and come back next turn, while the graveguard turn for the Van Hel’s charge into my flank.



I’m even running out of ways to cheat for the win at this point.

Turn 6

Sure enough, grave guard head into my flank and break my great weapons. For what it’s worth, I escape across the oasis.

In my turn, one last ditch shot at glory falls short. The rangers make a charge into the two ghouls and vampires, but he kills 6 before I even swing, and the hope of bailing this out of massacre territory dies. In revenge, the gyro charges the rear of the corpse cart and collapses the thing.

Result: 4-20 loss.

Not a good matchup to start with, and one I haven’t practiced. Things got worse when I missed the first turn, and in the bottom of the second, I took an all-in gamble on sending everyone in which didn’t pay off. I managed the magic phases like a bit of a fool- trying for an early spelleater. Admittedly, knocking out Van Hel’s early would have really helped.

In retrospect, perhaps I could have gone with trying to get a hammerer conga line into his graveguard and keeping them there with the healing flag while trying to clean up the rest..

For what it’s worth, I always take a bit of heart when losing in a tournament, because (theoretically) the next round ought to be a bit easier.

Tobin was a gentleman throughout, bought me a drink afterwards to boot. I’d love to play him again and try to give a better showing. A good sign that the game is going against you is when a killing blow strike hits your BSB, and your opponent is relieved when it turns out you’re immune to such things.


@Boss: Thanks for the notes- I'll see about some better hosting solutions or resizing (the latter of which is currently beyond my technological know-how). In the meantime (from Game 3 onwards), I'll try to bump up the font size to ensure legibility. BTW- as I'm sure you realize, that crotch chop was a nod to you.

@Rev: Just thanks for reading and commenting. It really is appreciated.

On further review, I *did* figure out what happened with deployment in Game 1. I deployed all my blocks, and then without paying attention, dropped the Organ Gun right in the way of the great weapons. A bad move, but at least I know what happened now. I was honestly bewildered when I looked at the picture.

Nice reports zeke, good to see the dwarfs holding thier own. can't wait to see the end results... Let's get a game in before CCC

Another great report sir!

I played him in round four, his list worried me quite a bit tbh....

Then his general got sucked into the warp on turn two...

excellent reports! Look forward to the rest.

YES! I have something worthwhile to read now that I've finished a novel

Wow... I now know to be unreasonably terrified of grave guard from here on out. Good read though! Looking forward to more midget goodness!

Wehrkind wrote:Wow... I now know to be unreasonably terrified of grave guard from here on out. Good read though! Looking forward to more midget goodness!

Fixed that for you!

Kiwidru wrote:Nice reports zeke, good to see the dwarfs holding thier own. can't wait to see the end results... Let's get a game in before CCC

Definitely! I have a couple other armies that will be moving up from the back burner after Cap City that I'd love to try out as well.

ShivanAngel wrote:Another great report sir!

I played him in round four, his list worried me quite a bit tbh....

Then his general got sucked into the warp on turn two...

I heard about that game! Didn't know it was against you. Still, it's the risk you run with a Lord caster and no miscast protection.

RiTides wrote:YES! I have something worthwhile to read now that I've finished a novel

Finished reading a novel or finished writing one?



Anywhoo...


Game 3

With a bigg-ish win and a really big loss, I was sitting a little below the half way mark, which was ok by me. I was on track to mirror my Cap City performance at this rate. I drew Richard with his thoroughly unorthodox Warriors list:

Chaos Lord: Mark of Nurgle, Runesword, Favor of the Gods, 4+ Ward, Palaquin (!), Kindle e-reader for while he waits to get into combat
Exalted hero: BSB, Chaos Steed, Banner of Swiftness, No apparent familiarity with cannons
Sorceror: Level 2, [Burning Blades, Fireball], Dispel scroll, Chaos Steed, Balls the size of the BSB's
15 Warriors of Chaos, shield, full command, rapturous standard, mark of slaanesh, disquieting attraction to dwarfs
15 Warriors, shield, halberds, banner of rage, anger management routines
25 Marauders, mark of slaanesh, musician, standard, flails, manly-man base sizes
18 Marauders, mark of slaanesh, musician, standard, light armor, shields, carefully composed cheers designed to encourage sorcerer
6 Chaos ogres, great weapons, chaos armor, full head of steam
Chaos chariot, mark of slaanesh, sign directing cannons towards all the other targets in the army
Chaos chariot, mark of slaanesh, rude gestures
Chaos Spawn, happy to be here
Chaos Spawn, happy the other spawn is here
Darlene, the Hellcannon

A-gruh-wuh? So many units?! I was feeling pretty good- there weren’t any horrible matchups, though the Chaos Lord was going to be hitting hard enough that I couldn’t just neutralize him with my BSB in a challenge.

Our scenario was a Texas Two-Step, where a unit designated on each side would be a “dancing partner”. If dancing partners engaged eachother, the combat would rotate 180 degrees at the end of the turn. Bonus points for having units in “no-man’s land”.

I had fewer placements, but was able to fake a central deployment with the gyro and delaying screen, then throw everything hard right to make sure someone was taking a long walk. It worked pretty well, though the Ogres were the ones walking the farthest and could cover ground the fastest. Still, with aggressive moves in the middle, and some gyro aided delaying, I could hopefully already be rolling things up through the middle.

I should take a moment to note that the condolence alcohol from the previous round was having its effect, and Richard only encouraged this further. Thus, a little bit of liquid courage later, and the rangers dropped alarmingly close to the hell cannon. I vaguely remember thinking I could get it to charge and overrun off the table instead of dropping big, fat templates on my army.


Rangers want to know what I was drinking. The answer was Shiner, and lots of it.

For the second game running, I surrendered first turn despite having the plus one. Ah well…

Turn One

Chaos do their thing and advance at me. An overwhelming dice advantage keeps any fireballs from streaking after the gyro. Darlene doesn’t take the ranger bait (a great relief to them) and misfires at my hammerers (a great relief to me), eating one of its chaos dwarf crew (a small relief to Darlene’s appetite).

In my turn, I start swinging my right forward to be ready to counter punch and roll things up. The gyro positions forward to bait foolish long charges or to reach anywhere I might need next turn.

As an aside: I should say that Drunk Me didn’t leave Sober Me a whole bunch of notes. I’ll take it up with him when next we meet.

I do know that the cannon smoked his BSB, and the grudgethrower cracked 5 halberd warriors apart. The organ gun misfired, but would be hanging out next turn. Which reminds me- I’d managed to try to wedge it in front of the great weapon block again, though not in so gruesome a manner as last time.


I reward Richard’s non cookie-cutter list with some friendly cannon sniping. Best sports, here I come!

Turn Two

Chaos continues the rush, and Darlene rampages forward, looking for dessert. And she’s a big girl, looks like she could put away some pie. Or rangers.

I effectively close out the magic phase by spell eating fireball.

In return, I send the gyro off to pull the Ogres away for another turn until I have the middle under control. The organ gun strips a spectacular four wounds off Darlene, and kills a Chaos Dwarf to boot. Rangers finish the job! Freed of any responsibility to drop the hell cannon, my cannon relaxes with a double misfire. The grudgethrower crew kills two ogres with one rock. Nice!


I really don’t think I had a good plan with the warrior screen. Good think Drunk Me did.

Turn Three

Warriors head in for the charges. The chariot on the left tries to blow through the front of my warrior screen, but doesn’t make it. Halberds zip in to my shield warriors, and flail marauders… fail a charge? Or maybe marched up aggressively. Their supporting chariot rumbled along as well.

The ogres charge the gyro, and I kind of forget what I’m doing and flee the gyro off the board. They’re even close enough to redirect at the grudgethrower, but fail. Could have gotten ugly there.

Magic is a non-event, while the halberds chop up a surprisingly small handful of shield warriors for one loss in return after I make a couple games worth of armor and parry saves. Mighta oughta saved some of those for later…

In my turn, the cannon gets a chariot, and both hammerers get into the flail marauders, and roll them up handily, jetting over into the halberds, where they drop one, but the warriors hold on a shaky break check. I tried to get the great weapons involved, but found they wouldn’t be able to close the door thanks to the organ gun.

I also try to deploy a Wall of Shiner made of my stack of empties. This lasts until Richard asks me to show him the entry in the Army book, and my rampant prevarications are brought to light.


Learning from your mistakes is for suckers.

Still, this proves to enough. The other chariot gets my rangers, but takes a wound in return, and is cannoned off, keeping the backfield clear. The chaos lord gets involved in the central combat, but with more hammerers on the way, he’s broken and run down. Richard shakes my hand, and we call it a day.

Result: 20-4. We had a pretty raucous good time in this game, and I somehow had a bunch of bottles to carry to the trash at the end. I don’t remember making that many trips to the bar, but these things happen. It was also fun having my tournament travel buddy right next door, so I could rudely slur on at length about the latest amazing series of dice rolls on our table.

”And then I rolled a scatter, and he rolled a two, and then I rolled a six… etc, etc…

Good thing the next tournament’s local…

So end of the first day, 2-1. One win tomorrow equals my win record for my previous GT experience. Here’s hoping!

Nice work drunk Zeke! congrats on the win
loving the bat reps, and the little inserts still make me laugh (my dad thinks im going a bit mad laughing to myself)
good luck for the next game(s)

oohhh good ol shiner....

Must be why I thought my GUO could take a 15 inch charge from a steam tank in round three....

Short answer, he couldnt.... Long answer, my donkey-cave friend (who I played in round three), decided to roll 16 impact hits on 6d3...

Great report, looking forward to seeing how you do on the last two games!

Day 1, Game 3 tends to be my favorite GT game - at that point I've won one, gone up against too big of a fish and lost one, then, tired and getting drunk, I find myself up against somebody awesome who wants to fight

Anyway, another good 'un

- Salvage

Boss Salvage wrote:Day 1, Game 3 tends to be my favorite GT game - at that point I've won one, gone up against too big of a fish and lost one, then, tired and getting drunk, I find myself up against somebody awesome who wants to fight

Anyway, another good 'un

- Salvage

Thats why Alamo GT in our area is awesome... 2 dollar Shiners.... You are hammered halfway through game 2 (or one sometimes).

Great report man. That WoC list... I actually gave myself a little bit of a headache trying to sort out the trick there. I kept thinking "I have built similar units for my own lists, so there must be something going on there..." Great looking army, and I am guessing suffered from "Exactly what I want to see on the table, but not play" syndrome.

And trust me, my fear of Grave Guard will go way past what actually makes sense I was terrified of Necrons for a long time after playing Dawn of War against them, despite murdering them in a few games.

Grave guard are mean...

I hate anything with kb, as generals and what not love failing their ward save when that 6 pops up.

Sunday morning arrives and a scan of the matchups shows I’m still 6 battle points back from the top Dwarf. It’s definitely within striking range. I discover my matchup is… Bretonnians? Haven’t played these guys since the end of 6th edition. At least neither of our Army books have changed since then…

Erik was a familiar face, though we’d never met. He’d won 1st overall at last year’s Cap City Carnage without dropping a single battle point. I believe he took Lizards for that one. He openly admitted that he hadn’t been playing much 8th, and seemed to be a lot more interested in Warmachine/Hordes now.

Our scenario was one that allowed us to “Fire the Coach” ala Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys. You could return one model to the board if you first eliminated a unit of equal or greater points value. We both named our generals and would get the objective for killing the other coach.

His list was:

Bretonnian Lord [general], Warhorse, Morning Star of Fracasse, Armor of Destiny, Dawnstone, Sword that some watery tart threw at him
Bretonnian Lord, Warhorse, Heartwood Lance, Gromril Great Helm, Potion of Foolhardiness, Virtue of the Joust, Smelly cheeses
Paladin BSB, Warhorse, Wyrmlance, Enchanted Shield, Potion of Strength, Pair of coconuts
Damsel, warhorse, scroll, level 2, [Savage Beast, Wildform], Outrageous accent
Damsel, warhorse, level 1, silver mirror [Wildform], Plenty of body hair
Damsel, warhorse, level 1, Chalice of Malfleur [Wildform], Casually smoked cigarette hanging from lip
9 Knights of the Realm, Full command, Banner of Swiftness, sense of entitlement
10 Knights of the Realm, Full command, Standard of Discipline, violence inherent in the system
4 Pegasus Knights, Musician, Gallant, fully laden swallows
10 Bowmen, Braziers, Stakes, variety of muds
10 Bowmen, Braziers, Stakes, selection of filths
10 Bowmen, Braziers, Stakes, plethora of pungencies
Trebuchet, Large, rabbit shaped ammo
Trebuchet, Small, rabbit shaped ammo
9 Grail Knights, Banner of Eternal Flame, standard, musician, croissants

I spent some time counting units to figure out whether I would be done deploying first, until I realized the Brets would do that praying thing. Guess I’d gotten used to moving second this tournament.

I deployed towards the right, with a large woods to discourage cavalry on my right, and a big impassible tower on my left. To be safe, I also deployed in long lines until I was sure the Trebs were neutralized. One of them was left exposed and I was able to place my rangers aggressively to counter the threat. The peg knights tried to vanguard over to cover up, but they were going to be too far away. The brets had their lances on my left with a character and damsel in each.


It’s like fighting a rainbow. A lance-y, lance-y rainbow.

Given that nothing much has changed with deployment, I keep movement minimal. I intended to, but forgot to, move my shield warriors forward so they’d have room to swift reform next turn. The rangers marched at the bows on the right screening their trebuchet.

The grudgethrower opened with a shot that smashed the treb on the left. Huzzahs! After some consideration, I decided to risk letting one shot go from the other treb and fired the cannon into the central realm knights, killing two. In retrospect, the grail knights would have been a better target. They die just as easy and hit a lot harder. Honestly though, I was having a really hard time remembering which character was which and which unit was which. Brets all look the same to me!

In exchange, the Brets advanced at a gallop, though the Realm on the far left had a good trek to go and would have to avoid getting bound up by the building. The BSB and his damsel both zipped into the Grail knights, bulking out the unit considerably. He gets a wildform off on the grails to help in the shooting phase. Their surviving treb smashed the organ gun apart, but its bowmen were unable to wound the incoming rangers.


Turn Two

Confident the second treb is going down this turn (in went the rangers), I consolidated with some swift reforms, though the shield warriors didn’t have enough room to do what I needed. I also sent the gyro forward to delay the grail knights.

The grudgethrower killed a pair of grail knights, and the cannon, forced about 3 look out sirs, including one failed but was either warded or failed to wound on each model. The rangers lost two members to the peasants overpowering stench, but broke the unit, caught them, and overran into the trebuchet.

[PIC]
With time to realign my blocks, things are looking pretty good.

The grails sneak a wheel past my gyro. Gotta be a little more careful with positioning next turn. Thought I had that closed off. The Pegasus knights start to try to get around the back of my army, but fail a march block check (courtesy of the rangers) and so instead turn to face the dwarfs assailing their peasants. The realm without characters advance into the face of my army, close enough to be charged on the next turn. Not sure what the plan is there, but it is, indeed…


Next Turn

Hammerers on the left hit the flank of the knights of the realm and screen warriors head in the front. The gyro moves to block the straggling unit of realm (including the general). For shooting, I try to kill a Pegasus knight on the off chance of panicking them and saving the rangers, but the Blesing of the Lady is strong. I do manage to kill another grail knight and wound a damsel with flying shards of rock. Incredibly the gyro also shoots down 3 knights with a great steam gun blast.

In combat, the realm knights lose one, kill a warrior and have to leg it. I try to restrain the hammerers so they can turn and set up a favorable next combat if the grail try to get involved, but apparently, it’s party time and they gleefully pursue 3”. This proves insufficient to catch the 5 remaining knights of the realm, though my screen warriors are in hot pursuit.

What it does do is leave the hammerers with a flank facing the grail knights…

…who charge right in on the Bretonnian turn. Trying to get closer faster, the blocked knights swift reform to move past the gyro. The peg knights do the same to the rangers. Magic is uneventful as Erik is out-diced and can’t afford to risk strength 10 hits on his knights from a miscast. This is certainly a liability I hadn’t fully considered for damsels. Fine by me, though.

The rangers wound one Peg knight before they are run down, though at least the Pegs will need to push it to be back in time to get much of anything. The hammerers take predictably heavy casualties. For a moment, the Bret lord looks like he’s killed off too many at his initiative step and takes the other side of the Grail Lance formation out of contact, but I let Erik slide over since he didn’t realize this was going to happen/had been sloppy with his move in. WS 5 helps mitigate some of the damage, and in all, only 9 hammerers are killed (to one knight killed in return). I reform to try to get more swings next turn.

Turn Four

Screening warriors charge the freshly rallied realm knights to keep them occupied, and the greatweapons come charging in to help the hammerers… but fail the charge.

The gyro positions to block the general’s Realm again, and that’s about it. The gyro kills another knight of the realm with its steam gun, critically bringing the rank and file of that unit below the look out sir threshold, but the other artillery can’t capitalize, missing or failing to wound.

In combat, the grail knights are back down to strength 4, and my hammerers are reduced to 6 strong after a fistful of attacks. I threw 4 attacks at his BSB to no avail and didn’t knock any more knights down.

His tattered realm unit trades whiffs with my screening warriors, loses by one and flees across the pond (we played this as river rules). I fail to catch him, but pursue fairly close behind.

In his turn, the last 5 realm knights from the initial charge rally in front of their peasant bowmen, a little embarrassed. The pegs turn to try to make a sprint for my backfield. The hammerers continue to take a relatively light beating considering the number of attacks coming their way*. They are left on 3 models. The gyro also finally meets its doom, but the other lance is now depleted, and if it wants to get in combat before the end, isn’t going to get to be choosy.

*I should note that the Brets continued to fight from lance formation even when not on the charge. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I knew this to be wrong, but for some reason didn’t speak up.

Turn 5

The great weapons make their charge this time, and the screening warriors continue their rampage and catch up with the freshly rallied realm knights. I try again to take advantage of the general and damsel without look out sir saves in the delayed Realm knights, but fail again. Damn!

Combat is a hair short of decisive. I neutralize the lord with a challenge from my BSB, one hammerer and one warrior manage to down his BSB, and he’s testing on a 5, which he fails. I’m left with one hammerer, and a full warrior unit. I know the VPs have to be extremely close. I’ve done a lot of damage but haven’t actually wiped very much out, so decide to risk the last hammerer getting exposed and pursue with both, but he escapes with the unit, lord, and 2 damsels.

In his turn, the fleeing Grail knights rally pretty handily, but the fight has gone out of the Brettonians and they back off. All the peasants try to shoot down the last hammerer, but most are on 7s if he can be seen at all, and he survives again.

Turn 6

One more turn to try to break this thing open- the great weapon warriors charge the grail knights who flee a mile, and redirect into the realm who flee another mile. Now that everyone has lost their “prayer ward”, I try a couple shots to reduce units below 25% and kill characters, but achieve neither, possibly killing a knight.


Bloodied, bowed, and not quite broken, the Brets retreat.

His turn involves rallying everything, failing to shoot down the last hammerer, and charging the grudgethrower, but leaving 2 crew alive.

Game. A careful tally and re-tally of the points comes out 519-405 in favor of the Dwarfs. Avoided the draw!
Neither of us picked up the objective, so it was worth 14-6 on Battle Points.

It wasn't a bad game, but it also wasn't especially enjoyable. I don't think Erik was having a very good tournament. We got a lot of things wrong with the Bret book, too- I caught some of them and missed others. He seemed frustrated by the matchup and dice. I got to talk a little later in the day, and Erik seemed like a pretty great guy, so I'm not sure what was going on here.

I thought I'd played well, especially with the gyro, and would have been gutted to leave that game in the loss column (or even draw). I came close to doing so- two of the Bretonnian bowmen managed to hit the last hammerer on 7s, but failed to wound.

I should also apologize for the lack of pics on this one. Again, the less light-hearted nature of this game kind of made me feel a bit more self-conscious about pulling the camera out and slowing the game down.

On the up side, this pushed me up the table, and to my surprise, the lead Dwarf player had lost big, putting me ahead in the race to the top of our little pile by a massive 4 points!

Yeah go Zeke!
looks like you are tantalisingly close to achieveing at least one of your goals (shock horror )
great bat rep again, even though i dont like seeing my beloved Brets taken apart congrats on the win