Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Choose gaming.

But the reason is abit different then what you guys might assume , i dont want to say it xD

Anyone who throws out such an ultimatum deserves to be dumped anyway.

I am sooo thankful my wife loves my hobby. She's proud of me and fawns over every award I bring home from a tourney or painting comp. She encourages me and keeps me going!

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Tell her to not let the door hit her on the on way out!

How big are her boobs? Because that highly effects my answer to this question.

lol well i think this time i would try to compramise. Last time i chose gaming over my partner i had to give up my house, and in a bizzare twist all my savings. so maybe second time round id think of a way to make both work.

Roze wrote:lol well i think this time i would try to compramise. Last time i chose gaming over my partner i had to give up my house, and in a bizzare twist all my savings. so maybe second time round id think of a way to make both work.

That's crazy talk! Crazy logical talk. But yeah, the serious answer is we'd make something work together, that's what relationships are after all. Though if I could learn to love Hello Kitty (damn you Julie!), I'm sure a woman could learn to love rolling dice with me =)

Neconilis wrote:How big are her boobs? Because that highly effects my answer to this question.

ahahahahhahahahahaha, that is so male!

Anyone who throws out such an ultimatum deserves to be dumped anyway.

Exactly, I'd dump her ass. No one gives me a god-damned ultimatum.

There is a compromise in every fight... And if she is so stuck up about it, she'll have my size 47 (european size) army boot firmly imprinted on her backside on the way out... I mean, do we not put up with their funny quirks? We deserve our own quirks!

Think of the effect on your wallet. A g/f is going to cost more in the long run! (certain above example obviously excluded!) You do also have to take into consideration added benefits though - cooking cleaning etc (I have a good deal, I cook, she cleans - think i'd die if I had to do both )

Sidstyler wrote:

Anyone who throws out such an ultimatum deserves to be dumped anyway.

Exactly, I'd dump her ass. No one gives me a god-damned ultimatum.

$10 says you looked over your shoulder after you typed that.

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

I actually had this happen a few months ago, the conversation went something like this:

"Why do you spend more time gaming and painting than with me?"

"The toys are here to stay for good, you however i seriously doubt it."

"OMG! What a thing to say"

"Its true though *now i actually have to put down the model I was working on*

"Well thats fine, you've lost me to your little toys are you happy now,"

me quoting something can't remember what..."Can you lose something you didn't want in hte first place"

ahhhhhhhh thank god she is gone.

Ah, women come and go, but there's always gaming and beer. Besides, there'll be another woman desperate enough to go out with me anyways.

My gf loves the hobby, she doesn't play but shes a scifi geek, avid reader and comp game player and loves reading the fluff in the codices and the artwork and modelling/painting.

I have almost convinced her to play eldar (she loves the sculpts) but I suspect she will try to usurp me and play orks (cos she loves one thing more than anything else, the ork with goggles, cigar and flamethrower in the DoW intro).

I only had one gf that was not at least sympathetic to the cause and referred to it as 'your toy soldiers' and insisted I sell all but one army, but then she was on a mission to normalise me from the beginning, I dumped her for an industrial-goth chick with pierced nipples as I recall.

The miniatures and fantasy/scifi, geekness, computer games, fishkeeping, it's part of what I enjoy doing, my hobbies reflect who I am and if she doesn't care for what your doing, then she doesn't really want you.

Unless you genuinely are ignoring her for the sake of the figures, then you are a sad bastard, cos no amount of winning 40k compares to winning at Wet Snuggles with the lady.

IF they can spend ridiculous amounts of money on shoes....

it's not only girls that act so irrational. Men (as proven by my first post) like to throw the me or them ultimatums about too. RPG's were always things i enjoyed in most any form...which my Bf dosen't like, so i can't do that when he is there i also can't watch sci fi movies because he dosen't like them or watch cartoons (my big weakness i Love cartoons!) and many other bits, i don't do these things because i wouldn't like to be sat watching something that i really didnt enjoy....or because im so bloody soft. *sigh*

here is my opinion.

I like to keep seperate identities when i am in a relationship. I often see people blend together... and that is just a shame. If you make time for her, and she makes time for you then there should still be time left over for ourselves.

Plan a bit more in advance. Do you go every weekend out to game? Maybe 1-2 weekends a month? it all depends.

You have to balance things... too much gaming makes you get fat... not enough gaming makes you dull

eh... ::my point trails off:: everything in moderation

What can I say? My wife enjoys time with me.

The models will always be there later.

/whipcrack

Yes, mistress. Sorry fellas, gotta go.

Roze wrote:it's not only girls that act so irrational. Men (as proven by my first post) like to throw the me or them ultimatums about too. RPG's were always things i enjoyed in most any form...which my Bf dosen't like, so i can't do that when he is there i also can't watch sci fi movies because he dosen't like them or watch cartoons (my big weakness i Love cartoons!) and many other bits, i don't do these things because i wouldn't like to be sat watching something that i really didnt enjoy....or because im so bloody soft. *sigh*

Just to make sure its clear....

My GF actually thinks the hobby is really cool and doesnt curtail my hobby activities in the least.

....it just struck me as a funny thing to post. (as long as she doesnt see it!)

malfred wrote:What can I say? My wife enjoys time with me.

The models will always be there later.

/whipcrack

Yes, mistress. Sorry fellas, gotta go.

Thats the power of the kitty.

The wife wins! Making an issue of it only leads to tighter restrictions on gaming down the line. Besides, if you immediately drop everything and take care of her, then your wife tends to be... appreciative. An evening with an appreciative wife is far more enjoyable than even the best night of gaming.

Hopefully you learn the signs to avoid people who are possesive like that, or do what I did and just date married women. That leads to lonly holidays though.

If you are spending so much time working on your models, that your Gf/Wife has to remind you to do other things, it's you who deserve to be kicked to the curb.

it's a relationship, if you put more time into hobby, then you are having a relationship with the minis no?

It's a matter of moderation in all things. Too much booze, you get stupid. Too much nookey, you get stupid. Too much male friends over at the house, well, we won't touch that one. Too much hobby time, you get stupid.

See the point? If you are balancing things well enough, you have time for hobby, sex, GW/wife, beer, friends, etc. You obviously don't balance things well if she's poking you saying, "Hey, take a look at these for a while ..."

I'd stop playing/painting for awhile. I'd eventually find some free time to paint/play again I'm certain of it. But of course I don't life with my GF so I suppose it's easier.

After 12 years together, she finally decided to start playing after seeing my son enjoyed playing too. I joke with her now that after the kids go to bed, we can play some nude 40k. I don't think the game would get very far is her answer.

After a long, hard look at the sort of genes I might be passing on, and my own lack of patience with my fellow Human beings I have come to the conclusion a long time ago that I was done trying to impress the Goils. I can cook well enough for me, and my innate Nurglyness stands me in good stead for tolerating the mess.

Roze wrote:it's not only girls that act so irrational. Men (as proven by my first post) like to throw the me or them ultimatums about too. RPG's were always things i enjoyed in most any form...which my Bf dosen't like, so i can't do that when he is there i also can't watch sci fi movies because he dosen't like them or watch cartoons (my big weakness i Love cartoons!) and many other bits, i don't do these things because i wouldn't like to be sat watching something that i really didnt enjoy....or because im so bloody soft. *sigh*

Frak that! I wouldn't spend time with someone who put an end to my hobbies or worse wouldn't even watch some SF with me. I need someone I can connect with and have shared interests. Sex great, but you spend the majority of the time doing other things, and if that means watching bloody soaps or something I'm outta there.

Failing all that I suppose you could slap her about the kitchen.

frgsinwntr wrote:here is my opinion.

I like to keep seperate identities when i am in a relationship. I often see people blend together... and that is just a shame. If you make time for her, and she makes time for you then there should still be time left over for ourselves.

Plan a bit more in advance. Do you go every weekend out to game? Maybe 1-2 weekends a month? it all depends.

You have to balance things...

QFT. Marriage/LTRs *aren't* about two people becoming one, no matter what cheesy crap they put on greeting cards. They're about compromise and understanding between two individuals.

And that's why I've never understood the quest for the gamer girl. Separate (nondestructive) interests -- and the understanding that you'll give the other person a little space for their interests -- is the sign of a healthy relationship, IMO. And really, it's not hard to find a girl with a hobby of her own. She may not understand yours, but she'll be able to appreciate what comes with being part of a hobby.

So to the OP, you don't do either. You have a conversation about it because that's what adults do.

Gaming is a dark and seductive mistress in it's own right. For me, in the long run (not sure what this says about me) gaming has been the healthier of the two relationships.

...tell her to get out of my light source, I'm trying to get the lenses on the Devilfish just right. And to get me another beer. And get in the kitchen and make me some cookies. And to fire up the DVR to play SB43.

And then, I wake up........

Flipping a coin usually works.

stonefox wrote:Flipping a coin usually works.

Thanks for the tip, Mr. Harvey Dent!

Would endorsing the coin flip philosophy make you a dent-ist?

Gitzbitah wrote:Would endorsing the coin flip philosophy make you a dent-ist?

Actually, I think it makes you a Dent-ian. A dent-ist is someone who likes to inflict pain. Anyone have a link to Steve Martin's dentist song?

dietrich wrote:

stonefox wrote:Flipping a coin usually works.

Thanks for the tip, Mr. Harvey Dent!

A true normal distribution of agreement/disagreement is the very definition of compromise.

well i never expected him to like all the things that i like that would just be boring, but being able to enjoy them more than once every blue moon when he works late would be lovely. He likes guitar hero, i'm not so keen but i play when he ask's me to. would be nice for him to try some RPG's just to see if he did like them, thats all i was saying i wasn't saying he had to like what i like or vice versa.

It's all about balance. Obviously if your girlfriend has a problem with you gaming once or twice a week the relationship is not going to work out. By the same token, if you want to game every weekend and expect to go away for tournaments every three months you should resign yourself to the fact that you will die alone.

olympia wrote:It's all about balance. Obviously if your girlfriend has a problem with you gaming once or twice a week the relationship is not going to work out. By the same token, if you want to game every weekend and expect to go away for tournaments every three months you should resign yourself to the fact that you will die alone.

True words that. If it wasn't gaming it would be something else. Frankly you need the balance. When you're married you udnerstand this. When you've been married a long time you understand this even better

I won't be alone! I have all my gaming buddies at the tournies to hang out with! woot!

I have no reason to complain, my wife is very understanding with the amount of gaming that I do (which is not that much - Adepticon and a few local tournies, and that's about it).

Relationships are a give and take, not all give or take. If you let the hobby consume you, then any relationship won't last long, no matter how close you think the 2 of you are.

In this case the gaming wins. I don't respond well to demands, ultimatums or threats. The hobby is part of who I am and it is one of the few things in life I enjoy doing and one of the very few things I can do reasonably well and don't think I completely suck at. However luckily for me my wife knows I need a bit of space now and then and she knows how much the hobby means to me. So she would never make such a demand nor would I (hopefully anyway) let the relationship get to the level where such a demand was needed. Yes I can get carried away or obsessed with getting a model just right and finished sometimes.

A girlfriend who didn't know about an obessesive hobby isn't a girlfriend - that's your fault.

A girlfriend who knew about it and thought "I CAN CHANGE HIM!!!!" - that's annoying.

A wife who didn't know about an obessesive hobby isn't a wife - that's your fault.

A wife who knew about it and thought "I CAN CHANGE HIM!!!!!" - that's dangerous.

If it's your fault - grow up.
If it's annoying - end it.
If it's dangerous - put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye, in the best case you're losing half your salary for the rest of your life.

The (now) wife was told before we were ever even an official couple, "If you ever give me an ultimatum to choose between you and someone or something else, I will NEVER choose you. If you love someone, you do not issue those ultimatums."

She has never tried it.

For the record, I'm a man of my word, too...


Eric

Old Man Ultramarine wrote:

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Tell her to not let the door hit her on the on way out!

SOOO TRUE!

The best bit of advice that I heard before getting married summarized the difference between men and women.

Two men have a fight. Go out for beers that night, all is forgiven.

Two women have the same fight. They don't speak for five years.

I've never had a problem where the hobby blocked the social aspects of my life. One day I went into work early so that I could get some solid painting time. All my coworkers were amazed I had the patience to do such a thing and thought the miniatures were amazing.

Girls that I have brought over my house saw my miniatures (they are hard to miss as they are literally everywhere) either didn't comment at all or were shocked I had such "an artistic hobby". You should never hide who you are from another person you spend time with. From the get go they should know what you are like and what you are into and either compromise or just put up with it.

Anyone that wants to change who you are definitely isn't worth it. Now i'm not going to say that change is a bad thing of course some changes would are worth going through.

My current girlfriend actually think it's a "cute hobby" and a few weeks ago painted one of my random minis I had laying around. She was deeply immersed and wished she had more time to paint the mini before she had to leave. Though I am not keen on making her part of the gaming aspect of the hobby i'm glad that I have someone to paint with and talk to... though distraction/temptation could run high lol

That's just about right, in my experience.

olympia wrote:It's all about balance. Obviously if your girlfriend has a problem with you gaming once or twice a week the relationship is not going to work out. By the same token, if you want to game every weekend and expect to go away for tournaments every three months you should resign yourself to the fact that you will die alone.

Have to agree, if your other half can't allow you some "me" time, then the relationship is doomed. I game on a Monday night, then during the rest of the week I try to fit in the rest of life, freelance working, model painting, helping with grand-daughter. On a good weekend I will get do between 4 - 6 hours of extra model painting, but again not set in stone. At no time dose my wife moan at me about it. On the plus side I've got her hooked on Guitar Hero on the Wii, so when she assumes the pose... straight out to my painting desk with no feelings of guilt

Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

dietrich wrote:The best bit of advice that I heard before getting married summarized the difference between men and women.

Two men have a fight. Go out for beers that night, all is forgiven.

Two women have the same fight. They don't speak for five years.

now it may just be my social circle but if a female friend and i have a fight we go out for drinks and thats the end of that, 2 of my male friends had a fight about 3 year ago and they still refuse to attend any gatering where the other "Might" be and spend 90% of the time there with our group of friends bitching about us still being friends with the other party.
highly irritating and now getting very close to neither being involved with us at all.
i have yet to hold any grudge with any person i have had a fight with, so it think your statement is inacurate

I'll cast my vote for moderation. But yeah, my wife learned very early on that ultimatum's are a great way to spin me up. I could have warned her, but sometimes women take warnings as challenges. And some of the best lessons you have to learn the hard way.

Orkeosaurus wrote:Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

Call the nice men in the pretty white coats.

Roze wrote:i have yet to hold any grudge with any person i have had a fight with, so it think your statement is inacurate

No, my statement was a huge generalization, made somewhat with tongue in cheek.

I can see the 'dump her ass' approach working on Gf's, but not wives.

Personally, my friends and I schedule games 1-2 weeks in advance at our flgs. Its good for a few reasons.

#1. We have that time set aside at the shop so they know we are coming and can be set up for us when we get there.

#2. My girlfriend knows when I will be gaming. No schedule conflicts and no argument.

As far as painting goes, well I just fit that into any spare time I might have. I'm not gonna ditch my GF to paint a few plastic men. So far there have rarely been any problems between my hobby and our relationship. She has even come to a game once and has bought me some minis. In her opinion though its still that 'nerd game' that I play.

I get one game night a week and 3 two day events a year. This works pretty well. GW is a cheap hobby.

Orkeosaurus wrote:Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

Tiny, plastic spears don't hold a candle to a kitchen knife.

Orkeosaurus wrote:Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

"Well, you guys satisfy me, and I love you with all my black little heart but....


.....she's so soft!"

Orkeosaurus wrote:Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

I stop licking my paint brush?

My GF doesn't mind that I build/paint models every night since we don't live together or anything like that. In fact she prolly likes that I'm home instead of out boozin or something. The only problem is we really only get to see each other on saturdays.. which would be fine usually, but my game club meets 1 saturday a month and she gets pissy if I say I wanna play instead since that's the only day we can hang out. So now on a game day I just play till 5 or 6 and go hang with her afterwards, or try to get a game at the store on a sunday if I'm free.

If I got an ultimatum, I'd choose the game.. just because a relationship built on an ultimatum isn't something I wanna be in. Luckily, she's not like that

Orkeosaurus wrote:Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

I'm not sure over 300 Ork boyz with all of their vehicles, weapons and supporting grots, coming to life, would be a good thing! Even if I chose them over her they would eventually start to fight. Even being an inch or so tall, the WAAAGH!!! would probably destroy the dining room and even when I managed to take them all out (Assuming I avoid the rokkits and 2 Looted Leman Russ') I would forever worry about the spores, the horrible spores!

Yeah, on second thought that might be kinda cool.

I have to put my 2 pence worht in here. Clearly if your partner is telling you its either them or the models, then you've only yourself to blame and deserve to be booted.

If you've got your partner well trained, they'd have never have asked that question in the first place !

Orkeosaurus wrote:Okay how about an alternative scenario: Your gaming models become animate and tell you to choose between them and your wife/girlfriend.

What do you do now?

Geez, isn't it obvious?

You dump the gf or divorce the wife before they realize what's going on. You then train your minis to do tricks, and take the show on the road. Make mass bank, and get all the groupies you want. It's PERFECT!!!!

Oh, and I gotta agree with the no ultimatums. I really don't respond well to bullying, or threats. My families a bit controlling, so most control dramas just result in me shrugging or laughing, and tell the other person where to get off. It's a bit hard some times, and results in some hard feelings, but at the end of the day I'm free.

OTOH, if she came in and said something like "Honey, I don't feel like you've been spending enough time with me, can we go do X." I'm all for it.

If you REALLY don't want to spend time with your SO it's time to find somebody else.

Finally, I understand the interest in a gaming gf. Mine likes board games, it gives us something in common, something to do together, something to discuss. My interest in wargaming doesn't seem as immature as it might to somebody coming from a different background. (Her sister thinks it's very geeky, but then she's pretty young, and I've seen/heard about the guys she goes out with! )

Neconilis wrote:How big are her boobs? Because that highly effects my answer to this question.

QFT...I just pray my wife doesn't decide to join Dakka.....j/k

Roze wrote:lol well i think this time i would try to compramise. Last time i chose gaming over my partner i had to give up my house, and in a bizzare twist all my savings. so maybe second time round id think of a way to make both work.

Roze wrote:it's not only girls that act so irrational. Men (as proven by my first post) like to throw the me or them ultimatums about too. RPG's were always things i enjoyed in most any form...which my Bf dosen't like, so i can't do that when he is there i also can't watch sci fi movies because he dosen't like them or watch cartoons (my big weakness i Love cartoons!) and many other bits, i don't do these things because i wouldn't like to be sat watching something that i really didnt enjoy....or because im so bloody soft. *sigh*

Roze wrote:well i never expected him to like all the things that i like that would just be boring, but being able to enjoy them more than once every blue moon when he works late would be lovely. He likes guitar hero, i'm not so keen but i play when he ask's me to. would be nice for him to try some RPG's just to see if he did like them, thats all i was saying i wasn't saying he had to like what i like or vice versa.

Well if you ever wanted to loose the non sci fi non cartoon watching non gaming guy you could move here I love cartoons and sci fi and today is game day yipee.
I would try to work it out with her.

Aw, Jesus.
I knew it was just a matter of time before someone started hitting on the ladies in the thread.

Classy.

Eric

MagickalMemories wrote:Aw, Jesus.
I knew it was just a matter of time before someone started hitting on the ladies in the thread.

Classy.

Eric

I agree! Epic fail.

did someone say there were girls in this thread.... ?

if she told me to choose between her or gaming?
i would give up gaming.
allthough, since she plays just as much as me then i would throw her the same question.

so either way, i wont have to give up, or, ill get to spend alot more time with her.

win / win situation i guess

usernamesareannoying wrote:did someone say there were girls in this thread.... ?

OMG!!! Slobber Slobber!

If you got this ultimatum, you've already lost. Either talk it out or kick him to the curb.

When we bought my current home, I had a requirement of a basement where I can put a game table and work area. If she makes that sort of ultimatum now, I demand she gives up her DS and XBox 360. Then we file for divorce because we spend too much time together.

dietrich wrote:The best bit of advice that I heard before getting married summarized the difference between men and women.

Two men have a fight. Go out for beers that night, all is forgiven.

Two women have the same fight. They don't speak for five years.

OK, so what I'm taking out of this is that your advice is to have a gay marriage with a gamer.



Whilst I can see some of the advantages, it doesn't float my boat.

More power to you though!

it's a relationship, if you put more time into hobby, then you are having a relationship with the minis no?

I don't know, those Dark Elf Whitches look awfully foxy.

My wife doesn't appreciate the game, but she knows I do, so I get 1 evening a week to play and the rest of the time (as long as I'm at home with her) she doesn't mind if I paint, put the mini's together or whatever. That's the way it should be.

No ultimatums, no choices!

is my DE's came to life and asked me to choose i think id leave them both! i'd obviously be going crackalackers and i would blame it on the stress of no cartoons *giggle*.

Be happy when your models ask you to leave your GF/BF it could be worse....

...so long as they dont start telling you to KILL your BF/GF I think you're still in the green.

MagickalMemories wrote:Aw, Jesus.
I knew it was just a matter of time before someone started hitting on the ladies in the thread.

Classy.

Eric

You didn't notice the winkie eye come on notice the winkie eye.
I can,t afford to support my self let alone a gf or a wife them wimins costs money that I spends on gw stuff.
Hec she didn't even comment on it and new it was a joke.
*goes and sulks in a corner*

Don't scare off the ladies by treating them as such.

You're better off not even acknowledging their Gender and simply considering them another dakka member.

I suspect that they would appreciate that....after all they're coming here to simply be "one of the guys". They dont come here to flirt. Less chance of driving them off if you avoid this sort of "Humor". I'm sure everyone here can appreciate the benefits of having them stick around. Lets try not to drive them off.

If you wouldnt make the same joke to any of the regular "Guys" around here...its probablly not a good idea to hit up Roze or Slannesh with the comment. (or any other ladies that I've missed....like Frazzled)

If a person can't take a joke they are on the wrong planet where nature or god put a duck bill on a platypus and she did get the joke look at my profile.

Deadshane1 wrote:

Sidstyler wrote:

Anyone who throws out such an ultimatum deserves to be dumped anyway.

Exactly, I'd dump her ass. No one gives me a god-damned ultimatum.

$10 says you looked over your shoulder after you typed that.

You would've lost $10.

To be fair though, I don't really have a wife or even a girlfriend. I can't even get by financially as it is. And the one girl I am interested in right now doesn't really care about my hobby anyway, so it's not even really an issue for me. But still, I'm a very firm believer in that, if your girlfriend/boyfriend throws an ultimatum out there they obviously don't really give a gak about you in the first place. I might be able to understand if you were doing some hardcore drugs or something equally dangerous/illegal, I wouldn't want anything to do with that either, but as far as a harmless hobby goes? Demanding your GF/BF drop it simply because it's too "geeky" for them? feth that, they simply aren't worth being with.

Unless you genuinely are ignoring her for the sake of the figures

Well yeah, if it's an all out obsession and you don't spend any time at all with her, but I've never heard of an actual sensible case like that, most of the time it's just girlfriends getting stupid because they don't want you doing it at all or because you actually spend time NOT showering her with attention/money, whether it's models or some other hobby.

Don't scare off the ladies by treating them as such.

You're better off not even acknowledging their Gender and simply considering them another dakka member.

Indeed.

sonofruss wrote: If a person can't take a joke they are on the wrong planet where nature or god put a duck bill on a platypus and she did get the joke look at my profile.

Justify it however you like.

Keep "joking" and expect more comments regarding how "classy" you are....or arent.

...you've been warned.

The real question is: If you were dating models, would you go for the models or the models? Though it doesn't matter cuz we warhamsters are nerdszz so the issue would never come up.

tallmantim wrote:OK, so what I'm taking out of this is that your advice is to have a gay marriage with a gamer.

As Bill Engvall would say, "If it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Then you're just hanging out with your buddies all the time."

Ha ha you guys are funny!
i didnt comment because i knew it was a joke i don't wanna be one of the "guys" i lack the necessary appendage, and on theme i wish to change my statement and introudce the talking models to the BF i'm sure he would go running then i wouldn't feel bad chosing either

stonefox wrote:The real question is: If you were dating models, would you go for the models or the models? Though it doesn't matter cuz we warhamsters are nerdszz so the issue would never come up.

Speak for yourself. I'm a superstud!

While we are on the subject of marriage guidance...

Something that occurred to me a few years back is that a lot of my painting time is sometimes "cave-time" (read "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" if you want to understand what that means).

After a build up of hassle at work and elsewhere, from time to time I have need of sitting on my own for a couple of hours, doing something interesting but not too demanding and not interacting with the rest of the family. Not every day, but perhaps once or twice a fortnight. Its one of those vital necessities that help make me a human being worth living with, and not a psychotic mess.

Most of the time, my wife spots the signs and has the grace to stand back until I'm feeling more human again.

Most, nearly all of the time, I'm a loving generous dad and husband, or try my best to be. Sometimes though I just need to hide in a quiet room with my little toy soldiers and sob inside until my ability to exert control over my life and not feel like a piece of rubbish dumped on by the world has been re-established!

In between times, I am happy to let her have as much girly "well-time" with her friends as she needs.

Its when her need for well-time coincides with my need for cave-time coincide, and she inflicts her day's woes on me when I'm trying to shuck my own that we have problems.... By hey! That's why God invented forgiveness right?!

Deadshane1 wrote:

stonefox wrote:The real question is: If you were dating models, would you go for the models or the models? Though it doesn't matter cuz we warhamsters are nerdszz so the issue would never come up.

Speak for yourself. I'm a superstud!

Nope. We're all warhamsters who are ugly, have no self-confidence, drink mt. dew and eat cheetos all the time. We don't do anything physically active. We go out on friday nights to bars in an attempt to woo the ladies but in reality we all fail so horribly that we just get lucky sometimes and the hot girl's ugly friend pities us.

This is why we all post during the weekend.

stonefox wrote:

Deadshane1 wrote:

stonefox wrote:The real question is: If you were dating models, would you go for the models or the models? Though it doesn't matter cuz we warhamsters are nerdszz so the issue would never come up.

Speak for yourself. I'm a superstud!

Nope. We're all warhamsters who are ugly, have no self-confidence, drink mt. dew and eat cheetos all the time. We don't do anything physically active. We go out on friday nights to bars in an attempt to woo the ladies but in reality we all fail so horribly that we just get lucky sometimes and the hot girl's ugly friend pities us.

This is why we all post during the weekend.

To quote Vork from the Guild "Women: Can't live with them, they won't go out with me."

Osbad wrote:While we are on the subject of marriage guidance...

Something that occurred to me a few years back is that a lot of my painting time is sometimes "cave-time" (read "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" if you want to understand what that means).

Oh smite! Smite!

(Yeah, I use the book to defend my cave-time, too, but still!)

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Naw, just switch to painting her instead.

ChaosDave wrote:

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Naw, just switch to painting her instead.

lol I once tried to persuade the wife to dress up like a witch elf.

I think a lot of the time she is actually glad when I go do some painting it gives her time to do things on her own too like read or watch her Russian DVDs which aren't subtitled and I don't understand a word of, or study for her Chinese course. I get bored easily and restless if I have nothing to do and I end up pestering her and getting in her way.

Le Grognard wrote:Ah, women come and go, but there's always gaming and beer. Besides, there'll be another woman desperate enough to go out with me anyways.

*Locks the door* Amen to that brother! *leaves thread and unlocks the door*

malfred wrote:

Osbad wrote:While we are on the subject of marriage guidance...

Something that occurred to me a few years back is that a lot of my painting time is sometimes "cave-time" (read "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" if you want to understand what that means).

Oh smite! Smite!

(Yeah, I use the book to defend my cave-time, too, but still!)

The secret's in not overusing the ruse...

Deadshane1 wrote:

sonofruss wrote: If a person can't take a joke they are on the wrong planet where nature or god put a duck bill on a platypus and she did get the joke look at my profile.

Justify it however you like.

Keep "joking" and expect more comments regarding how "classy" you are....or arent.

...you've been warned.

Roze wrote:Ha ha you guys are funny!
i didnt comment because i knew it was a joke i don't wanna be one of the "guys" i lack the necessary appendage, and on theme i wish to change my statement and introudce the talking models to the BF i'm sure he would go running then i wouldn't feel bad chosing either

The question if not wife/GF or gaming.

It's more who is being the #@#$ head. If you spend all the money on gaming and you do it obssessively and it makes you all wacked out then you are inflicting a serious problem to the relationship and she is trying to control that problem rather than just assume it's hopeless and leave. She might have a point and she might be metaphorically asking an alchoholic to stop drinking because it's obvious that drinking has become a very bad thing.

On the other hand if it's more a case of " Ken will damned well wear what Barbie tells him to wear and he'd better smile real wide the whole time because Barbie is a $#%ing queen and by the way all his friends are creepy and he needs to stop talking to them and get a second job to pay for the summer house with a wine cellar that they can't afford so she can host cigar parties with a live jazz combo" then your significant other doesn't view you as a person but more as a disobedient disappointing vending-machine/fashion accessory. See she bought you cheap as a 'diamond in the rough 'but, no matter how much she polishes you, you refuse to sparkle enough to justify her "kindness". You ought to be extremely grateful that she ever even looked at a drooling slug like you and developed even the slightest faith in your potential! Why in the old days the women would lock a loser-nobody like you out of the cave at night so the giant prehistoric hyenas could clean them up.

Anyway I've seen conflicts like this happen for both reasons. Gaming nuts who pretty much take a ten year long leak on the person who loves them because they are trapped in a pitiful "me me me" manchild existence are sad. So are people who knowingly marry someone with a nerdy hobby on the unrealistic expectation that after saying a vow their partner is obliged to submit to 100% brainwashing and makeovers on demand for life or until she gets bored.

The problem is that an awful lot of people in this world are heartless, myopic, spritually damaged, egomanicas, who live in a dreamworld and get snarly anything that challenges that dreamworld. If you get lonely and then don't pay some honest attention to the actual character of the person you are pairing off with before it's too late....you might get stuck with one. Then no one is happy.

You are supposed to share your time, life, and resources with some one else. You are not supposed to kidnap them to dwell as a near captive in 'your' world surrounded by 'your' choices, where they are perpetually kept away from the things they like. (Like every other wednesday night spent with friends playing games, or a house without unpainted hobby #@#$ cluttering every square foot all the time, or a life without huge looming credit card debt, or long nights that are NOT spent alone waiting for someone to drag in at 2:00am and go right to bed because the dice were hot and tiem got away from them.) The key is to know how your partner feels, CARE about how they feel, and be considerate without ever volunteering to be the third class roll-over lackey of some self appointed faux-royalty idiot in the process.

"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

i had a jealous girlfriend who asked me to not game so much (one night a week). i said that i have two choices to spend my time away from her:

1) spend time with a bunch of overweight guys and friends at a games store with rarely a woman in sight while playing with toy soldiers or

2) spend time with single friends at a bar who are flirting with plenty of drunk women within arm's reach.


Needless to say I got alot of playtime in with my guardsmen and orks for the rest of that relationship!

On the other hand if it's more a case of " Ken will damned well wear what Barbie tells him to wear and he'd better smile real wide the whole time because Barbie is a $#%ing queen and by the way all his friends are creepy and he needs to stop talking to them and get a second job to pay for the summer house with a wine cellar that they can't afford so she can host cigar parties with a live jazz combo" then your significant other doesn't view you as a person but more as a disobedient disappointing vending-machine/fashion accessory. See she bought you cheap as a 'diamond in the rough 'but, no matter how much she polishes you, you refuse to sparkle enough to justify her "kindness". You ought to be extremely grateful that she ever even looked at a drooling slug like you and developed even the slightest faith in your potential! Why in the old days the women would lock a loser-nobody like you out of the cave at night so the giant prehistoric hyenas could clean them up.

Reading that made me want to murder people.

Gaming + Porn is a Hell of a Lot cheaper than a GF and twice as rewarding.

Keep the gaming ;p

Waaaaaaagh! wrote:Gaming + Porn is a Hell of a Lot cheaper than a GF and twice as rewarding.

Keep the gaming ;p

Yikes, frightening. Cheaper, maybe, rewarding...

Says the man who won Free P.A.C.K

Gaming is MUCH more rewarding

Ha ha! Now that's good. Which bag is better you ask?

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Well, the first one.

War gaming is eventually more durable than a relationship.

When the wife and I hooked up, I made it clear that I had hobbies that I would not be giving up. I might cut back a little, but they would be staying. If she didn't like it, or couldn't accept that, then we wouldn't be staying together.

She said I was right.

I told her I would have my gaming days (so many per month) and she agreed to that, too.

I was showing her some stuff in a local store and she picked up the WHFB "fortified manorhouse" box - "can you build and paint this for me?" she askes me.

I'm holding an Imperial sector box in my hands at this point (which I would really like to have, but I only have enough money on me for one or the other - mine or hers). I tell her so.

"Put them both on my card, then" is her reply.

This is why I love my wife. She doesn't diss my hobby. She accepts it, and lets me have my "geek time". Those guys who have the hideos shrews who make them give up their hobbies get nothing from me but my pity. That's no way to live.

It is all about compromise, though.

LET THE WIFE WIN. WOOKIEES ONLY RIP YOUR ARMS OFF.

malfred wrote:

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

It only takes a moment to wash the paintbrush and close the paint pot lid, then it's time for "The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!"

warpcrafter wrote:

malfred wrote:

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

It only takes a moment to wash the paintbrush and close the paint pot lid, then it's time for "The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!"

hmmm... save the brush or bring the beat down? how about you poke the kid in the eye with the paintbrush? no need for pathetic blood red.....

and im sure if your gona beat the kid itll only take a minute and the paint wont have fully dryed by then, so you could paint, beat then paint again all in one action!!

I have found that if your partner starts complaining that you are spending to much time gaming/painting rather than fight her on it give in and become as clingy as possible. You have to make them want to have time away from you. Once they get tired of you being around constantly they may actually push you to game more often.

I don't understand this thread...what the hell is she doing out of the damn kitchen!!

Nope. We're all warhamsters who are ugly, have no self-confidence, drink mt. dew and eat cheetos all the time. We don't do anything physically active. We go out on friday nights to bars in an attempt to woo the ladies but in reality we all fail so horribly that we just get lucky sometimes and the hot girl's ugly friend pities us.

This is why we all post during the weekend.

IRPurple wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:

malfred wrote:

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

It only takes a moment to wash the paintbrush and close the paint pot lid, then it's time for "The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!"

hmmm... save the brush or bring the beat down? how about you poke the kid in the eye with the paintbrush? no need for pathetic blood red.....

and im sure if your gona beat the kid itll only take a minute and the paint wont have fully dryed by then, so you could paint, beat then paint again all in one action!!

GW's hand-flamer style spray gun ignores cover saves.

Quite an interesting thread.

I agree with the sentiment that there's 1 of 2 things wrong: Either you are neglecting the relationship or she has unrealistic expectations and isn't willing to accept you for who you are.

Luckily I haven't run into this problem yet. My girlfriend is fine with the hobby, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I eased her into it over a course of several years.

I've never had a girlfriend who had a problem with gaming. Some think it's interesting, some think it's cute, some didn't really care but liked that it made buying gifts a no brainer. I wouldn't be interested in a girl who wanted me to stop: I play maybe once every two weeks, and I don't become antisocial when painting, I'm a chatterbox.

- Human wrote:Quite an interesting thread.

I agree with the sentiment that there's 1 of 2 things wrong: Either you are neglecting the relationship or she has unrealistic expectations and isn't willing to accept you for who you are.

Luckily I haven't run into this problem yet. My girlfriend is fine with the hobby, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I eased her into it over a course of several years.

I agree, as well. Chances are, one of those two issues has come to a head, and it's up to each of you to decide how to face it.

Being honest with each other is the key - are you really being too obsessive with the gaming/minis? Or is she/he really being too obsessive about the relationship? Nobody want's to be in the wrong, and it's natural for anyone to become defensive about something they love.

I gamed for a good 20 years or so before having a girlfriend who was so possessive that she did everything she could to get me to quit gaming, including the 'ultimatum'. So, I buckled and got rid of gaming for a couple years - and to this day I still regret doing it. I should have realized what was wrong, and tried to work through it with her, instead of caving in and selling off all my stuff (which I regret more than anything - had some damned nice Eldar and Nids).

Not surprisingly, that relationship didn't work out.

My wife now, completely supports what I do - even to the point of trying her hand at painting and stuff. The healthiness of our relationship encourages me to WANT to set aside the gaming to make plenty of time for her. Gaming isn't a 'refuge' from the relationship, like it becomes for some folks. Gaming is an enjoyable past-time, and that's all it is.

-Mort

chromedog wrote:When the wife and I hooked up, I made it clear that I had hobbies that I would not be giving up. I might cut back a little, but they would be staying. If she didn't like it, or couldn't accept that, then we wouldn't be staying together.

She said I was right.

I told her I would have my gaming days (so many per month) and she agreed to that, too.

I was showing her some stuff in a local store and she picked up the WHFB "fortified manorhouse" box - "can you build and paint this for me?" she askes me.

I'm holding an Imperial sector box in my hands at this point (which I would really like to have, but I only have enough money on me for one or the other - mine or hers). I tell her so.

"Put them both on my card, then" is her reply.

This is why I love my wife. She doesn't diss my hobby. She accepts it, and lets me have my "geek time". Those guys who have the hideos shrews who make them give up their hobbies get nothing from me but my pity. That's no way to live.

It is all about compromise, though.

LET THE WIFE WIN. WOOKIEES ONLY RIP YOUR ARMS OFF.

True words. She Who Must Be Obeyed even helped me run a tournament once.

Gitzbitah wrote:An evening with an appreciative wife is far more enjoyable than even the best night of gaming.

I disagree with this. If I want to try something new, lets say trying a two on one battle, all I need to do is type up a new army list and paint a few new miniatures.

Trying to get the SO to try something new is like trying to tie your shoes with snakes for laces.

I say the next time this ultimatum comes up, tell her that if she's tired of your miniatures, you're tired of her PMS. If she gives that up, you'll give up your games.

My better half absolutely hates gaming (she did paint a space marine once, to alleviate some boredom) and I asked her one day "do you think I'm nerdy/pathetic (insert adjective most appropriate to local slang of similar meaning) for painting/playing warhammer?". Her reply was "Yes, but that's one of the reasons I like you, because your different and don't feel the need to fit in."

Needless to say she is very tolerant of my hobby, and with minimal prompting, will often buy me kits for birthdays/xmas. So I think I may be set for life

I think, however, if I spent every penny I earned on my armies and did nothing towards the relationship, choosing to spend my time painting/gaming instead she may change her tune.

But there is absolutely no reason why in a worthwhile relationship one partner should have to give up a hobby based on the opinion of the other (unless there is a seriously valid reason e.g. one partner is fatally allergic to expanded polystyrene or something)

just my two (lowest denomination of your local currency)

Let's see.

My fiancee took a more practical approach to the whole "gaming" hobby.

I roleplay on the weekends with my friends [d&d, star wars, etc.]. So, she jumped head first into roleplay and is now the driving force in getting us off our lazy asses to roleplay.

Then, there's 40k. She got interested, painted a SM I had lying around and then my friend gave her about 1100pts of Eldar after she expressed an interest. Now, she's working on a Sisters o' Battle army.

Of course, none of this ever happened with the two previous chicks before her. Luckily, she's just as wierd as I am.

My wife enjoys buying stuff for my gaming. When I get home in the tail end of March, I will have a tyranid assault brood, a Emperor's fist tank company, and 3 stormlods waiting for me.

She says that gaming on it's worst day is cheaper than car racing, golf, boats, etc... Also, if she can't get ahold of me on my cell, I'm either in the garage or at my FLGS.

redstripe wrote:

Gitzbitah wrote:An evening with an appreciative wife is far more enjoyable than even the best night of gaming.

I disagree with this. If I want to try something new, lets say trying a two on one battle, all I need to do is type up a new army list and paint a few new miniatures.

Trying to get the SO to try something new is like trying to tie your shoes with snakes for laces.

I say the next time this ultimatum comes up, tell her that if she's tired of your miniatures, you're tired of her PMS. If she gives that up, you'll give up your games.

If something as silly as little plastic men start to affect my relationship with my wife, then I will trash them myself. I married her because I couldn't live without her, and would do anything to keep her. Amazingly, she feels the same way about me. Because of that, I seriously doubt it will ever come up, but if it did I would drop the hobby in a heartbeat. She's taken up RPGing for me, and I've moved my MMO playing to LOTRO for her. It's all about the nerdy give and take. Yes, you may love the hobby... but when is the last time it ever loved you back?

Also, I'm not sure you caught my meaning. When I said appreciative, it was meant to be an innuendo. I try to keep my wife in an appreciative mood as much as possible. Picking fights and sniping at your better half doesn't seem like a very good strategy for me. There really aren't any winners or losers in a marriage, since you're both on the same team.

My wife made the decision for me. I pretty much gave up on gaming (except for like 5 games of BFG) after I got married. Now that she's decided that we aren't going to stay married anymore, I've buried myself in gaming to avoid worrying. (Hence my recent flood of posts here, and the fact that I have a copy of AoBR coming from the Warstore. (Should be here today)

Bitch, my chaplain be tellin me you been cheatin for two years, ho! No git out my light source!

A very gangsta breakup because of 40k, brought to you by GES.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
gak, thread necro.

They way I've been feeling about gaming lately, I'd choose my wife/gf :(

Way to go.

My wife knows better than to give me that ultimatum. I've threatened to walk out the door for less and she got over it.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Way to go.

ooo Neato! who gets this?! is it available in a foil Hologram?

two_heads_talking wrote:If you are spending so much time working on your models, that your Gf/Wife has to remind you to do other things, it's you who deserve to be kicked to the curb.

it's a relationship, if you put more time into hobby, then you are having a relationship with the minis no?

It's a matter of moderation in all things. Too much booze, you get stupid. Too much nookey, you get stupid. Too much male friends over at the house, well, we won't touch that one. Too much hobby time, you get stupid.

See the point? If you are balancing things well enough, you have time for hobby, sex, GW/wife, beer, friends, etc. You obviously don't balance things well if she's poking you saying, "Hey, take a look at these for a while ..."

This. Stop waisting your entire life on a game. Spend some time with your gf/wife....

Because it's impossible to have someone upset with you without justification?

Considering that the opening post is a hypothetical situation that doesn't mention anything besides recieving an ultimatum, I don't think assuming that you've done something wrong is warranted. The fact that it's a hypothetical scenario is reason enough.

It's a game. Since when does that outway the woman (or man for that matter) you love, or the priorities you have in real life? Sure, the hobby is fun, but it's exactly that. A hobby.

So when you get married you should shed your old life and personality and let your wife reshape you as she sees fit?

I still think a woman worth marrying wouldn't give you an ultimatum in the first place. You disagree? I'd like to know what she saw in me in the first place if she didn't like me or my hobbies.

Of course if you're legitimately spending too much time on it then by all means, an addiction is an addiction. But for some girls an hour or two of painting every day or every other day would be "too much" if they just flat out hated the hobby because it was too "nerdy" and it embarrassed her.

Quote from an airsoft forum I frequent:

"A few months ago she told me to choose between airsofting and her. Now I'm a super-moderator."

She doesn't play any more but knows how the hobby is and how some people react to new stuff coming out that is essential to their army. Then again the hobby doesn't dominate me as badly as it used to back in the day.