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Alright mighty warriors, tales spun in the dark corners of the barracks behind the commissars back tell of a mystical xenos machine that you insert any random item into and it warps it into something else. The game works like this. You take the item inserted by the post above you, twist it as the chaos gods see fit and it comes out of the machine. Then you insert an item of your own and pray.

For example.

Guardsman one:
I insert my Ilo stick.

Guardsman two:
You recieve a old-terran corncob pipe.
I insert my copy of the Guardsman's Primer.


Simple.
Now bear in mind, we do have to keep this within DakkaDakka's forum post requirements. Nothing too explicit or illegal please.

May Tzeentch have mercy on the result, and may the Emperor have mercy on us for this heresy.

I will go first.

I insert the human in baroque power armour from Trazyn the Infinate's collection.

You recieve a bag 'o bases.

I insert a pumpkin.

You recieve a small warptoken.

I insert a pot of superglue. Opened.

You recieve a roll of tape, unwound.

I insert a small warptoken.

You recieve a SOBs corset

I insert a Space Marine

You recieve a pauldron.

I insert a gun.

You get a pot of paint.
I insert a dead ork.

You get mushroom soup.

I insert a playstation 4.

You get a Necron Monolith model painted black with streaks of dark blue.

I insert 3D6.

You get a 36 point buy array, you lucky devil you

i insert the avatar of khaine

You get a topless witch elf.

I insert a ChibiHawk.

You get a chubby bird of prey.

I insert a foot

You recieve a yardstick.

I insert some miscast finecast.

You get a small baggie of that fine warp dust. You hear the sound of a wailing Grey Knight off in the distance.

I insert a melta bomb. Primed for detonation.

You recieve a charred body.

I insert some green stuff.

You get a baggie full of different green stuff. You are promptly arrested for posession.

I insert a flying stand.

You get a Thunderhawk. Life size. Dropping right on top of you.

[EDIT]

I insert myself

You come out as a bloody bucket of body parts.

I insert a tape measure.

You recieve a red whippy stick ruler.

I insert a forgeworld Grot.

You recieve a Skavenslave. Huzzah!


I insert your mother. (HAHA! #SWAG)

You get a GW store employee who tells you to buy something or get out.

I insert a old bloodbowl pitch board

You get a rubber latex Dreadball pitch.

I insert an Emporer-class battleship.

You get a golden tooth.

I insert a chunk of ceramite.

You get a 1:16th light up scale replica of the Golden Throne

I insert a skeleton warrior injured in bloodbowl.

You recieve a bloodbowl ball, injured in a skeleton.

I insert Justin Bieber

You recieve a useless Fimir.

I insert some Squats.

You receive a DVD on how to do squat thrusts.

I insert a computer keyboard.

You receive a live mouse

I insert the Fimir

You recieve a Wood Elf.

I insert... Phil Kelly's severed head.

You recieve Phil Kellys body, minus its head.

I insert my cat