I like the one on the left more, but here's some suggestions...
I think you can do the shade a bit cleaner (focus on getting it in to the crevices and not letting it settle on the raised areas, make sure you manipulate the wash while wet, don't let the wash partially dry and then try to manipulate it because it'll leave smudgy tide marks).
You might also consider using a shade that doesn't have a matte finish, or finishing the model off with a satin varnish. The metallic red is naturally shiny and the matte wash is dulling it down but not consistently.
What spray did you use for the metallic red? If it isn't too opaque, you might be able to primer it white and shade it with a black gloss wash as a preshade, then spray the metallic red, it'll give it more depth.
EDIT: Also you probably shouldn't have your name and address in the background of a picture you're posting on the internet