Like the Maytag repair man, some jobs just won't attract much business in the 40k universe.
Birth control specialists for Eldar come to mind in this category. What other ones would leave a person as the loneliest guy around?

Tyranid dietician?
Ork family counselor?
Ministorum comedian?
401k planner for Imperial Guardsmen?
Dark Angel gossip columnist?
Dark Eldar teddy bear salesman?

Necron Heart Specialist

Inquisitor_Malice wrote:Necron Heart Specialist

Doh! I was trying to come up with something like that but just couldn't make it work...

I imagine the space pope is pretty lonely
At least he has his rocket ship though

Imperial Insurance Agent?

Conflict Management Councilor

Hello Kitty.

Why wouldn't Dark Eldar children like Teddy Bears?

Space Marine Psychologist (to help them overcome their fears).

Ork Statistician

Tau anti-war activist.

imperial civil rights activist

Eldar marriage counsellor.
The guardsmen who flees (it may not be lonely but it's definetly short.
Commisar
Moratorium protestors (removed by ordo malleus)

The Emperor of Man (endless glory and praise, but all you want is an icecream)

Black Templars anger management specialist.

Ork Break dancers

Sisters of Battle Fire Brigade

An Imperial Conscientious Objector Committee Head

tyranid hooker

anger management for khorne berskers

Ork Dentist

Necromundan Eco-warrior ?

religius rights organizer in imperium

Chaos Lord in Terminator Armour

that guy that follows around the space marines and counts how many enamies were killed

Klotz wrote:Ork Break dancers

YA GOTTA BE JOKIN

THEY IZ ROKKIN!!!!!!

Slaanesh Abstinence Counselor

In 40K there are always these vaults that are never opened for thousands of years until one inquisitor has to look up an obscure fact about a planet that die a million years ago.

I pick the guys that have to guard these doors as loneliest job in 40K

“No one came today, nor yesterday, nor any day since the time of Sebastian Thor” – can’t they just put a lock there or something. The saddest part about this is you know the guy has wicked combat training and equipment. He’ll just never use it.

I know this is obvious, but Eldar Solitaire?

Imperial Acupuncturist.

Arctik_Firangi wrote:The Emperor of Man (endless glory and praise, but all you want is an icecream)

Holy freakin' heck, that's the most quotable thing I've seen in weeks!!

Sororitas pillow fight referee.

Amish Martian

Tallarn Sand-pit Salesman

****Imperium Free Speech advocate

****Imperium Theoretical sciences professor

****Imperium robot repair guy

Logan Grimnar's barber!

The little hooded dude that follows around the dark angles special character holding his helm.

- Death Guard janitor
- Chapter barber for the Emperor's Children
- Hrud tanning booth owner

Defense lawyer in Inquisitorial Court

space marine feminine rights activist
space marine therapist
space marine flower arranger

Tau civil rights activist ( as in Ghandhi and their caste System)

anyone who sells life insurance
and, of course, green peace
(glad no one stole that )

Edit; i cant spell

Jehovah's Witness on Fenris

Thousand Sons 100M sprinter

Necron fondue-chef.

Tau priest

JD21290 wrote:anyone who sells life insurance
and, of course, green peace
(glad no one stole that )

Edit; i cant spell

GREEN PEACE ROTFL, god wish I had thought of that!!!

you cant blow up that forrest!

F the forrest, the whole plannets gunna die

Greater Daemon of Nurgle's Personal Hygenist.

Exterminatus clean up volunteer.
Tyranid casualty predictor.
Tortured Ork artist.
Miracle Grow merchant on Catachan.
Kharn's personal trainer.

Anti-Mag wrote:Tortured Ork artist.

Actually, they used to have these - Ork Madboyz - there were "skitzo" ones and "manik" ones...great artists, I'm sure

- Tyranid Dentist

Ork Dentist

Ork C.S.I. - let's face it, they don't care about the how or who, just the size and range of the spatter

Tyranid wet nurse.

nurgel nurse white anti dote pils for a virus

Atillan Dog Food Salesman

"Proper 100% meat,squire, straight from the horse... I... er... I mean it's the freshest you'll find !"

Necron/tyranid Environment advocator

Necron health teacher

tyranid car salesman (don't ask why that came to mind)

Space marine stripper.. although... who knows? maybe the soritas would go for that kind of thing (again.. don't ask)

The alcoholics anonymous organizer for the space wolves chapter.

The Ork traffic cop

The "live above the influence" organizer for the emperors children

Jhon Lenon

Anyone running a weight loss/health and fitness/ hygene program among nurgle's ilk (its kinda funny)

Necron star gazers

sorry... for some reason it didn't post ... nvm

Chaos knife safety instructor.
DE moderator.

Xbox Tech support
Dakka Dakka web masters
World Of War Craft Tech support
Suicide Help Hotline (run by Xbox tech support)

Imperial Guard enrollment officer (as opposed to the Imperial Guard conscription officer!!)

Ork car wash attendant

Ork machine gun silencer salesman

Ork sexual health clinic worker (of course I won't tell the other Boyz you've got the clap, confidentiality is our speciality, and you've got a big shoota to my head)

Mad Dok

Ork "humans are people too" counsellor

Tyranid anchovy trainer
Tyranid CSI (where do you start with DNA testing?!?)

Eldar mechanic
Imperial naval hull painter
Ork plumber
Necron stasis maintenance

The bearer of bad news.


Maybe not lonely, but definitely short lived

thesuperiorninja wrote:Ork Dentist

Don't you mean an ork banker?

being a god definately

Being a C'tan god...you just eat everything...nothing left to talk to

Psyker_9er wrote:Xbox Tech support
Dakka Dakka web masters
World Of War Craft Tech support
Suicide Help Hotline (run by Xbox tech support)

..Or that one guy who can't get his xbox to work because there's no tech support or wall outlets (the Emperor is using them all).

tyranid porn star

The Imperial who presses the button to Nuke the planet Kreig for the next 500 years and his son , and his grand son, and his great grandson, and his great great grandson and so on for 500 years.

Tyranid Rock star

Eldar Abortionist

It also hits me that at least one Bad Moon had probably made an absolute killing at dentistry. ("Oi! me mouff 'urts!" "Oi'll fix that hurr hurr..." *KRUNCH* "AAAGH!" "...see, dat toof was em - pak - tid, but now oi've got me fee and yoor mouff don' 'urt so much...")

nurgle beauty salon dude

Necron Chef

plague marine soap maker

Corey85 wrote:plague marine soap maker

I'd think that'd sell quite well amongst Plague Marines...think about it, it'd probably be infested with disease

Tyranid Brain Surgeon.

Tzeenchian Psychologist.

Ratling who gets to clean the Imperator Titan.

Ogryn Mathmatician.

Nurgle "Extra Minty Mouthwash" Salesman

Khornate Blood Donor

Thousand sons chiropractor
Ork career counselor
Eldar real estate agent

Imperial Guard anti war activist

Sister of battle family planner

President of a miniatures wargaming company.......

Paintball event organiser on Cadia

Sister of battle family planner

Tau: Exotic Close Combat Trainer
Road Workers
Political Lobyists

Astalado wrote:Tau: Exotic Close Combat Trainer

Ya I suppose Farsight is pretty lonely

Kroot Fashion Designer

Kroot Meat Shop Owner

Khorne anger counselor

Khornate Acoustic Guitarist

Plaguebearer Body Wash Salesman who does his own commercials in the shower

Imperial guard tea lady

"yer wanna brew, love?"
"no ta, Doris, im a bit busy, we got a war on"

In fact, i might convert a greasy spoon cafe that attaches onto the back of my Leman Russ....... Or as a capturable objective.

Assault on The Butty Van, anyone?

Anything dealing with Scientology.

The upholders of the Geneva convention... We must have that in this post already.

Space Marine Gynecologist... what?

Necron Jazzercise teacher. (could you imagine those guys doing squats to "thriller"?)

Hippies...

3ff3ct wrote:Imperial guard tea lady

"yer wanna brew, love?"
"no ta, Doris, im a bit busy, we got a war on"

In fact, i might convert a greasy spoon cafe that attaches onto the back of my Leman Russ....... Or as a capturable objective.

Assault on The Butty Van, anyone?

We use giant kegs of Fenrisian beer as our objective markers. They also make the unit stubborn, and give the squads FNP

Klotz wrote:tyranid porn star

1) Take a good look at the Lictor.
2) Look up Japanese tentacle porn on Wikipedia.
3) Never look at Lictors the same way again. IT SNEAKS UP FOR A REASON!
4) Profit?

Also, the guy who's job it is to hollow out human heads to make servo skulls.

Hollowing out heads gets my vote!

How about the last guy that spots the approaching WAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!

Necromunda Urban Planner

Khorne Anger Manager

Tau Knife Salesman

Ork Accountant ("We is many! Many Many lots!")

Eldar Sewage Technician.

Dark Eldar Hippy

Ork civil rights lawyer

Dark eldar human activist group

Ogryn dentist.

Ratling big and tall salesman

Squiggoth Guide-dog for the blind

Imperial Military Retirement Planner, specializing in the elderly Space Marine.

Anyone who still plays warhammer in the far flung future of 40k.

Ork landscape artist.

Shrike78 wrote:Anyone who still plays warhammer in the far flung future of 40k.

Ork landscape artist.

I disagree. They have many landscape artists. True they work in a brutalist, naif style using found material and unconventional design parameters, but they have an inate vivacity bordering in on the dynamic. One would go so far as to claim they are masters of the millieu.

Necron toilet ladies!

PanzerSmurf wrote:Necron toilet ladies!

How about Necron ladies in general?

Praetorian 24th soldier that overslept and missed the big battle.