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"I'm ethereal T'cha !. I'd like to comment on 6e. I could say something, but a gesture often says more. However, because I'm a cheap conversion with no arms, I've asked Bob to help me respond to the "Challenges" part of 6th edition hand-to-hand combat."










"Thanks, Bob."
"Sure thing, man."
...
"So, it's like a Clint Eastwood serape thing?"
"Something like that."
"Sorry, but it looks pretty crappy, your serape. Heh, heh."
"I read that Divination psychers get what should have been old Warp Time. Power Armor armies and space elves. Precog-something? And bummer, a fresh set of FAQs that *could* have fixed it for you, but did not."
"Don't push your luck, Mr. No Armor Save."




**
For the record, I'm pretty darned happy with 6e. Ethereal T'cha!'s editorial is his own.

I hope your Daemon Princes do an editorial on how awesome they are in 6th edition in a Chaos Daemons army! They should get Fateweaver on the show to discuss how helpful he is to them. I'm looking forward to it

infinite_array wrote:I can't comment either way on GW's FAQ policy... but could we get more Fred and Bob adventures?

+1

Turn this into a blog.

"Okay, so there's like two frakkin' - - Wait. As I Was. Sorry.
Hi. Bob here, with an episode of Quitting DPs. Sixth edition is barely out and I've been wading through the rules.
. . .
I'm just a little ticked-off about this. There are two, yes *TWO* danged powers in the Divination section that are pretty much what Warp Time used to be, and by the unholy gods, this is a section CSM are *not* entitled to. Seriously, WTF?"


"Instead, it's power armored bozos like these guys, who can now do, what by all rights, was *MY* thing to do."
"Oh, shove it, cry baby. 4e vanilla marines codex, page twenty six; Veil of Time was the same thing.
Check the silver lining and quit being so negative. I mean you got to enjoy Warp Time throughout 4e's end and through most of 5e. I mean, take a look at how crappy Eye of Tzeentch was in the 3e C:CSM. "
"How bad was it?"
"One hit, save or to wound roll."
. . .
"Now that you've got some perspective, scope out the Flying/jumping Monstrous rules. You'll have fun with your buddies Fred and Kairos I'm a third level Master."
"Dungeon Master" *snirk*
"Shut up, man, wrong game."
"Bob, you got some definite love 6e out of that. Completely new tactics, and off-hand, some bad-ass ones."
"Yeah, you pretty much turned into a Necron Command Barge. And don't complain to us about nerfs. While we got a massive load of psy-powers to choose from, our stupid hats are really just that now. Cosmonaut style head covers."
"Pff, psy-hood, more like psy-shell. I'm always hearing the ocean, so I think my com-link is off."
"lolwut?"
"Sorry, but this isn't funky old-assed librarians resurface for Quitting DPs time. It's about giving away what was CSM property - - "




"Giving away what and to whom? How is it that you're crying about *anything* psy-related when CSM have access to three sections, when WE eldar, the acknowledged foremost psychers in-the-game, are relegated to a mere two?"


"And how is it that farseers are a mere level one? Warlocks are a one, not a zero (always on Pfff! ) , farseers at least a two, make sense? Power Armor bias. Again. So, shut up. *Bob*."
"Besides, we're gonna love going all ... how'd you put it ? "Going all Matrix?"
"Feh. Yeah, daemon prince . "



"Bite me, man."
"We will. Witch-blades for teeth. With re-rolls to hit and wound. Only the ones that fail."
"FML."

"Fred here. Been pretty busy lately. I've commanded two victories into sixth edition, beating enemy Chaos Marines and some of Pedro Kantor's sissies today. And I wanted to give a shout out to some new buds. Do I got your names right? h'Ui, l'Ui and d'Ui? "


"Hello, It's d'Ui. du - ew - ee."
"Hi."
"Is this live or can I call my cadre mother? When's it gonna be on?"



"Silence. Shoot your guns, not your mouths. This is great. A little help from allies that can handle the hand to hand duties and we'll be seen on battle fields everywhere."



"That's be my guess. Railguns in pretty much every army except the pariahs, aka 'nids. A FireKnife HQ to boot? Yeah, you're gonna be busier than a 70s Time Square Street Walker."
"Is that a new kind of necron walker, with the Quantum Metal, Living Shield thing?"
. . .
. . .



"Well, just so everyone knows. We sport the best frakking gun in the game and yer gonna see us everywhere! Like Sheriff Woody said when he did that creepy head turning, Exorcist thing, EV EERRR EEEE WHHEERRRR!!! "


**
1. Those are FW b-sides, costing me an extra $10 or so. Worth it not to have to deal with the heavy metallic RG bits.
2. And yes, I did field 2 b-sides with my C:CSM list today. With a FK+ HQ. I even brought crackers and wine.

3. Yeah, the XV88s are Huey, Dewey and Louie, but not for Donald's nephews. For bonus points, who are the other H, D & L?

I see you've stepped up to some...

*puts on the sunglasses*

...Silent Running.

YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

"Bob here. A lot of the new Special Rules don't correspond to anything in the old codexes, not yet anyway. A lot of predictamancy is going on--"




"Divination."
"Huh?"
"Divination. Yer stealing the term 'Predictamancy' from that erfworld webcomic. Stick with 40k stuff."




"Right, man. So we're checking out a few of the Special Rules and near the top of the alphabet is 'bulky'. I'm wondering if new erratas and codexes might actually get us MCs into transports."
"Why 'bulky' though? How come not 'High Occupancy' or such? It's what departments of transportation use. Maybe 'bulky' is some kinda slight on our size?"
"Yeah, it's not very Politically Correct. Tch. Very bulky."
...

" 'Bulky' being your average 40k player."
"Heh. Very Bulky being the average 40ker players' g/f."
"Like the average 40ker has a girl friend."
"Heh. Extremely bulky being your average RPG player."
"Sngxxs !! Ouch. ... That's just mean."

Good to see em back

This is a bit dated. Figure May 2012. 'Course, when hasn't GW had wallet gouging price hikes?




"Hi, Bob, here. With the recent GW price hikes, we thought it would be a good idea to look into deeper storage for any models that could be still used in today's late 5th edition 40k. Instead of spending more cash, you know, for Finecast ... insert derogatory pun here, you know, fine crap, fail cast, et cetera."


"There was a lot to look through."


"After some digging, I unearthed these guys. I'd bet that Indiana Jones never came up with anything so ancient."


"Hey, that's funny. Who knew that a Nurgle daemon would be funny?"
"That's just it. He ain't funny."
"Maybe a Ttzeentch daemon could pull off something. Or George Carlin."
"Maybe Rowan Atkinson."
"He *is* a Tzeentch daemon."
"Benny Hill?"
"Slaanesh."
"Oh, right. Well, Atkinson, I think he *is* Tzeentch."
"Hello? I'm standing right here-"
"Which doesn't make you a stand up comic now does it?"
"Unholy gods, I can't catch a break."

"Something a bit off topic for the usual Quitting DPs episode. I mean we can't bitch and complain about GW or 40k all the time, right?"
"Wrong."
"Shut up, Fred."




"I was looking through the previous QDPs, and noticed something that Fred missed, concerning these clowns:"






"Now, Poppa Nurgle isn't a young buck, even by Slaneesh's measure, so a lot of us are older and have seen some ancient vids. Fred missed the significance on h'Ui, l'Ui and d'Ui.

Turns out, one failed its Dangerous Terrain roll, one was Tank Shocked by an ATV, and only the last one made it through to the end.

So, for the Broadsides, perhaps not the most auspicious names.

Nothing else funny to point out, just two out of three doomed robotic suits.
. . .
Heh, heh.
. . .
I'd slip in an E.T. joke but one botanist sci-fi reference is enough for the day."




Credit for the Silent Running observation actually goes to poster AmmishJohn. I added on the E.T. thing. Thanks, AJ.

We demand more! MORE!

These are so good!

"As one would expect, we're having a party to celebrate another Phil Kelly book."
"If anything, it might be the best laid out, most organized book from 40k. Evah.
a. bright colored page numbers, in the corner, not the middle of the page
b. fold out reference charts
c. page numbers on nearly every reference

Fookin' amazing."


"And that coming from a ADHD, Slanny daemon." ***
"Dick."



"Yeah, well, we called it. Here come the Daemon Princes crawling back. Except, guess what, bitches?"
"You ain't so cool anymore!"
"Overpriced, douche bags is more like it!"




"Yeah, the real damned injustice is that we actually have freakin' Morale Checks to make. Last codex a nerf on Toughness. NOW!?!? We lose Fearless? Oh, for Hell's sake! We're gonna end up like Swooping Hawks!"
"Huh? Swooping Hawks?"
"On the shelf, idiot!"


"What are you complaining about? MY CAPACITY STILL BLOWS. I HAVE ACCESS TO A DEFF-ROLLA KNOCK OFF, BUT **BIG** DEAL."


"Dude, I lost my whole identity --



"Alright. Alright. Sheesh. Let's let a few weeks pass before we get our knickers ** in a bind. Combos to be explored. Maybe Spawn shadowing a Lord onna bike. New models to break in. Mutie somethings."
"And Forehead fiends, or such ... as for the rest - Uptight buncha nerds, huh?"
"Yeah. At least the codex creep has stopped."
"Yeah, it did. ... But on our turn?"
" . . . damn. No punchline to that. "


***Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
** - a minor bit of props to our UK viewers, because nobody in the USA calls pants "knickers" .

They could always just run back to Chaos Daemons I suppose.

Well done, and I even got the chance to see the dynamic duo in person too

And now we face the realisation that Phil Kelly has done it again with a rather underwhelming codex... why PK? Why him? Why not Mat Ward?

 JbR of the Endless Spire wrote:
And now we face the realisation that Phil Kelly has done it again with a rather underwhelming codex... why PK? Why him? Why not Mat Ward?

Because Mat Ward is known to be the worst codex writer in recent times, churning out undercosted/overpowered codexes that break the game? When you compare a smart bomb to a nuke, the nuke looks like the "better" option, because it is certainly more powerful, until you realize that the nuke is not suited for all engagements. Bad analogy, I know, but I am hoping you see my point. Stop wishlisting for a Ward-esque facemelting codex.

Yea! Matt Ward is busy writing the Face Melting ELDAR Codex... bwahahahaha

Great stuff man. Just spent the last hour cruising through your thread and grinning all the way. Gotta keep productive in these hard economic times y'know, keep my nose to the grindstone and brush up on all the latest market trends with the newly released IPOs and Codex stocks.

Despite the general reception to the latest out of Dow Jones and the CSM 500 regarding sub-prime Warp securities and the lack of interest from secondary lean holders, I interpret the low asset creepage to be a good sign. My calculations on the new assets indicate excellent cutbacks and increased efficiency in many product lines which certainly deserved some attention.

I'd like to also extend a non-time sensitive offer for temporary employment to you both. I sense in the future some of my current.. ahem.. employees may be evacuating realspace with little notice, and I would like to retain your gribbly services on a no contract basis to stand in for these schmucks. Try to be aware and sensitive however that the other employees may be a bit perturbed seeing you in the office. See, I'm telling some of them that if they make the right moves (and rolls) they could receive a promotion.

I even gave them all raffle tickets and told them that every 65th and 66th ticket would be a winner.

But let's keep that a secret just between you and me, okay?

Pay of course is non-negotiable and I retain the right to not retain you at any time and without notice. I'm sure you understand that in such a heavily competitive market the offer remains generous even without a guarantee for longterm employment (whatsoever whether implied or explicit).

~Yours truly,
The 'Don
CEO - Black Legion & Affiliates, Inc.

Not sure if Dethklok bodyguard prerequisites...

/trololol

"Although I'm a daemon, you know, all about pain and harshness, I'm not looking forward to telling the old daemon crew we're going back to being CSM."
"Cool. I don't want to miss this. They're gonna be pissed off. And those Bloodletters have worse potty mouths than Plague Marines."
"Typical drama queen, you."
"Damn straight."
"I thought Slaneeshi were anything but straight, rainbow boy."
"Heh, I got no shame."
" ... except when you fail enough armor saves at a crucial junction during a battle and we lose the game?"
. . .




"I'm not so worried about the troops; It's the old boss that has me spooked. I never did get used to one head looking elsewhere while talking to the other. Kinda ... unsettling in a way that zealous inquisitor can't match."
"Kairos knew we were gonna go back, so he left early."
" ... like he's done in every battle."
"Yeah, 333 points of Kim Kardashian. Show up, look pretty. Get hit on by every body and then bail."

 FoxPhoenix135 wrote:

 JbR of the Endless Spire wrote:
And now we face the realisation that Phil Kelly has done it again with a rather underwhelming codex... why PK? Why him? Why not Mat Ward?

Because Mat Ward is known to be the worst codex writer in recent times, churning out undercosted/overpowered codexes that break the game? When you compare a smart bomb to a nuke, the nuke looks like the "better" option, because it is certainly more powerful, until you realize that the nuke is not suited for all engagements. Bad analogy, I know, but I am hoping you see my point. Stop wishlisting for a Ward-esque facemelting codex.

Yes because Ward created Space wolves (undercosted to a horrible degree) and 4th edition Eldar (Overpowered), and Imperial Guard (Undercosted). No his Space marine codex (Mid tier) and blood angels (Mid tier) are also overpowered.

At the very least Ward throws in some fluffy wargear options!

You must have missed the words "recent times".

 FoxPhoenix135 wrote:
You must have missed the words "recent times".

People have been complaining about Ward since he started writing, let alone recent times.

I'm only complaining about his recent atrocities. He may not have created codex creep on his own, but he surely didn't try to fix it any.

"No disrespect to Mr. Kelly, but we miss Lash."
"Pretty much."




"I mean, it might be the best organized codex, and maybe the most balanced, but Lash of Sub was ... man, we miss it."


"The best thing I get to play with now is Breath of Chaos. Pff. I'd rather have an Altoid."


**Altoids are a breath mint ... cinnamon being best, and hottest.

"Hold on Shas'la! All you las. We will prevail!"

"He almost said, 'lads' ."
"Better than Po or Tinky-Winky."
"Heh. La-las."
I


"It's going to be close, Enlightened One."
II


"If we can survive this horde, we can win."
III



IV
"What we need is to not roll so many danged ones!"


V
"It'd be helpful with the stupid pathfinders hadn't folded up!"




(earlier, on Turn 3):

"Fall Back, little la-las! Haw, haw, haw!"



"Well, it's a new edition. Isn't there a game mechanic that we can exploit?"
VI



VII
"Yes, there is, but Enlightened One, you're not going to like it."
"If it's for the Greater Good, then speak up, Shas'Ui."



VIII
"Well, Aun T'cha, You're going to have to die as per Price of Failure. And do it, like now, before our shooting phase. Assuming we pass the Morale Check and stay, we'll have Preferred Enemy "
"That did not do us much Good in the past."
"Yes, Fearless leader, but now it gains us re-rolls of ones. Even in shooting."
... "Very well, this may well serve the Greater Good for the better. But how can I perish on our Turn to benefit our Shooting Phase?"
"It's called Leap Down. You take a Dangerous test, and there's no save for you. Since you're already wounded, this will make you a casualty and ... well, you know the rest."



"You're right, I'm not going to like it, but very well. For the Grea - - !!"
IX


. . .

"Sorry, man, but that won't fly. You need at least three inches to gain the wound."
IX.2


IX.3
"Actually it does, the three inches just incurs a minus one on the D-roll."




X.5
"Just a penalty? Oh, okay. You do have that six inch bastion close by. Just do a Difficult Terrain roll here and Move to the Bastion. Embark, and then Leap to your Price of Failure next turn. The extra inches will help the biff roll with negative modifiers."
X

"Sounds like a plan. Thanks. Aren't you supposed to be over there, breathing in the FireStorm's face?"
"Yeah, I'll get back to my spot. I don't cheat, man."
XI



"It's a good thing you do, Enlightened One."
"Just start pasting daemons, eh?"
XII


XIII
"I suppose I could have started here. Giving Fearless to you XV88s."
"No arguments, here."




(one turn later):
"Okay, here goes. I'm gonna skip the Greater Good battle cry."
"Yeah. Fine with me."
XIV



"Still alive? ... ugh. I can't believe I failed to biff the landing. I suppose I have the consolation that the blood letters will not be locked in combat so they can be shot up next Turn."
XV


(After game)
XVI
"Wow, man. Im sorry I made the wrong call. *Any* Leap Down causes a Dangerous Test. I messed up the three inch thing."
"Prolly damn well cost my side the game."
"Ah, what? You can't forgive a little misquote on rules? The game is supposed to be about fun, huh?"
"What am I supposed to do? Hum the I've learned something today music from South Park. Get bent, douche."


And really, didn't we all learn something from Bob's mistake?

Damn, that Ethereal botched his attempt at martyrdom. If he were a Sister of Battle, he'd be an awesome hero for surviving... or possibly be remembered as a failure. I forget how it works with Sisters of Battle. Celestine botched her attempt at martyrdom by surviving that one fight when she was still a Repentia, but it ended up with her becoming a Living Saint. I guess it depends on how things work out over time.

I like this.

Not enough Daemon Princes as of late.