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man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 05:37:58


Post by: greenskin lynn


http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=456&sid=1719548
BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) - Wielding his chain saw as a weapon, a Colorado man says he fought off a starving mountain lion that attacked him while he was camping with his wife and two toddlers in northwestern Wyoming.

Dustin Britton, a 32-year-old mechanic and ex-Marine from Windsor, Colo., said he was alone cutting firewood about 100 feet from his campsite in the Shoshone National Forest when he saw the lion staring at him from some bushes.

Britton revved his 18-inch chain saw and tried to back away. But the 100-pound lion followed.

As the animal pounced, the 6-foot-tall, 170-pound Britton raised his saw and met it head-on _ a collision he said felt like a grown man running right into him.

"It batted me three or four times with its front paws and as quick as I hit it with that saw it just turned away," he said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.

Britton later discovered he'd inflicted a six- to eight-inch gash on the lion's shoulder. He said he was surprised the damage wasn't worse.

"You would think if you hit an animal with a chain saw it would dig right in. I might as well have hit it with a hockey stick," he said.

The wounded animal retreated, leaving Britton with a only small puncture wound on his forearm.

The attack occurred Sunday evening at a campsite 27 miles west of Cody. Wildlife agents shot and killed the lion Monday after it attacked a dog brought in to track the animal.

Authorities say the lion was in poor physical condition and appeared to be starving. The lion was 4 to 5 years old.

Mountain lions are considered reclusive by nature and officials said the circumstances of the attack were highly unusual. Wyoming officials have documented only eight cases of mountain lions acting aggressively toward humans over the last decade.

After Britton's confrontation, he and his wife, Kirsta, decided to stay the night in their pop-up camper with their two children rather than risk packing up with the lion still on the loose.

The next morning he told a passing U.S. Forest Service employee about the incident and that's when wildlife agents were called.

Tests for rabies and other diseases came up negative, but officials said they were continuing to analyze the animal for other potential diseases.

"It's very, very rare" for lions to attack, said Wyoming Game and Fish spokesman Warren Mischke. "We're still trying to investigate why this lion would behave this way."


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 07:18:57


Post by: Wrexasaur


This must be some sort of test preview of the next Rambo movie. He has kids, he is a marine, NO ONE WILL STAND IN RAMBOS WAY!!!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 16:22:06


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


Pffrt.

Real men attack vicious natural Predators with nothing more than a Cricket Bat.

And he has the cheek to have 'Britton' as a surname. Wuss.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 16:29:39


Post by: BrookM


There was a farmer in Africa who tore the tongue from a cheetah's (?) mouth with his bare hands in self defence.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 16:35:43


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


Now that Farmer wasn't a wuss. However, it is important to remember that a Cricket Bat generally isn't required against Cheetahs, because they are generally quite wee.

My favourite story of non-wussiness concerns an Australian swimmer. Whilst out for a paddle, a shark decided to have a nibble of his leg. Not being a wuss, the bloke knew the correct course of action. Back in the water, find the Shark, and tear it's gills apart in an explosion of violence

Stoopit Septics and their dependance on all things petrol driven! What happened to the men who would take on a whopping great Mammoth with nothing more than a pointy stick?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 17:46:28


Post by: Dreadwinter


Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Stoopit Septics and their dependance on all things petrol driven! What happened to the men who would take on a whopping great Mammoth with nothing more than a pointy stick?


They didn't so much take them on as scare them off a cliff.....


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 17:54:57


Post by: jp400


Or scare them into a cliff then drop rocks onto their heads from above.......


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 18:33:26


Post by: Gman513


Or jump on their back and try to poke their brains out.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 18:48:16


Post by: AgeOfEgos


A challenger appears!



man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 19:06:02


Post by: BrookM


AgeOfEgos wrote:A challenger appears!

It lacks the tricycle.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 19:43:53


Post by: Ahtman


This was more awesome when I misread the title as "Man Fights Mountain With Chainsaw".


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/18 19:47:10


Post by: warpcrafter


Real Men Use Powertools!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/19 01:09:14


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


warpcrafter wrote:Real Men Use Powertools!


Balls! Real men just kick stuff in the Nads an hope for the best. Which is a bloody good tactic against the Chain Bear.

I give it a good shot in the pills, and like all creatures with testicles, it's natural reaction is to grab it's nads, and feel sorry for itself. Of course, with Chainsaw hands, Mr Chainbear is only going to slice it's legs off in a welter of gore. Thus, I win.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/19 01:59:11


Post by: hawkeye


AgeOfEgos wrote:A challenger appears!



Evolution happens much faster then I was led to believe.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 19:59:17


Post by: Nailz94


*On the floor laughing* PMSL


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:20:53


Post by: jp400


AgeOfEgos wrote:A challenger appears!



A HERO RISES FROM THE BACKWOODS TO CHALLENGE THE CHALLENGER




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:28:16


Post by: rubiksnoob


jp400 wrote:
AgeOfEgos wrote:A challenger appears!



A HERO RISES FROM THE BACKWOODS TO CHALLENGE THE CHALLENGER





A NEW CHALLENGER TO CHALLENGE THE HERO WHO DARED TO CHALLENGE THE ORIGINAL CHALLENGER!




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:30:23


Post by: jp400


Sweet Jesus on a Pogo stick......

What the hell is she going to do? Sit on someone??!?!?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:32:18


Post by: Frazzled


I THINK THATS A HE!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!

(I have two chainsaws actually).


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:33:40


Post by: Nightwatch


That's not very nice.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:33:51


Post by: jp400


........

Dear god........



man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:35:48


Post by: Nailz94


jp400 wrote:



Damn Right


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:37:36


Post by: SlaveToDorkness


What the hell is she going to do? Sit on someone??!?!?


Marry you!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:38:26


Post by: Nailz94


WTF!!!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:41:05


Post by: rubiksnoob




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:43:39


Post by: jp400


Nurgleboy77 wrote:
What the hell is she going to do? Sit on someone??!?!?


Marry you!





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man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:47:44


Post by: Nailz94


ahahaha! these pics are awesome!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:51:52


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition





Leatherface approves of this thread!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:53:07


Post by: Nightwatch


Why do we always have to get so graphic?
(sorry for the horrible pun, it was hanging open there)


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:53:46


Post by: Nailz94


ahahaha! Does Leatherface kill mountain lions??


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:55:50


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


He kills people!Oh and I guess if he wanted to he could kill a mountain lion.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 20:56:55


Post by: Nailz94


ATTTAAACCKKKK!!!!

[Thumb - Dank+Cow.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:00:39


Post by: jp400


Nightwatch wrote:Why do we always have to get so graphic?
(sorry for the horrible pun, it was hanging open there)




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:01:28


Post by: Nailz94


ahahaha


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:04:01


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


Because getting graphic is fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47fBG6ig0Ng


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:06:40


Post by: Orkeosaurus


I can't believe the thread went this long without:



man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:11:36


Post by: Nailz94


RPC! Awesome! Do they have those in the army? (Because they need 'em)


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:15:11


Post by: jp400


Nailz94 wrote:RPC! Awesome! Do they have those in the army? (Because they need 'em)


Almost



man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:16:31


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


Another cool weapon:




Automatically Appended Next Post:
Damn posted mine the same time as yours,*Facepalm!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:18:18


Post by: jp400


Rofl...

Great minds think alike?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:21:01


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


jp400 wrote:Rofl...

Great minds think alike?


Yes,or perhaps madness leads to more madness.



man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:27:58


Post by: jp400






man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:36:59


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


Oh so you hear the voices to?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:49:17


Post by: jp400


Voices? It became one voice a loooooooooooong time ago.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:52:07


Post by: Frazzled


I am not worthy JP400...


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:54:29


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


jp400 wrote:Voices? It became one voice a loooooooooooong time ago.



Well I have a large collection.The loudest one always wants me to eat an Ipod shuffle!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 21:58:42


Post by: Nailz94


ahahahaha you crazy people


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 22:08:20


Post by: Frazzled




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 22:29:49


Post by: jp400


The Voice inside my head is telling me to cut up a dry sponge, cover the bits with Penut butter, and feed them to the neighbors dog who wont stop barking at night.

Bits grow blocking the intestines..... dog dies.... Silent night.... holy night........Allllllllll is calm............. Alllllll is right.





man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 22:44:22


Post by: Frazzled


Not funny.

Not dog's fault. Owner's fault.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/22 22:52:50


Post by: Orkeosaurus


Just use a cinderblock like everyone else.



(True Fact: Google spellchecker lists "Scientology" as a possible spelling of "cinderblock".)


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 07:16:44


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


Is it just me or has this thread gone too far off topic?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 07:18:50


Post by: jp400




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 09:57:41


Post by: smiling Assassin






sA


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 12:05:29


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


Communist LOL WUT bean FTW!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 13:48:54


Post by: rubiksnoob


This thread is discriminating against Mountain lions and damage perpetuated against the Mountain Lion community by this thread is unacceptable. The Anti Mountain Lion Defamation League (AMLDL), the National Association for the Advancement of Mountain Lions (NAAML), and several other Mountain Lion Rights groups have expressed their deepest disapproval of this thread and there are hints of further measures to be taken.

AMDML president on the issue: "Specieism is a real problem that demands real solutions. Mountain Lions are the same as you and me, they have feelings too."

Chair of the NAAML: " mew mew, yawn (swats at ball of yarn), mew. . . ROARRRR!!! (eats journalist), urp. . ."


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Mountain lions make great pets.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
That chainsaw toting marine is a wimp. this mule doesn't need anything but it's mouth to defend itself.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
That chainsaw toting marine is a wimp. this mule doesn't need anything but it's mouth to defend itself.



Now if I had to take on a mountain lion I would be packin' something with a little more heat than a chainsaw. . .

That should take care of a mountain lion no problem.




























man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 14:51:57


Post by: Neferteila


"It's very, very rare" for lions to attack, said Wyoming Game and Fish spokesman Warren Mischke. "We're still trying to investigate why this lion would behave this way."

Umm. It was starving? Dying of hunger tends to make animals do strange things, like.. attack creatures that could possibly fill their bellys. Or whack them with chainsaws.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 14:56:34


Post by: Frazzled


That is a mule you don't mess with.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 20:23:48


Post by: jp400


**Sigh**

That soldier isnt a Marine... Jarheads wear that Marpat Junk and they dont wear Airborne Berets:



Also soldiers are not wimps... in fact we have alot in common with mules:



Army Strong!!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 20:28:28


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


The Australian army has kick ass paratroopers:




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 20:44:49


Post by: Nailz94


Hahaha!

[Thumb - awesome_thread.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 20:52:01


Post by: Frazzled


Like a chainsaw...what?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 20:57:04


Post by: Exarch_Nektel


Deff Dread red Edition wrote:Oh so you hear the voices to?


You're just jealous because the voices are talking to ME!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:02:18


Post by: Nailz94


No you crazy idiot!

they are talking to meeeee!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:03:03


Post by: Nailz94


Yyyyeeaahhhh!!!!

[Thumb - Rugby guy this thread is Awesome!!!.JPG]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:03:08


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition


Exarch_Nektel wrote:
Deff Dread red Edition wrote:Oh so you hear the voices to?


You're just jealous because the voices are talking to ME!


I haven't had them my whole life,I locked myself in a room and started putting my models together and this happened(No this is not a real picture of me) :




From that day on the ole brain ain't been the same.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:04:15


Post by: Nailz94


Ahahahaha!!!! PMSL


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:06:01


Post by: Exarch_Nektel


Deff Dread red Edition wrote:
Exarch_Nektel wrote:
Deff Dread red Edition wrote:Oh so you hear the voices to?


You're just jealous because the voices are talking to ME!


I haven't had them my whole life,I locked myself in a room and started putting my models together and this happened(No this is not a real picture of me) :




From that day on the ole brain ain't been the same.


That's a pic of the guy that lives in my neighbors' basement. (JK)


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I have to do this:



man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:07:50


Post by: Nailz94


OMG!

How do you know???


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:11:26


Post by: Nailz94


...

[Thumb - retard.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:13:14


Post by: Exarch_Nektel


Deff Dread red Edition wrote:


uberlol!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:14:08


Post by: Deff Dread red Edition





Automatically Appended Next Post:
Isn't it weird how this conversation went from being about mountain lions and dudes with chainsaws to us posting pictures of random gak?


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:15:11


Post by: Nailz94


...


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ino

[Thumb - DogObedienceTraining.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:18:32


Post by: Exarch_Nektel


Deff Dread red Edition wrote:


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Isn't it weird how this conversation went from being about mountain lions and dudes with chainsaws to us posting pictures of random gak?


That stuff tends to happen.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:25:56


Post by: Nailz94


Ahahahaha! This thread is just crazy!

[Thumb - rabbit.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:27:21


Post by: greenskin lynn


i'm just surprise the thread is still going in some form


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:27:56


Post by: Nailz94


....


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thats my brother

[Thumb - retarded-pig.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:28:47


Post by: Exarch_Nektel




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:33:59


Post by: Nailz94


.

[Thumb - 84282_f520.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:34:56


Post by: Exarch_Nektel




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:35:48


Post by: Nailz94


.

[Thumb - funny-pictures-15-cents-stop.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:38:30


Post by: Exarch_Nektel





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man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:40:59


Post by: Nailz94


aha

[Thumb - hobo.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:42:38


Post by: Exarch_Nektel


Nailz94 wrote:aha


That is one of the most awesome picks ever.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:42:47


Post by: Nailz94


.

[Thumb - cat-kill-you.jpg]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 21:46:56


Post by: Exarch_Nektel





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man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 22:41:39


Post by: barlio


Since we're on the subject of awesomeness...




Thanks for the laughs guys. I seriously about peed my pants 5 minutes ago.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/23 23:59:17


Post by: jp400


Yeah, thanks for turning an awsome thread into nothing more then +1 spam you two.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/25 23:39:41


Post by: Nailz94


you're welcome


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/25 23:40:48


Post by: Nailz94


...

[Thumb - trashcan-You'reWelcomeMA10736331-2044.gif]


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/26 13:52:38


Post by: rubiksnoob






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DOO NUT PANICK! DIS FREAD HAESS BIN HIGHJAKKED FOUR THE POURPOISE UF FUNY PITURS!


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/26 14:03:24


Post by: smiling Assassin




Gentlemen.



sA


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/26 23:27:13


Post by: rubiksnoob





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LOLCATZ ATTAKEZ!




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man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/27 12:38:20


Post by: Frazzled


rubiksnoob wrote:


Automatically Appended Next Post:

LOLCATZ ATTAKEZ!




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Automatically Appended Next Post:


These are choice.


man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/27 15:55:38


Post by: rubiksnoob




man fights a mountain lion with a chainsaw @ 2009/07/27 18:37:26


Post by: jp400


rubiksnoob wrote: