A brief message from your friendly neighbourhood angsty Christian teen...

I fething HATE TWILIGHT!



Honestly, my friend dragged me along to a 'Good ol' Stephanie Meyer' party, and I was utterly disgusted at what I saw. Dozens of screaming teenage girls frothing over that crappy series of... well, I hesitate to call them novels. They were all dressed as vampires, or wearing dance dresses, or wearing 'I love Edward' t-shirts. Suffice to say I suffered a bout of nerdrage and left.

I can't believe a Mormon wrote that crap! The Mormons I know are all great people who also hate Twilight and its piss-poor depiction of teenage love. This series is nothing more than an excuse for eyelid-batting girls to shriek and sigh over a very badly written quartet.

I mean, you can sum up the whole plot with

Basically a Mary Sue named Bella gets saved from a car crash by Edward, who is also a Marty Stu and looks all gothy and gak.

After half a book of plodding romantic crap, we learn that he's a vampire (as though the sunken eyes and pale skin weren't a massive tipoff).

Most of the of the "action" revolves around Bella being saved by her hot sexy bloodsucking boyfriend and ends in a "twist" that can best be summed up as;

I'm gonna die a horrible death during childbirth, and my kid's gonna look like a hellspawn all because I fethed a vampire.

From now on, I'm going to wear my Twilight-bashing shirt whenever I go to a bookstore.

As Sir Stephen, the King of Trolls said,

Stephanie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.

Ne'er have truer words been spoken, Mr. King.

Rant over.

You should know that these books have hightened the expectations of most females and have led to many a dumping due to the "More Like My Edward" factor. It seems that trying to kill yourself so you can get reemed out by a emo blood sucker talking to you through your head is incredibly romantic to young girls.

Most disturbingly it has led the plethora of vampire porn and cults among teenagers. Some of my friends drink eachothers blood cause they think it boosts their energy. Now I m not one to complain as any blood for the blood god is still blood for the blood god. But sersiously? SERIOUSLY???

Indeed. It may have contributed to the rise in black hair and wristbands I've noticed at my school. I also happen to know a couple of girls in my social group who think witchcraft and stuff is awesome and that it's real. I make sure to read Mathias Thulmann: Witch Hunter whenever they're around. It's worth the look on their faces.

i said at school "Twilight sucks"
i got beat up

OMG, thats wins. You should totally wear an Edward only has the hots for Jacob shirt (with obligatory graphics) and watch the fun.


PS: Wear a helmet.

Nah, my shirt says 'And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.'

Lol, I don't know whats with your Cheese. Your like the friend who has the most amazing life and then when you go to meet his parents find out he works at Wendy's and daydreams in school.

ratbarf i assume that comment after mine was toward me
there were nothing but girly parts what was i supposed to grab
one was twice my size(im 230)
one also had double d's

I don't have a job, hurr durr.

I do have a pretty interesting life according to other people, but I don't see what's so great about it. Let's see, what's happened (nothing interesting on the list)...

-I watched my dad bleed out on the floor (he died).
-I accidentally shot a burglar in the foot (the dogs would have caught him anyway)
-I've accidentally set off my own gun several times, putting holes in the walls and narrowly missing my foot.

That's all I can think of actually. Most of the time, life is pretty boring. Church is fun though. I get to do stuff with the youth group.

But that's going off-topic. If you want to discuss me, start a new thread.

everyone has aboring life
just once and awhile something interesting happens

Ahhh yes. Twilight.

about 5 times my friend tells me to read the book or watch the movie. every time, I simply say "whoop de fething doo"

eh, that's how life is man....

Ratbarf wrote:You should know that these books have hightened the expectations of most females and have led to many a dumping due to the "More Like My Edward" factor. It seems that trying to kill yourself so you can get reemed out by a emo blood sucker talking to you through your head is incredibly romantic to young girls.

No no no our town's too nice for that.....

Cheese Elemental wrote:I make sure to read Mathias Thulmann: Witch Hunter whenever they're around. It's worth the look on their faces.

You should read from the Malleus Maleficarum.


Back on topic:

This is a vampire


This is a failure


This is a Twilight fan


This is my Twilight face


This is Stephen King

And this is my response to your latter Twilight-related pics except the Stephen King one that was funny

My girlfriend downloaded the film to see how bad it was.

All I can say is I had to purge the hard drive with a healthy dose of fire.



Something for you though, cheese:

http://twilightsucks.com/

enjoy :p

Thanks for the link! It's good to be with my fellow haters.

I wonder what Chuck Norris makes of all this.

Wow yet another reason for me to beat up emos.(If only they did not roam in packs.)

My town's populace is more the skater boy,jock type so I must say no emo love for the movie here.I do agree it is bad(IT IS REALLY ACCUALLY FETHING HORRIBLE)yet I have never much been able to understand pop culture trends.First Miley Cirus and now this what is the world coming to ?

Oh great, I happen to have avoided all knowledge of whatever the hell you are going on about so far in my life.

The same thing happened with harry potter, twitter, parris hilton and a variety of other things until someone went "you don't know who/what ___ is?" in some immature state of disbelief and shock. So I take a look at what it is then reply, "I'm quite happy here underneath my rock thank you."

Harry Potter may also be obnoxious fangirl faggotry, but at least it's worth reading.

My rock
underneath
quite happy
thank you.

Harry potter was rather boring,I agree that it was atleast better than twilight but if I had a choice I would not have read one of them.(I had to read some of em for school.)

And wait how the heck did you by accident shoot a burglar in the foot?

Like I said before; it was dark, he moved suddenly, I was tired and jumpy, and I had a gun in my hand. Bad mixture. Also the biggest fluke of my life.

LOL,the poor bugger.He had to go to prison,and he got shot.He must be one unlucky man.

We didn't press charges because I felt bad and he didn't get away.

LOL,but anyway getting this thread some what back on track now,Cheese would you please properly explain to me what an emo is.I have no idea as here in my sleepy town,if you cut yourself and listen to greenday you are run out of town by men with large beards and shotguns.

Well basically an emo is like a goth, only instead of looking GRIMDARK they act GRIMDARK as well. The more serious emos cut themselves and a lot of them smoke as well to drown their so-called sorrows, which are just a misconception that the world hates them. Which it does.

I wish I had some "Twilight" toilet paper.

Just use the books.

LoL, as soon as middle shool girls and wierd cat women got ahold of vampires, it was only a matter of time before they turned from throat ripping monsters to sparkling bad boys with a good heart. Same thing happpens with "Thug Love". That's most women for you. Shame what they have done to vampires.

Description of an Emo:-Imagine a Goth. Now change the Iron Maiden shirt for a My Chemical Romance one. Remove all the jewellry with skulls on it, and replace it with ones with dragons and vampires, etc. Change the spiked up/ regular black hairstyle for a balck one with long flat droopy hair that goes just over their eyes. Change the Goth from being fairly hench and muscular physically to being a lanky awkward teenager, in skinny fit jeans. As for personality, change it from a hard drinking tough(if slightly morbid) personality, to an incredibly depressive attention seeking one.
THAT, my friends, is an Emo.

Orkeosaurus wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:I make sure to read Mathias Thulmann: Witch Hunter whenever they're around. It's worth the look on their faces.

You should read from the Malleus Maleficarum.


Back on topic:

This is a vampire


This is a failure


This is a Twilight fan


This is my Twilight face


This is Stephen King

Gentlemen, absent a thread announcing Monica Belluci has the hots for frazzled, this has to be the best post of 2009. Max Schreck, pwoning loser vampies, and the immortal Calvin and Hobbes in one post. Excelsior!!!

Because I was homeschooled, a few attention seeking people I know have been goth/emo. I just want to pop some sense into them y'know?

I read Twilight.

Never again.

And I actually like the Harry Potter series, and am excited about the next movie, because it was such a great book.

Grown man in not liking movie aimed at teenage girls shocker!

I've never seen nor read Twilight but I really don't get the hatred towards it. It seems to come primarily from people for whom it was never created.

This just makes the hatred seem a bit...well sad really.

I'm afraid I don't get why Stephen King is suddenly a dinosaur flying a plane.

The hatred comes from the fact that it more or less promotes whiny emo behaviour and is a really bad soppy kinky goth romance book. It's populated with Mary Sue characters which ruin the book and make me a saaaaad panda.

Dude its Calvin and Hobbes, where Calvin is wondering-wouldn't it be cool if a T Rex/Allosaurus (its been a few decades) had an F-15?

Cheese Elemental wrote:

The hatred comes from the fact that it more or less promotes whiny emo behaviour and is a really bad soppy kinky goth romance book. It's populated with Mary Sue characters which ruin the book and make me a saaaaad panda.

Havn't most book/films aimed at teenage girls been doing this for years anyway? The only thing that seems to make Twilight different from these is the introction of a horror/gothic element but I'm sure this has proababy been done before. Hell, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was just a crappy teen soap with monsters and most people I know lapped it up. What makes this film/book seem so much more worthy of hate than any of the others that people seem happy to ignore?

Not picking a fight, just genuinely curious.

LuciusAR wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:

The hatred comes from the fact that it more or less promotes whiny emo behaviour and is a really bad soppy kinky goth romance book. It's populated with Mary Sue characters which ruin the book and make me a saaaaad panda.

Havn't most book/films aimed at teenage girls been doing this for years anyway? The only thing that seems to make Twilight different from these is the introction of a horror/gothic element but I'm sure this has proababy been done before. Hell, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was just a crappy teen soap with monsters and most people I know lapped it up. What makes this film/book seem so much more worthy of hate than any of the others that people seem happy to ignore?

Not picking a fight, just genuinely curious.

Because Buffy was hot, and sparkly vampires don't deserve to exist.

No, I think its because everyone thats not in the middle of the pop culture (e.g. teenage girls) is always wondering what they care about, and why they care so much, because we feel its stupid. And now they have a book that disgraces vampires as we know them, and we can see what they care about, and it disgusts us.

Thats my view. I mostly hate it because it was badly written, and pretty dumb story-wise.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Honestly, my friend dragged me along to a... ...party, and I was utterly disgusted at what I saw. Dozens of screaming teenage girls frothing over that crappy series of... well, I hesitate to call them novels. They were all dressed as vampires, or wearing dance dresses, or wearing 'I love Edward' t-shirts.

Yeah those Interview with a vampire are pretty bad and I never got the obsession with Edward Sissorhands either. This post is about the early 90's right?

Oh to be young again...

I'm bad at arguing, so allow me to direct you to this guy's posts.

As much as I hate unofficial fanfic/slashfic as they always manage to ruin novels or movies for me, I would love to see, or if necessary even write, a Twilight/Hellsing crossover in which Alucard puts head-sized holes through all those pretentious sparkly spankers. The Jackal > Ed. Good game.

And in that vein:

***Twilight vampires run into Al Bundy, who proceeds to show them why he made four touchdowns in high school.

***Twilight vampires run into the ghost of John Wayne. After laughing for four hours he plugs them all full of holes.

***Twilight vampires get stranded in a redneck bar. Oh the humanity!

***Twilight vampires are forced to...get a job, at Walmart (YOU PUNKS!).

***Twilight vampires run into Bela Legosi's Dracula.

I do not drink...wine.

Chuck Norris once read Twilight. The result was Mount St. Helens erupting.

why dont we go burn a book store down
all of them that will stop this plague
and extra we get rid of books all together

And now they have a book that disgraces vampires as we know them, and we can see what they care about, and it disgusts us.

Ok this seems to be a point that has been brought up a few times. The portrayal of vampires 'as we know them' in the book/film is somhow wrong.

Just to play Devils Advocate here I'd like to make a quick point.

Vampires. Are. Fictional.

The very idea that there can be an authoritative version of a creature that doesn't exist is just nuts. No person or group of people can claim to have licence to the 'proper' vision of vampires. Not Bram Stoker, not Anne Rice, not Joss Wheedon, not the Guys who founded White Wolf nor the person who wrote Twilight. Nobody. They are not real, ergo any interpretation of the ledged is as valid (or invalid) as any other.

Sorry guys but you don't own the rights to Vampires.

LuciusAR wrote:
Vampires. Are. Fictional.

How dare you speak such lies lol.

No no no our town's too nice for that.....

Not my town, I just go to shcool there. And have you not seen the whacked out people that go to beal? They are just frigging nuts when it comes to this stuff.... I mean they had an illegal showing in the auditorium after school for a dollar....

The same thing happened with harry potter, twitter, parris hilton and a variety of other things until someone went "you don't know who/what ___ is?" in some immature state of disbelief and shock. So I take a look at what it is then reply, "I'm quite happy here underneath my rock thank you."

I know what thats like, I didn't know who Pamela Anderson was until two years ago.

Incidentally, I have a long beard and a shot gun!

Grown man in not liking movie aimed at teenage girls shocker!

I've never seen nor read Twilight but I really don't get the hatred towards it. It seems to come primarily from people for whom it was never created.

This just makes the hatred seem a bit...well sad really.

At least the vampires in Buffy didn 't have the emotional constitution of a tulip. Plus, that show had boobs and guns. This one has vegetarian vampires and a love triange with a werewolf.

One of the reasons that people hate it so much is because of what it has done to girl's image of a perfect relationship. For example.

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

#9321 (397) - 02/05/2009 at 7:06am by Noname - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (188868) - you deserved that one (25156)
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And thirdly what they have done to Goth culture as a whole. You think the cancer on /b/ is bad? How about that vampire freaks has been invaded by the emo masses simply becuase it has vampire in its url and deals in part with things that emo love. ie; helping eachother cry, crying together, discussing cutting techniques, camwhoring, and getting attention. It has pretty much ruined the site for the actual goths that go there.

Finally, here is south parks take on it.

The Ungroundable


Oh yah, and being an emo makes you make out with guys to get girls. Its called being an emosexual.

Personnally I've also seen teen girls change after reading one of these type of novels. Chances are they were already fethed in the head, but anything in this genre is a catalyst. All it does is quicken up what was going to happen later on.

I've also seen a lot of girls change like this after reading mangas. One day one of my friends(a female) was reading a comic book at lunch. I took said book and flipped through the pages( I couldn't read japanese so the story was in the pictures). It was all fine and good until I saw a picture of two men having carnal knowledge with each other. I then tossed the book on the table and learned that swearing out loud in the cafeteria will get you detention.

I believe in false hope and everything, but it should not be given to women in this manner. Its like giving a guy false hope of seeing two hot lesbians going at it. Chances are the only lesbians you see making out will be psuedo-lumberjacks. False hopes like these are wrong to give to anyone.

I also believe that emos are like goths, just with less metal. If ou want to be a hardcore person, don't try to kill yourself, listen to metallica.

The way I see it is even though Lucius' point is valid about no one owning vampires, there's the sort of...well, I suppose 'traditional' idea of a vampire in movies/books etc . They always seem to be rather similar even when from different sources.

The meyer-vampires have Increased strength...fine, yeah, thats simple enough really. They drink blood, but they don't use fangs, they have 'teeth that can bite through steel' or something. Now immediatly, you've taken away one of the instantly recogniseable features of vampires: The fangs, and I don't recall sparkly vampires when they went out in the sun...or, going out in the sun at all for that matter (well except maybe the sunscreen thing in Blade, but whatever)

Now the way I see it is if you're going to use the name of a creature you should at least try to remain..well, faithful I guess is the word I want to use, to the "lore" of vampires. It would be akin to me writing a book about werewolves, but instead of the whole 'full moon' thing, they will instead turn into 3 legged kittens when it rains.

To be honest, it seems to me like Meyer threw the V word in to attract the grimdark kids to storytime.


Then again the whole "its her book" and "I won't read it anyway" things render my points pointless...and this post makes it sound like I give more of a gak than I actually do :p

Cheese Elemental wrote:I'm afraid I don't get why Stephen King is suddenly a dinosaur flying a plane.

He's AWESOME

LuciusAR wrote:Grown man in not liking movie aimed at teenage girls shocker!

I don't think Cheese is a grown man.

I may or may not be considered one, but there are plenty of people in my English class who thought Twilight was great.

(I was making fun of the sparkly vampires. Evidently, I was only doing this because I was jealous of the imaginary vampire's ability to pick up chicks. )

I'm not a grown man, sadly. This doesn't stop me raging though.

And whatever happened to the good old days of Dracula and Elizabeth Bathory? I mean, 'I vant to sark your blurd!'... nobody does that any more. It's saddening.

I went to school toaday and someone came to scholl wearing a shirt that said...
"DON'T READ TWILIGHT
youll want to drown kittens"

And what happened? Did you get attacked by the Gothopotamus posted earlier by Frazzeled?

i forgot to say it wasnt me

Oh. Where did you hear that from?

i saw it at school myself

yeah... screw Twilight... everyone knows Anita Blake is where its at...

I have an interesting question.

Do you suppose that Bella ever gave Edward head?

I just read the plots online.
vampire=okay i can deal with that
werewolfs=okay
the 2 together makes for a bad 50's b-movie
seriously if i was edward i would have just bite her from the start and save us all the killed trees

Thankfully, we have a good Vampire vs Werewolves crossover. We call it Underworld.

I can think she did.

Didn't they have a furniture breaking bout of the intimates? I would assume that would involve some one eating someone else's brain.

I saw this movie based on a friends suggestion,he knows I am a horror movie fanatic,so he tells me about "a cool vampire movie" he just saw.
Now,let me clarify for a moment,I'm 39,had never heard of the whole "twighlight craze..whatever",no knowledge of the books,and very little enter action with "emo" kids (I'm an old "punk rocker").
So,my girlfriend and I watch this garbage,both basicly stare at the T.V saying WTF is this sh**! and the following day I have to resist the urge to punch my friend in the face....turns out his wife really liked it and thought "Edward" was cute...I don't speak to him very much anymore.

It also has pedophilia
a werewolf trys to feth a newborn vampire

I'm amused that in the book apparently it mentions how the vampires have no bodily fluid of any kind.


Yet, the girl ends up pregnant by him.



...hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Hey, here's an amusing question.
Which is better, Harry Potter or Twilight?


http://www.sodahead.com/question/192541/twilight-vs-harry-potter-which-series-is-hotter/

My name on there is justin...
Look for the picture of pants.

Ok I was hesitant to post (let alone read the thread), but I think you guys are missing the point (i.e. ur doin it wrong, hurr hurr). Twilight was written by a woman who had never read or seen any serious vampire fiction. She is/was a bored mormon housewife who wanted to make a book for girls. Yes, it's namby pamby, but for the ladies in my wife it's a good read and it introduces them to a genre that they wouldn't have touched beforehand.

My neighbor whom got my wife interested in the series is also reading the Brotherhood series. For the uninitiated ( http://www.jrward.com/index-books.html ). If you need a vampire fix, but also soft-core porn then give it a shot. The characters are pretty good and the story is great.

that doesnt matter she took 2 of our greatest monster and basterdized them
and it shows a unreallistic style of love

Ketara wrote:Description of an Emo:-Imagine a Goth. Change the spiked up/ regular black hairstyle for a black one with long flat droopy hair that goes just over their eyes. Change the Goth from being fairly hench and muscular physically to being a lanky awkward teenager, in skinny fit jeans. As for personality, change it from a hard drinking tough(if slightly morbid) personality, to an incredibly depressive attention seeking one.
THAT, my friends, is an Emo.

No, that is a goth. Except for the buff part ("hench'? What's that? I'll assume buff & muscly?). Skinny, whiny depressed art students - at least they were when I was at school - which was the 80s. They all looked like the by-blows of Siouxsie Sue and Robert Smith. Most had "cutting" scars on their wrists and some even did the blood-play thing (until they got hep B and got really sick and stuff). Never met a buff goth. Chromers and Rivetheads, plenty of them though.

Then they grew up, settled down, stopped rebelling against their middle-class roots and begat offspring. These became emos. They have vague ideas of what Goths were (most goths were often "chemically enhanced" at least in the cities I knew them, and have crap memories now as a result), and kinda blurred them together into a gestalt melange. Emos today would get sneered at and shunned by goths from my generation, but then, that was what they were good at (sneering and shunning.).

Vampire fiction goes in cycles. When I was a teen, it was Catherine Deneuve in "the hunger" (with David Bowie, as well), but we also had vampire spoofs. Once Bitten (Lauren Hutton and a young Jim Carrey, Love at first bite (George Hamilton). And good vampire movies (Near Dark. Yokel vampires.). Anne (Puke) Rice came along and made them all (back of hand to forehead) - "oh woe is me! I am a monster." again.

I see Stephanie Meyer as simply the current generation's analogue of AR. And just as bad.

Ditto'd on all counts.

garret wrote:ratbarf i assume that comment after mine was toward me
there were nothing but girly parts what was i supposed to grab
one was twice my size(im 230)
one also had double d's

I'd say it's fairly obvious what to grab here.
Never be afraid to fight a girl. They want equality after all.

Never be afraid to fight a girl.

No just her boyfriend.

I can't hate Twilight. There are many more girls at my school then boys, and most of the guys read Twilight to get their girlfriends to shut the f*ck up. They then become Twilight fans. I am s lone island in a sea of idiots. Only a few people actively hate Twilight as much as me at my school. And I hate them just as much as Twilight. I can not begin a fight with either group, as I wil be boned by an almost 12 to 1 ratio. God dammit. Cheese, may I burrow your holy water and fire?

*muffled*
"Sure. Why?"

I need to kill myself.

*Muffled*
"I'll get the video camera!!!"

You know what to do, laddie.

Burn 'em. Burn 'em all.

So, any of you guys watch True Blood?

true blood.........first few times i ran across it channel surfing i though hbo had decided to run softcore porn earlier in the day.

i've a friend or 2 thats a fan, but i don't watch it.

The best vampires are the vicious, predatory monsters who live in abandoned crypts and will not for a second hesitate to kill anyone who crosses their path. They walk around in mouldering centuries old clothing and dare you with their eyes to say something about the blood staining their faces. If they were real, and one offered me immortality, I would go for it in a second. I would stay away from all the emos and goths, because them knowing vampires really existed would be justification for their annoying ways.

Hey, on a side note, can you kill vampires with chainsaws if you slice their head off or gut them with it?

warpcrafter wrote:The best vampires are the vicious, predatory monsters who live in abandoned crypts and will not for a second hesitate to kill anyone who crosses their path. They walk around in mouldering centuries old clothing and dare you with their eyes to say something about the blood staining their faces. If they were real, and one offered me immortality, I would go for it in a second. I would stay away from all the emos and goths, because them knowing vampires really existed would be justification for their annoying ways.

They would be the easiest to turn into the mindless masses though, controlling them and making them do your bidding as thralls. Even Dracula had those IIRC, in the form of the gypsies.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:I can't hate Twilight. There are many more girls at my school then boys, and most of the guys read Twilight to get their girlfriends to shut the f*ck up. They then become Twilight fans. I am s lone island in a sea of idiots. Only a few people actively hate Twilight as much as me at my school. And I hate them just as much as Twilight. I can not begin a fight with either group, as I wil be boned by an almost 12 to 1 ratio. God dammit. Cheese, may I burrow your holy water and fire?

*muffled*
"Sure. Why?"

I need to kill myself.

*Muffled*
"I'll get the video camera!!!"

If they are all reading Twilight you have nothing to fear. Genghis Connie's Girl scout troup could take them out. One girl actually reads Twilight and the rest think she's an idiot, and weird.

From what you tell us, your daughter should have been sent into Iraq and saved the U.S. government tons of bother, since she's apparently the single most powerful human being in existence.

Cheese Elemental wrote:From what you tell us, your daughter should have been sent into Iraq and saved the U.S. government tons of bother, since she's apparently the single most powerful human being in existence.

Frazz's daughter for God Empress of Man?

She is, now get off my lawn, you punk!

Oh, gak I didn't see the boundary I swear!

Rant

Ketara wrote:Description of an Emo:-Imagine a Goth. Now change the Iron Maiden shirt for a My Chemical Romance one.

In all my years as a "metal head", I have never been a Goth or been called one.
I actually resent the assumption you've made, that the only people who wear Iron Maiden T-shirts are Goths.
/Rant
(On Topic)In general:
The only thing I can agree with in principle, is the dislike for Twighlight.

Echoing some of the other old farts in this thread, the entire "goth vs. emo" debate is in itself ironic.
It's really just all children being children. At some point you'll all grow up and get a real identity. Instead of engaging in your typical teen "nonconformity through complete and utter conformity" thing, that is.

gorgon wrote:Echoing some of the other old farts in this thread, the entire "goth vs. emo" debate is in itself ironic.
It's really just all children being children. At some point you'll all grow up and get a real identity. Instead of engaging in your typical teen "nonconformity through complete and utter conformity" thing, that is.

I resent this. Every heard this?

"You are only young once but can stay immature indefinitely." Can't remember who said this, but I find it very true. I know I'll get a
LITTLE mature (right around 21. but beyond that, just enough to function in society.

Ok, this thread is full of win, simply because I just stumbled into it after leaving the living room where my wife is currently watching the movie for the umpteenth time.

The movie isn't that bad, the the insane level of attention it is getting is too much.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Thankfully, we have a good Vampire vs Werewolves crossover. We call it Underworld.

Now this I have to argue with. While I haven't seen Rise of the Lycans yet, the DVD is on my coffee table, just bought it, Underworld is nothing more than a Werewolf and Vampire version of Romeo and Juliet.

My wife and I got into an argument about the movies, where she feels the movies have far too much violence, and I feel the movies have far too much romance...

Deff Dread red Edition wrote:LOL,but anyway getting this thread some what back on track now,Cheese would you please properly explain to me what an emo is.I have no idea as here in my sleepy town,if you cut yourself and listen to greenday you are run out of town by men with large beards and shotguns.

Well, you know how teenagers like to dress up and identify as part of a fashion because they're desperate to be anything other than middle class kids from the suburbs. Well in the past we've called them mods, goths, surfies and all sorts of other things, and made fun of them for being lame. Now we call them emos, and make fun of them because they're still just middle class kids from the suburbs desperate to be something other than middle class kids from the suburbs.


Meanwhile, people who aren't teenage girls are keen to point out how much they dislike a book series written for teenage girls.

Show them "Near dark"
Especially the bar fight.

This obscure gem was released the same period as "Lost Boys" and had precious little publicity. I knew about it through Fangoria magazine, and it had at least 4 actors I'd heard of, and none were exactly "pretty boys" (unlike lost boys").

And as an extra bonus. Listen to the cast track on Aliens (extra BTS actors talking over the movie).
They spend more time talking about Near Dark than Aliens. (Bill Paxton, Lance Henrickson and Jennette Goldstein are all in it. So was Adrian Pasdar (Heroes) and Tim Thomerson (legend of b-grade 80s SF).

Cheese Elemental wrote:You know what to do, laddie.

Burn 'em. Burn 'em all.

My buddies and I are making a film about this subject. It's horror comedy. I think you'll like, but you'll have to wait till we're finished filming.


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Cheese Elemental wrote:Hey, on a side note, can you kill vampires with chainsaws if you slice their head off or gut them with it?

When the film is done, you will find out.

I miss the older generation of face-smashing and black metal goths. These new twilight people drive me insane.

Vampries were the pinnacle of awesome. Late 80s early 90s vamp movies rocked. However once Buffy rolled around things changed. It was nice when Buffy was comedic, but when it went serious it changed the idea of vampires. Anne Rice didn't help at all either. In fact I'd venture to say she contributed to the softening of vampires. The TV show Angel did mixed things. Overall I'm not sure how Angel impacted, but I liked the show a lot anyway. 30 Days of Night came and went and didn't get the response it would have 14 years ago. Now there's twilight which being a vampire fan I did sit down and watch in it's entirety. I tried to get behind it, but all I saw was this, "Let's take normal high-school situations but ADD VAMPIRES!!" and someone's eyes turned into dollar signs looney-toons style and the books were written.

I lost faith in my beloved genre when several new friends of mine found out I was into vamps and "gothy" stuff like that. They got all excited so I'm invited them over to hang out one day and they picked through my DVD shelf. We watched From Dusk Till Dawn. Great movie, but as the end credits began to roll my friend piped up "vampires aren't like that at all though." and went off on this explanation I completely tuned out.

Between Twilight and Anne Rice our vamps are going from super villains to super suck. It was like talking cars. You'd find out some guy or girl liked the vampire genre and you'd ask them which movies were their favorite. They'd be able to spout off actors, where the movie was set, the body count, all kinds of awesome. Similar to how people can rattle off specs on a car's engine. Now someone brings up vampires and I hear "oh god not more twilight." and I quickly try and explain I wasn't referring to twilight, but they tune me out and group me in with twilight fans.

There's two types of vampires now. There's the aggressive, powerful, and scheming ones and there's the Rice-Twilight reticent, brooding and subdued ones.

Werewolves should be making a comeback soon. At least until some bored woman makes a soppy romantic novel about them.

sorry, a good half the pulp fantasy books anymore have vampires and werewolfs in trashy romance setups.

its already to late for them

Know what else I hate? Furries. Furries make me sick to the core. I'd rather tear my own spine out and hang myself with it than be a furry. I want to exterminate all the furries, purify them before they spread.

Whats a furry? As for werewolves four words: Another of My Movies. This will be badass werewolves to the max.

Picture link fail, Orkeosaurus.

GES: A furry is an anthromorphic animal (i.e. a humanoid animal) that is held is low regard by most people who browses 4chan's traditional games (Warhammer, TGCs, etc) board. A furry is also the name for people who wear animal suits and have big LARP events and go to conventions.

For more information, see 1d4chan's furry page for why they are hated.

What? The link's working for me...


"This is as my Master told it to me and now I tell it thee.
There are a billion names of furfaggotry! A billion kinds of furries that slither and slime and defile the land, sea, and wind. Each furry is a kind of sin spawned by the internet's evil. And that internets is very sinful there are many of these damned furfags and their power is great.

As the purpose of all things in nature is to increase, so it is with the furry. They would we joined them and so they seek to overcome us. In alien forms they assault us. In sleep they come to spread doubt and fear among us. They would corrupt our hearts and see us yiff, too. Trust them not nor suffer them to live.

For each furfag destroyed is a soul freed from eternal bondage. Each mortal furry life extinguished is an /i/nsurgent soul raised to glory. Thus, our eternal destiny is written in the blood of the furfag.

With box and tampon destroy the furfag. With pizza and Koran smash the furfag. With credit card hacks and searing Mormons scatter the furfag to the stars. With gore and dataforce and bandwidth raep, with hax and AIDS and Jehovahs, with yellow vans and steroids!

Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all!

As my Master told it me I now tell it thee that thou shalt tell others in thy turn.

In an internet of a million sites, what is the death of one site in the cause of purity? Some may question your right to destroy ten billion furfags. Those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live."

Note: IOU one blowjob.

I stole it from ED.

I'd still like to give it to you.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Know what else I hate? Furries. Furries make me sick to the core. I'd rather tear my own spine out and hang myself with it than be a furry. I want to exterminate all the furries, purify them before they spread.

Furries disturb me, but when they're not in "furry mode" and discussion or talking about being a furry I don't care. My favorite YouTube author is a furry I recently found out, but he still makes damn good videos.


They have their place with other furries. I hate the furries who run around wearing ears constantly talking about how they are a furry. The ones who are overly outward about it bother me because "good" furries will be considerate if you don't want to hear about it. It's the obnoxious ones, just like the obnoxious of any lifestlye that bother me.

Summary: the considerate ones are ok, the "waving their preferences in your face" ones piss me off.

The worst are the furry hentai artists.

Forget I ever said that, please. For the sake of your soul.

twilight is a chick book.


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Twilight is a chick book.

That changes nothing. I'm not upset that it's a chick book; I'm upset that it's so badly written and encourages necrophilia whilst ruining the new generation's concept of vampires.

Werewolves should be making a comeback soon. At least until some bored woman makes a soppy romantic novel about them.

Too late, Twilight already has werewolves and (jacob) is part of the love triangle that is Bella Edward Jacob. Edward secretly loves Jacob but won't blow off Bella cause then it wouldn't appeal to most conservative people (ie the southwest excluding california) while jacob loves bella cause she has a rocking bod and wants to make lots of little puppies with her, while bella loves edward because of all the attention he shows her trying to keep his gay fantasies of jacob hidden beneath a tapestry of lies and overt heterosexuality.

Edward is gay for real?
Thats hilarious!
No wonder he sparkles in the sun!

If you eat lots of garlic, and then fart does it hurt/kill vamps?

Ratbarf wrote:

No no no our town's too nice for that.....

Not my town, I just go to school there. And have you not seen the whacked out people that go to beal? They are just frigging nuts when it comes to this stuff.... I mean they had an illegal showing in the auditorium after school for a dollar....

I'm afraid of Beal now. I go to school just down the street from it and we occasionally have mobs of the fethers...




at our doorstep.