As I walked home with my dog not ten minutes ago, I was accosted by a group of the (no doubt inbred) bogan lads down the road. You know, the kind who wear beanies, dark hoodies, and smoke openly. At first I thought I could ignore the idiots, but oh no, they were insistent. They started shoving me and my dog around (she's only a smallish whippet) and one of them punched me in the head.

I was strongly considering turning around and belting the guy who hit me, but I'm not physically very strong. Now, I've gotten into a fair few fights at school (it's unavoidable considering the amount of gak I get from people), but I know when the odds are against me. There were 3 boys and 2 girls. I'd say they were around 12-15 years old at the most. That might seem harmless, but these kids are horrible. So, I let forth a torrent of explicit language mostly associated with who and what gave birth to them as well as their sexual preferences and what they should eat.


I started walking off again, and they just threw empty threats and insults and me as I walked back up the street to my house.

I've copped a bit of gak from these kids before, and they were smoking (in public, no less!), so I'm thinking it's time I called my friends in the blue uniforms. Unfortunately, it's dark, so I didn't see what the address was, and they're from a few different houses on that segment of the street.

Suggestions for dealing with these people?

I am in the same boat buddy,if I caught more gak from anyone I would be considered a public toilet.

I know the type,big,well muscled,steriod junkies whom have three less IQ points than a parrot.Belive me I know all to well,my advice,just let it be for now if gak like that happens again,I would suggeast attending self defense classes.Really I have nothing to give you here I get beat up so much and had to deal with the same type of so many times I have become a bit numb about it.

I am *this close* to getting in the habit of taking my handgun with my under my coat. I don't care if they're only in their only teens, they need to learn that when you feth with an armed man, you get a lump of metal in your foot.

The gun won't help and plus the police could then charge you with somethig like assualt with a deadly weapon.

I got trouble from Chavs, literally mugged a couple of times down my road. London's a dangerous place. Some lad on his bike tried to jack my Laptop bag that I had on my shoulder, going back down my road. The thing was, I was next to a wall, so I put my back up against it, and using the extra leverage, just pushed his bike right over. I actually had to stop for breath while laughing, as I kicked his stomach in.

That, or get an elder cousin/relative to roll up in a car, tunes blaring, windows down. They should just take on the whole "Eyy man, I got something that'a blow yo' mind." Mehicanos approach, maybe whip out your gun and just hold it near them.

Fun fun fun!

sA

These aren't roidraging kids. These are smoking, binge-drinking, pot-smoking kids.

Called the police. They should be here soon to take a statement.

Well I think thats the right thing to do.Hope they listen to you instead of laughing it off or something.

Cheese Elemental wrote:These aren't roidraging kids. These are smoking, binge-drinking, pot-smoking kids.

Called the police. They should be here soon to take a statement.

I know the sort.

But, the police? I don't know about yours, but the Met here won't do anything. I mean, they're kids, are the cops going to tell their parents or what? It's a sticky situation.

sA

Just spoke with the bobbies. Nice blokes, if a bit bald for my taste.

They've taken a statement, they think they know who these kids are, and they're dropping the hammer on their parents.

I love dispensing indiscriminate justice.

@cheese elemental:


Its dangerous to provoke them and walk away ( you cant see what they'll do next )

Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

Uh, I didn't provoke them. They started it.

Remember, I'm only 15 and I've shot someone in the foot (albiet under desperate circumstances, he was a burglar). I can do it again.

Just to be sure, I'm going to put land mines on the driveway, board the doors and windows, put a line of barbed wire around the lawn, put a .50 caliber machinegun at each window, and set up surface-to-surface missile racks on the roof.

LunaHound wrote:Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

...and that's why we love Luna.

sA

smiling Assassin wrote:

LunaHound wrote:Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

...and that's why we love Luna.

sA

Just saying! its better then shooting someone with a gun!

Where is it legal for a 15 year old to carry a handgun? Not that I wouldn't laugh at the thought of their faces after you'd plugged one of them.

Go for pods. Damned good vicious stomping on the family jewels and they will soon leave you alone.

Remember folks, chavs are chavs in any country because nobody has ever stomped on them to knock them back down.

So vicious bout of violence, then...LEG IT! Just in case. Either way, you have proved yourself a harder target, thus it is likely they will now ignore you.

warpcrafter wrote:Where is it legal for a 15 year old to carry a handgun? Not that I wouldn't laugh at the thought of their faces after you'd plugged one of them.

I have a sports shooting license. You only have to be 13 here to get one.

Speaking of faces and what people do when you shoot them, this burglar was not pleased. I felt really bad after shooting him in the foot. He was crying and bleeding and thought I was about to blow his brains out.

As to smashing a man's Pride and Joy, I don't have a problem with that, but my legs can't go very high in my trousers. I can kick to face level when I'm wearing my pajamas though.

Why doesnt this sort of thing ever happen to me....

Oh yea, I'm 6'2" and actually a cop.

Sorry I'm never around when you need me....!

You're not a cop, you're a prison deputy.

...by the way, my advice to you...

Pepper spray is a beautiful thing. It's not assault with a deadly weapon and they'll WISH you would've simply shot them with a gun.

Cheese Elemental wrote:
As to smashing a man's Pride and Joy, I don't have a problem with that, but my legs can't go very high in my trousers. I can kick to face level when I'm wearing my pajamas though.

But i think thats like 100% expected place to cover and protect ( their balls )

So yes when they protect their balls, stomp your foot heels into their exposed pelvic area.
They wont be able stand straight on both leg needless to say to chase you or do anything else.

Cheese Elemental wrote:You're not a cop, you're a prison deputy.

You're right, I have MORE power than a simple cop. I'm a SHERIFF'S DEPUTY. Sheriff's have power throughout the state rather than within the city limits. Full arrest powers baby.

I briefly discussed that with my mother. She said;

My mother wrote:I'm just worried that you'd abuse it. You know if you're not careful with it, you can blind someone permanently and you might use too much. I'll buy you some if it keeps going.

I'm tempted to go all rebel like my sister now.

Oh you'd be surprised Luna.

Most Chavs are fond of mindless posturing in my experience. And because so few people have ever put them in their place, they don't expect it.

Failing that, a sideways kick at the goons kneecap is good for a laugh. see them tumble! THEN go for the pills.

A fair fight is a fools fight, and as long as you can walk away still being pretty, I think you can count it as a win.

And speaking of posture....my mate Ninja Chris reccomends the following stance if you are worried things are about to turn nasty. Stand with you hands up and out at a sort of 'ten to two' on the clock, with palms facing outwards. This is a gloriously passive posture, but one which allows you to clench into a fist and get a sneaky strike should things go ill. Is also good for balance should you try to dodge their blow.

For something of a pacifist, I know how to defend myself pretty well. But much like Deadshane, I find being 6'3" and solidly built tends to work wonders for preventing people starting on you in the first pace, so I've never had a chance to put any of this into practice besides chinning my brother.

AH yes, whip out a gun, that should fix everything.

It's odd that I'm now endorsing shooting people after arguing about how bad America's gun laws are.

Cheese Elemental wrote:It's odd that I'm now endorsing shooting people after arguing about how bad America's gun laws are.

Its the adrenaline talking , dont let it get to your head.

Take a long hot bath and relax >.>

Guns are bad

I don't have time for a bath! Got to be in bed by ten, and it's already eight!

Why would you want a bath? You can't fondle yourself in the bath.

Cheese Elemental wrote:I don't have time for a bath! Got to be in bed by ten, and it's already eight!

Why would you want a bath? You can't fondle yourself in the bath.

Why would it be different then a shower? you still have same water till the bath tub is filled?

(unless your shower is 100% shower with no bathtub attached ) then i dunno.

I have a seperate shower cubicle. It has lots of room for my... utilities.

On-topic, I slunk down the road for a minute (it's only about a minute's walking), and saw *two* cop cars outside the bad houses. Yay. I should buy a new bike so I can do drive-bys with molotov cocktails.

And so I can zip past them easily. Yeah. That's all.

LunaHound wrote:
Guns are bad

Especially when they are used to safeguard lives of the innocent.

Help to defend your home and family.

Act as a deterrent to crime.


Actually, blanket statements are worse than guns.

I think Guns depend entirely upon the situation. As Deadshane helpfully illustrated, there are times when having one would be distinctly advantageous, but I would wager in most situations they risk making things worse.

Guns are tools.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.
........................

Used correctly, safe, useful, strengthening.

Incorrectly, dangerous, destructive, horrifying.

...much like any chainsaw, sledgehammer, buldozer or whatever.

Any claim that a gun is anything more than a tool or simple implement is quite frankly...wrong and/or ignorant. (ignorant meant not as a slight but actual ignorance of a gun's use and care)

True enough. Triggers require intention etc.

Put my thoughts down entirely to cultural differences. We're not terribly fond of Bangsticks in the UK, so generally see their use as an over reaction to *most* situations. Not saying this is a superior view, just helping to illustrate probably the largest cultural difference between the UK and US.

We'll just plug a powerdrill through your kneecaps.

Oh, that's the IRA.

Well we'll beat you to a pulp with broken bottles. Who needs 9mm rounds, when we've got rounds of Beer glasses!

sA

Guns get you into trouble very quickly, avoid using one.

if they are like the usual chavs over here then most of the time you can just laugh in thier face, they talk alot but dont really do much.

police over here are about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

if you dont like fighting then i would go with the whole spray idea

if you dont mind a good scrap now and then your better of catching up with each of them when they are on thier own.
as a group they are allways irritating, on thier own they tend to run away most of the time.

That gak happens to me too
i jusr us old english words and when there confused i run

Martial Arts.

I know two friends who used to get picked on at school and college age, learning a martial art gave them confidence plus calm and healthy options to really feth up any tool that gave them grief.

Whilst one of those friends learnt ninjitsu, karate and kickboxing, the other learnt Wing Chun and it's this one I'd recommend based on what I've seen in action, it seems the most practical in terms of being in those close and confined combat situations where you don't have the room or time to perform amazing kicks and throws.

Self defence IMO is a far better and far more legal option than carrying a weapon as you might be tempted to do following an attack against you.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Go for pods. Damned good vicious stomping on the family jewels and they will soon leave you alone.

Remember folks, chavs are chavs in any country because nobody has ever stomped on them to knock them back down.

So vicious bout of violence, then...LEG IT! Just in case. Either way, you have proved yourself a harder target, thus it is likely they will now ignore you.

grots right. nard assault for the win. Second target is eyes, knees, and back of the head. Or just get an American bull terrier. They will "sort out" the situation in a right proper manner as you limeys would say.

Do you have access to pepper spray English? That would be most ideal in this circumstance, now that i think about it.

stompas idea of taking up a self defence class seems like a good idea
and it would help alot when it comes to boosting your confidence.


or, a few tricks that work well:


1: as said allready, a well placed kick to the nuts puts anyone on thier knees in pain

2: elbows are solid.
simply swing like your going to punch someone, make it slightly shorter so your fist does not connect with them, but instead bring your elbow forward instead.
hitting them square in the nose with your elbow tends to hurt alot, and more often than not it will break someones nose.

3: ok, yes, this is very chavvy and a cheapshot, but it works.
headbut them.
aim for the bridge of the nose, make sure its just above your forhead that hits them (otherwise you will get hurt as the top of your head / face are not as solid.



Note: if you are going to hit someone in the nose allways make sure your swinging down onto the nose, it will break and hurt alot, but its safe.
if your swinging up at them (typical uppercut) you stand a chance of killing them via the nose to brain.

And I'll just add one thing from my own experiences in these situations.

Identify the leader.

If your going to have to fight and have run out of room for getting away, Take down the leader first and do it royally, don't get distracted onto other targets, just beat him shitless, maul him into the ground and vent all your rage and hate on him, it will scare the others and give you a good chance to break them up.

stompa made a point i missed here.


easy enough to pick him out, he is usually the one who is shouting the most and casing all the trouble, the others are just sheep.

It also helps to act crazy when in public. Not the Monty Python hopping around gibbering making weird faces, that sort of quite Anthony Perkins crazy that might boil over into horrifying destruction crazy. Most times, I do it pretty good, unless my arthritis is acting up, then I more resemble Marty Feldman's performance of Igor from Young Frankenstein. A quiet person who suddenly stars shouting is much more scary than a flashy jackass who is loud all the time.

Don't escalate the situation, you're gonna get stabbed.

Cattle prod... You know, the very high voltage type . Those 'orrible little oiks won't like that :0

First Rule, Get friends, Have a crowd you hang out with, loyal buddies who will have your back. Here in the U.S.A, It was called having a crew. The only protections we had back in the 80's and early 90's from gamgs were each other. The fighting was usually brutal but usually the worst scum were run out and guys wearing Gang colors were delt with. The cops would never come, and the Media always called it gang on gang violence. you need a crew, so these punks will know that if they mess with you, your boys will be around. A good beat down will send them running with thier tails between the legs.

Get you some homeboys, good friends, what ever you want to call them, there is power in numbers.

Kill them.

Help society by ridding their filth from the gene pool. Then, light their parents on fire as failures to raise a person in modern society, and ensure they cannot breed again.

Go home, have a Coke. Good evening's worth of work.

Mattlov wrote:Kill them.

Help society by ridding their filth from the gene pool. Then, light their parents on fire as failures to raise a person in modern society, and ensure they cannot breed again.

Go home, have a Coke. Good evening's worth of work.

This message endorsed by the Francis David Castle Foundation.

(Francis David Castle aka The Punisher)

I would have clocked the kid in the head.

I am *this close* to getting in the habit of taking my handgun with my under my coat. I don't care if they're only in their only teens, they need to learn that when you feth with an armed man, you get a lump of metal in your foot.

Yes, carry the gun to shoot teenagers. Good call.

Any claim that a gun is anything more than a tool or simple implement is quite frankly...wrong and/or ignorant. (ignorant meant not as a slight but actual ignorance of a gun's use and care)

Except weapons are not tools except in the barest sense of the word, and have no practical application outside of violence.

The thing is, in britain if you beat up one of the chavs and the rest ran away, a few weeks/months later when they next see you,
you could be facing twenty people that aren't afraid to beat you cackless.

Cheese Elemental wrote:I am *this close* to getting in the habit of taking my handgun with my under my coat. I don't care if they're only in their only teens, they need to learn that when you feth with an armed man, you get a lump of metal in your foot.

Dude, don't even do it. The only reason to carry a gun is if you intend to use it. If you are going to use it as a deterrent, you'll just end up dead, or really hurt. Better to just avoid these guys. You are going to run into bullies your whole life. Just part of the great pleasure of living. Some people will beat you up with words, others will do it phsically. Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches. Just think of it this way, you'll move on with your life, and they'll probably still be hanging on the corner, thinking that they are cool because as a group they can beat up and push around other people. Karma usually comes back to bite those types. No matter how tough you are, there is always some tougher than you are.

You can always hire ninja assassins or pirates. Somali pirates are real cheap these days.

Go the Cartman (from South Park) route. Kill their parents and make chili from their remains, then trick the kids into eating it. [/sarcasm off]

ShumaGorath wrote:

Except weapons are not tools except in the barest sense of the word, and have no practical application outside of violence.

I once saw a documentary of a man who used a .22 rifle to shoot a portrait of Native Americans on sheet metal.

In the name of 'Know Your Foe' I present my potted guide to the three to watch for.

In any group of Chavs/Neds/Bogans/Pikies/spankers, there are usually three easily identifiable members amongst the assorted flotsam and jetsam of a soceity scared of it's own shadow.

1. The Big Goon. Most likely the first of the Gang to have hit puberty. Typically of low intelligence, and as such fairly slow witted. Generally speaking they are more for show against rival gangs of Pikies. Very much unlikely to have ever been chinned before, so often goes down like a lead balloon when you shatter that glass jaw (metaphorically speaking! Self Defense only extends so far!)

2. The Wee Cheeky One. Ah, the runt of the litter. Like the Big Goon, unaccustomed to having his arse thoroughly kicked, as it's just not cricket to skelp the little turd. Usually spotted giving the most verbal and then ducking away when fists start flying.

3. The Leader. Possibly the most dangerous. Easily spotted in Britain by the following 'rank emlbems'. a) Cap at a jauntier angle than his fellows b) Cap worn surprisingly high on his noggin c) More bits of his eyebrows shaved off (no, really. They actually do this!). A mix of brains and brawn, which he has used to subjugate the other members of his 'crew'. As ever, rarely much to worry about in the provincial towns. Bit too addicted to the bollocks Gangsta lifestyle sadly exported by the US music industry. Usually provides a bloody good laugh when reduced to tears or threats of getting his dad on you once knacked, brayed and hoofed.

Martial Arts are good to a point, and that point is generally street fighting. They revolve around rules and stances which all to quickly go out the window. However knowing such techniques gives people more confidence. The more confident you appear, the less likely it is the Chavs (utter cowards by their nature) will pick on you. I'm a 6'3" Goth who walks through one of the rougher estates in my area on a more or less daily basis, and I've been hassled precisely once. Turned on my heel, face down to his level and asked, in not so eloquent terms 'Mayhap sir would care to repeat his statement to my physogimy, you cheeky petitie vagina. No, I suspected one might be reticent in that regard' Absolutely no bother since! And I go out in long skirts and flouncy shirts. If they'll leave me alone, they'll leave anyone alone!

Just utilize Grotsnik's excellent carriage service. Safety and limousine ride all in one. Who could ask for more?

Grotsnik. Pounding haggis and "petite chavs" since 1995.

Frazzled wrote:Grotsnik. Pounding haggis and "petite chavs" since 1995.

So that's what they call it over there........
I had heard it called beating the bishop or pounding the clown, but petite chavs is pretty different......

I've always preferred 'Knocking the Popes Cap off' meself!

Did you not hear me? I'm only about 5"4. Add that to the fact that I'm a bit overweight, slow, and and weak, I don't fare too well in fights. Not when there's two people holding me in place and a third is beating me senseless.

I'm actually really scared now. These guys aren't the stupid chavs you see, they're really brutal kids. You wouldn't believe what you hear; kids like this actually stab people. They beat them with crowbars and in many cases, people die.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Did you not hear me? I'm only about 5"4. Add that to the fact that I'm a bit overweight, slow, and and weak, I don't fare too well in fights. Not when there's two people holding me in place and a third is beating me senseless.

I'm actually really scared now. These guys aren't the stupid chavs you see, they're really brutal kids. You wouldn't believe what you hear; kids like this actually stab people. They beat them with crowbars and in many cases, people die.

In that case, carry one of those voice recorders, and turn it on in your pocket when ever you bump into them.
and hopefully you can use that as evidence and send them to court

Whilst one of those friends learnt ninjitsu, karate and kickboxing, the other learnt Wing Chun and it's this one I'd recommend based on what I've seen in action, it seems the most practical in terms of being in those close and confined combat situations where you don't have the room or time to perform amazing kicks and throws.

You should look up Krav Maga. Its a close quarters fighting style developed by the Israeli army and its all about fighting dirty. It was pretty much made for street fighting.

Dude, if they're going to kill you with a crowbar, you do need a gun, pepper spray, taser, or something else dangerous. Even take a gun and something else, use the gun only if it looks like you're in mortal danger and use, say, pepper spray if it looks like that's all you need.

Don't try and use "martial arts" or "kick them in the balls" on three armed, physically stronger people, there's a good chance of you ending up seriously hurt. And a pretty small chance of them ending seriously hurt, to be honest.

Try and stay out of their way, but make it clear it's in their best interest to stay out of yours.

Ratbarf wrote:You should look up Krav Maga. Its a close quarters fighting style developed by the Israeli army and its all about fighting dirty. It was pretty much made for street fighting.

Judo might be good too, considering his height.

smiling Assassin wrote:

LunaHound wrote:Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

...and that's why we love Luna.

sA

That, and because she's one of 3 female users on Dakka and we know Roze is married

Don't fight. Fighting techniques only work after years of practice. If you have to think about the moves you are going to use in a fight, your on the ground wondering what happened. Best advice you can take is stay away from them. If you have to walk further to get home, do it. You don't sound like someone who wants to fight. So don't. Just avoid it.

ixlar wrote:Don't fight. Fighting techniques only work after years of practice. If you have to think about the moves you are going to use in a fight, your on the ground wondering what happened. Best advice you can take is stay away from them. If you have to walk further to get home, do it. You don't sound like someone who wants to fight. So don't. Just avoid it.

I think ixlar is right . Self defence rarely work if your not in the right mindset (lack of confidence or experience will make you moves slow and obviouse *you'll be in trouble )

But then again , im the type that goes ballistic and chases a boy into men's change room ( ran out due to the people inside going wtf?? ) took a shampoo bottle
and threw it into the change room ( and hit the guy on the head woot! )

Yeah, when I was younger, I never backed down. But I was 6'1" when I was 12. So, I had a lot of muscle to backup my youthful ignorance. But you really gotta want to brawl to succeed.

Woot! Luna is crazy!

Luna is a girl? I just thought he was a japanese guy from BC.

Deadshane1 wrote:...by the way, my advice to you...

Pepper spray is a beautiful thing. It's not assault with a deadly weapon and they'll WISH you would've simply shot them with a gun.

You can be indiscrimante with mace. Old lady moving slowly? Yep. Bogans? Yup. Family? Indeed. Me? I like pepper, but pepper spray doesn't actually taste like pepper. .
If you get it in their noise and mouth... well, my dad has this to sya from his long ago time at bootcamp. It burns.

Pepper Spray FTW, or go buy yourself an asp. Its an extendable stick with a steel ball on the end. so when you hit someone with it all the force is directed to a very small area. Its like a night stick on steroids. Or get a tazer and taze the gak outta them.

Ratbarf wrote:Luna is a girl? I just thought he was a japanese guy from BC.

well ratbarf, this would be the 2nd or 3rd time answering you the same question.

Im girl , i thought in a forum gender shouldnt matter anyways.
Until , it gets some what agitating when people start refering me as an "it" , that or people think im a gay boy.

So i just kept quiet , because i get even more agitating messages from people that hates me ( there are many people that hate me )
saying me making a deal of what gender i am = making drama. ( for example this reply ... )

So there you go .

And no im not Japanese , My grandma is Japanese ( so unless you consider me 25%? then i dunno )

*edit thats a Canadian flag, yes i have people thinking thats a Japanese flag ( im serious )

Asps are only for police officers around here.

Sorry Luna, I thought you were a guy because I beleived you posted a pic of yourself and it was a dude. But in retrospect that may have been a different person.

LunaHound wrote:Guns are bad

And getting three big dudes to...let's say...pin the baddies to the wall while you beat the gak out of them, isn't?

Just saying!

Nofasse 'Eadhunta wrote:

LunaHound wrote:Guns are bad

And getting three big dudes to...let's say...pin the baddies to the wall while you beat the gak out of them, isn't?

Just saying!

Nope. Guns are politically incorrect, whereas hired help makes it a "gang fight", which is cool.

I think pepper spray is the best option. If it happens again, three quick bursts and run like hell.

You should dual wield the pepper spray.

Is pepper spray flammable? I was thinking of making a homebrewed flamethrower.

Hmm, don't know. You could use hair spray. I think that'd probably hurt if you got a bunch in your eyes anyway.

Or, how about you make a bomb vest, and threaten the bogans and hoons with the detonator?

Why yes, looking and acting like a terrorist is going to solve my problems.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Why yes, looking and acting like a terrorist is going to solve my problems.

It would. We just didnt mention about it creating new ones.

Come on, it'll work great.

"Hey mate, wez a much uv bogans ere"*

"I AM A BOMB!"

"Wut er ya talkin bot?"

"I'LL KILL US ALL! I'M SERIOUS! I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR! I AM GOD'S JUDGEMENT!"

* I don't know what a bogan sounds like. :(

Your false illiteracy arouses me.

I wont be surprised if....

I'd like to think taht if i was in that situation i could attack em and win the assault. Then chase them, yelling war crys (BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! KILL! MAIM! BURN! WAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE) and hopefully catch one and beat him into submission. Extra points if it's the leader. From then on whenever you see them give em a lethal look, like you're daring them to provoke you again. That being said, it's probably a really, really bad idea.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Your false illiteracy arouses me.

Damn. I knew my sexiness would seep through the internet one day...

LunaHound wrote:
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OH SHI

I'm more worried that they've got a Truly Immovable R-

CLANG

WHAT THE feth WAS THAT?

Cheese Elemental wrote:I'm more worried that they've got a Truly Immovable R-

CLANG

WHAT THE feth WAS THAT?

Kharn. Run.

I think it's probably the Truly Immovable Rod.

Cheese Elemental wrote:I think it's probably the Truly Immovable Rod.

I hand't known about that. Thank you for enlightening me and not flaming my noobishness

So did the police deal with the buggers?

Sort of.

Cheese Elemental wrote:. Add that to the fact that I'm a bit overweight, slow, and and weak, I don't fare too well in fights.

You're posting on a website mainly devoted to warhammer.Certain things we take as self evident truths.

Hope it all works out for you though.

Let me guess when they came to the house no one knew anything and acted all innocent.The police didn't do anything and you were given a fine for calling em when you didn't need them.

t-ball bats seem fairly small and portable, one could probably trim it down a bit more to fit inside a coat.

not sure what else to recommend, never really had people mess with me much, and when people have, i've tended to start swinging with whatever i have on hand

Ghost in the Darkness wrote:Pepper Spray FTW, or go buy yourself an asp. Its an extendable stick with a steel ball on the end. so when you hit someone with it all the force is directed to a very small area. Its like a night stick on steroids. Or get a tazer and taze the gak outta them.

Pepper spray is the cheapest. Get a decent sized one. It will also be effectuive against large dogs (he said he had a little mutt-dogs need safety too).

You can spray them and leave or spray them and beat them with handy objects until they are all in the hospital or the morgue. Either works.

Can we get Pepper Spray in the UK?

sA

LunaHound wrote:Just saying! its better then shooting someone with a gun!

Unless you shoot them in those spots with a gun!

Luna, you're a genius! I could shoot you... kiss you... meant kiss. Conclusion: Not shoot.

In the United Kingdom, "Any weapon of whatever description designed or adapted for the discharge of any noxious liquid, gas or other thing" is a Prohibited Weapon, under S.5 of The Firearms Act 1968. The same act covers other prohibited weapons such as automatic firearms and rocket launchers, all of which can only be possessed by permission of the Home Secretary. Although legal for police officers, recent debates have arisen whether such a weapon should be legal for civilians as means of defensive purposes only. At present a number of legal alternative dye sprays are sold in the UK which have the effect of temporarily blinding the attacker but do not constitute noxious substances and so do not contravene this act.

So no. Thye can and have prosecuted people for having them.

That said... if you happen to be carrying a lighter and a can of deodrant....

WHAT ABOUT DEFENSIVE EQUIPMENT?

Sprays: self-defence items such as mace, pepper spray or CS gas are illegal in Britain.


Anyone carrying such a spray could be charged with possession of an offensive weapon. But police say that they have heard of women carrying hairspray in their bags as a defence.


Rape alarms: police do recommend these devices, which emit an ear-splitting blast of sound to deter muggers and attract attention.

linky

Why the hell are we such softies over here! I think our streets could do with a few more packing vigilantes. (Or not?)

sA

smiling Assassin wrote:Why the hell are we such softies over here! I think our streets could do with a few more packing vigilantes. (Or not?)

sA

Because you never know if the people you shot are in a gang. So unless you kill every single on of the trouble maker
or give them some magic amnesia , they'll come back next time and kill you. ( thus why i said solving this with a gun isnt so good )

Bah! They don't sound as tough as the sharks with machineguns I beat up last week. Did I tell you I'm 7 foot tall?

George Spiggott wrote:Bah! They don't sound as tough as the sharks with machineguns I beat up last week. Did I tell you I'm 7 foot tall?

Vid or it never happened.

sA

Sorry. I was there the dash board cam recorded everything. Unfortunately it got wet with salt water splashing off the sharks as Spiggott grabbed one shark by the tail and used it as flail with snapping jaws. Righteously awesome, too bad we all can't see it.

Darn!!!!!

I would so have liked to have seen that the only thing cooler would have been,Frazzled vs the Nazi Raptors.

I believe Mr. Spiggott.

You can see the shark he fought here.

He ripped its throat out with his teeth.

I'm just in awe. I...I can't top someone who does a movie where a shark leaps out of the water and attacks a flying 747. Wow.

(slinks away in shame)

What can compete with a film that "stars" both Lorenzo Lamas AND Debbie Gibson ?

Nothing*.

Nothing of this earth anyway...









* May not be true.

I do some part-time work as a chef and often have to carry my equipment home with me from work, at night, to scary parts of Manchester. Clearly it would take for too long for me to unlock my knife box to retrieve one in case of attack, and impractical to be carrying one of them in my jacket. There is, however, one kitchen implement that can be carried freely in my pocket and won't break the law.
The Blowtorch.
I have never had to use this (and really wouldn't want to either) but i can just imagine the chavs faces if someone pulled one of these from their pocket. If someone gets in your face too much, or pulls a blade, you can melt their face with chemical fire.

I've only had problems with chavs once before. There mindset is clinically insane. Your going somewhere in life so I'll beat you up. One of them ran at me with something hard, I sent a sidekick into it and it flew out of his hand and hit one of his cronies in the face. If your going to learn a martial art I'd suggest Tang soo Do Moo duk Wan.

model collector wrote:I've only had problems with chavs once before. There mindset is clinically insane. Your going somewhere in life so I'll beat you up. One of them ran at me with something hard, I sent a sidekick into it and it flew out of his hand and hit one of his cronies in the face. If your going to learn a martial art I'd suggest Tang soo Do Moo duk Wan.

I'd suggest the tau of .45ACP myself, but thats personal preference.

reds8n wrote:What can compete with a film that "stars" both Lorenzo Lamas AND Debbie Gibson ?

The Debbie Gibson or another one?

Deff Dread red Edition wrote:The gun won't help and plus the police could then charge you with somethig like assualt with a deadly weapon.

QFT

once in jail, you will have the chance to be "bullied" by criminal...

leave the gun at home.

AS far as martial arts go, i'd only ever recommend brazilian ju-jitsu. It's basically wrestling with an emphasis on bone-breaking. If someone is going to try to kick your head in, you have to do the same back.

Failing that, run away. Scattering calthrops behind you ftw.

Do as Camoron says and 'hug a hoody'.
Seriously though I would suggest changing the way you walk. Your walk gives away a lot about you. It shows how confident you are, how phsically able you are and your role in society.It is subconciously recognised by allmost everyone you meet.
Put your shoulders back and set them wide, keep your head up and your walk apears more confident. You should try to adopt a different persona to what you really are.
I am speaking as a AmDram though but its what works for me.

Frazzled wrote:

model collector wrote:I've only had problems with chavs once before. There mindset is clinically insane. Your going somewhere in life so I'll beat you up. One of them ran at me with something hard, I sent a sidekick into it and it flew out of his hand and hit one of his cronies in the face. If your going to learn a martial art I'd suggest Tang soo Do Moo duk Wan.

I'd suggest the tau of .45ACP myself, but thats personal preference.

Why not go all in? .44 magnum. Feeling lucky, punk? Well, do ya?

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

model collector wrote:I've only had problems with chavs once before. There mindset is clinically insane. Your going somewhere in life so I'll beat you up. One of them ran at me with something hard, I sent a sidekick into it and it flew out of his hand and hit one of his cronies in the face. If your going to learn a martial art I'd suggest Tang soo Do Moo duk Wan.

I'd suggest the tau of .45ACP myself, but thats personal preference.

Why not go all in? .44 magnum. Feeling lucky, punk? Well, do ya?

No, you pretty much need a trench coat for a .44, and the recoil is b...Oh wait you're not being serious

Epic gun accident.

And there is a .44 in the movie in the scene before this one.

WRONGGGG!!! That was a .357 (I think, wait I could be wrong).

Frazzled wrote:WRONGGGG!!! That was a .357 (I think, wait I could be wrong).

Here's what I found.

It's big. It's bulky. It's heavy, impractical, and loud. It looks really, really cool. Sometimes, it's got a nickel finish, or better yet, gold. It's the Hand Cannon.

Which type of gun fills this role varies by time period. Back in the '70s it was a .357 or .44 Magnum revolver, like the Colt Python. Eventually, automatics firing the same rounds were introduced. But the modern successor to the crown of most ridiculously oversized handgun is the Israeli Military Industries Desert Eagle in .50 Action Express. Bigger and more powerful handguns exist, but they don't have the same media presence and generally look much less cool. And if bullets just don't cut it, they can always use the M79 grenade launcher, which can be (clumsily) fired one-handed.

"See, your gun says r-e-p-l-i-c-a on the side. My gun says Desert Eagle Five-OH."

Bullet head, Snatch.

Frazzled wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

model collector wrote:I've only had problems with chavs once before. There mindset is clinically insane. Your going somewhere in life so I'll beat you up. One of them ran at me with something hard, I sent a sidekick into it and it flew out of his hand and hit one of his cronies in the face. If your going to learn a martial art I'd suggest Tang soo Do Moo duk Wan.

I'd suggest the tau of .45ACP myself, but thats personal preference.

Why not go all in? .44 magnum. Feeling lucky, punk? Well, do ya?

No, you pretty much need a trench coat for a .44, and the recoil is b...Oh wait you're not being serious

I am being serious. Who said anything about concealing it. Intimidation factor right there shoots up 5-600% (Dirty harry line reference five!). If they still want to mess... self defense bitches. .

"why yes officer. I did shoot him. But only after he tried to hurt me."

Pepper spray is illegal for most citizens to own in Oz (depending a lot on state variances - but it's a federal thing).

deodorant and ciggie lighters are not.
Neither are Water Dispersal (like, WD40) spray and a lighter.

Those retractable clubs with a weighted end? Yep, them's illegal too.

So do all of these restrictions stop the bad guys carrying/using them? Nope. They's criminals, innit? They don't follow the laws anyway.

Sporting licences are only a carry permit (not use) and protect the owner/carrier while transporting to/from their place of shooting it and use while there (and even minor breaches of it result in cancellation of the licence - permanently.)

Are chair legs illegal in Austrailia. I mean, you could just sya you were bringing it to the carpenter to get it fixed, right?

I am sorry but I will have to take issue with the statement "guns are bad" People who wield them for unlawful purposes are bad. Not the guns.

well, im in oz, and in my opinion we live in an extremely controlled nanny state, from being able to defend yourself to the media you are allowed to experience as an 18 year old (im not exactly pleased with the government at the moment)

anyway, to give some prefix, im 18, around 5'9, have some muscle and am a black belt in karate, add to that much more research into martial arts and fighting etc. that being said, i still feel threatened at times, with 6'6 monsters calling me a [see forum posting rules] while amongst their friends.

at any rate, i have never been in a fight, a proper one at least, where are these things held? but in honesty, it is hard to defend yourself in this country especially, because we are legally allowed no defensive weapons (technically my hands are registered weapons, not even kidding :S) and the thugs likely to attack you are all large and roam in large packs..just makes me want to want to carry my katana around, imo a sword is a very very effective deterrent to violence, at least in a no gun society, as they represent a far more brutal potential for damage than a gun and they are big and physical presence

Alas, here in the states it is frowned upon to walk around with a sword strapped to your belt, but if it wasn't, I would definitely go out and get me a big fething broadsword! But luckily I live in an area where I do not have worry about such things.

A threadomancy most foul.

Well atleast if I rember rightly(sorry if it isn't).

Does anyone really care about threadromancy in the OT section? I mean seriously.

Oh wait, this is the old thread bitching about punks and not being able to defend oneself in Australia. My bad.

No one has yet answered my question. Are chair legs legal to carry around?

Yes.

Although it is kinda weird having to explain to the police why you are carrying a chair while out for a walk.

Of course, FINDING a chair while you are out for a walk, and then using it as an impromptu weapon to defend yourself whilst set upon by a gang of ne'er-do-wells, is a different matter.

chromedog wrote:Yes.

Although it is kinda weird having to explain to the police why you are carrying a chair while out for a walk.

Of course, FINDING a chair while you are out for a walk, and then using it as an impromptu weapon to defend yourself whilst set upon by a gang of ne'er-do-wells, is a different matter.

Just sya you were taking the chair leg to the carpenters to get reapired.



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