Would you even tell an aquaintance you play Warhammer?

Is it embarassing?

From an external viewpoint, does it look pretty sad?

Three golden quesstions I'd certainly love to know the answers to... A lot of you seem to be lucky enough to actually have spouses who play or tolerate 40k... I would assume that perhaps you unleashed the secret on them after allowing them to get committed? ;P

That's what worked for me. I didn't end up telling my girlfriend that I play until we'd been dating for over a year. She seems to be pretty good with it a year later.

She still likes to call me a nerd though. I can live with that.

My current GF (hopefully wife sometime soon) has no issues with it. She found my models when she was cleaning right after we moved in together, and I explained it to her that 40k is my hobby, its a stress reliever, and there's much worse things we could spend our money on, like booze and real crack, not the plasticy stuff we got. As long as I clean up after I'm done painting or playing, shes fine with it. And if a woman dosen't like what you do, and tries to get you to stop, she isn't for you anyway.

Honestly, if I feel the need to mention it I usually briefly explain how it makes me good with my hands. I'm rather brazen anyway, so it isn't embarassing. Chicks dig the deep, artistic types. Both times its come up while pursuing women it has been a boon. If it comes up in conversation with anyone else they are usually passingly interested.

My girlfriend knows, and doesn't really care. Hell, she got me into Star Trek so she's quite nerdy herself. I tried to get her into it (so we could have a "battle of the couples", my friend and his girlfriend play as well), but she's not really interested. She likes a few parts of the background though - especially the lack of traditional FTL communication and the reliance on astropaths.

If someone asks me to describe it, regardless of gender, I say, "You move little soldiers around, roll dice, and argue about rules" and leave it at that unless they take interest. I managed to get a female friend into the game and one other took interest.

These threads are always interesting.

The soon-to-be Mrs Manchu and I started dating over three years ago just as we had both moved to Michigan for law school. At that point, I had left all my hobbies behind along with my undergraduate days. So at the beginning of our relationship, both of us really only had each other for a "hobby," if you will. For us, I guess, that was a good thing. By winter, I was trying to get into a local D&D group and picking up 3.5 for the first time. Now the Missus isn't at all interested in anything like that (although I once caught her watching Episode III while I was napping--my reaction: "dammit, you could have woken me up, woman!") even though she did eventually give it a try. Thankfully, as I have since learned, she wanted nothing more to do with it. But as for how I "broke the news" that I was a dork into tabletop RPGs? Frankly, I didn't feel the need to explain myself. When she got around to asking about it, my response was something like "it's pretty fun because it's all about a bunch of people telling one big story." But I think she mostly thought it was an excuse to go hang out with new friends, which was admittedly a big part of it. By the next spring, I was getting back into 40k, picking up the occasional WD, and browsing the FLGSs and comic shops. It was like a Sunday ritual of ours: mass, lunch, then off to the dorky shops along with wherever she needed to go. I guess that helped break her into it as well. In fact, just the other day she mentioned missing going to those shops with me (we've since moved and the scene around Richmond, VA is rather lacking). In summary, my experience was all about being gradual. I guess you should start by being offhanded about it. Coming off as passionate about toy soldiers is only impressive to other wargamers . . . at least at first.

Why is 40k considered nerdy? I thought D and D was the nerdy game...

double post on my toast

Henners91 wrote:Would you even tell an aquaintance you play Warhammer?

I don't go out of my way to bring it up, any more than I go out of my way to mention that I have a cat, or that I like toast. If it comes up in conversation, it comes up, like anything else.

Is it embarassing?

Not even slightly. It's what I do.

From an external viewpoint, does it look pretty sad?

From my experience, most of the 'embarrassment factor' of wargaming and miniature-related hobbies comes from the insecurities of the people participating in them. The vast majority of people I've spoken to about my hobby over the years have, if not interested in doing it themselves, thought it was interesting. The few that haven't 'got' it were the 'jocks' too rooted in their own insecurities to have any imagination.

Gamers would have fewer problems with their hobby if they stopped being embarrassed about it and treating it like something shameful. If you treat it as normal, most of the people around you will do the same. If you hide it away, of course people will think it's weird. They pick up on how you present it.

A lot of you seem to be lucky enough to actually have spouses who play or tolerate 40k... I would assume that perhaps you unleashed the secret on them after allowing them to get committed? ;P

Nope. My fiance was a friend of a friend I was sharing a house with. The first time I met her was when she came over to get some help with a TAFE assignment from my housemate. The 6'x8' miniatures cabinet was pretty unmissable, given that it was right inside the front door.

If a girl is going to have issues with your hobbies, you might as well find out about it right up front. Hobbies are, from what I've seen over the years, one of the biggest relationship killers. So if that's going to be on the cards, it's better to find out before all the messy emotional involvement.

insaniak wrote:Gamers would have fewer problems with their hobby if they stopped being embarrassed about it and treating it like something shameful. If you treat it as normal, most of the people around you will do the same. If you hide it away, of course people will think it's weird. They pick up on how you present it.

QFT and wisdom. Some people are freakishly knowledgeable about sports stats. IMO, that's just as nerdy as rattling off stats from the codices. For whatever reason, the people who become gamers bring a lot of baggage with them to the hobby. As a result, there is an unfortunate stereotype of gamer nerdiness involving lack of social skills and hygiene. If a girl notices that you keep putting her intelligence down in relation to your own or haven't taken a shower in three days, you'll never have to worry about telling her you play 40k.

+1 to insaniak. Dont be embarassed about it as some of my coworkers have asked about it and seem intrigued by it. Even jocks can be intrigued by it. My younger brother being one of them to a point seems pretty interested by it and wants to try it. I hope to get him involved in it sometime when i get a chance. Just to clarify my brother is not your typical jock though he is really into sports as i was when i was his age. My brother is the type to make friends with anyone but hangs out with the jock crowd more often than not.

Agree heavily with insaniak and manchu. My girlfriend has no problem whatsoever with my 40K hobby. She has her own collections/artistic pursuits, so she doesn't judge me for mine. (plus, as insaniak said, it helps that I'm not embarrassed/insecure about my hobby) Also having a gf who likes sci-fi and violent FPS video gaming helps

Left my paints and minatures out on the kitchen table the first time that the GF (soon to be mrs Darkkt) came around. I figured best to get it out of the way - so no misunderstandings later on.

You tell them its a game you play. You tell them you enjoy the relaxing qualities it has, and the mental challenge. Along with the creativeness you get out of it. This only works if you paint your army and win almost all your games.

Seriously, if you are confident about it most girls wont give two gaks. Of course its also your personality. If you weigh 300 pounds, smell like cheese, and only leave your moms basement to play warhams chances are the girls you are getting are so desperate that they are beyond caring.

But most of us have friends who have nothing to do with gaming. All the girls that have seen my warhammer models have at most asked what they were and said nothing else. Just didnt care. The best was a girl who seemed to think my pink librarian paint job was kick ass, we had sex later that night. The worst was, "oh ive seen this before." Thats it.

Its all about your personality. A girl will never stop talking to you because you play warhammer. If you are a complete social slow/embarrassment then she will. But as I said above, the stereotypical neckbeard gets no action because hes a super nerd with nerdy hobbies. The normal guy who plays warhammer can because hes a normal guy with a nerdy hobby. My army case goes under my bed until saturday when I play. I dont even paint. So its not a big deal since its not what my life revolves around.

I usually explain it as "Chess, but way more complicated." If people want to know a little more, I tell them you paint the pieces your self, and that you can play with regular soldiers, Master-Chief kinda guys (if you think about it, Master-Chief is pretty much an Astartes with all the Grimdark removed) or basically the bugs from Starship troopers.

My current relationship situation is more of a feth buddies thing than a couple, so hobbies and stuff don't factor in like they do in a normal relationship. The subject has come up before. She's pretty much happy that I've got somewhere to go and do "man things," (the possibility that women might like it has so far escaped her,) and she thinks it's cool that there's painting involved. As it's been said, if playing Warhammer is a deal breaker for a potential partner, then one can be certain that other, more serious problems would likely arise down the road.

Commander Endova wrote:" (the possibility that women might like it has so far escaped her,)

I read this as you regretting she doesnt play, and if thats so you arent just feth buddies.

No reason to avoid discussing your hobby, but as Insaniak said, I never force the conversation of any of my hobbies on anyone. If I'm discussing it, someone is probably inquisitive about it.

Don't try to dress it up, we are playing with toy soldiers. This is an advanced version requiring painting, making terrain and rolling dice. No reason to keep you hobby a secret. Heck, I got back into 40k because my GF has several friends that play. She is not interested herself, as she describes painting/modeling as being too fiddly.

I'm kinda lucky though, cause despite rumors to the contrary, hot gamer chicks do exist. We play pen and paper RPGs together often, and she likes hanging out while I play 40k - they are her friends after all.

it only matters if they like you but they don't know you sometimes it ends badly.
My Gf dumped me. And then it happened again. Do not do what i do.

Vindicator#9 wrote:+1 to insaniak. Dont be embarassed about it as some of my coworkers have asked about it and seem intrigued by it. Even jocks can be intrigued by it. My younger brother being one of them to a point seems pretty interested by it and wants to try it. I hope to get him involved in it sometime when i get a chance. Just to clarify my brother is not your typical jock though he is really into sports as i was when i was his age. My brother is the type to make friends with anyone but hangs out with the jock crowd more often than not.

Agreed Im an insaine Rugby playing, book reading, wargamer, if any one has a problem with that i know that i can beat them mentally or physically. Its as easy as that.
At least we dont waist our time playing world of warcraft or using drugs, we could be worse.

The girlfriend knows, the first time I went to see her in Hong Kong I made a pilgramige to the GW shop.

As for how to explain it:

That joke needs a cameo appearance by Dark Eldar, K_K.

I found the 4 X 8 gaming table in my room in college came in handy for more than 40k, if you know what I mean.

Eidolon wrote:

Commander Endova wrote:" (the possibility that women might like it has so far escaped her,)

I read this as you regretting she doesnt play, and if thats so you arent just feth buddies.

No. She just thinks its a guy thing, akin to fishing, gun clubs and wrestling bears.

Funny thing is, I wish she and I were more then feth buddies. She doesn't want to be in a comitted relationship. I do. And yes I've already turned in my man card for that. = /

Manchu wrote:That joke needs a cameo appearance by Dark Eldar, K_K.

First I have 998 more chapters to cover.

Worst of all, 503 of them are painted black.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

skkipper wrote:I found the 4 X 8 gaming table in my room in college came in handy for more than 40k, if you know what I mean.

You played Epic?

Kid_Kyoto wrote:You played Epic?

How would you explain what Warhammer is to a member of the opposite sex?

"Competitive combat simulation in the polystyrene medium"

How would you explain what the opposite sex is to a member of Warhammer?

Spotted a little typo in your title.

Seriously though, it's a hobby. Up there with surfing and paintball. I guess some might love the creativity, and others will make fun of the nerds, while most would probably just roll thier eyes at the whole 'Grimdarkness' as a boyish thing. They'll come up with a much better idea...

Henners91 wrote:How would you explain what Warhammer is to a member of the opposite sex? You would look her in the eye, pretend she's a guy and speak to her like any other dude lol.

Would you even tell an aquaintance you play Warhammer?

Yeah.

Is it embarassing?

Not at all. Everyone has some kind of hobby - there are worse things than 40k.

From an external viewpoint, does it look pretty sad?

Only as mentioned if you look/act like a tool. It helps if you're hot, and hot guys do game, alot of girls think it's sexy

Ah yes. And then there are girls like binky and Morgrim...

"Girls like me" that's good right ?

*shrug* I guess. Only thing is I'm dissapointed that all the female members seem to be taken...

And then there's the disturbing tendency for 'Girls like you' to collect Slaanesh and Dark Eldar...

Emperors Faithful wrote:*shrug* I guess. Only thing is I'm dissapointed that all the female members seem to be taken...

And then there's the disturbing tendency for 'Girls like you' to collect Slaanesh and Darl Eldar...

I don't think they're all taken and besides there's plenty of non-members who'd love their nerdy boyfriends regardless. I think that's what some guys need to realize that you'll hate her shoe collection as much as she despises your toy soldiers but there's always room for a guy in her life. And besides shoes look hot. And isn't that what most guys want?

Yeah girls who are into all things grimdark tend to lean towards the dark and/or kinky side. Very unlikely you'll find any striaghtlaced chicks who have a variety of hobbies.

p.s What is wrong with Slaanesh? I take offence! Daemons are really cute

I call it the Hot Topic effect.

Manchu wrote:I call it the Hot Topic effect.

Indeed.

My explanation to my girlfriend?

It's like chess, but more complicated and with some story. I left it at that I might tell her more later if she shows interesting, but that's about it.

Also I'm not embarassed when I tell people simply because it's what I like. It's not like I bang puppies, or go around streaking. I'm just paint and assembling models, and then play the game and try to win...nuff said.

Sgt.Sunshine wrote: It's not like I bang puppies, or go around streaking.

Yeah, had to give these up a while ago.

The only gf I've had didn't mind that I did it: she was a massive Star Wars (serious fan = has Stormtrooper armour) fan and she had already played Fire Warrior, so she thought it was ok.

Valkyrie wrote:The only gf I've had didn't mind that I did it: she was a massive Star Wars (serious fan = has Stormtrooper armour) fan and she had already played Fire Warrior, so she thought it was ok.

Is she available? ^_^

Emperors Faithful wrote:

Valkyrie wrote:The only gf I've had didn't mind that I did it: she was a massive Star Wars (serious fan = has Stormtrooper armour) fan and she had already played Fire Warrior, so she thought it was ok.

Is she available? ^_^

Nope

Valkyrie wrote:she had already played Fire Warrior.

Wait a sec, Fire Warrior was her only exposure to the game, and she was still okay with it?!?

My wife thinks that painting toy soldiers is what convicts do in prison.

RustyKnight wrote:

Valkyrie wrote:she had already played Fire Warrior.

Wait a sec, Fire Warrior was her only exposure to the game, and she was still okay with it?!?

Yeah...she does like all the sci-fi stuff...

Btw, we're not together or anything, but she's taken, just to answer Emperors Faithful's quesiton.

Come on, theres a much easier way to explain this all:
1: pull up the trailors for DoW 2
2: put WD in the toilet for her to read
3: when Space Marine [the game] comes out, play it in front of her

I'm too lazy to explain, plus i've been single for so long.

Number 2 would clog my toilet.

Valkyrie wrote:

RustyKnight wrote:

Valkyrie wrote:she had already played Fire Warrior.

Wait a sec, Fire Warrior was her only exposure to the game, and she was still okay with it?!?

Yeah...she does like all the sci-fi stuff...

Btw, we're not together or anything, but she's taken, just to answer Emperors Faithful's quesiton.

And my never ending quest continues...

Vindicator#9 wrote:Number 2 would clog my toilet.

>_< That is so wrong.

When i first told my girlfriend, i had taken her up to my room ( i am only a late teen ) to get out of the parents annoying habit of talking! So anyway i have a desk on my room dedicated to ps3 game, photo's and 40k, and i went to the toilet and came back into my room to find her pretending to gun down my inquisitor with a sister...it was easy as that, i just said i like to paint, it makes me feel better sometimes, she now plays (500 pts) of eldar win i say

That was just waiting to be said!

My Mrs is a teacher and so had heard of and seen "Warhammers" long before I told her that I was into wargaming. Although this did mean that she associated it with obnoxious smelly 12-15 year olds, not obnoxoius 33 year olds!

In retrospect I should also have told her that I was into wargaming before we bought a house together and that allot of the 20+ boxes I was moving into our new house contained assorted wargaming gear. In my defence I had been out of the hobby for a few years and it hadn't come up in coversation. Of course once she started rummaging through my possessions to see what I had and what she could thow away she uncovered my dark secret - RT Ultramarines + IG!!

I explained that it was stuff collected over a few years and she was cool with it. Going so far as to ask me about getting display cabinets [although I suspect that this had more to do with her desire to go shopping!] and getting it all out of the boxes.

This is actually what sparked my interest again and what lead me to Dak Dak. Something she has not been so cool with ["on forums again, you have a baby to look after too Grrrrr!"], but she believes that it keeps me away from the rugby club and pub so peace reigns [usually!].

Of the extraordinarily stupid things my Gf has seen me do, the "model game" is a minor issue that she has to hammer out in the next 40+ years.

the "it makes me good with my hands" retort seems to put it to bed quite effectively.

now that shes seen a few games and likes some of the more presentable members of the local group its just another guy thing.

embarassed.....not at all.
thank the Big E for Wow, those guys make us look almost normal

I never really tried to explain the game to a female.
Makes no sense.

the game or explaining to a female, you giggly jerry?

I just tell people it's like Risk but more complicated.

Skinnattittar wrote:I just tell people it's like Risk but more complicated.

This is a good line to use. It's not completely accurate, but it makes the light click on for them.

It's also a good response if you get the "is that like Dungeons and Dragons?" question.

I used to say it was "like Risk and Dungeons and Dragons," but neither are a really good explanation, and since I have never played D&D, I can't answer the deluge of questions about D&D that usually follow.

"Their like GI. Joe action figures for adults"

"Playing with toy soldiers was once the pasttime of European nobility"

"Its a guy thing, understand? I don't ask why you love to go shopping"

whenever i have to explain it to somebody in the know, i simply tell them that my hobby involves buying expensive plastic toy soldiers, painting them, and then finding other grown men to have imagineary battles with our toy soldiers. it works really well.

jokemode

labmouse42 wrote:"Their like GI. Joe action figures for adults"

Are you saying GI Joe action figures aren't for adults?! Blasphemy!

labmouse42 wrote:"Playing with toy soldiers was once the pasttime of European nobility"

Once? Still!

labmouse42 wrote:"Its a guy thing, understand? I don't ask why you love to go shopping"

I like shopping too...
/jokemode

Had a few people ask me about it in depth after my English professor decided to read my essay out-loud when we wrote on our hobbies. Granted mine wasn't about weed or clubbing so of course my topic became of interest to him. I simply explained 'you buy boxes of plastic, make small soldiers and vehicles, paint them your own color's of choice, then take delight in watching your opponent's own force melt away.'

Some called it nerdy, some said it sounded just weird, one guy even said that it sounded alot like world of warcraft I just shrugged, said take from it what you will and rolled my head back as zoned out after several others were read.

I just mention it outright. I'm not embarassed about it, and if a girl thinks it's wierd or stupid or whatever she's probably not my type anyway.

I describe it as being a game about collecting and painting, and then playing with miniatures.

labmouse42 wrote:
"Playing with toy soldiers was once the pasttime of European nobility"

I like this one.

Skinnattittar wrote:I just tell people it's like Risk but more complicated.

I used to say that, but then I started running into people who replied 'Like what?'

Turns out there's an awful lot of people out there who don't play board games. Saying it's kind of like a more complex type of Chess seems to convey more to most non-gamers.

"These guys have swords with Chainsaws on them. And this gun has another gun built onto the bottom of his first gun. Oh - and those green guys? They talk like soccer hooligans."

metallifan wrote:"These guys have swords with Chainsaws on them. And this gun has another gun built onto the bottom of it. Oh - and those green guys? They talk like soccer hooligans."

And EVERY typical girl would reply, "What's a Chainsword"? To which most people simply give up.

It is what I said - A sword with a chainsaw on it. I never called it a Chainsword

binky wrote:

*Pat* It's okay babe. You're just not drunk enough yet. For some reason you differ from the rest of us, as you use forums while sober.

It's okay. We'll get you good and liquored. Then you'll be fine

metallifan wrote:"These guys have swords with Chainsaws on them. And this gun has another gun built onto the bottom of his first gun. Oh - and those green guys? They talk like soccer hooligans."

you forgot POWER WEAPONS! because in the GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, THERE ARE ONLY POWER WEAPONS! POWER SWORDS POWER ARMOR POWER FISTS POWER FEET POWER LIFTING POWER STEERING POWER SPAWNING BABIES! YOU'LL HAVE SO MANY BABIES! 40,000 BABIES!!!! GIVE POWERFISTS TO YOUR BABIES AND THEY CAN SERVE THE EMPRAH!!!!!

okay im done now

Corvus wrote:

metallifan wrote:"These guys have swords with Chainsaws on them. And this gun has another gun built onto the bottom of his first gun. Oh - and those green guys? They talk like soccer hooligans."

you forgot POWER WEAPONS! because in the GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, THERE ARE ONLY POWER WEAPONS! POWER SWORDS POWER ARMOR POWER FISTS POWER FEET POWER LIFTING POWER STEERING POWER SPAWNING BABIES! YOU'LL HAVE SO MANY BABIES! 40,000 BABIES!!!! GIVE POWERFISTS TO YOUR BABIES AND THEY CAN SERVE THE EMPRAH!!!!!

okay im done now

Yep, that won the thread. Same time next week, guys?

Stop ripping off the Powerthirst joke guys.
And for those who don't know google MENERGY!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs&feature=fvst

Now I need a drink.

Damn it! Double post.

Dangit the thread's over?

One of the most entertaining and charming threads I've seen in ages. So glad most of you also know 'the secret' - don't be ashamed and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I've seen a guy use Magic: The Gathering as a chat-up tool. Didn't matter what he was talking about, he was confident, witty and enthusiastic.

I'd say, if in doubt, say 'I'm so sexy and charming I play with toy soldiers and have no regrets.' Then flex your biceps and kiss your lady like you're Errol Flynn on crack.

Also, try to ignore the giggling and dodge the knee in the nadgers.

Also, Corvus, I regret not being born as you.

Also, also, also.

binky wrote:Stop ripping off the Powerthirst joke guys.
And for those who don't know google MENERGY!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs&feature=fvst

Now I need a drink.

but...but I like ripping off powerthirst
On a related note, the funniest powerthirst ripoff I've ever seen is the US Army Ranger version. Just youtube search "Ranger school promo"
have fun!

darn, I really thought I could win the thread...

Emperors Faithful wrote:

Sgt.Sunshine wrote: It's not like I bang puppies, or go around streaking.

Yeah, had to give these up a while ago.

Yeah, I know right? Right after they passed that by-law everything's just been going down hill.

Lol at the Powerthirst reference.

Sgt.Sunshine wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

Sgt.Sunshine wrote: It's not like I bang puppies, or go around streaking.

Yeah, had to give these up a while ago.

Yeah, I know right? Right after they passed that by-law everything's just been going down hill.

Less is more. Try to savour the illegality.

To most people I just say, "A boardgame I my friends got me to play a couple years ago. It's a lot like Risk."

and when they say "I never played risk."

I reply with, "You lead armies of soldiers around to capture counties in risk. You roll dice to see who wins or loses. Same thing with Warhammer, we move squads of soldiers around to capture objectives and we roll dice too. Main difference is a bigger board and tanks are added in."


usually they stop there with an "I see..." or "Gotcha...". I definitely leave out and change some info, but it makes it simpler to explain. The only people who care for specifics are the ones who think it's interesting. I explain how it really works to those guys and the rest are left with a general idea of what it is.

@ Gandair - don't you flex anywhere in that explanation?

@ Emperor's Faithful - I'm desperately holding back my follow-on to that comment. Must...Not...Sayitonthewebs...!

Now Im just curious CR... you have to say it now!

It's chess with stats.

enmitee wrote:It's chess with stats.

You mean "It's chess with stats. And grimdark. And Space Marines. And dice. And a measuring tape. So... I guess it's not like Chess at all."

I've been playing Warhammer 40k and various CCGs for 11 years now (I'm 22 years old).

On my way through highschool, and a bit in college, I tended to avoid bringing it up to anyone who wasn't part of my gaming group. I also played soccer and Lacrosse, and I should be playing soccer at any one of a bunch of D1 schools who were set to offer me a scholarship before a very unfortunate car accident ended my career. So I guess I've been walking in both extremes (the sterotypical jock/athlete/preppy side, and the nerdy gamer side). I figured out very quickly that the people who are trying to be cool will thrash you relentlessly for it. This is unfortunate because the people trying to be cool and edgy tend to be the moron preppy kids featured on shows like the Real World, so society perpetuates it and there are always a few of these people in the "popular kids" social circles at schools. with people like that, it is very hard to find a positive reaction to something like this.

With anyone who has any sort of open mind and concept of individuality it is much different. Having been tossed in around the previous group of people for so long I'm still learning to be more open about the hobbies I have, but when I do tell people they tend to think that it is very cool and creative. I was working for a law firm a couple of years ago and one of the lawyers (a friend of mine and one of the people I always got along great with at the firm) saw me looking at the GW website on my break and asked me about it. I braced for impact as I explained it. He responded with "that is a very interesting and unique hobby and it sounds like it does well to condition your brain for critical thinking and problem solving skills." I was astonished at his response but he just laughed, punched me in the arm and walked away.

As for my girlfriend, I knew her for 2 years before we started dating so she already knew. I never really talked about it that much because I wasn't sure how she felt about it though, but one day she brought it up and said she wanted to start painting with me. I thought that was awesome, and thats where we are now. she always thought it was a cute quirk of mine to be so shy about the gaming stuff because I tend to be very open about everything else. One day she was even wearing some panties that said "I <3 Geeks" across the back. Needless to say, that was pretty awesome.

As time goes on, I definitely find myself caring a whole lot less about the opinions of people who will shoot gaming related hobbies down and call them stupid before they even know anything about them. I can't stand the type of BS social stereotyping I mentioned earlier in my post. Basically for me, the people who are judgmental and closed minded about things like this are not really worth bothering with, and they're the ones missing out. I'm not saying that everyone should play the games. I am saying that people should not belittile and debase others because they play the games.

Caffran9 wrote:I've been playing Warhammer 40k and various CCGs for 11 years now (I'm 22 years old).

On my way through highschool, and a bit in college, I tended to avoid bringing it up to anyone who wasn't part of my gaming group. I also played soccer and Lacrosse, and I should be playing soccer at any one of a bunch of D1 schools who were set to offer me a scholarship before a very unfortunate car accident ended my career. So I guess I've been walking in both extremes (the sterotypical jock/athlete/preppy side, and the nerdy gamer side). I figured out very quickly that the people who are trying to be cool will thrash you relentlessly for it. This is unfortunate because the people trying to be cool and edgy tend to be the moron preppy kids featured on shows like the Real World, so society perpetuates it and there are always a few of these people in the "popular kids" social circles at schools. with people like that, it is very hard to find a positive reaction to something like this.

With anyone who has any sort of open mind and concept of individuality it is much different. Having been tossed in around the previous group of people for so long I'm still learning to be more open about the hobbies I have, but when I do tell people they tend to think that it is very cool and creative. I was working for a law firm a couple of years ago and one of the lawyers (a friend of mine and one of the people I always got along great with at the firm) saw me looking at the GW website on my break and asked me about it. I braced for impact as I explained it. He responded with "that is a very interesting and unique hobby and it sounds like it does well to condition your brain for critical thinking and problem solving skills." I was astonished at his response but he just laughed, punched me in the arm and walked away.

As for my girlfriend, I knew her for 2 years before we started dating so she already knew. I never really talked about it that much because I wasn't sure how she felt about it though, but one day she brought it up and said she wanted to start painting with me. I thought that was awesome, and thats where we are now. she always thought it was a cute quirk of mine to be so shy about the gaming stuff because I tend to be very open about everything else. One day she was even wearing some panties that said "I <3 Geeks" across the back. Needless to say, that was pretty awesome.

As time goes on, I definitely find myself caring a whole lot less about the opinions of people who will shoot gaming related hobbies down and call them stupid before they even know anything about them. I can't stand the type of BS social stereotyping I mentioned earlier in my post. Basically for me, the people who are judgmental and closed minded about things like this are not really worth bothering with, and they're the ones missing out. I'm not saying that everyone should play the games. I am saying that people should not belittile and debase others because they play the games.

QFT

If someone asks what it is, I'm glad to explain it in as simple, or as complicated, an explaination as they wish. If they decide to play the part of the immature and rip on the game, I don't really care. I enjoy it, and they're missing out as far as I see things.

Honestly, the only embarrassing thing about the hobby is how much money I spend on it.

I saw a number of you who said that if it comes up, it comes up. I've often brought it up early enough on in friendships/relationships as a sort of testing the waters. Honestly, if someone flips out that you have "toys" after two weeks of knowing them, why bother wasting a year to tell them?

My wife thinks the game is ridiculous, but she doesn't think I'm ridiculous, so who cares?

I describe it thusly.
"Take the man-child of Risk and Chess. Glue chainsaws, guns, and tentacles on. Put it in the blender. You have 40K."

Well, I just say its a more complicated form of chess.

As for my girlfriend who will hopefully become miss Advent, she actually likes it! I was actually shocked and was pretty much askin her really?

She wants to start a Vampire Counts army but she doesnt have the funds to start one.

@OP: How much self confidence do you have?

There's nothing "wrong" with playing with toy soldiers. In my case, it's a chance to hang out with the guys and shoot the breeze, and the actual gaming is secondary.

That said, if you need something more traditional, remote-control cars, poker, paintball, and so forth are all worthy alternatives.

Captain Roderick wrote:@ Gandair - don't you flex anywhere in that explanation?

I try and make it short, and simple to grasp. If they ask questions I'll start unraveling it for them. There's little point in talking to someone about a subject when they only marginally care about it. The short, but slightly inaccurate summary line seems to fall into the category of "Oh, that's how it works" as opposed to "Wow that's a lot of rules" or "Is he still talking? I care less now than when I asked a minute ago."

Oh, now that someone's brought it up I think it does have a lot to do with self-confidence. It you act timid and show weakness that jerks in the world will prod at that opening. However, if you just be straightforward, explain it, and shrug it off than everything seems to go swimmingly? At least for me that was the case at one point :/

I know I mentioned before that I explained it to my GF in a very simple manner, but before I'd never mention things like this. Why? Fear of being criticized and possibly being an outcast, mind you I was in like...middle school when I first started having an interested in 40k. Now I'm in uni and honestly I don't really give a damn what people think so now I'm acting upon my interest, finally =3=, and rocking out!

Also people who try to act cool tend to be losers and other words that I'm not really sure I can mention here...but in short they kind of end up acting like idiots :/

@ Gandair and Sgt Sunshine - It's all about confidence, as usual. I say flex - even though I never actually do it - to symbolise reckless self-deprecatory confidence, as good humour and no shame is all you really need to explain this hobby to someone without negative impact.

And yes, also good to avoid obsessive babbling, keep it short

1. Yes.

2. Why would it be embarassing? theres are worse hobbies out there

3. IMO, no, it actually proves you can commit to something.

As for not telling your GF/BF etc. I think thats straight up garbage, if your GF/BF would leave just because of your hobby I'd figure you'r better off that way.

As for people who stoop as low as name calling because of a hobby like this... /facepalm: the only anwser, not worth the time to think about those kinds of people.

If you tell someone and they are interested, share the knowledge, if not? Don't.

enmitee wrote:It's chess with stats.

OMG did you see how the Knight got nurfed in that new codex.
Whats with kings being a 1+ HQ choice? Why can't I play with 2 queens?

Having been 'spoken for' for 5 years it hasn't really been an issue, however I usually go with:

Don't mention it until appropriate/asked about it.

Stick with 'It's like risk, but more complicated'

If they show interest, the whay! else meh...

labmouse42 wrote:

enmitee wrote:It's chess with stats.

OMG did you see how the Knight got nurfed in that new codex.
Whats with kings being a 1+ HQ choice? Why can't I play with 2 queens?

This wins the thread.

Emperors Faithful wrote:

labmouse42 wrote:

enmitee wrote:It's chess with stats.

OMG did you see how the Knight got nurfed in that new codex.
Whats with kings being a 1+ HQ choice? Why can't I play with 2 queens?

This wins the thread.

+1.

For me my girlfriend was hanging out in my room when she came across an unopened box of necromunda Eschers and Van Saar and a cadian box for my IG army. Needless to say she actually fell in love with 40k and even got her friend to start playing it. So to the OP just tell them about your hobby. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

The wife, when she was a "date" (i.e. she was supposed to be moving to Arz. and I didn't want a GF) and neither of us thought it would last longer than two weeks. She went into my room, and about the third time she was over did she actually LOOK at the SHELVES of painted mini's, and she just told me when she saw them she was like "Oh man... this guy is a loser...." but seriously I couldn't even tell you what i said or even what I did to stave that "first impression" off. But she ended up canceling her plans to move about three days before she was supposed to go. We started actually dating, then about four or five months in, I started my Ultramarines 3rd Co. project. Its been almost five years, we have two kids and are happily married.
I think she fell in love with my passion and enthusiasm for the game, not the game itself. And I get my "game time" where i get to hang out with the boys and do "nerd stuff" and she gets her "girls nights" where she goes drinks coffee and BS-s with her girlfriends.

I actually introduced 40K to my girlfriend on our very first date. We went out for lunch, and on the way back we walked into my FLGS so I could check out a new codex.

Honestly, as long as you're passionate about what you do, the actual hobby shouldn't even matter.