Christmas--er, Emprahmas carols!

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**Manchu**

We techpriests of Mechanicum are
Bearing gifts from forges of Mars
Tanks and Titans, made to fight in
The Emperor's glorious wars.

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, traitors burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Leman Russ, a million I've made
Shadowsword and mighty Baneblade
Struggling ever, Eye of Terror
Broken on Cadia's Gate

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, heretics burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Sacred Titans I will supply
God Machines to turn the tide
Man prevailing, xenos wailing
But no one will answer their cry

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, aliens burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Armor I forge for the Astartes
Invincible scourge of His enemies
Chainswords and bolters, pauldrons for shoulders
I give them all of these

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, mutants burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Mars and Terra together strong
In darkest era we will march on
Basilisks roaring, Thunderhawks soaring
The sounds of His glorious song

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, traitors burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

**Emperors Faithful**

Awesome mate.

Post this on Lyrics, Dakka, and Gaming too please.

**Orkestra**

Violent night
Deadly night
Prometheum
Is burning bright

Burn the heretics evil and vile
Cleanse the mutants and all who defile
Purge this world of their taint
Purge this world of their taint

Violent night
Deadly night
Space marines
Shall win this fight

Mighty angels of the Emperor born (pronounced 'emprah' to fit the rhythm)
Saving worlds in a righteous storm
Glory to the astartes (On some worlds this line is replaced by 'they are bald and screaming')
Glory to the astartes

(it gets sillier from here on out. Those were the accepted 'good citizen of the imperium' verses)

Violent night
Deadly night
The Emperor
Is always right

If you're ever unsure where to turn
If you're confused about who to burn
Ask - what would the corpse-god do?
What would the corpse-god do?

Violent night
Deadly night
In hand to hand
Orks delight

Hack and slash, then burn and smash,
Race to kill first - the nob's deadly dash
Fungal aliens with guns
Fungal aliens with guns

Violent night
Deadly night
Fear the kroot's
Hungry bite

Giant chickens who don't find it rude
To turn their enemies into food
You're for dinner tonight
You're for dinner tonight

Feel free to add verses.

**Manchu**

Good work, Orkestra. I am inspired by your seditious lyrics.

Kharne the Betrayer
Was a bloody-minded soul
With a huge chainaxe
And a plasma gun
And two eyes like burning coals

Kharne the Betrayer
Was a Space Marine they say
But when Horus fell
He said what the hell?
I'll just murder folks all day

They knew he had Khorne's favor
When on Terra his body was found
They thought that he was surely dead
But he began to dance around

Kharne the Betrayer
Was alive as he could be
His one goal is still
To maim, burn, and kill
Anyone that he can see

Blood for the Blood God
Blood for the Blood God
Look at Kharn go
Blood for the Blood God
Blood for the Blood God
And skulls for the Skull Throne

**Orkestra**

Warboss sand-da-klaws presents

Said the night wind to Horus Proud
"Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?
A throne, A throne, waiting for the day
That you use your might to betray,
That you use your might to betray."

Said the Horus proud to his space marines,
"Do you hear what I hear?
Do you hear what I hear?
The gods, the gods, Mighty in the warp
Let us raise them o'er the stars
Let us raise them o'er the stars."

Said the space marines to the galaxy,
"Do you know what I know?
Do you know what I know?
your worlds, your worlds, glist'ning as they turn,
well it's time that they were all burned!
Well it's time that they were all burned'

Said the Galaxy to the God-Emperor
"Listen to what I say!
Listen to what I say!
You're dead, tough gak, we'll stick you on this throne
And your corpse will keep us alive
And your corpse will keep us alive. "
(Ah, the joys of writers block at the last second. If anyone wants to take a crack at the last verse, be my guest.)

Thanks for this thread, Manchu. I've missed all the cool stuff you do on here while I was away.

**person person**

LOL

Got one!

First Rank FIRE!, Second rank FIRE! FIRE 'til the heretics are all dead
Oh what fun it is to cleanse this god-forsaken rock of heretics tonight

First Rank FIRE!, Second rank FIRE! FIRE 'til the heretics are all dead
Oh what fun it is to cleanse this god-forsaken rock of heretics tonight

Plowing through the corpses, in a Chimera APC
Oh what fun it is to cleanse this god-forsaken rock of heretics tonight

First Rank FIRE!, Second rank FIRE! FIRE 'til the heretics are all dead
Oh what fun it is to cleanse this god-forsaken rock of heretics tonight

Through the fortress walls we go, dismounting from our Chimera
2 seconds later we realize that a Bloodthirster materialised right behind us

First Rank FIRE!, Second rank FIRE! FIRE 'til that Bloodthirster's dead
Holy sh-t it ate Kenny so we ran
Then the Commisar killed us AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

**Thor665**

I am offended by the obvious Imperium bigotry going on in here. I demand songs from across the grimdark Christmas cosmos!

Bolt'ead's new red paint job trukk
had a very bright red coat. (we used GW paint!)
An' when 'e went an' drove it,
he would bellow out an' gloat. (with rude hand gestures!)

All of the other trukk boyz
all curse an' call him bastard. (like they have fathers?)
They never could out race him
for his trukk just went fasta'. (about one inch a turn!)

Then one smoggy battle day
Ghazzie came to say: (slow and purposefully!)
"Bolt'ead with your trukk so red,
lead the Waaagh or you'll be dead!"

Then all the trukk boyz loved him
as he charged the Space Marines, (we call dem beakies!)
Bolt'ead's new red paint job trukk,
you've been blown to smithereens! (by a blast template!)

**DaWarWren**

Thor for the win!
All hail Bolt'ead's new red paint job trukk!!

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

On the first day of purging the Emprah gave to me
A Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the second day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the third day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the fourth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the fifth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the sixth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the seventh day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Seven Karskin troopers
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the Eighth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Eight Holy Bolters
Seven Karskin troopers
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the ninth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Nine Emperers Champions
Eight Holy Bolters
Seven Karskin troopers
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the Tenth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Ten Immolaters
Nine Emperers Champions
Eight Holy Bolters
Seven Karskin troopers
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the Eleventh day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Eleven Drop pods falling
Ten Immolaters
Nine Emperers Champions
Eight Holy Bolters
Seven Karskin troopers
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestealer stuck in a tree.

On the Twelth day of purging the Emprah gave to me
Twelve Melta bombs
Eleven Drop pods falling
Ten Immolaters
Nine Emperers Champions
Eight Holy Bolters
Seven Karskin troopers
Six Leman Russes
Five Space Mar-ines!
Four Backflipping Terminators
Three power swords
Two multilasers
and a Genestea-ler stuck in a treeeeee!!!!!!!!

**person person**

That was a mouthful, why did the terminators have to backflip? LOL

**Thor665**

I agree - too many syllables in that verse. Overall fun idea though.

**dementedwombat**

so...many...multilasers....

On that note: (it's a work in progress)
On the first day of Crusade high command gave to me:
A tactical genius named Creed.

On the second day of Crusade high command gave to me:
Two outflanking Warhounds
and a tactical genius named Creed.

On the third day of Crusade high command gave to me:
Three outflanking Warlords
two outflanking Warhounds
and a tactical genius named Creed.

On the fourth day of crusade high command gave to me:
Four outflanking Baneblades
three outflanking Warlords
two outflanking Warhounds
and a tactical genius named Creed.

On the fifth day of crusade high command gave to me:
Five more e's
four outflanking Baneblades
three outflanking Warlords
two outflanking Warhounds
and a tactical genius named Creeeeeeed.

On the sixth day of crusade high command gave to me:
Six Russes outflanking
five more e's
four outflanking Baneblades
three outflanking Warlords
two outflanking Warhounds
and a tactical genius named Creeeeeeeeeeeed.

On the seventh day of crusade high command gave to me:
Seven exclamations
six Russes outflanking
five more e's
four outflanking Baneblades
three outflanking Warlords
two outflanking Warhounds
and a tactical genius named Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!!!!!

**Orkestra**

I'm strongly considering recording some a capella versions of these classic Warhammer tunes. As I try to get my bottom into gear, does anyone have any suggestions for ways to share them with Dakka that don't include Youtube? (that, or a PM'd tutorial on how to youtube for this almost luddite)

**Emperors Faithful**

These are all great!

**Mannahnin**

Wow! Some surprisingly high quality and funny stuff in here!

A couple of you guys are squeezing in extra syllables and breaking the scansion here and there, though.

-----------

Edit: Crud! Threadnomancy! Didn't realize.

Ah well, 'tis the season! Anyone got any new ones?

**Thor665**

Dark (Eldar) Night - sung to the tune of Silent Night

Brand new 'dex, shiny 'dex,
There's no more Terrorfex.
Poison weapons make MCs cry.
We can now kill Doom of Malantai
But lances aren't still cheap.
But lances aren't still cheap.

Brand new guys, not the same.
Got rules that are insane.
Transport invulnerable saves,
How and why was that rule even made?
Mandrakes still are the suck.
Mandrakes still are the suck.

New units, new wargear,
Pain tokens you will fear.
Raiders and Wyche spam I still like,
We have an IC gives all deep strike.
The models now look good.
The models now look good.

**Manchu**

Lovely work, old chap.

**Thor665**

Thanks, I just figure I have to get in quick before everyone else fills if with nothing but Emperor Hymns.

Carol of Asdrubael Vect sung to the tune of Carol of the Bells

Hark! here he comes
Bringing the guns
Sweet Raider pimp
Never to skimp
He's got ladies
Down on their knees
Incubi guard
Weapons of shard

Ar-chon, Ar-chon
He is the mon (<-- it's 'man' with a Jamacian accent - it's all I could come up with)
As-dru-ba-el
Bad ass as hell
Dissies all fire
Marines expire
Screams everywhere
Filling the air

Fills you with fear
When he is near
He is supreme
At being mean
His ride is sweet
With babes replete
None overcome
He is the one
He is quite snide
From his pimp ride
Commer, Commer, Commer, Commer, Commeragh.
Commer, Commer, Commer, Commer, Commeragh.

With all that bling
You better sing
Bout our man Vect
Give him respect.

He's the space pimp...

**Manchu**

Angels we have heard on high
Drop pods screaming through the sky
Red of blood, dark forest green
It's a festive death machine

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-or-ia
Imperator Deo
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-or-ia
Imperator Deo

**Mannahnin**

Hah! Nice ones.

I was thinking "But lances no longer are cheap", but I may be stretching the scansion slightly.

**snurl**

Beautiful work here.

*tears of joy*

**Manchu**

Wow, hard to believe this thread is over a decade old!

Anyone have any good Emprahmas carols for the end of this era?

**The_Grim_Angel**

In the grim darkness of the twentieth year there is still Christmas.

I know it is a little bit silly and surely weak in comparison to the previous carols, but until five second ago I didn't even know about this thread…
If I will think something better, I will post it.