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Hi there,
Some of you may have seen my ImpGuard army, I'm proud and totally happy with them.
However, I have a Space Marine army too, and, I don't know why, I think they aren't as beautiful as my guards.
Here is a sternguard I painted yesterday: (sorry I forgot the moulding lines...)
For the armor: I did a black primer, two thin layers of mephiston red /altdorf blue, a nuln oil wash.
Then fenris grey and evil sunz scarlett for the lightnings.
For the white parts: administratum grey, then several thin ceramite white layers, then agrax eartshade on the recesses.
Dark Angel green for the laurels, then a agrax eartshade wash, then warboss green for the lightnings.
They eyes: black primer, mephiston red but with a thin band of black still visible, evil sunz scarlett (still the black band), a thin band of fire dragon bright, a white dot in the thin black band and eventually a coat of 'ardcoat.

So, what do you think of the way I painted him ?

I think your problem is too many colours from different worlds. Red blue black white all taking about 25% of the model up. The eye cant focus on a single area or a whole just get drawn back and forward.

The highlights are a bit heavy handed